Chapter 23
Chapter 23
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 23
Chapter Title: Hammer Dud~♥ Fighting!♬
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Kwak Jun-ki was an ordinary college student who loved Ias.
He'd always preferred the RPG genre, and there weren't many games that could melt away time quite like an RPG.
So, it was only natural that he ended up playing Ias, the top K-RPG at the time.
💬 Chat — Rash Decision Dude, dodge it or something, f**k! — Rash Decision Is this even hard? — Kreulin User Hey, warrior dude... this is a tryhard party, though. — Kreulin User Swearing's kinda not cool. — Rash Decision No, f**k, tryhard or not, you're not dodging s**t. — Rash Decision How the hell are we supposed to clear with this monkey a**hole? But his hot-tempered and impulsive personality made raid content, which required syncing with party members, far from his cup of tea.
📰 Community Post Rash Decision << Who the f**k is this psycho? He'd been shunned in the community and blacklisted from most raid parties at one point.
What caught his eye instead was PVP content.
PVP, where he didn't have to care about others' feelings and could win just by playing well on his own.
PVP wasn't hugely popular back then or now, but it was decent enough.
— Rash Decision You suck balls. — Rash Decision Quit, you f**king loser lol. Especially teabagging on their corpse after beating an opponent—that gave him an irreplaceable dopamine hit.
That was how he became a PVP demon.
People who didn't do PVP were mere mortals lacking control.
He, who enjoyed PVP, was a talented player with superior physicals and control.
Kwak Jun-ki, steeped in elitist ideology, turned into a toxic PVP addict who despised normal PVE players.
Then one day, he spotted a community post title that rubbed him the wrong way.
📰 Community Post Why every PVP player is a total loser lol.txt 'F**king b**ch...'
These worms who can't control worth a damn and only fight AI dare mock PVP?
He was about to unload a wall of text rant in the comments when he clicked the post—
📰 Posted by Saintess Nice (Abyss.jpg)
💬 Comments — Anonymous Aaah f**k noooooooo — Anonymous You f**king bastard — Anonymous Waaaaaaaah — Anonymous No f**k don't click if you see the author — Anonymous Kraaaaaagh He gazed into the abyss.
"Aaaagh! F**k—!"
He instinctively shut his eyes at the sudden threat to his life, but the image burned into his retinas remained vivid.
A character that blended animal and human in a way that unsettled any viewer, plunging them into disgust.
And that character... probing each other's mouths... horrific...
"Aaaaaagh!"
📰 Community Post That crazy gold farmer is for real. 📰 Community Post What the hell... what happened here? 📰 Community Post Don't click the one below, seriously. 📰 Community Post This post has been deleted for violating operational policies. He later learned it was one of the four biochemical weapons known as the "Furry Kiss."
And Kwak Jun-ki never forgot that moment.
Even seeing a normal animal-eared character would bring that image to mind; it was etched clearly into his brain.
After that, Kwak Jun-ki bided his time, waiting only for a chance to get revenge on Saintess Nice.
📰 Live Stream Saintess Nice LIVE ON: Anyone wanna PVP? Loser turns on cam and does Zero Two dance for 3 mins. And finally, the opportunity arrived.
In the PVP content he was most confident in, no less.
Kwak Jun-ki thought this was truly a gift from the heavens.
A chance to properly avenge what that crazy b**ch had done to him.
'From the verification pic... she's got a killer body.'
"Gulp..."
Of course,
— Rash Decision Zero Two dance if you lose? For real? — Rash Decision Cam on? He wasn't above wanting to see that Zero Two dance either.
— Saintess Nice Yeah. — Rash Decision Eye candy jackpot lol. — Rash Decision You won't chicken out and run, right? — Saintess Nice Nope. He was a Master-tier player, after all, proud of his skills.
The hammer warrior he mained was a joke in PVE—mocked as "Hammer Dud" for its trash performance.
But in PVP, it was a cheat character that could chunk over half an opponent's HP in one hit.
Of course, the matchup wasn't favorable.
'Saintess might be a pain...'
Saintesses in PVP were poke-and-control characters, harassing from range with prayers and spells—sneaky bastards.
They were the absolute worst matchup for a hammer warrior waiting to land a big hit.
That is, if they picked the "Holy Book" as their main weapon.
But Saintess Nice was famous for one-handed sword Saintess, so she'd probably bring that—
⚙ PVP MATCH ⚙ [Saintess Nice: Saintess/Tambourine] [0] VS [0] [Hammer/Warrior: Rash Decision] ⚙ SYSTEM ⚙ Defeat your opponent before the time limit ends! 01:30... Eh?
"What?"
Tambourine?
That tambourine I know?
The one that jingles when you shake it, something you only see in karaoke rooms or kindergarten daycare?
For real?
Kwak Jun-ki doubted his eyes for a moment but quickly regained his composure.
And he thought to himself,
'Zero Two is gonna be a steal.'
With thoughts of sleeping soundly tonight, he swung the hammer warrior's massive hammer at the Saintess.
An aggressive ambush, dumping mobility and attack skills right at the start.
[Hyaah!]
-Whoooosh!
With the warrior's mighty shout and the sound of air tearing, the giant hammer cleaved through empty space.
The Saintess used her mobility skill to back away, barely dodging the attack.
'Not bad at range control.'
It was a surprise big hit, but her reaction was sharp.
Still, it wouldn't turn the tide that easily.
Weapons in the "Instrument" category weren't really weapons at all.
They just enabled "Performance" skills for users to compose and play music sheets together.
Dozens of players had orchestrated full concerts and uploaded videos that went viral.
So, they sure as hell weren't made for PVP.
'Why the f**k are instruments even selectable as PVP weapons?'
Whatever.
Whether she picked wrong or on purpose, who cares.
Jackpot, see ya, Saintess Nice!
The warrior pulled the hammer back with full force, preparing another massive swing.
[SWING!], a wide horizontal sweep with the giant hammer.
Long charge time, but widest range and highest damage—the hammer warrior's signature move.
In PVP, though, the long charge made it an easy dodge, a useless skill.
'She probably doesn't know this trick...'
Mix in a mobility skill mid-[SWING!] charge, and you could double the range in an instant.
A tricky technique perfect for catching a careless opponent outside the range and one-shotting them.
'Come on, get your cam ready and practice that dance!'
As the charge neared completion, the moment he tried to dash toward the oblivious Saintess—
-Ting♪
-Thwack!
💥 INTERRUPTED! 💥 [Swing charge broken]
[Gurk!]
The tambourine jingle cut off the swing charge.
"Huh?"
Right before the charge finished, the Saintess dashed in with her mobility and landed a basic attack.
And she didn't stop there—
-Ting♪ Ting♪ Ting♪ Ting♪
-Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
💥 KNOCKDOWN! 💥 Tambourine 5-hit combo
[Kugh!]
Four more basic attacks knocked the warrior to the ground.
"What the hell, a tambourine has stun?!"
A five-hit tambourine combo in the blink of an eye.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ HP: 130,095 / 130,100 The situation wasn't bad yet.
Instrument weapons dealt fixed 1 damage regardless of specs, so the warrior had only lost 5 HP.
'Then why does this feel so gross?'
But separately, the slap-like attack animation and jingly tambourine sound were insanely grating and humiliating.
He wanted to get up right now, smash that Saintess, and shatter the tambourine.
'Save the get-up skill... don't know what else she's got.'
But he held back.
He tried to, anyway.
-Jingle♪ Jingle♪
If only Saintess Nice hadn't started dancing and shaking her tambourine in front of his downed character.
Her grotesquely customized Saintess amid all the cute, pretty ones others made.
Pitch-black skin so dark you couldn't see eyes, nose, or mouth, clad in over-saturated red-and-blue RGB-glitch clothes.
Seeing her mock him like that, dancing and jingling—
"You f**king b**ch!"
Kwak Jun-ki's patience finally broke.
He used his get-up skill, swinging the hammer straight at the Saintess.
'No charge skills—let's settle this with basics!'
Unlike swing, basics had no charge—instant cast.
As the hammer face closed in on her head—
[Hngh!]
-Ting♪
-Thwack!
The warrior's basic was interrupted again.
The tambourine slapped his cheek faster than the hammer reached her.
"No way! I pressed first!!"
And then, same as before.
-Ting♪ Ting♪ Ting♪ Ting♪
-Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
💥 KNOCKDOWN! 💥 Tambourine barrage again
[Kugh!]
The warrior hit the ground powerlessly once more.
"Ah, f**k, seriously?!"
What was the point of that muscled body if getting hit by a tambourine sent him sprawling like a starfish?
And Saintess Nice, once again—
-Jingle♪ Jingle♪
"Haa... f**k..."
Dancing and shaking her tambourine over his fallen character.
He'd already used his get-up skill, so it would take a bit to rise again.
-Jingle♪ Jingle♪
He had to keep listening to that dance and jingle.
That annoyed him most of all, but what completely shattered his mind was something else.
The cheer from her stream running in the background:
"Fighting!♬ Fighting!♪ Hammer Dud~♥ Fighting!♬" Saintess Nice's cheers.
Hearing that, Kwak Jun-ki realized one thing.
⚙ SYSTEM ⚙ 00:01... 00:00... Time's up! ⚙ MATCH RESULT ⚙ [Saintess Nice: HP 100%] VS [Rash Decision: HP 99.99%] Saintess Nice Wins! ⚙ PVP MATCH ⚙ [Saintess Nice: Saintess/Tambourine] [1] VS [0] [Hammer/Warrior: Rash Decision] "...F**k..."
It seemed he'd messed with the wrong crazy b**ch.