The Shining Knight (1)
Asena tried every way she could to deny it, no matter how much she twisted her thoughts or how Caiden tried to frame the act. A flower was still a gift a man gave to a woman he was interested in. The way it was given, the atmosphere surrounding it—none of that changed. The shock Asena had to endure this time was immense. It felt as if a line had been drawn between her and Caiden, as though the emotions they shared were now perfectly reversed.
She could have accepted the first time he gave flowers. That act had once belonged to them. But not this time. This time, there was no room for doubt—the flowers had been prepared for Daisy. And this was already the second time. No matter the intention, the repeated act of offering flowers carried a clear meaning.
"......"
While Daisy stood speechless, moved to tears, Caiden spoke.
"...You looked so guilty it made me uncomfortable. It’s just flowers. I gave them again so you wouldn’t feel sorry."
Even after he added those words, Asena’s heart found no relief. He tried to lighten the burden with casual phrasing, but the core of the act remained unchanged. Watching Daisy blush shyly, Asena could only feel a deep, bitter jealousy. It was as if a fire had ignited inside her—suffocating and burning. She had never felt this chest-tightening emotion before and had no idea how to ease it. The more she thought about it, the fiercer it grew. The more she considered its meaning, the harder it became to breathe.
Caiden probably wasn’t ignorant of what the gesture implied. After all... he had never once given her flowers. Not to his own sister. In the past, he had occasionally plucked wildflowers from the grass and tucked them into her hair, but never like this—never as a deliberate gift.
Once again, Asena was forced to confront what she meant to Caiden. The difference was painfully clear. She had known it, but seeing it like this hurt far more than she expected. No matter how much Caiden loved her, no matter how great that love was, what she truly wanted was the same affection he showed Daisy.
The love she had received until now suddenly felt worthless. It had been so precious that she clung to every memory, holding them tightly so none would slip away. Yet now it seemed meaningless. If he would not give her the love he showed Daisy, then what she had was nothing more than a love destined to become a memory. Familial love was always like that—it had to end someday. The only love that could last forever, until death, was the love between a man and a woman.
The affection he had given her had always been a different color. And accepting that truth was unbearably difficult for Asena. Why was it that this woman, simply because she wasn’t a Freister, could naturally share such tender moments with Caiden, while no matter what Asena did, it was never allowed? Caiden had once been her only light when she was young and struggling, becoming everything to her. Was that light now meant to fade again?
All her efforts until now had been to earn his praise, to gain the strength to protect him. Yet he drifted away like a free wind, leaving her behind. The thought of his affection and attention turning toward another woman made her stomach churn. If she had Caiden, nothing else mattered. But without him, nothing in this world could ever satisfy her.
She had already anticipated all of this. That was why she had spoken of banishing him as a precaution. Yet in the end, she was only growing further apart from him.
Asena rose from her seat. Only then did she realize her legs were trembling, but she forced herself upright.
“....Oppa. I need to talk to you for a moment.”
In the end, Asena was the one who spoke first. The battle of wills had ended. She had surrendered. Just watching him share that warm atmosphere with Daisy already made her chest unbearably tight. Adding the fact that he was still angry with her made it impossible to breathe. She needed a moment to rest.
Judy, sensing the mood, did not follow. Asena took a deep breath and waited for Caiden. Soon, he stepped outside.
The moment she saw him, her throat tightened. She held her breath and forced back the tears. She couldn’t cry now.
“......What is it?”
His tone was stiff. Asena’s expression crumbled. She could no longer maintain her hardened face.
“....I was wrong... so please stop now.”
“.........”
“Please stop... I’m begging you.”
It had only been two days, yet she was already pleading with him. The absence of his love hurt that much. Even this, she thought, meant she had endured far longer than she should have.
“....Is that why you called me out here?”
But Caiden showed no mercy. Her pleas did not move him.
“.....Ah...”
Unable to believe it, Asena looked up at him. Seeing his rigid expression, tears welled in her eyes. It was agonizing to receive such a cold look from the only person she had ever given a piece of her heart to. Only now did she truly feel how angry he was. She hadn’t known because she had avoided talking to him. She never imagined he would be this furious. The man who always returned whenever she pleaded had chosen not to forgive her this time.
Asena swallowed her tears once more and spoke quietly.
“.....Oppa... you said you didn’t like Daisy.”
. . . .
“.....Oppa... you said you didn’t like Daisy.”
I didn’t know how to react to Asena’s words. When she called me out, I thought, So it’s finally come to this. Hearing her apologize and beg me to stop only confirmed it. Her tearful expression tugged at my heart, but I had already decided not to let myself be swayed like a fool again. So I kept my face stern and asked if that was all she had to say.
Her answer was, Didn’t you say you didn’t like Daisy?
For a moment, I was stunned, unable to grasp the context. Then a quiet question formed in my mind. Why did Asena hate Daisy so much? Setting aside the fact that she had badmouthed me behind my back, it seemed she despised Daisy too. During the wasp incident, I had assumed she was embarrassed by my intervention, but now I wondered if there was more to it.
She hated Daisy—that was why she told me not to protect her. That was why she looked so betrayed now, asking if I hadn’t said I didn’t like her.
“....Oppa... I told you... you can’t be with Daisy...!”
She seemed so frustrated that I wondered if it was political, but my instincts told me otherwise. Since they had never explained the true nature of their relationship, I was completely in the dark about the political side of things. It was possible there was some clear reason why the Freister family couldn’t get close to the Hexter family. But Asena had never told me anything like that. So until I was convinced otherwise, I had no intention of distancing myself from Daisy.
That was my basic stance. Which meant I suspected Asena’s rejection of Daisy had nothing to do with politics. If there had been a valid reason, she would have explained it to me. Since she couldn’t, she was simply demanding I stay away without any justification.
I had no desire to accept that.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t give her flowers for that reason.”
“Oppa, do you really think that excuse will work? Are you pretending not to understand what giving flowers means?”
I let out a long sigh. Looking her straight in the eye, I asked plainly.
“.....Even if that were the case, what exactly would be the problem?”
“...........Huh...?”
“What’s so wrong about me getting closer to Daisy?”
“....Oppa... what are you saying?”
“Wouldn’t it actually help the family? Instead of blessing it, why do you hate it this much?”
“...Bless it? How could I bless it?”
“Why not?”
“.............”
“I don’t understand why Duke Freister is acting this way.”
. . . .
“I don’t understand why Duke Freister is acting this way.”
Asena couldn’t say a word. There was one crucial truth she was hiding, and without revealing it, she could never make him understand. A single sentence would justify everything she had done. I love you. Those words alone could make him understand. Not as family, but as a man—she saw her brother that way. If she could just say it, she could make him understand.
“......”
But she couldn’t say it. Even if she could convince him, she wasn’t prepared for what would come after. She was afraid of his reaction. She had never once shown any sign of those feelings. She had always loved him from the safe position of family. That alone had been enough to receive his love. So the thought of breaking that boundary now was terrifying.
What would he say? She couldn’t imagine a positive response. To the man who had always smiled at their antics as if they were adorable, who firmly believed they were family—if she confessed feelings she was never supposed to have... would anyone not feel repulsed? After kissing him on the cheek and forehead all this time, if she said she now wanted to kiss him on the lips, to tangle their tongues—would he understand? After sharing lazy naps and peaceful days together, if she said she wanted passionate nights in the bedroom, to have his child—would he accept it?
It might even push him further away for the sake of the family. After speaking with Grandmother Liana, he might leave. She wasn’t ready. She hadn’t yet revealed her deep, dark desires. She couldn’t bring herself to say it so suddenly.
Asena knew, even without experience, that a confession wasn’t about forcing one’s feelings onto someone. A confession was about confirming mutual feelings. It was expressing love only after both sides had sensed it, only when emotions could be exchanged. So she knew, without needing to be told, that speaking now while her heart raced ahead would lead to a bad outcome.
Her mouth stayed shut.
“.......”
She couldn’t say anything to convince him. She could only stand there like a fool, silenced by his rebuttal.
Caiden let out a long sigh.
“Honestly, I’ve been enjoying the small connections I’ve made recently.”
“.......Ugh..”
Asena clutched her academy uniform as her heart throbbed painfully.
“....But you keep interfering like this. It’s quite exhausting.”
“..........”
“.....For the time being, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t interfere with what I do.”
Caiden drew another line. Those words, sharp as a blade, pierced deep into Asena’s heart.
“...I’ll be going now, Duke Freister.”
After a brief nod, Caiden returned to the student council room. Asena felt as if the air had grown colder again. She stood there blankly, staring at the spot where he had disappeared. She felt like a fool for doing nothing, like a villain for wanting to push someone away without reason, and utterly pathetic for being left behind. Tears she hadn’t noticed streamed down her cheeks.
Once again, their reconciliation had failed. If anything, the distance between them had grown by another step.