Principle Above All (6)
Kirsi walked with a heart that had brightened, if only a little. Caiden still hadn’t treated her with the same familiar warmth as before, but he had given her a brief embrace and she had received his clear confirmation that he loved her. When he asked what she had done in bed, she had nearly died of embarrassment… but somehow she had managed to gloss over even that.
Kirsi swallowed hard. The act itself had been shameful from the start, but the fact that she had done such a thing while thinking of her brother… she had no idea what he would think if he ever found out. Kirsi knew her love was twisted. It was a love that should never be felt between siblings. If these feelings and actions were ever discovered, their relationship might grow even more distant than it was now. She would have to confess someday, somehow. But it was still too soon.
Even Kirsi herself had only recently been able to put a clear name to these emotions. Her love for him had always been the same, yet only now had she realized that this feeling was the love between a man and a woman. As she walked back toward the dormitory, Kirsi thought of Asena. Asena already harbored those deep, sticky feelings toward Caiden. Since they were the same kind of love, Kirsi could recognize it easily. One by one, Asena’s strange behaviors began to make sense. She finally understood why her sister sometimes acted so cruelly toward him, just as she herself had.
Kirsi felt uneasy. Even confessing her own feelings was overwhelming, yet Asena shared the same heart. If that were true, would she have to fight her own sister over him? The situation, where her rival in love had become her sister, still felt unreal. She didn’t believe she was better than Asena, but she didn’t want to lose, either. And… she still firmly believed that Caiden would love her more than anyone else. More than Asena. So for now, it would be all right.
Kirsi was gradually realizing just how many obstacles stood in the way of her love.
“...Ah…”
Just thinking about him made her chest tighten and her heart race. Kirsi sank down where she stood. Now she finally understood what this was. It was something that had appeared often in the stories of princesses and knights that Caiden had told her at bedtime when she was little.
Lovesickness.
Kirsi could finally recognize what it truly meant. After taking several deep breaths, she gathered strength in her legs and stood up again. She had no desire to run from the tasks before her. Her goal was to solve them one by one… and little by little, to gently reveal her heart and lower his wariness.
The night had already grown far too late. Kirsi carefully opened the door to the dormitory she had reached before she knew it and stepped inside.
Creak.
“.......”
“...Sister.”
What greeted Kirsi was Asena. She sat on the sofa with her legs crossed and arms folded, staring at Kirsi with a hardened expression.
“...Where have you been?”
She asked the question as if she already knew the answer. Kirsi could tell. So she didn’t reply.
“......”
“...So, what did Brother say?”
“...He’s still angry.”
Asena gently closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.
“...Haa…”
“...Sister… are you reconciling with Brother…?”
“......How can I reconcile when he ignores me all day long?”
“.......”
Asena clenched her teeth and forced the words out between them.
“...He… ignores… me…”
Both of Asena’s hands trembled violently. She could no longer endure her current state. After suppressing her rage for a long moment, Asena shot up from her seat.
“......Sister…?”
“...Rest, Kirsi. I have somewhere to go.”
“Where…?”
“.....”
Asena gave no answer. Leaving Kirsi behind in the dormitory, she strode out of the room.
Asena felt as if she would go mad with jealousy. Caiden, who wouldn’t speak a single word to her all day, drew a clear line and used polite speech with her. Yet with Daisy, he shared laughter and smiles as if they were the best of friends. Asena could not bear the sight.
In the past, she would have already taken some kind of action. But the more she did such things, the further she drove Caiden away. So now she had no choice but to etch every painful scene into her eyes while enduring the feeling that her blood was flowing backward.
Asena had made her own efforts. Because she still hoped Caiden would approach her first, she hadn’t gone to apologize… but she had lingered near him. She deliberately walked in his way, stared at him for long moments, and even stopped right in front of him as he passed. She sulked, looked sad, and showed her anger. Still, this time Caiden did not come to her.
He didn’t stroke her cheek and say, “All right. Let’s stop now. I don’t want to keep fighting.” Instead, he refused to even look at her and kept talking to other women. He left her completely alone while growing closer to other girls.
When he stood guard, it was with Daisy. When there were classes, it was with Judy outside. Their laughter rang through the hallways as if they were having the time of their lives. Because of that, Asena had lost count of how many quills she had snapped in half.
Asena sought out a certain woman and arrived at her dormitory room. The woman’s name was Shalon Pain. She was the second daughter of the Pain family, a vassal under the Freister house. The Pain viscount family had another name: Freister’s Dagger.
No one dared speak it aloud, but it was widely known that the Pain family carried out the Freister family’s dirty work. And it was no exaggeration. Every member of the Freister family and every member of the Pain family knew this truth.
The Pain family had been conquered by the Freister family hundreds of years ago. In exchange for sparing the lives of those who remained instead of wiping out the entire house, they had taken on all of the Freister family’s espionage activities. Over time, the Pain family had solidified their position as tools of the Freisters, and that role had continued even into the Academy.
When Asena knocked on the door, Shalon Pain appeared. This was the first time Asena had come to find her. But no explanation was necessary. Shalon understood her duty perfectly.
“...How may I be of service?”
Shalon asked Asena.
“...In the student council room… there is a small flower on Daisy Hextor’s desk. Remove that flower… and throw it away.”
“Will that be all?”
“...Yes. It may seem trivial… but it is important to me. Please make sure it disappears without a trace.”
Shalon nodded, then slipped past Asena and vanished somewhere. Just thinking that the flower would be gone made Asena feel as if she could breathe a little easier. The jealousy that had tormented her until a moment ago dropped a level. Asena felt no guilt over this act.
After all, even Caiden had asked Daisy if she shouldn’t throw it away since it had already withered. But Daisy had said she couldn’t bring herself to discard it. She didn’t know her place and kept clinging to Caiden. So Asena had decided to throw it away for her.
If she could, she would have crushed the flower with her own hands and thrown it away. But Asena knew that would be difficult, so she settled for simply making it disappear.
“......Haa…”
Asena let out a sigh and calmed her heart. At the same time, she thought of Caiden, who came to mind the moment she was still. How long would he continue like this? Only a single day had passed, yet Asena had already reached her limit. The only thing she wanted in this world was his warmth. When he treated her so coldly, it felt as if she had lost her place to stand in the world. This world without his warmth was unbearably cold.
And when she thought that warmth was directed at someone else, the jealousy became almost impossible to endure. Asena steadied her heart where she stood, then turned back toward her own room.
I yawned again today as I waited for Daisy. Because Kirsi had soaked the sheets, I had slept on the sofa and hadn’t gotten a proper night’s rest. My shoulders were stiff and my neck ached. I pressed on my collarbone and rolled my neck from side to side, loosening my body.
Just then, someone’s head peeked out from far away. A chuckle escaped me. It was Kirsi. When she saw my smile, her expression brightened considerably as she walked toward me.
“Brother…!”
But funny was funny, and this was something else entirely.
“Lady Kirsi. What brings you here?”
She swallowed a sharp breath at my tone. I hadn’t even told her that I would be speaking formally again starting today, yet she seemed to have been expecting something.
“...Brother… from today… again…”
“I never said that. That’s that. Please go back.”
“....Huh?”
“If you keep interfering with my duties, it becomes difficult for me as well. How am I supposed to act if you keep hovering in front of Daisy because of me?”
“.........”
She looked at me with a crestfallen expression. “......You spent the entire day with that woman yesterday.”
Was that a sulky face? Still, I didn’t soften easily. Instead, I relaxed the hardened expression I had been maintaining. When I looked at her with a face that said, Here we go again, Kirsi flinched and quickly corrected herself.
“....Ah… I… I understand… I’ll endure it again today.”
It was a good change. Since I would eventually have to leave them, perhaps it was right to grow distant day by day like this.
“...Please go back quickly. Daisy will be out soon.”
Kirsi reached out her hand. “Then… when can we meet today…?”
“I don’t know.”
“......”
She kept viewing the situation far too hopefully, so I poured cold water on her once.
“Lady Kirsi. My anger hasn’t even subsided yet. Why do you keep thinking only about when we will meet without ever asking my opinion?”
“......Huh…?”
“Did I forgive you without you even knowing?”
“....No… I just… Brother… I… I just want to be with you…”
“Go back. Now. I will not warn you again.”
Kirsi clutched her chest and turned away. With heavy, powerless steps, she walked away from me. Even on her way back, she kept glancing over her shoulder as if reluctant to leave. Every time she looked back, I gestured for her to hurry up and go.
She really was a wickedly cute girl. Did she think that if she acted adorably after doing something wrong, everything would be forgiven? Those days were over. Of course she was still cute… but that didn’t mean I would waver. Even though much of my anger had faded, I still wanted to keep some distance between us.
And then Daisy appeared.
“Good morning, Caiden.”
“Good morning, Daisy.”
We greeted each other with smiles and began our day.
Daisy entered the student council room after greeting him. Caiden followed her inside. Asena and Judy had already arrived. Asena rolled her eyes toward Caiden, but he didn’t spare her a single glance. If he had pushed even Kirsi away like that, there was no way he would treat Asena—who hadn’t even spoken to him yet—with any kindness.
Asena swallowed her pitch-black emotions and pretended nothing was wrong.
“....Huh?”
Daisy looked at her desk with confusion. The flower she had always smiled at was gone.
“..Where… where did it go?”
Only after the flower disappeared did Daisy realize how much she had liked it. That was why she hadn’t been able to throw it away even after it had withered. She searched her desk in a panic, but the flower was nowhere to be found. Lost, she turned to look at Caiden standing behind her. For some reason, now that the flower was gone, she felt too ashamed to meet his eyes.
Caiden immediately understood what she was searching for so desperately. That the flower was missing was obvious to anyone.
“...Um… by any chance…”
Daisy asked him carefully, her eyebrows drooping. Since he had suggested throwing it away the day before, it was a natural question.
“....It wasn’t me.”
Daisy’s face grew even redder. Not only had she failed to take good care of a gift from someone else, she had even asked the person who gave it whether he had gotten rid of it. While she was flustered, a cold voice rang out.
“...You should have taken better care of it.”
Both Caiden and Daisy turned toward the voice. Asena was speaking without even looking at them.
“...If it was such a meaningful flower, you shouldn’t have left it in the student council room, should you?”
“.....Asena… did you…”
At the question, Asena’s eyes lifted to Daisy.
“.....I left the student council room before you yesterday.”
“...Ah…”
Daisy remembered that fact as well. Asena had waited for Caiden outside, but he had ignored her, so even if she tried to forget, she couldn’t. In the end, Daisy turned back to Caiden. She lowered her head deeply and apologized.
“...I-I’m sorry… It was a gift.”
“......”
Contrary to what everyone had expected—that Caiden would easily forgive Daisy—he stopped and gave a flat response. Seeing him like that made Daisy blame herself even more. It seemed he, too, had placed a great deal of meaning on that flower.
Caiden rolled his eyes in thought for a moment, then spoke to Daisy.
“...Just a moment. Judy, I’ll leave Daisy with you for a bit.”
With that, he left the student council room. Asena watched him go, tasting a faint sense of victory beneath her stiff expression. It wasn’t enough to make her happy, but things seemed to have gone better than expected. Daisy stared blankly in the direction Caiden had gone, then let out a long sigh and sat down at her desk. She folded her arms on the desk and buried her face in them.
Asena didn’t like that behavior either. It looked as if she were depressed after disappointing someone she liked. It probably wasn’t that, but the reaction itself displeased her. Asena felt the urge to return the sense of deprivation she had felt from her.
“....Brother must be very disappointed.”
“.....Ugh…”
“Even though it was a gift given after winning the competition.”
“.....”
“Brother told you to throw it away… but it seems he didn’t really mean it.”
Bang!
At that moment, the door burst open. Caiden appeared, breathing hard. It hadn’t been long since he left. Seeing someone with his stamina panting like that, one could roughly guess how hard he had run.
Caiden walked toward Daisy with rough breaths. Asena’s eyes gradually widened. She had seen what he was hiding behind his back.
“...No…”
She whispered quietly. But Caiden did not stop. He stood in front of Daisy and pulled out the flower from behind his back.
“....Huh?”
Daisy drew in a sharp breath.
“Since you’ve thrown it away now, I can give you a new one. There are many of the same flowers blooming in the garden. Shouldn’t we enjoy them while they’re beautiful?”
This was the second time. This was the second time Daisy had received something Asena had never received from him, something she desperately wanted. Asena felt her heart freeze with a sense of defeat.
Caiden continued, “If you want, I’ll bring you one every day from now on. Don’t be so discouraged just because one disappeared. Flowers aren’t eternal anyway.”
He smiled. From a distance where she couldn’t reach him, Asena could only watch as Caiden smiled while giving another woman a flower. Why was he so kind? And why wasn’t that kindness directed at her? Every scene was slowly, painfully etched into Asena’s mind.