Everything Has Causality - Never Say "Peaceful" Lightly
Everything has causality. You shouldn't throw around the word "peaceful" lightly. Because even that single phrase can suddenly become foreshadowing. Let's look at some examples. After dropping a barrage of bombs and saying "Did we get them?" the enemy is guaranteed to still be alive. If you say "After this war ends, I'll confess my feelings," the person who said it will definitely die during the war. It's common sense now that cramming five thousand seven hundred characters into the writer means you'll get isekai'd into the story. And if you solemnly write "the calm before the storm" right before starting something, the whole thing will mysteriously crash and burn. Yes. These are all clichés.
The autonomous beast defense system I had created could be considered one perfect example of such a system. Using the war-criminal roe deer as the main labor force while commanding all beasts under the title of Mountain Lord. Any roe deer that became unnecessary could simply be processed into meat later.
Wouldn't Tony Stark be impressed if he saw this?
Thanks to that, I no longer had to struggle in the cafeteria and could just kick back and enjoy the sweet life. The only tiny problem was that I had casually uttered the word "peaceful." That was the mistake.
It was Friday. In the middle of practical combat training class, a woman suddenly barged in. A lizard beastman. A one-hundred-percent female lizard beastman, at that. Honestly I couldn't tell from the face alone, but the skirt made it clear.
If you're going to play the PC card, go bother Netflix instead of me.
The lizard beastman started searching for me the moment she arrived.
"Is Shinu here?"
"That's me?"
"Could you come with me for a moment?"
A sudden request to follow her. I had questions.
"Why?"
"The Academy President is looking for you."
"Do I really have to go?"
"Please. I'm begging you."
An unexpected summons from the Academy President. The vibe felt slightly off. I wasn't thrilled, but—
"Fine. Let's go right now."
"Thank you."
I decided to follow. I was curious why he'd called me, and above all, the lizard beastman's extremely polite attitude played a part in my compliance.
Following the lizard beastman, we entered the largest building in the academy. In a campus where every building looked identical, this one alone was excessively grand and luxurious. The lizard beastman guiding me said nothing beyond basic directions. After her initial request, she remained completely silent. That silence only broke once we reached the top floor.
"This is as far as I go. Please proceed this way."
The moment she spoke, the lizard beastman declared her role finished. She took the elevator down, and I walked in the direction she had indicated.
The top floor was bizarre. A vast open space containing nothing but a single door. The instant I opened it, an extravagantly luxurious scene that occupied the entire floor unfolded before me.
Looks like defense-contract corruption to me.
In the center stood an enormous desk and a chair turned away from me. Someone was sitting there. Even from behind, his massive frame was unmistakable. Sensing my presence, he slowly rotated the chair to face me.
My first impression upon seeing him was:
......Is that a pig bastard?
One of the few opinions Shinu and Piece genuinely shared.
His face was coated in oil so thick it looked vacuum-sealed. The opaque broth dripping beside that greasy face made me think it would deep-fry beautifully in an air fryer. For now I decided to classify him as human. At least he appeared to possess the basic trio of eyes, nose, and mouth.
The person looked at me and began to open the slit that served as his mouth.
"You're the student Kim Shinu?"
"Yes, sir."
"Come closer."
I approached the desk as instructed. He smiled at me.
"Nice to meet you. I am the president of this academy."
There was nothing particularly surprising about it. This place was already a lunatic academy. A pig holding the title of president wouldn't shock me in the slightest.
Fuck off.
The instant I drew close enough to examine the president's hideous face in detail—
"Where is my pet?!"
"...Pardon?"
The president suddenly twisted his features and snarled at me. In that moment, a memory surfaced. The kitchen staff who had been butchering the wild boar had been chatting. From what they'd said, the boar I killed had apparently been the president's beloved pet.
......So this is how it comes back around.
Honestly, the president's first impression was the absolute worst. Simply being near him already pushed the discomfort meter well past its limit. There was no reason not to kill him. But who was he? The Academy President, sitting at the very top. Not someone I could charge at recklessly. People reveal their weakness in front of power, and I was no exception.
I put on the most somber expression I could manage, collected myself, and spoke with extreme caution.
"Fuck, a pig bastard raising pigs. Is this academy a goddamn pig farm?"
I'm sorry. This is truly unfortunate.
Ah, fuck.
Hearing my words, the president began to tremble, unable to contain his rage. With every shudder, more oily broth poured down his face.
"Kuuuugh! You bastard!!!!"
Finally the president's fury exploded. He slammed both hands onto the luxurious desk and roared.
"Where is my pet, you Lebowski!!!!"
Pig bastard, you're spraying oil everywhere.
The president had already lost half his mind. His eyes were unfocused with hatred. Saliva dripped from his gaping mouth. The word "normal" could not be found anywhere in that sight.
Soon the president let out a scream.
"My small, adorable Cutie!!! Bring Cutie here right now!!!!!"
At this point words clearly wouldn't work. The only remaining option was shock therapy. Everyone learns about separation eventually, sooner or later. The president could learn it today.
I gave him the most wicked smile I could muster and casually tossed the item from my pocket onto his desk. It landed with a heavy thud, right in front of his hand.
"Your pet? Oh, you mean this?"
"Th-this is...!"
It was a bag containing something. With trembling hands the president opened it and looked inside. Tears immediately began streaming from his eyes. Those tears mixed with the oily broth, forming a small opaque waterfall.
The contents were nothing special. It was the hind leg meat from the wild boar I had promised to Elsia. That was all.
"It was too tough to eat. Completely ruined my appetite."
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The president started ripping at the few strands of hair on the sides of his head. His pores must have been impressively strong; despite his efforts, the hair stubbornly remained in place.
However, the shock was so great that he forgot his native language and began speaking only in the tongue of a certain island nation.
"Why are you laughing at me!!!"
"Ah... This is reality. That's all there is to it."
"I absolutely... I absolutely will not forgive you!!"
"Kuk kuk... It's useless. You're weak."
"Someday... I will definitely kill you!!!"
With those words the president clutched what had once been Cutie to his chest. Sobs followed. Since the president had just poured his soul into Japanese, I felt I should answer in Japanese as well. With the only Japanese I knew.
"Heh... Give it your best shot."
After that, the president began wailing loud enough to shake the heavens.
As I slowly walked out of the room, leaving the president behind, a single emotion suddenly hit me. Regret. It stopped my feet in their tracks and immediately made me spin around and run back into the room where the president sat.
But......
I flung the door open. The president's resentful gaze immediately locked onto me. Ignoring it, I walked slowly up to him. He said nothing, only continued shedding tears. I looked at him with pitying eyes, then reached out and took the hind leg meat that was clutched to his chest.
But...... I promised it to Elsia.
The president, not expecting my move, realized the meaning of his now-empty arms a moment too late. He immediately screamed and begged for the return of the hind leg meat.
"Give it back! That's my precious Cutie!!!"
"Kuk kuk. No can do."
When I refused, the president tried to snatch it back himself. For someone his size the movement was surprisingly fast, but the meat had already traveled too far. His hand merely sliced through empty air.
I sprinted for the elevator.
All incidents have been perfectly resolved!
The president needs to go on a diet. Tell him to eat chicken breast.
The moment I stepped out of the elevator, the lizard beastman who had been waiting spoke up.
"What did you discuss? There seemed to be some commotion from upstairs."
"No. The president is simply going through puberty right now."
"......Puberty?"
"He's having trouble accepting the separation. Go comfort him properly."
"Yes, understood."
The lizard beastman tilted her head for a moment, then simply said she understood. She gave me a polite bow as I left, then took the elevator back up. Since I had no further business, I left the building.
Look how warm I am to the people around me. Such a sweet guy, right?
Hey! Watch your language! That's misandry!
When I stepped outside, class had already ended some time ago. Since the president had called me, there would be no penalty. I headed straight for the cafeteria with light steps.
Right on time, I spotted Hye-ji and Elsia waiting for me.
"Hye-ji, where's Jung Ayeon?"
"She said she's doing closed-door training lately. She's not sure if she's normal anymore."
"In a one-eyed world, two eyes would be the abnormal ones."
"Husband! What about that meat?"
"I brought it. Here."
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"
I handed the hind leg meat I had secured from the president over to Elsia. But the moment she took it, she started sniffing with a wrinkled nose. Then she gagged.
"...This smells way too oily. Isn't it spoiled?"
"Wow, it absorbed the smell just from being hugged for a second?"
"Did you hug it, husband?"
"No. A boy learning the pain of separation was hugging it."
"Ugh... I can't eat this."
"Stupid girl, throw it away. It's filthy."
Cutie's final legacy—the hind leg meat—ended its journey at the food-waste bin. It was a clean ending that followed a poignant farewell.
Although the hind leg meat met its end inside a cold food-waste container, someday it would become nutrients for another life and bloom into a flower. Whether as animal feed or plant compost, the possibilities were endless. Someday that possibility would blossom beautifully. By then, perhaps even the president could look at those flowers and smile once more.
I like to think so.