30 Regressions? Isn't That a Rip-off Novel?
After wolfing down our meal—haphazardly, not with any weird sound effects—we headed straight for the auditorium. Even though the entrance ceremony hadn't started yet, the seats were already packed with people. Not everyone had black hair either; colorful locks dotted the crowd everywhere. At least this part felt like it belonged in a novel. Another noticeable detail was the surprisingly high number of women. In a way, that made sense. Thanks to the incompetent higher-ups, countless innocent people had paid the price, and in the process, far more men than women had been sacrificed. Given the military nature of things, they were far more eager to conscript men than women. The drastic measure taken to address the population cliff was none other than polyandry. Originally it had been polygyny, but these days? This was the era of political correctness. When they first proposed polygyny, they got beaten senseless for gender discrimination, so the current policy became polyandry. Of course, polyandry didn't change much. If anything, it was even crueler. After all, who in their right mind would want to be some asshole's first wife? "Me! I'm the legal wife!" "Wow, I'm jealous. Go get a bunch." You'd be better off as some celebrity's hundredth wife. Besides, getting tangled up with a woman required some kind of connection in the first place. In my case, I'd replaced high school with training, so the only woman I'd met was Hifumi waiting in the phone lobby. Aside from training camp, there weren't many people to meet at all. Why mention training camp? Because signing up for a gym right after discharge is practically national law. If you don't believe me, go to a gym right after discharge. Just not during the current situation. Of course, there were a few attractive people I'd met at the training camp. The kind who showed up consistently, greeted everyone brightly, and treated others kindly. They even acknowledged me every time they saw me and would casually touch my body during workouts while trying to show off their charm. I closed my eyes for a moment and pictured them. Then, because of one trivial problem that followed, I muttered gloomily, "Damn it, why the hell are they all muscle-obsessed old guys instead of women?"
Since I went to the training camp every day, I was basically just an NPC. Before I knew it, the old guys were practically forcing personal training sessions on me during every workout. When I did pull-ups, they'd lift my knees and shout "One more! One more!" By the time I came to my senses, they were already managing my diet too. The whole mess started when I clumsily tried to spot someone's bench press. I never expected to get wrecked by the veterans. Still, I was grateful they'd helped even though I was just some nameless rookie. The world was a scary place. It was the kind of world where people would just walk past even if someone called for help at night, where helping a stranger could get you in trouble. But still... why the hell were those old guys hiding out at the burger place? Stealing the fries out of my mouth was crossing the line. And they were seasoned fries, for fuck's sake. For some reason, the faint taste of seasoned fries lingered in my mouth today.
Surprisingly, the entrance ceremony ended in just five minutes. There was no opening speech, no songs, no academy history introduction—nothing. Someone just showed up, said "Good work," and that was it. Yep, this was definitely the Korean Academy. Asking people who spam the elevator close button to sit through a long ceremony? They'd all just run away. As soon as it ended, we received necklace-style ID cards proving we were academy students and followed the instructions to move on. We had to pick our dorms. According to the guide, dorms were one person per room by default. Bringing extra stuff wasn't a problem, and if you had money, remodeling was allowed. The guide also explained a few minor rules. Better dorms were given based on rank. Higher ranks could steal lower-rank dorms. If multiple people of the same rank wanted the same dorm, they'd decide the winner through a match. And this was only possible during this specific period. Dorm competitions usually involved straight-up brawls—nothing was more straightforward than a fistfight. Other methods included coin tosses, playing with paper tiles, or duels. Duels were the most dangerous. While everyone else was twisting their bodies fighting, some lunatic would show up with cards? That guy was the real deal. Once a dorm was decided, it couldn't be changed for a semester. That was why students who cared about their living space went absolutely feral during this period. ...This was the academy? No matter how you looked at it, it was just the animal kingdom. I didn't really care, so I just waited and picked whatever was left.
I stepped into the dorm where I'd be staying for at least one semester. My first impression was that it was a fully furnished studio apartment. Since there was no rank system, I automatically got assigned the Iron rank dorm. Still, I was grateful they hadn't crammed everyone into a single room like some logistics warehouse. If you weren't satisfied, you had two options: raise your rank or beat someone up and steal theirs. Typical PVP-loving academy. Who were Koreans, anyway? The kind of people who'd turn a bonsai game into a bonsai game. Even if you played a cactus-growing game, someone would shove growth supplements into it like crazy. - This is supposed to take 30 days to collect? Then I'll finish it in 3! - I don't even know what's good, so I just bought everything. - If the rewards don't change by rank, why risk your life? The business card color changes! But there's competition? Fine, bring it on. If you want to argue with this, go get in 10000 and earn the right to speak first. From 10001st place onward, you're buddies with 50000th place, so go sit your ass over there. After unpacking a bit, I got ready to head out again.
The first week was the dorm adaptation period. In other words, a time to do nothing but relax with no classes. There was a reason, of course. After this, until the semester ended, the only ways out were a death notice or suicide. ...Hadn't I heard something similar somewhere before? That's right, fuck. Military boot camp. I didn't know anyone and there wasn't anything in particular I wanted to see. So the moment I left the dorm, I headed for the library. I could've gone to the training camp to work out, but even in my last moments of freedom, I didn't want to be in that musty, sweaty place. As I walked for a while, one thought came to mind. Those efficiency-obsessed idiots must've designed this place. Why the hell did all the buildings look exactly the same? Was it for better load-to-comfort efficiency? I checked the fifth building, then the sixth. Of course, it wasn't the library again. Plus, the building names were written so small you could only see them up close. What did that mean? If you didn't know anything, you had to check one by one. This academy was seriously fucked. On my eighth try, I finally found the library. The exterior looked no different from the other buildings, but inside were wooden structures like you'd see in old libraries. What surprised me was that paper books and e-books were lent out in completely different ways. Paper books went through the librarian. E-books required connecting a cable to your device. Thankfully, the port was USB-C. The only shred of conscience this academy had was not using some proprietary standard. Since I preferred paper books, I approached the librarian to check one out. The librarian I spotted looked like the textbook definition of a literature girl. They say a cake that looks good tastes good too. With the expectation that a classic literature girl like her would handle the checkout properly, I approached. "Hello. I just enrolled today. Can I borrow books?" "You're a new student. Nice to meet you. Yes, you can start today. What kind of book are you looking for?" "I'd like a few books about ability awakening." "Ah, just a moment. I'll bring some over." She left briefly and returned shortly after with three books in her arms. - There Are No Bad Abilities in This World. - Monopolizing Abilities Alone. - Three Cool Words: Supernatural Ability, Awakening, Blooming. ...Every single one of them felt sketchy. Since worrying wouldn't help, I decided to just borrow them quietly. "The loan period is one week from today. If you want to extend it, come back within a week." "How many times can I extend?" "Only once. If you want to borrow again, you'll have to go through the full return process." "Got it." As I was about to leave the library, I suddenly wondered if there were any interesting novels and spoke up again. "Do you have any novel recommendations?" "Do you have any preferences?" "I don't care about the genre, but I'd prefer something that's complete." Suddenly the librarian approached me much more enthusiastically than before. Maybe because I'd stepped into her area of interest, her eyes sparkled with the desire to share the same hobby. "Then let me recommend a recently completed masterpiece!" "If it just finished recently, it must've been serialized for a long time, right?" "No, it went on hiatus whenever it could and somehow miraculously wrapped up at chapter 334! It's amazing!" Even with all those hiatuses, she was praising it this much? It was definitely worth reading. At least it didn't go on an orchard hiatus. "The way you're talking about it, it must be pretty charming." "It's truly a masterpiece! The king of consistent serialization, Lion Soul! Lion Soul is a god!" With that, the librarian left to fetch the book. As I watched her go, wondering what kind of masterpiece it was, a sudden wave of anxiety hit me. Wait a second. Was it BL? Don't tell me it was BL? That was justifiable homicide. While worrying about how I'd kill myself in the worst-case scenario, the librarian returned with what looked like a perfectly ordinary novel. But I still couldn't be sure. There were plenty of insane works out there that did sudden drifts. "Does it have any BL drifts or anything?" "No! Drifting is a sin. NTR deserves the death penalty." Thank god.... Now I just needed to know the title. "Can I see what book it is?" "Yes, here it is! 'Even 30 Regressions Is Fucking Insane.'" The moment I saw the book, I remembered. It was the greatest novel that had been insanely popular since the early days. I'd dropped it because of frequent hiatuses, but I could never forget the thrill of reading it for the first time. So it really had been completed. I had to admit it! At that moment, the forbidden words for anyone who liked this book flashed through my mind. My brain was screaming 'Please stop, you crazy bastard!' trying to hold myself back. But who was I? The kind of person whose mouth moved before the filter kicked in. Without a moment's hesitation, I blurted out the shocking statement. "Uh, but isn't this plagiarizing Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint?" For a moment, it felt like time had stopped. And in my vision, the librarian's expression had already changed completely. At some point she'd grabbed an enormous dictionary and was holding it high in the air. It was too big to even call a book. Massive, thick, heavy, and crude. It was literally an iron club made of paper. "You blasphemous bastard!!!!" "Huh?..." The book that had soared into the sky came crashing down in an instant. But that instant was more than enough time to smash something. Yeah. My head. -BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the loudest sound I'd ever heard in my life. No, it wasn't just auditory. It was a message delivered intensely through my ears and through my bones. It said it was going to kill me. The thunderous crash that echoed through the library was enough to draw everyone's attention. While everyone stood in stunned silence at the unbelievable sight, only the sound of papers fluttering around could be heard. And in the middle of it all, I uttered my final words. "A rip-off novel?" "Die!!!" The massive weapon slammed down on my head once more, creating a small echo. With that, I collapsed on the spot and my vision began to blur. But the librarian, as if this wasn't enough, loaded the weapon called a book above my head once again. "There's still one shot left." Those were the last words I heard. Lord, I'm coming soon.