The Abyss and Another Miko
Except for Elsia, the rest of us were on our way to the cafeteria after class for lunch.
"Young Master, what do you intend to do about Lady Elsia?"
"I don't know. Ignoring her feels too dangerous."
Indeed. If you ignore her, she'll awaken as a yandere who'll chase you for the rest of your life.
'That damn longevity trait is seriously overpowered. Needs a nerf, seriously.'
However, Hye-ji and Jung Ayeon seemed to interpret my fear for entirely different reasons. Naturally, since neither of them knew anything about Elsia's pre-regression circumstances.
"Is it because she's the World Tree's representative? With that kind of status, ignoring her would indeed cause serious trouble."
"Shinu, should I just go burn down the World Tree?"
"......You probably could, but wouldn't that start a war with the elves?"
Of course Hye-ji could do it. It would just mean war.
"Then why not burn all the elves who would start the war?"
"......This is still our academy novel, right? Not some apocalypse story?"
Hye-ji's solution was to erase the cause of the war itself. In a way, it was oddly reassuring.
Just then, we arrived at the cafeteria. The first thing we saw was Elsia running toward me, waving her hand. Her elven escorts hadn't been seen since the first day. They were clearly slacking off already. Not that it mattered—Elsia beamed brightly as she spoke.
"Husband! I have some top-secret information just for you today!"
"Oh my~ Our dear sister, are you finally telling us you've booked the funeral hall? I'll make sure to bring a generous condolence gift."
"Don't worry. My coffin won't be as flat as little sister Hye-ji's."
Hye-ji and Elsia were as lively as ever. Since Elsia had come looking for me with something to say, I decided to get back to the original topic.
"Anyway, what information?"
"You still don't know my body measurements, do you?"
"Please tell me."
"Kim Shinu, you crazy bastard, have you lost your mind?"
Hye-ji glared at me sharply. But this was genuinely important. No matter how scary Hye-ji was, I had to know.
"Listen carefully. My height is 5.74 feet, my weight is a secret, and my bust size in inches—guess by touch—"
"Hey, wait, what?"
I thought I must have misheard. But when Elsia repeated herself—
"It's embarrassing, but I'll say it again for you, Husband. My height is 5.74 feet—"
It proved I hadn't misheard at all. An unforgivable unit of measurement. Blood rushed to my head in an instant. And I wasn't the only one who couldn't tolerate it. Everyone except Elsia reacted the same way.
"Aaaaaagh!!!!! Get rid of that cursed unit!!!!"
"Is our sister actually insane? Inches? You're not using the metric system? Grandma's completely lost it."
"Lady Elsia. No matter what, this crosses the line."
Have you ever seen such a garbage unit!!
'Agreed. That's absolute trash-tier measurement.'
Elsia tilted her head in confusion.
"Oh my, why is everyone reacting like this? Isn't the metric system so common that it lacks rarity?"
"Shut up."
"Shut up."
"Shut it."
Be silent.
At that moment, a terrible memory I'd buried resurfaced. I remembered meeting the unicorns. According to them, they'd been trying to visit the elves but ended up in the wrong place.
"Elsia, have the unicorns ever visited your Great Forest or whatever it's called?"
"Yes! That's right! How did you know, Husband?"
I vaguely recalled that the unicorns used the metric system, while the elves had given distances in yards.
"......Did you guys give the unicorns distances in yards?"
"Yes, exactly. They showed up so late it was a hassle. Honestly, they can't even calculate distance properly."
"So you were the root cause. Fuck, seriously!!!"
In the end, this was why I'd become the God of Virgins.
Surprisingly, the reason was closer than expected.
'A sympathy punch, you pointy-eared bastards.'
Anyway, I had to stop her from using it now. We'd made mistakes until now, but it wasn't too late to fix them.
"Anyway, stop using that yard-pound system."
"Yards. Inches. Pounds. Feet. Such a magnificent system of measurement. You should understand it too, Husband."
"What the— Is the elf in front of me not a pink-haired elf but a redneck elf?"
She looks more suited to Texas than the Great Forest.
'She probably carries a double-barrel shotgun everywhere.'
Just then, someone called my name and came charging at me like a bullet. No—flying at me would be more accurate. And for good reason.
"Kim Shinu, you fucking bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Die!!!!!!!!!"
After a running start, she launched a flying kick at incredible speed. Despite her small frame, the kick was sharp and threatening enough to land a solid hit on anyone—if it had connected.
The kick missed its target and slammed into an innocent cafeteria pillar instead. Naturally, the kicker crashed to the floor after hitting the pillar. She looked as pitiful as a bird that had flown straight into an invisible window mid-flight.
The owner of the Hectopascal Kick (Missed) was the tabloid reporter and web novel author, Choi Daeun.
"Why the hell are you here, you bastard?"
"You! You! Because of you, my fucking novel!!"
"Lady Daeun! Don't tell me you actually followed that nonsense advice from back then?"
"Fuck! I! I fucking!!!"
It seemed she'd properly applied the three factors I'd mentioned. But I wasn't at fault. After all—
"I only gave advice. You're the one who actually did it."
"What are you going to do about it, you fucking bastard!!!!!!"
Because she was the one who'd actually carried it out. Choi Daeun grabbed me by the collar, her eyes blazing with fury as she glared at me. According to her, she'd meticulously applied all three web novel drop factors. Not through sudden drift, but through steady buildup and meticulous description, like sinking into a swamp. In the end, readers unknowingly stepped into a nightmare, like a mouse walking into a snake's open maw without realizing it.
As a result, comments like "What the hell is this chemistry T_T" had slowly started flooding the comment section. The BL drift had been a complete success. She'd also received countless long private messages from enraged readers—not 5,700 characters, but evolved 7,800-character messages.
Elsia, unaware of the details, simply watched the scene unfold. Meanwhile, Hye-ji, uninterested, yawned while waiting for us. But Choi Daeun still couldn't control her overflowing rage.
"Fuck! Fuck! You really ruined everything, you bastard!!!"
"Your private messages are longer than your actual novel."
"Lady Daeun! Calm down!"
"Calm down, my ass!!! Fuck, seriously!!! What are you going to do!!!"
"Alright. First, listen to me."
Choi Daeun slowly caught her breath. Her breathing gradually steadied, though her eyes remained filled with quiet killing intent—killing intent that had exceeded its capacity and was now burning.
"First, how many chapters did you ruin?"
"...About 45 chapters."
"You ruined quite a lot."
"She must've ruined a ton of daily releases. This novel's barely at chapter 45."
How did it even make it to chapter 45?
'I'm wondering the same thing.'
Choi Daeun suddenly dropped her head and let out a deep sigh. The shock must have been immense.
"The views are ruined too, damn it."
"You need to fix it first. Cut out the cancerous parts and rewrite with new content."
"......I already fixed everything, but I have no ideas left and I'm exhausted. It's too hard."
"Hmm, this lady will think for a moment."
She seemed to be suffering from burnout. In times like these, rest was necessary. And I had the perfect rest in mind for her. Jung Ayeon was busy thinking and wasn't paying attention to us. This was a golden opportunity I couldn't miss.
I quickly spoke to Choi Daeun.
"How about meeting other people to rest?"
"I don't have many people to meet."
"You don't need to meet in real life. Have you tried VR chat?"
Then the voice in my head shouted urgently.
My dear?! Isn't that the Abyss?! Are you trying to send another author there?!
'If someone's going to write BL about me, it's better to nip it in the bud.'
But Choi Daeun just tilted her head, hearing it for the first time. The fact that she didn't know about its existence was truly fortunate.
"What's that?"
"You can play simple mini-games in a virtual world, meet other people, and do all sorts of things."
"But do I have to use my real appearance?"
She seemed insecure about her looks. But I could dispel that worry in one shot.
"No. Since it's a virtual world, you can play as any character appearance you want."
"Really? Then is it possible to make a beastkin character?"
"Of course. And if you're lucky, you might even find material there."
Choi Daeun had finally taken the bait. She immediately started operating her phone, probably writing a notice.
"First, I'll post that I'm taking a two-week break and get started."
"Good thinking. Ah, the equipment might be a bit expensive."
"I make enough that it's not a problem, even if it's not a million-won kick."
"Stop with the clickbait, you crazy bitch."
"Anyway, thank you. I'll start right away as you suggested."
Choi Daeun, suddenly energized as if nothing had happened, stretched and gave a quick goodbye before rushing out of the cafeteria. Just then, Jung Ayeon, who had finished thinking and come to offer advice, arrived.
"Young Master? Where did Choi Daeun go?"
"I gave her some advice about resting, and she went to put it into practice right away."
Choi Daeun had already left. Jung Ayeon looked worried.
"...I feel a bit uneasy. What exactly did you do?"
"Nothing much. I just told her to rest for about two weeks and try VR chat."
Jung Ayeon instantly grabbed me by the collar.
"Have you lost your mind? Have you lost your mind? Have you seriously lost your mind? Why on earth would you recommend the Abyss of all places?!"
"No, how is that the Abyss? It's just a modern-day Matrix."
Jung Ayeon started going berserk. But Choi Daeun was already long gone.
"Don't be ridiculous!!! Do you know how many authors have gone missing after going there!!!!"
"This author will probably come back soon. Don't worry too much."
"Don't be ridiculous!! I don't want to see another miko ever again!!!!!"
"The way you say it makes it sound like I killed someone."
"You definitely killed someone! My precious author!!!"
In the end, having lost yet another author, Jung Ayeon collapsed weakly on the spot. Meanwhile, Hye-ji and Elsia were already eating together. They fought so much, yet ate so well. The story I heard afterward went like this:
The author who resolved the BL drift by killing off all the male characters suddenly announced a hiatus. During the break, they left a notice saying they would rest and gather material through VR chat. However, when the return date passed, there was no news at all.
Eventually, an expedition team was hastily formed to find the author in VR chat. Composed mainly of veterans and regressors who had escaped the Abyss. They called themselves the "Abyss Expedition Team," meaning those who would navigate through the abyss.
The expedition's journey was not smooth. But after many twists and turns, they found a character presumed to be the author in the beastkin area. However, it was too late. The author had already been deeply tainted by the Abyss. Having lost their humanity, they had even forgotten how to speak. They only repeated "Aaaaaah" over and over. It was enough to break the expedition team's will.
In the end, by majority vote, the expedition gave up on bringing the author back to the original world. Instead, they decided to live a second life with the author inside the Abyss. That was the end of the expedition team's story.
If you ever travel through the Abyss, remember this: Never stop moving toward a clear goal. If you hesitate even a little, the Abyss will swallow you whole.