The Legitimate Wife is Elsia
The classroom was empty. In that deserted space, only Elsia and I remained, each expressing completely opposing intentions. She was determined to go through with it. I was dead set against it. But Elsia was faster.
"It'll be over in no time, husband. Here I go♡."
"Stop it!!!!!"
"Ah~~♡. It's in♡."
"Wh-why..."
The emotions that followed were polar opposites. I sank into deep despair. Elsia basked in pure bliss. At that exact moment, Hye-ji and Jung Ayeon walked into the classroom.
Jung Ayeon wore a look of pure shock as she questioned us.
"Young Master Shinu? Lady Elsia?"
Hye-ji's reaction was entirely different. With utterly dead eyes, she spoke in a voice that could freeze blood.
"What the hell are you two doing?"
Whether they spoke or not, I felt tears welling up. Elsia, on the other hand, looked positively delighted by their arrival.
"Fuck..."
"Oh, my sister is here. Look at this♡."
Elsia spread her hands wide in a grand gesture.
"Hey, hey! Hey! What the hell is this?"
"It's exactly what it looks like♡."
"Ugh.... No..."
To explain this situation, we have to go back a little while.
"Husband! You trust me, right?"
"......How long have we even known each other for you to ask that?"
"From the moment I first laid eyes on you, husband, I trusted you completely!"
After all the classes had ended. Jung Ayeon and Hye-ji had stepped out briefly to submit their application to use the Dueling Arena. I was waiting for them in the classroom when, as expected, Elsia showed up right on schedule.
Ever since that first day, she appeared without fail during lunch and after every class. I could have just ignored her, but the word "cut-" from the regression I had witnessed kept flashing through my mind. I was too terrified of what might happen to treat her coldly.
'That definitely means cutting something off, right?'
Yes. I don't know which part, but there's no safe part of the body to cut off.
'Fuck. Why the hell is a yandere route opening up?'
Judging by her behavior, it appears to be because you keep rejecting and ignoring her.
The fact that she came every single day also meant she ran into Hye-ji every single day. Naturally, the two of them would growl and fight whenever they crossed paths. Each time that happened, Ayeon and I would shrink into the background and quietly discuss various books and stories.
That was the usual scene. Therefore, rare moments like today—when it was just me and Elsia alone—were few and far between.
"Anyway, what is it? What's this about?"
"Husband, how much would you be willing to invest in me?"
"What are you talking about? You mean money?"
"Yes! Exactly! I'm making an investment but I'm short on seed money, so I was wondering if you could help me out."
"Give me a second to think."
"Of course! I'll wait as long as you need!"
There's a saying that among stock investors, the absolute worst are elves. They can pick up literal trash among stocks and still come out fine. With their long lifespans, they can hold positions until those companies grow into major corporations.
Of course, not all elves are like that. Some of the older ones have such a warped sense of time that even several decades feel short, which becomes their downfall. As a result, they often hold too long and end up with delisted stocks that become over-the-counter shares.
Thinking about stocks suddenly reminded me of something. I had once considered having someone else make purchases on my behalf. After all, while I couldn't regress, others could.
But I quickly abandoned that idea.
'Surprisingly, regression doesn't apply as well to coins and stocks as people think.'
That's correct.
'Even companies that are supposed to rise for sure in the future collapse multiple times.'
Probably because the sheer number of regressors creates too many variables.
Just a few days ago, I had seen several faculty members clutching their heads while staring at their phones. From the way they muttered, "It was definitely supposed to go up!!!" it was clear the future they had regressed to was completely different. The stock graphs had become utterly bizarre, all thanks to the variables created by countless regressions.
Since I couldn't regress anyway, I simply observed the graphs from the sidelines. If I had been a stock investor, those graphs would have made suicide look like the smarter option. Sure, some people profited according to the "winners win" rule, but I had never once met anyone who actually made money from stocks through regression.
'Most people around me can only regress short periods into the future anyway, and above all, they don't invest.'
They must be people with very sound mindsets.
I shook off my idle thoughts and stared directly at Elsia. The moment she noticed my gaze, she placed a hand on her cheek and twisted her body shyly. Honestly, her appearance was breathtakingly beautiful. But the image of her from before the regression kept flickering in my mind, making her genuinely scary. Still, since she was asking for an investment, I decided to trust her.
'She's still young, so she'll probably pull out before it gets delisted, right?'
If you think positively, that could be the case.
'Alright. All-in on the investment. Starting today, I'm stock tycoon Kim Shinu.'
I opened the banking app on my phone and began transferring money to Elsia. Everything I had saved, minus this month's food expenses.
Husband? You're giving her all of that money?
'It'll be fine.'
The amount was substantial, so even Elsia looked shocked.
"Really? All this money at once?"
"Elves are good at stocks, right? I'm not too worried."
"Of course!! Yes!! Don't worry!! Just trust me, husband!!"
But I really shouldn't have.
"Then I'll put it in right away♡."
"Huh? Isn't the market already closed?"
"Ah! This is something different!"
What Elsia showed me was—
"Hey! This isn't stocks, it's a fucking coin!"
"No! This is for raising goats!"
"Fuck! Stop with that penthouse elf bullshit!"
Because it was the one coin exchange you should never, ever touch.
"No! Absolutely not this! A second Shapi is not allowed!!"
"Oh my~ husband. A good husband shouldn't object so strongly to his wife's decisions."
Unfortunately, despite my desperate pleas, my attempts to stop Elsia were futile. At some point, the butterflies she had manifested with her power had completely bound my body.
In the end, all I could do was glare with my eyes wide open and scream.
"Let me go! Fuck!"
"It pains me too, but this is all for your sake, husband."
"It's not too late! Stop!"
"Husband~. Then I'll put it in♡."
And so we circled back to the beginning.
"So the reason you're making that face, Shinu, is because of that?"
"Yeah. Fuck, she dumped everything into some shitcoin."
"Oh my~ husband. It's not like that."
"Then what is it?"
I glared at her fiercely, but Elsia didn't seem to care in the slightest. She suddenly shoved her phone screen toward me.
"This is the fruit of our love. Look. I even named the goat 'Elf,' which suits me perfectly, right?"
"....Why the hell is the graph blue right after you bought it, you bastard."
It's descending almost vertically. Hold on tight. It's going down further.
'Even bungee jumping would be slower than this, fuck.'
Jung Ayeon's face turned deathly pale. Just like the Elf Coin graph.
"Lady Elsia...... Is the loss rate this one is seeing correct?"
"Oh dear, it seems our goat is sick. I'll have to put everything in for the goat's medicine."
"Hey! Fuck no! If you put that in too, we're completely screwed!!!"
My desperate cry became nothing but empty background noise. Elsia had already dumped in every last bit of the remaining money.
In the end, there was only one thing left to do. With both eyes wide open, I could only helplessly watch as all the money vanished.
"Ah~♡. I put it all in♡."
"Fuuuuuuuck."
At that moment, Hye-ji and Jung Ayeon quickly spoke up. Just in case.
"Young master. As pitiful as it is, I cannot lend you any money."
"Shinu, I'm really sorry. I spent a lot on other things this time, so it's hard for me to lend you anything either."
All I could do was sigh. At least that was free.
"Fuck. My money."
"Husband. Don't worry too much. 'Elf' will recover soon."
"Take a look for yourself. Doesn't it look like it's about to fall off life support?"
"......"
"......"
A brief silence fell. Then, for the first time, Elsia showed a hint of panic.
"Husband? Did we get into serious trouble?"
"...Now you want to sell? So you're the selling elf after all."
"......What should I do? I've never seen a situation like this before."
"Should I just kill myself."
The blue line tracing a vivid trajectory as it plunged straight down. That was what my tear-filled eyes saw. The slope only grew steeper.
Truly merciless. The more I looked at the graph, the more it felt like my heart was falling alongside that line.
The moment I unconsciously let out a sigh—
"Fuck... I never should have trusted a selling elf."
"Oh! Young master, you know that novel as well?"
Jung Ayeon suddenly perked up.
"As expected, since you read books, you must have already mastered a masterpiece like Dumping the Primary Wife."
"I know it well. Dumping the Primary Wife is the greatest novel. It's no exaggeration to say it single-handedly kept Novelpia alive."
"That's right. Among all novels up until now, Dumping the Primary Wife is easily one of the most successful, I believe."
"Dumping the Concubine had more than enough potential to succeed like that and then some."
"......"
"......"
Somehow, the things we were saying were slightly off from each other. I needed to set the record straight.
After a moment of silence, I spoke first.
"The legitimate wife is Elsia."
"The legitimate wife is the elf."
As expected, Ayeon was a Kanpu fan. She needed to be educated on the proper subject.
"Shut up. What would a Kanpu fan know about the primary wife? You should be grateful to even be a concubine."
"Shut your mouth. For a mere concubine, you certainly have a lot to say."
"Come at me, fuck."
"Very well. I shall dispatch you instantly."
When words fail, you naturally have to communicate with your fists. The moment we received approval for the dueling arena, Ayeon and I immediately started fighting.
Outside, Hye-ji and Elsia waited. Hye-ji watched with a cold, disgusted look. Elsia was busy creating a pitiful scene over the endlessly plummeting coin graph.
Hye-ji's gaze kept stabbing at my heart. Like she was calling me an idiot.
But there are fights in this world that you absolutely cannot avoid. Just like this one.
This body supports the legitimate wife is Elsia faction as well! Do your best!
'That's fortunate. If it was the Kanpu faction, I was going to show her the grandma.'
.....Since you only believe in the legitimate wife is Elsia faction, please spare me.
Unfortunately, my match against Jung Ayeon ended in a draw. She really had grown. Unlike before, she smashed through everything using physical reinforcement, whether summons or otherwise. But at the very end, I misjudged my control and my left arm exploded. What followed was a bit messy, but the result was a double KO.
"You have certainly become much more difficult to handle than before, young master."
"Of course it should be that way. This is the first time we've fought properly, isn't it?"
In truth, this was my first time fighting Jung Ayeon head-on. For a first attempt, it wasn't bad at all.
"Is this because you learned from the Heavenly Demon?"
"That's why I told you to learn together."
Suddenly, Jung Ayeon's face turned ghostly white. As if that was the one thing that must never happen.
"Please spare me. Anyway, if you fight that well, there won't be any upset victories."
"....At least normal odds, right?"
"Wouldn't no one bother watching anymore from the start?"
"........How the hell am I supposed to make money now?"
"........Hang in there."
The light of the setting sun began to spill across the sky. Even though it wasn't dawn. A single dewdrop that had formed from nowhere slid down my eye.