VS Black Dragon, No, Black Lizard (1)
"You're using something quite dangerous for your level." Just as I was about to fire the Cheonma Laser, the Black Dragon—whose number had already risen above its head—pushed my hand aside with its left hand. It wasn't a full deflection, just a light shove, but that was enough. The meteor that had been aimed to finish Rick in one blow veered slightly off course and only grazed his left shoulder. For Rick, it was an incredible stroke of luck. For me, it was the kind of misfortune I didn't want to think about.
[You moved like you already knew.]
'This pet is seriously annoying.'
The Black Dragon didn't let go of my wrist until I landed on the ground. While I struggled to break free from its grip, the Black Dragon turned its gaze solely toward Jeong Siyun.
"With so many spectators around, shouldn't you at least put up a barrier?"
"......"
Jeong Siyun simply stared without saying a word, no matter what the Black Dragon said. Only then did Rick, who had finally come to his senses, shout at him in a panic.
"R-Right! Hurry up and set up a barrier around us!"
"Understood."
At Rick's command, Jeong Siyun finally moved. He waved his hand through the air, and white mana sluggishly followed the trajectory of his hand half a beat late. Soon, a transparent white dome-shaped barrier began forming around me, Jung Ayeon, Rick, and the Black Dragon.
Watching this, the Black Dragon spoke to Rick with admiration.
"As expected of this body's master. To make that mage, who wouldn't even acknowledge this body when spoken to, so obedient."
"O-Of course!"
Rick stammered slightly as he boasted, his eyes looking somewhat uneasy.
Once the barrier was fully formed, Rick shouted at Jeong Siyun again.
"And you'd better prepare plenty of potions too."
"Very well."
"Because,"
The moment Rick heard the reply, he gathered blue mana into his wand. His sinister laughter followed.
"If you don't want to clean up corpses on such a joyous day!"
Before I knew it, the tip of Rick's wand was pointed at me. I was still trapped in the Black Dragon's grip and couldn't break free.
"Pierce."
The moment Rick's chant ended, the blue mana gathered at the tip of his wand shot toward me. At that instant—
"Begone!"
An eagle summoned by Jung Ayeon slashed past Rick's hand. Because of that, the magic that should have flown at me instead headed straight for the Black Dragon.
"You're doing something troublesome."
The Black Dragon dodged Rick's magic with a bored expression. It tried to throw me toward Jung Ayeon, but—
Crunch!
"Huh?"
"Your horns are sturdy, right?"
I grabbed one of the Black Dragon's black horns. Only then did the Black Dragon realize what I was doing.
"I sure hope they're sturdy!"
"What kind of novel protagonist grabs a woman's hair and throws her around?!"
"That's me, you bastard."
In the brief moment I was airborne, I grabbed the Black Dragon's horn and slammed it into the ground using only the strength of my waist. The moment I landed, I delivered a powerful kick to the side of the Black Dragon sprawled on the ground. As the Black Dragon was sent flying from my kick, I chased after it while shouting urgently at Jung Ayeon.
"I'll handle the lizard's hierarchy, so take care of the parasite!"
"Understood! Leave this place to me!"
And so, a one-on-one matchup formed between me and the Black Dragon, and between Rick and Jung Ayeon. The Black Dragon swung its fist at me the moment it got up. The punch was quite sloppy, so I tried to block it casually, but—
[That one will be dangerous if it connects!]
'Damn it, say something that important a few sentences earlier!'
Thanks to Piece's urgent warning, I quickly pressed my body to the ground and slid out of the punch's trajectory. A small shockwave erupted where the Black Dragon's fist had been aimed—right where I had been standing just moments ago.
'......I almost died.'
[Its power is certainly sufficient.]
As expected of a dragon, its physical abilities were overwhelming. Seeing that I had dodged, the Black Dragon looked surprised.
"This body is still a young adult and lacks experience, but you're quite impressive for a human."
"If you're a young adult, does that mean you don't need potty training?"
"I finished that ages ago!!!!!!"
The Black Dragon tried to kick me, so I quickly sprang to the side and struck its jaw. It was a kind of somersault kick.
Smack!
"Urgh!"
It really was a young adult—its durability seemed relatively weak compared to the power behind its own punches. Even though it wasn't a clean hit, it still let out a groan.
[Come to think of it, it didn't bother dodging the magic earlier either.]
'All-in on damage output, huh.'
Anyway, as long as my attacks worked even a little, I had a chance. Most of the Black Dragon's attacks were sloppy. That meant I could dodge everything and slowly wear it down. The problem was—
"Split apart."
"Kuh!"
Jung Ayeon's side had terrible compatibility. Every time Rick chanted, Jung Ayeon could only block the attack with her summons at best. The exchange rate was so bad that she had to sacrifice multiple summons per chant. Even when she tried to attack—
"Begone."
Her attacks were blocked far too easily. It wasn't just the power of Rick's chants. The fundamental issue was that her summons had relatively low durability. Defeat was only a matter of time. Noticing that I was watching, the Black Dragon sneered.
"Hah! Worried about that girl?"
"She'll manage."
The Black Dragon kept its eyes fixed on me as it pointed toward our group.
"Pretending to be calm won't work! Your comrades are all worried too, aren't they?"
"Worried about what?"
"Huh?"
Only then did the Black Dragon turn its gaze toward our group. They were all sitting in beach chairs that had appeared out of nowhere right next to Lilith, each wearing sunglasses and eating hamburger sets. Seeing this, I exploded in anger.
"Hey! If you're gonna eat, eat Jung Ayeon's share, not mine!"
"We already ate that!"
"Good job."
"Good job my ass! Lady Elsia, eat in moderation!"
Jung Ayeon, who had paused mid-fight, whipped her head around and protested. Even Rick, finding the situation absurd, stopped attacking and just watched in silence.
"Shinu, finish up quick. I'll save you some cola."
"If you don't come soon, the fries will be mine."
The Black Dragon asked me with an awkward expression.
"......Are they really your comrades?"
"Shut up."
Meanwhile, Jung Ayeon shouted at me urgently, as if the fight had gotten intense again.
"Young Master! Are you not done yet?"
"You know you've become incredibly useless as the novel progresses, right?"
"Just shut up and come help already!"
[It seems heroines get rather poor treatment in this novel.]
'The protagonist treatment is already screwed beyond repair.'
Then, noticing the Black Dragon right in front of me, I decided to ask something I'd been curious about.
"Hey, lizard. Let me ask you something."
"It's Black Dragon!!! So what is it!"
I spoke with a deadly serious expression.
"When you guys get pregnant, do you lay eggs or give birth to live young?"
"Just die already, please."
In an instant, the Black Dragon closed the distance and threw a punch. But it was still very sloppy. I dodged the punch and drove a deep body blow into its left side.
"Kuh! Not yet!"
Despite groaning in pain, the Black Dragon didn't stop. It tried to grab my arm with its left hand while kicking at me with its right foot. At the same time, its tail swung from the opposite side, pressuring me from both directions. Its attacks were sloppy yet powerful, reflecting its mindset that one solid hit with overwhelming strength would be enough. However, human fights aren't all about power. As Aunt Camille said, without precision, you're nothing but a brute. I stepped on the Black Dragon's left thigh and leaped up, grabbing its horn.
"Time for some hierarchy enforcement."
"Stop—"
Smack!
I drove a knee kick deep into its face. The moment I pulled my knee away, I raised my right arm and slammed my elbow into its crown several times. Then, before the dragon could grab me, I pushed its head away with a kick and created distance.
The Black Dragon clutched its throbbing head and roared at me.
"You insignificant worm, running your mouth since earlier!"
"You bitch, my jokes don't land at all."
At that moment, the Black Dragon wiped the pained expression from its face and smirked. It had looked like it was in considerable pain just seconds ago.
"Hah! You're talking about humor? This body knows a thing or two about real humor."
"Wait. Damn? Why do I feel uneasy?"
It looked genuinely excited that its field of expertise had finally come up. At that moment, a warning of a different kind rang in my head. I needed to shut this lizard's mouth. However—
The Black Dragon was faster to open its mouth.
"What do you call a dragon that goes to church?"
"Hey, don't say it. Please."
"It's 'unused'!!! Hahaha!!! Isn't that hilarious!!!"
"You bastard. Please, seriously."
The atmosphere instantly turned cold. The novel was on the verge of becoming unbearably unfunny because of this terrible dad joke. Most of the people who heard it wore displeased expressions. Of course, not everyone.
"Ahaha! Oh my stomach hurts!"
"Ohoho! That's too funny!"
"My! I never expected such a sophisticated joke!"
A few of the succubi were clutching their stomachs and laughing. Of course, the price was harsh. They had to endure the cold stares from the rest of the succubi.
"Sister... how old are you actually?"
"Last time you told me we weren't friends, but 'peers.'"
"No wonder you had trouble using the kiosk."
"You get sensitive whenever you hear the word 'rejuvenation.'"
The succubi who had been laughing at the dad joke began frantically denying it.
"What are you saying! We're all MZ generation! Perfect peers!"
"No! My little sisters! This sister is only one year older than you!"
"Yes. One century older, probably."
"T-That was just to match the Great Mother's level!"
"Call that child separately. I shall deal with her personally."
Lilith seemed angry at the last remark and pointed at one succubus in particular. Meanwhile, the Black Dragon let out a hearty laugh, looking pleased with the cold reactions around it. This was dangerous. A formidable enemy threatening the survival of the comedy tag had appeared.