Is This the Brown Cup or What?
"W-wait! Fuck!"
Only now did Rick truly grasp the power of the magic. But once opened, that mouth couldn't be closed again.
"You will become aware of swallowing saliva as well."
"I was wrong!!!"
"You will become aware of every breath you take in and out."
"Stop!!!!!!!!"
The magic's effect was undeniable. Those who ignored my warning and didn't cover their ears began writhing, screaming in agony all at once.
"How did my eyes just blink! No! Stop!"
"I suddenly feel like I have to swallow! This is weird! It doesn't feel like my body!"
"Kyaaaaak!!! I feel like I won't be able to breathe anymore!!! Save me!!!"
Even the Black Dragon and Spencer weren't exceptions.
"This is a curse! It's worse than any black mage I've fought in the past!!!"
"You demon bastard!!! Did you really have to do this?"
Rick began pleading with me amid the horrific scene.
"Please! Please, I was wrong, so stop!"
"Kukuk. Not happening."
I continued casting the magic.
"Where is your tongue positioned right now?"
"I don't know! Don't ask!!!"
Rick was jamming his fingers into his ears hard enough to pierce them. But there was no escaping the magic, since I was forcibly prying his fingers away.
"Is your pupil's default position correct right now? Where was the original default?"
"I told you to stop!!!"
"How did you used to fall asleep again?"
"Please stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Deciding this was enough, I stopped the magic, only for Piece to roar at me.
[This is just black magic, isn't it!]
'As long as it works, that's all that matters.'
I checked on the others who had heeded my warning. Hyeji, Ayeon, and Lilith had kept their ears firmly covered, so they wore puzzled expressions at everyone else's strange reactions. Thankfully, they hadn't been affected. However—
"Aaaah!!! Husband!!! That's too much!!!"
"Fuck."
Elsia was the exception. She'd apparently removed her hands out of curiosity midway through. As a result, she was paying the price in full. I approached her.
"You crazy bitch! I told you to cover your ears!"
"I got curious and lifted them a little, and now I'm screwed!"
"Fuck, seriously."
Of course, Jeong Siyun showed no reaction whatsoever. He truly looked like a lifeless doll. It took a bit more time for everyone to calm down.
***
Once everyone had escaped the magic's influence and things settled into a lull, we finally decided to start the fight. Before beginning, there was the most basic thing to do. With Rick raising his wand, I clasped my hands together and bowed my head slightly.
"Domo! Mebung=sang. Academy Slayer Day—"
"Burn."
Before I could finish, Rick completed his chant and hurled a fireball at me. A summoned beast materialized by Ayeon to block the incoming flames.
"Are you alright, young master?"
[How dare he commit such a vile act during the sacred Isatsu!]
'This bastard wants to die.'
I gestured to Ayeon that I was fine and shouted at Rick.
"You fucker! It's not even an ambush, so why the hell are you pulling this shit?!"
"The battle has already begun."
Rick spoke calmly, his expression cold unlike before. Seeing this, Spencer shouted as if taking his side.
"You arrogant bastard—!!!"
"Shut it!!!!!!"
I barked the rebuke at Spencer. At that moment, someone from the succubus group suddenly dashed out. She was a rather short and petite succubus, yet possessed a voluptuous chest. The petite succubus glared at me with a terrifying expression and shouted.
"Pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In an instant, the battle atmosphere vanished, replaced only by awkwardness. Unable to understand, I asked the petite succubus.
"W-what did you just say?"
"It's pink, not brown!!!"
The petite succubus swung her fists wildly, looking furious.
"Miss Spencer's isn't some dull brown—it's a lovely pink like cherry blossom petals!"
"No! You crazy bitch! This is supposed to be all-ages!!!"
Spencer, having heard this, turned bright red instead of pink. Then she screamed at the petite succubus.
"Shut your mouth! Fuck!!! Don't say it!!!!"
Of course, ignoring Spencer's words entirely, the petite succubus strode toward me. Grabbing my shoulders tightly, she spoke with the most serious expression imaginable, as if declaring something of utmost importance.
"Listen carefully! Miss Spencer's top and bottom are exactly #FFA5DC—"
But the succubus's words never reached their end. Spencer had opened a book in her right hand and extended her left toward the petite succubus while chanting.
"Shut your mouth and pass out!"
"Kyaaht! Pink Beam!"
A pink beam shot from Spencer's left hand and struck the succubus's abdomen. The petite succubus let out a short moan before collapsing on the spot, unconscious. A vivid womb tattoo appeared on her abdomen where the beam hit—truly succubus-like. Meanwhile, Lilith, still flushed with anger, offered an apology to the fuming Spencer.
"I'm sorry. Some of the children are sensitive to that sort of thing."
"......Please be more careful next time."
Piece murmured to me after witnessing the scene.
[She must be a Mabinogi player.]
'Her color coordinates are spot on.'
Elsia, unwilling to lose, shouted at me.
"Husband! I won't lose either! My color coordinates are #FFC3F—"
"Shut the fuck up, you damn elf!"
"That hurts!!!"
Hyeji kicked Elsia's shin to cut her off. We all wore awkward expressions before deciding to resume the fight.
"Shall we start?"
"......Understood."
Rick cleared his throat and composed his expression. Then, with a dignified face once more, he spoke to me.
"I will say it here. I cast magic by imbuing meaning into three-letter words."
"Brother! Why would you say that?!"
"It's only natural that I win anyway."
Come to think of it, Rick had just cast magic with only the three letters of "Burn." That meant he was trickier than Spencer, who needed eleven letters.
[It would be best to assume interrupting the chant is impossible.]
'This is bullshit.'
Meanwhile, Rick made an exaggerated gesture and pointed his wand at me. It was as if he were reenacting some ancient noble tradition. He also looked like a mage defying the times.
"Hear me! You vile dog dares to crawl up here! Even the birds would laugh at your pathetic state! Crawl around with your own kind at your level!"
I tilted my head at the random poem that came out of Rick's mouth. Then Rick sneered at me.
"It means 'you dog bastard.'"
It didn't really sting, but it did sour my mood a little. Piece seemed to feel the same and urged me to retaliate.
[Show him that you are the crazier bastard!]
'Can't let this slide.'
Stopping here would obviously lead to a frustrating outcome. 'Ah, the protagonist is such a pushover. I'm dropping this.' That point was absolutely unacceptable. I cleared my throat as well and manifested a two-handed sword of mana in my right hand. Pointing the tip at Rick, I spoke.
"Listen well, you bastard. Suddenly, you disappeared. It felt like you'd return any moment, but you didn't. Finally, I realized—you were never there to begin with."
Rick's face showed he didn't immediately understand what I meant. I smiled as viciously as possible.
"Your mom. You fucker."
"You son of a bitch!!!"
Taking advantage of Rick's emotional reaction, I used my mana-enhanced legs to close the distance to him in an instant. Gripping the two-handed sword with both hands, I thrust it with all my might toward his abdomen.
"B-block it!!!"
—Clang!!!
Just centimeters before the sword tip touched Rick's abdomen, a thin blue barrier created by his chant blocked my blade's path. Here, I considered two possibilities. As a mage, he would likely try to create distance. Either push me away or run.
[Which do you think he'll do?]
'Probably the former.'
Meanwhile, Rick chanted to put distance between us.
"Get away!!!"
—Bang!
A shockwave burst from Rick's body, attempting to push me back. But I had already anticipated this. Before Rick chanted, I had retrieved the two-handed sword and embedded it deeply behind me. Then, gripping the hilt in reverse with my right hand, I hung from it and pressed my feet against the flat of the blade, crouching down. At the same time, I began condensing mana into my left bracelet and left palm. Just then, the shockwave erupted from Rick. Hanging crouched from the two-handed sword, I withstood the blast. A brief pressure on my body. The moment I felt freedom again, I pushed off with both feet and launched myself toward Rick.
"Insane!"
Rick's face filled with shock, as if he hadn't expected me to endure it. Meanwhile, the mana condensation in my left hand still wasn't complete. I needed a little more time. To buy that time and vent some frustration, I began reciting a poem. Simply returning "your mom" earlier hadn't been satisfying enough.
"Tear—"
"You should apologize to your mom."
"What does that mean!"
Caught off guard by my poem, Rick momentarily stopped chanting. Unlike his canceled chant, starlight finally began gathering in my left hand. I hurled the starlight at the flustered Rick. The moment it became a meteor, I grinned at him.
"Your mom."