The Great Forest... Wait, The Great Forest
The Great Forest. Homeland of the elves and the land they called their own. Rather than "homeland," "the elven nation" felt like the more accurate term. A space unique to them, where countless elves lived together in coexistence. Even if their skin tones differed slightly, all were elves and thus accepted as members of the Great Forest. It was the New Great Forest, updated to match modern PC trends. Because of that, a tight-knit, almost unbreakable communal mindset dominated their society. In the best light, it was the ideal communal society for elves. In the worst light, it was an extremely closed-off society that existed only among themselves.
Two elves and three humans set foot in that place.
"Welcome, Representative Ersciana."
"Indeed. Thank you for coming to greet us."
The moment we arrived in the Great Forest, we were greeted by a single female elf with a youthful face. Because she was an elf, her exact age was impossible to determine, but based on appearance alone she looked about our age. Her outfit looked like it had been lifted straight from a fantasy novel—white garments with an excessive amount of exposed skin. Meanwhile, Elsia displayed none of the violent or lazy behavior she usually showed around us. She carried herself with the dignity expected of the World Tree Reception Representative.
"As I mentioned previously, there is no need for you to stand on ceremony with us, Ersciana."
"Got it!"
Of course, that dignified appearance collapsed within seconds. In that brief moment, the escort elf had already vanished from our sight. Since she had nothing to do and zero presence anyway, we simply let it slide.
Meanwhile, the guide elf who had come to receive us lifted her bowed head toward Elsia and opened her mouth while glaring at us warily.
"And these people are?"
"Ah! My guests!"
"I see. So they are the Representative's guests."
The guide elf seemed to decide further conversation was unnecessary and said nothing more. Her gaze toward us remained unchanged, however.
On the other hand, Elsia turned toward us with a bright smile and asked,
"How does the Great Forest feel? It must be your first time here."
We looked at one another, met eyes, and nodded. Still, as outsiders and visitors, we tried to speak as positively as possible.
"It's more impressive than I expected. The name 'Great Forest' really fits."
"I agree. It feels like my body is being refreshed."
"Kan... Elsia, I really like it too."
At least she had some conscience, calling Elsia by name. Hyeji. She seemed quite considerate.
"Looks like there's plenty to burn!"
"Right!"
"......Why does the young lady agree with that."
It would have been better without the words that followed.
The guide elf spoke to us in a mechanical tone.
"Please follow me. This way."
The guide elf began leading us deep into the forest. Sunlight filtered sparsely through the dense trees. The path wasn't paved. It was a dirt trail that had been slightly worn down yet firmly packed from long use by many travelers.
After walking for about five minutes, the view suddenly opened up to reveal a wide space where elves lived. My first impression upon seeing it was:
"What the hell, is this Korea?"
It was a sight that made me seriously doubt whether we were still in the Great Forest. Countless concrete buildings and highly modernized facilities lined the area. If it weren't for the massive trees towering in the distance and the elves visible here and there, I might have mistaken this place for Seoul.
I had tried not to ask unnecessary questions, but the scene was so different from the elves I knew that I couldn't help myself.
"This is the Great Forest, right?"
"Of course it is. This is the outskirts where ordinary elves live."
"Then why are there so many concrete buildings?"
"Reinforced concrete is a gift from nature. Don't you know that?"
The guide elf looked at me as though I were some uncivilized savage. I considered smacking her but decided to let it go.
The rest of the group's reactions seemed similar; everyone wore awkward expressions. Only Jung Ayeon appeared deeply impressed by the high-rise buildings and asked the guide elf,
"Such tall buildings... The elves' technological prowess is truly impressive."
"Are you referring to the building twenty yards ahead? That one stands at approximately 328 feet. That level is basic for elves."
"......Could you convert that to meters?"
"Must I use that primitive unit system?"
Regardless of our reactions, the guide elf resumed leading us. Many elves passed by in the meantime, offering simple greetings to Elsia before continuing on their way. However, they directed extremely blatant wariness toward me.
'These bitches are giving me some serious side-eye.'
[They don't seem very friendly.]
After walking for a while and leaving the urban area behind, we finally saw scenery that felt worthy of the Great Forest. Houses built solely from trees and giant leaves. Their nature-friendly yet luxurious and sophisticated appearance made them look like private villas for the elite.
Then the guide elf stopped, turned to us, and spoke.
"From here onward is the territory of the High Elves. My guidance ends here."
"Thanks! You worked hard!"
"Then I hope you have a pleasant day, Ersciana."
The guide elf bowed to Elsia and walked away. Now it seemed Elsia had taken over the guiding role as she began leading us forward.
"This way!"
We walked through the High Elf territory for quite some time. The weather was so warm that it didn't feel like winter was approaching at all, so we trudged along while sweating profusely.
"Elsia, how much farther?"
"We still have about 0.5 miles to go."
"Kanf, don't you start using that unit too."
"The Great Forest uses the yard-pound system. That's common sense!"
While we continued walking, a young female elf who had been arranging flowers outside recognized Elsia and greeted her.
"Ersciana, have you been well? You're much later than scheduled."
"Yes, I ended up being a little late."
Elsia once again wore the mask of the World Tree Reception Representative. The two chatted and laughed for a while before the elf girl suddenly turned her gaze toward me.
"Ersciana. Who is that person?"
"He's my husband."
"Ah, so that human is that bastard."
An elf kid radiating hostility far beyond the wariness shown by the previous elves—excessive, outright enmity.
No matter what, I couldn't tolerate even a kid acting up like that.
"What are you looking at? Want me to let Hyeji loose?"
"I don't know what that is, but do you really think someone like you deserves to set foot here?"
"If you're a kid, go play League. Pick Yasuo and you'll die."
"Ha! I'm much older than you."
"Show me your ID, you little shit."
The elf kid sneered at me with full force. Historically speaking, the rod is medicine. Today I was playing physical therapist. While I was pondering how to educate the elf kid, an elf who looked like the kid's father suddenly burst out from a nearby building. The kid instantly erased her hostile expression and greeted him with an extremely lovely smile.
"What's going on! Did someone bully you?"
"Grandpa!"
"I told you not to call me Grandpa."
Since they were elves, their exact ages were impossible to guess. Still, calling him Grandpa wasn't entirely incomprehensible.
Meanwhile, the elf kid hesitated before speaking again.
"Then, like usual, Dad?"
"No."
The male elf looked at the elf kid with a deep smile.
"From now on, you should call me Husband, my wife."
"Can't I call you Honey?"
"I like that better!"
...?
?????
???????
[......Is this really the right story?]
'Grandpa, then Dad, then Husband?'
My brain momentarily stopped functioning. Because incomprehensible sentences were flooding in, I couldn't say anything. I just stood there with my mouth stupidly open.
Meanwhile, the male and female elves were hugging each other as if they were about to die from happiness.
"Honey, don't mind that and let's go inside."
"Do we have to go in right now?"
"You're going to be a mom starting today! Let's quickly make our baby!"
"Okay!!! Honey! I love you!"
And leaving me behind, the male elf carried the elf kid in a princess carry and entered the house. When the sound of the door closing with a thud echoed, my thoughts finally began to move again.
'...Was this the "everyone fucks everyone" worldview?'
[Get a grip get a grip get a grip get a grip]
But Piece was already broken. Hyeji and Jung Ayeon seemed to be in the same state, their eyes unfocused before they barely managed to speak.
"......Shinwoo, did I hear that right?"
"Please tell me the young lady misheard."
"Elves... incest freaks?"
"Today, the young lady has never been to the Great Forest. Today was a day when nothing happened."
Hyeji couldn't escape the shock, and Jung Ayeon was casting the Heavenly Eye Gate. Watching us like that, Elsia smiled brightly. Though her eyes weren't smiling at all.
"Elsia, what we heard was real, right?"
"Yes, Darling! It's exactly as you saw! It's considered common sense among High Elves!"
Even though they were High Elves who valued pure blood, this went far beyond my common sense. I had assumed at most they would be connected between High Elf families, but that was cute in comparison.
Elsia continued.
"High Elves don't trust each other's families! Occasionally they marry ordinary elves, but mostly they maintain their families like this!"
"......What do you think?"
Hearing my words, Elsia spoke while maintaining her bright smile.
"They're filthy incest freaks!"
"......"
Contrary to her high tension, quite alien words came out of Elsia's mouth. Her eyes held disgust that couldn't be erased even by a smile.
We couldn't say anything.