A Turbulent Heart (Carlyle Side)
Carlyle Schultz sat in a cafe downtown. His golden eyes were deeply sunken. Lately, over the past few days, he'd been lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. He couldn't end things like this. He didn't want to let Bianca Shama slip away. That single obsession consumed him.
Maybe she's realized what a piece of trash I am?
Those words from his ex-girlfriend, Lindsey Nao, had haunted him. Three days had passed since then. Carlyle had spent every moment reflecting on himself—even during his part-time shifts, his mind never stopped churning. There were two reasons he hadn't visited Bianca's place in recent days.
First, his past actions and how others perceived them. Now that he'd become acutely aware of it all, pretending it didn't bother him would be a lie. Setting everything else aside, Carlyle pondered deeply why he'd fallen for her—why Bianca Shama, of all people.
Bianca was pure, and that's what drew him in. Somehow, without realizing it, he'd fallen for her. Her unblemished innocence, her unpretentious charm—that's what he loved. She was cute, pretty, with a hidden softness in her heart. Sometimes carefree, other times elegantly feminine. But above all that, the biggest reason Carlyle had fallen for Bianca was...
The more he thought, the clearer it became. Yeah, her purity. Her lack of pretense. That's it.
But... what about me?
And what was he like in return? Only now did Carlyle truly examine himself. What right did he have to stand beside her? Could he proudly claim to be worthy of someone like Bianca Shama?
She's so innocent, like a child—must be fun to toy with, huh?
If that's how others saw him, were he and Bianca truly mismatched? Yeah, maybe they were. Realizing that filled Carlyle with regret, even a touch of anguish.
If only I'd met Bianca from the start...
Such thoughts crossed his mind, but he knew they were meaningless hypotheticals. Bianca was pure enough to make you think of a wildflower just watching her. She eased his heart, brought smiles without effort. Any man would fall for her—no question.
If relationships between men and women were only meant for perfect matches? Then maybe it was best to end things here. They didn't fit. She was too good for him—pure, precious, raised with love from childhood, without a single rough edge. You could tell just by looking.
But him? Carlyle clenched his fists under the cafe table. They were worlds apart. An orphan like him, always craving affection, no family, unstable future. Sure, his brains had gotten him this far, but life wasn't abundant in other ways. Looking back, Carlyle Schultz was undeniably different from most people. He'd grown up apart from the norm.
So.
There might be flaws he didn't even recognize, ways his deficiencies could hurt her. He didn't regret being an orphan—it wasn't his choice. But it had left differences. Deep down, there was an inferiority complex he couldn't share—a subtle anxiety from starting life behind, a sense of lack that even scared him sometimes.
Could someone like him truly love wholeheartedly, build a happy family, be a good husband, a good father?
Is that even possible...?
The thought made his vision blur. Carlyle realized anew how deficient he was in so many ways. That's why his head had been a mess lately, why he hadn't visited her place for the first time—last Monday.
Three days later, it was now Thursday. There was another reason Carlyle hadn't sought out Bianca for three straight days after Monday.
The other one. In the end, no conclusion—just this.
...I can't give up.
Yeah. He couldn't let go of her, Bianca Shama. Carlyle had decided.
He was sorry to her. She might be too good for him. That natural charm, that lovable innocence—she shone just by being near. He'd already acknowledged his shady past wasn't something to be proud of.
Still, he couldn't let go. Call him selfish, condemn him—it didn't matter.
Bianca, you...
You shouldn't be like that. You really shouldn't.
Why, you...
Carlyle bit his lip. You couldn't waver on him like that. He'd seen it that day. Monday, the day the rumors spread. In class, their eyes met by chance.
...
That's when he saw it—a fleeting glimpse of her true emotions in that split second. She quickly turned cold, but Carlyle knew it was an act. The hurt, the pity, the worry, the anger in her eyes.
Are you an idiot?
He recalled that time she'd said it. When he'd come to her place soaked from the rain, that expression on her face—maybe even more hurt than then. She still cared for him, still trusted him without condition.
Carlyle had seen it. Realized it. She was too pure to hide it completely, even if she didn't know her slip-up showed on her face. He still didn't understand why she was pushing him away. But he'd confirmed her feelings hadn't completely faded. And her anger wasn't even at him—she was glaring at those around them. The meaning was obvious.
......
So, Carlyle had found her. The one person he'd been searching for all this time. He'd always thought Bianca was that person, but now he was certain.
A faith like devotion settled over him in that moment. He felt saved, almost dazed.
Bianca, you...
Even amid everyone's suspicion, even when she had every reason to feel betrayed by his past relationships—one person was still on his side, hurting for him. That was Bianca Shama.
She could've doubted the malicious rumors. Or been disappointed just knowing his history. Felt betrayal. But still, she was in his corner—as if she'd been there from the beginning, unwavering.
Carlyle Schultz regained his composure from that fact alone. A tingling in his fingertips and toes, followed by a shiver of thrill. His usual calm returned.
Let's start a family soon.
Find someone to love and build a home. That had been his long-held goal—what he'd never had from birth. Lean on each other in tough times, be each other's support. Someone always in his corner, no matter what.
He'd found her. So he couldn't give up.
Bianca, for me...
It has to be you. No one else would mean anything. It has to be you, no question. He'd make it so. Carlyle Schultz couldn't back down. It wasn't over. He'd try one more time—just once. He thought it was worth it. That was the conclusion he'd wrestled to after days of turmoil.
To seize the chance, he was deliberately giving her space to think. His heart screamed to rush to her now, but he barely held back. There was a special anniversary this weekend.
He'd had that day in mind from the start.
Give me one month—one chance.
It coincided with the end of their bet. That day was an anniversary for confessions between lovers. Long ago, in an era of monarchy, the last king abdicated to confess to a commoner woman. That marked the end of the royal family. To commemorate it, people celebrated the mid-October weekend as Confession Day—a tradition of confessing to crushes. The perfect day for proposals too.
...There's still a chance.
As Carlyle sat in the academy cafe, lost in thought, Emily had been sticking close lately. But he had no attention for her—her words fell on deaf ears. All his focus was on Bianca Shama. In three days, on Confession Day, it would all come to a head.
Carlyle was desperate now, racking his brains on how to win her over.