Shadows of Solitude and Scandal

Carlyle Schultz was an orphan—a self-inflicted consequence, in a way. It was simply a fact of life, so he had never once complained about it. He had realized long ago, even as a child, that whining changed nothing. But still... there was nothing he could do about the loneliness that crept in from time to time.

It happened back at the orphanage. His spot was by the window. Every evening after dinner, Carlyle would gaze out at the world beyond. The sparkling night lights, people with happy faces. Loving families, couples strolling arm in arm.

'Me too... someday...'

Gazing at that scenery, Carlyle sometimes pictured his own future. A future where someone was by his side. A happy image he could only imagine.

That must have been when Carlyle first set a goal for himself.

'Hurry up and start a family.'

Meet someone he loved and build a home together. It was something he had never experienced since birth. Lean on each other in tough times, be each other's support. Someone who would always be on his side, no matter what. He had longed for that, thought about it constantly.

That was why he had always been lenient with romance. He never turned away an approaching girl, dating them all in turn.

But honestly, he had never truly been sincere even once.

'Still, if we date long enough...'

He figured he'd find it eventually. Looking back now, it was a careless, perhaps even wrong, way of thinking.

Liking Bianca Shama changed his mind. For the first time, truly ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠falling for someone, Carlyle realized how lightly he had acted before—and how he hadn't respected his partners.

Now he knew. If it wasn't genuine love, he shouldn't do it.

He had realized this far too late.

That was probably why. Even with Emily. He couldn't be cold to his childhood friend who clearly liked him. He couldn't treat her lightly like before.

Now he knew how precious and heavy those feelings of "liking" someone truly were.

Carlyle Schultz had changed.

But that didn't erase his past actions.

"Carlyle, you..."

"What the hell happened?"

Even the shallow relationships he had maintained like friendships at the academy now looked at him with suspicion.

Of course, Carlyle hadn't expected anything from them ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to begin with.

"It's just baseless rumors."

Even as he said it flatly, his heart wasn't at ease.

So why? Why did it bother him? It was just nonsense, after all.

He had always been careful about that sort of thing.

But what was the point of trying to convince them?

Carlyle thought that way.

"No real source anyway."

His friends nodded awkwardly, their faces strained.

"Y-yeah..."

"No witnesses to begin with."

Carlyle just stated the facts. There was no evidence for the circulating rumors. That's what made them rumors.

Just some malicious gossip spread by someone. No witnesses.

It would die down soon.

Whispers, whispers—

But even afterward, as Carlyle walked the halls absentmindedly, he felt the changed gazes.

Was my reputation always like this?

A self-deprecating smile escaped him.

He wasn't particularly surprised. Maybe it was just karma. No one to blame but his past actions.

As Carlyle turned the corner, thinking that...

"Serves you right."

He bumped into someone. A girl with purple hair. Lindsey Noah. One of St. Antiope Academy's three great flowers. Popular enough to be ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠grouped that way, and someone he had briefly dated in the past.

And they had parted on bad terms.

He had even gotten slapped. No reason for her to feel fondly toward him.

So Carlyle responded calmly, as if it were nothing.

"It's a rumor that'll fade anyway. No evidence or anything."

"I know."

She laughed instead.

"That's why it's a bit disappointing... but what about her? That Bianca girl."

"...Why bring up Bianca?"

Carlyle's expression hardened, but she sneered.

"You really don't know? Unbelievable, Carlyle. Look at your track record. She probably got bored and you dumped her quick."

No point denying it. He didn't want to persuade her.

Carlyle tried to walk past.

That seemed to provoke her more.

"Or maybe... she found out what a trash you are? I hear things haven't been good lately."

His steps halted at her words.

"That innocent girl—fun to toy with, huh?"

"Think what you want."

Leaving that one reply, Carlyle moved on.

No need to react to nonsense from someone he had parted badly with.

But at the same time, he finally realized why it had bothered him, even if it was just rumors.

It was because of Bianca Shama.

It felt like his flaws were exposed to the one he truly loved.

Even if the rumor was false, it put his past flings under scrutiny.

A thought suddenly crossed Carlyle's mind.

'Yeah, maybe...'

If Bianca had started distancing herself because she heard the rumors.

They spread today, but what if she knew earlier?

That would explain her recent behavior.

Bianca was a transfer student. If she hadn't known his history before and just learned it...

All those past women. If she was disappointed after finding out...

Then, yeah. This was bad. Really bad.

Carlyle's gaze wavered. His steps faltered.

She found out what a trash you are?

Her words lingered, not entirely wrong if you just looked at his record.

He clenched his fist tight as he walked, but his mood didn't improve.

For some reason, today felt like a lot happened at the academy. And it really had.

"Haa—"

Vita let out a deep sigh.

She had gone to the dean and explained she could go back.

So, to get to the point—

"I probably won't be able to come to the academy for a day or two next week. So, if possible... could I have excused absences?"

Her parents were busy and couldn't come, but it was important, so they called her home. Adding that explanation, the dean didn't suspect much. Probably because her behavior lately had been model-student level.

Though he said he'd confirm with her father.

Vita could accept that condition.

"Thank you, Dean...!"

Her conscience pricked a little.

But she really planned to visit home after turning male again over the weekend.

'I need to explain to my parents too...'

Exhausted, honestly. She wanted to stay at the family home a bit, see her family's faces, rest.

Start fresh. Regain her peace. That resolve.

And also, Vita left a letter for Emily Swan.

A fairly long letter starting with that one line.

Emily had kept apologizing to her lately—texts, even coming to the front of the class in the academy sometimes. It made Vita uncomfortable.

She couldn't keep giving half-hearted responses forever. It wasn't in her nature.

After the weekend, she had regained some calm.

'...Time to give Emily a clear answer.'

Time to wrap things up. She had enough leeway for that resolve.

On her way back from the office to the classroom, when the hall was empty, Vita slipped the letter into Emily's locker.

She hesitated briefly, her heart tightening, but shoved it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in.

Then she fled the spot.

'Yeah, with this...'

This should do it. Right? This was right.

Even as her chest felt pricked by needles, Vita thought so.

And after classes, back in her room, Vita's heart wasn't settled.

She had heard the rumors in the afternoon, sensed the weird atmosphere.

And the protagonist was Carlyle Schultz, of all people.

Of course, Vita didn't believe them at all.

'That Carlyle guy...?'

Carlyle Schultz did that? Got a girl pregnant and pressured her to abort?

"Ha—"

Ridiculous. She felt indignant, even angry.

Malicious rumors.

She splashed cold water on her face.

'Nonsense.'

She was absolutely sure he wouldn't.

Only after gulping cold water did her stomach settle.

"...Carlyle Schultz isn't that kind of guy."

Surprisingly considerate, sensitive. Weirdly diligent.

Vita was convinced the rumors were lies.

He was her rival, after all.

She thought she knew at least a little about Carlyle Schultz's character.

So, somehow, Vita felt upset. Just... upset.

'That guy, probably...'

Was he bothered? Hurting?

She worried a bit.

Of course, the Carlyle she knew didn't shake easily, always so laid-back.

But rumors were rumors. They had to sting.

"Haa—"

Vita sighed.

It was regrettable, and she couldn't support him in this situation.

Today at the academy, she had just stayed quiet.

It pissed her off, honestly. Anger bubbling up, Vita bit her lip and endured.

She wanted to tell them not to talk crap, what did they know about Carlyle.

'...They don't know a damn thing.'

Most students chattering carelessly.

It infuriated her. Head hot, heart pounding.

Even then, Vita held back because she had to distance herself from Carlyle now. Cut ties.

That was the only reason.

She couldn't defend him in this situation.

'Carlyle always...'

He had supported her through her hard times.

Yet here she was, powerless to help.

The reality frustrated her. Her chest ached.

"Sorry, I..."

Couldn't be there for you.

She was sorry. Bit her lip lightly.

At least she believed the rumors were false. But she couldn't say it.

Poor Carlyle. She worried.

She wanted to tell him she believed him, be his support.

But unable to convey even that sincerity, Vita hated herself.

"Ah..."

Her heart stabbed like with needles. She grimaced.

It hurt, right in the chest. No reason for it.

Thinking of going back to being casual with Carlyle, strangers who barely talked...

Her chest hurt.

But actually, earlier in class, when their eyes met briefly.

She had hidden her true feelings, forced a cold expression.

'Probably... definitely...'

Carlyle must have been hurt by her reaction.

She thought so. Looked like those gossiping kids.

Vita's chest hurt a little for no reason.

But still. Yeah.

"...This is just right."

Right, this was. She told herself that, standing before the mirror.

Auburn long hair, sharp and youthful impression. Delicate features. Cheeks somehow slimmer lately, feminine curves.

This familiar body wouldn't last much longer.

She had taken another red pill, six left now.

But more than that, her mind was full of Carlyle.

'Hope it resolves well...'

And would he come to her dorm tonight?

Vita waited by the window, wondering if he would or not.

It hadn't happened since the school trip.

But it was her own doing.

She couldn't move from the window for a long time.

That night, at Emily's house.

"You should sleep, miss."

"...Yeah, okay."

Emily answered but couldn't tear her eyes away.

From the crumpled letter in her hands.

"Hoo—"

After classes, finding it had made her so tense.

She instantly guessed who sent it, heightening her anxiety.

Meanwhile, the academy had been in an uproar today, with her childhood friend Carlyle in a tough spot.

Of course, Emily thought it wasn't true.

'No way Carlyle...?'

She shook her head. Probably not.

She believed the Carlyle she knew wouldn't.

But a tiny bit of unease lingered from all the talk around her.

That nagging what if—

'Anyway, Carlyle's playboy history is...'

True, after all. The doubt crept in, but Emily pushed it away.

No, it wasn't. And that wasn't the priority now.

So Emily carefully read the letter.