Into the Room of Truth

For a while, Curry's chat was on fire.

Wasn't this a little too much heat for just losing the first game of a promotion series?

The thought crossed his mind, but replaying the broadcast made the situation perfectly clear.

Curry had been stacking "bad karma" the entire game.

The kind of karma you build by putting on a textbook performance of top-lane tunnel vision, over and over again — until that karma finally detonated in the form of a lost promotion series.

"...Guys. I genuinely want to end stream."

Whether a crack had actually formed in his mental state or not, he floated the idea of signing off in a carefully subdued voice.

But the viewers of Curry's chat — a place known as the Asylum for the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Unhinged — were never going to allow that.

Watching public opinion freefall into the abyss, Curry had no choice but to lift his head.

At the same time, the black screen that had been covering the area around his cam was pulled away — revealing a ranked lobby with the ban phase already finished.

"Come on, be real — getting stream sniped in a promotion series is just not fun. Am I wrong?"

As if every bit of that defeated energy from a moment ago had been a complete lie, Curry put on a mischievous, punchable little grin — and chat flooded with laughter.

"Nah, no way. After all that, you really think I'd get sniped?"

Curry shook his head with a smile at one viewer's chat. He kept bantering with the audience, and before he knew it, pick time had rolled around.

"Hmm... enemy top hasn't locked in yet?"

The opposing top laner still hadn't picked. Renekton — the safest first-pick card in Curry's champion pool — had already been banned.

After a moment of deliberation, Curry made his call.

"Let's go Malphite. Been a while."

The second he locked in Malphite — the poster child of comfort-pick champions — the mood in chat flipped on a dime.

"What now? Come on, sometimes in life you just... crave a comfort pick, you know?"

Curry soothed the raging public with his usual silver tongue. Sensing the urgent need to change the subject, he shifted his gaze — just as the enemy team finished their last pick.

And that final pick was...

"...Mordekaiser?"

Since time immemorial, one of the champions optimized for hunting comfort picks — right up there with Sylas. The "comfort-pick assassin."

The moment that champion appeared, chat's freefalling energy did another complete one-eighty.

"Who even plays Mordekaiser these days? The champ is dogwater."

The viewers pushed back against Curry's take — but objectively speaking, the fact that Mordekaiser was dogwater was still a fact.

"And enemy mid is Sylas too, for fuck's sake."

Given Malphite's nature as a defense-specialized comfort pick, he was naturally at a disadvantage into both Mordekaiser and Sylas. Even the cheap trick of swapping lanes with mid was off the table. He was stuck facing Mordekaiser on Malphite with nowhere to run.

"Please dodge!!!"

The moment the start counter hit one, he poured every ounce of prayer ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠into that dodge call — but:

And so the game began, the loading screen filling the display. Curry shifted his eyes to check the enemy nicknames — and three characters landed squarely in his vision.

The instant he saw those three syllables, Curry screamed internally. He didn't even need to look to know ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠exactly what was happening in chat.

"I even acted just to dodge the stream snipe..."

"...Did you really, really have to snipe me just to feel better about yourself?!"

Thanks to NayeonQueen — who had somehow pulled off a stream snipe in a situation where no one should have been able to — Curry's broadcast boiled over once again, more violently than ever.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

I'd pulled off the stream snipe again.

Unfortunately I'd been assigned to my secondary role of top, but that wasn't so bad. Whether I tormented him indirectly or directly — as long as I tormented him, it didn't really matter.

Malphite, huh...

No matter how badly he wanted to climb to Master, a streamer who called himself the Great General locking in a comfort pick? Completely unforgivable. It should not be forgiven.

Which was why I picked Mordekaiser — the counter to Malphite.

Back when Mordekaiser got remade, I'd main'd him hard enough that I knew the champion cold. But he was just too boring, so I'd eventually switched to other champs. At first, locking streamers in the Room of Truth and beating them down had been fun — but I'd done it so often that the novelty wore off fast, and I stopped enjoying it.

Maybe that was why picking up Mordekaiser again after so long felt good just from moving him around. The thought of trapping Curry's Malphite in the Room of Truth in the very near future and thrashing him without mercy sent a tingle through my whole body.

The game began.

The purple team's composition — the one with Curry's Malphite — was actually quite solid. Once the game shifted into teamfight phase, the Malphite-Orianna ultimate combo was a real variable, which meant time was essentially on purple's side.

Our team's composition, by comparison, was not great. Against a purple side that cleanly covered AD, AP, and tank, we had three AP champions. Of course, Malphite being a defense-specialized comfort pick meant we weren't completely doomed — but with our early-game advantage, if the game dragged on, our odds of losing climbed significantly.

Nothing happened during the invade phase, and we transitioned into laning. Curry's keystone was Comet, and he started poking me from level one.

Is he mad?

A Malphite actively trading despite a losing matchup — the kind of play that radiated pure rage directed at me. But no matter how much he poked, my health barely moved, thanks to my W skill, Doran's Shield, and the Resolve secondary rune Second Wind. Mordekaiser already had excellent lane sustain, and this rune setup put wings on that sustain.

In the end, Malphite burned through all his mana and was reduced to catching minions under tower. Naturally, I didn't leave him alone — every time my cooldowns came up, I brought the mace down on his head. He tried to recall, deciding he couldn't hold any longer, but I interrupted it with my E.

I could picture Curry's irritated face crystal clear without even watching his stream. Having missed his back timing, Malphite went right back to catching minions — the classic comfort-pick specialties of "lying down" and "just surviving."

Matching our jungle's pings, I cleared the wave fast. A dive angle formed naturally, and a Malphite with no health and no mana had no choice but to die.

Having confirmed Malphite's Flash was down, Elise left top. I moved to the safest spot I could find and hit recall. Malphite teleported back to lane late and looked for me mid-recall — but I knew that top-lane-tunnel-visioner playbook inside and out, and I'd already finished recalling from a safe position.

I checked the minimap down at bot and saw Elise heading for a counter-gank. Malphite had already burned his TP to get back to lane. Without a second of hesitation, I teleported into the bot-lane fight.

By the time my TP landed, the entire enemy team was on scraps of health. Honestly, we probably would have won even without the teleport — but arriving on TP let me save a nearly-dead Samira and secure the triple kill, so it wasn't a wasted join.

Having pocketed four kills by the six-minute mark, I finished my core item and headed back to top. Malphite had been diligently farming tower gold while I was gone. The second I got back to the lane where he was hard at work mining, I dropped my ultimate on him.

Trapped in the Room of Truth, Malphite immediately started backpedaling — but in a place with nowhere to run, all a Malphite could do was roll his little boulder around.

"Sit still."

Facing a Malphite who hadn't even hit level six yet, I swung my mace with a small smile and a glad heart.