Are You Desperate?
Are you desperate?
What followed was a solo-kill spree.
The enemy Kha'Zix came to gank, trying to stem the overflowing top-lane dumpster fire — but there was no stopping a monster Mordekaiser who had already gorged himself on seven kills. All it accomplished was doubling his death count. Later even Orianna rotated top, but a Mordekaiser grown this fat could handle a three-on-one without breaking a sweat.
While I single-handedly carried three people's worth of weight in the top lane, our Elise and Sylas blew open the bot lane. After that first skirmish the game hadn't fully collapsed yet — but whether the repeated four-man dives had shattered their mental, or something else entirely, an Ashe who had completed the forbidden Six Beads appeared mid lane.
And then a single all-chat message floated up.
The moment I saw that magic chat, I knew we'd won.
Once again, just-chat hour descended upon the Rift.
Enemy Kha'Zix had already given up — nowhere to be seen. Orianna, still clinging to the delusion that hope remained, was grinding away at the game. But what did it matter? Three of her own teammates had already opened.
In the end, every enemy except Orianna and Malphite vanished completely from the minimap. Our ever-curious Thresh wandered into their base and dropped a ward in the enemy fountain. Three champions stood there, motionless. I hit Tab — eighteen luminous green beads filled their item slots.
"It's over."
Once three people open, the game might as well be finished. But it wasn't nearly as fun as the match I'd won earlier. Lately, playing Leori, I kept wondering why people opened so much. Sure, when the other side opens your rank goes up, which is nice — but it cuts the fun of the game in half. Wouldn't it be more entertaining to end up on the same team as Curry and carry him with some bizarre pick? The thought crossed my mind, that's how anticlimactic this game had been. Of course, I'd gotten lucky with a strong early game too.
Well, luck is a skill.
After the open declaration, I invited Malphite into the Room of Truth a few more times. Ctrl+3 — the emote Mordekaiser players use when they're humiliating someone. The screech of electric guitar filled the Room of Truth. Malphite, thrashing like he was having a seizure, dumped his Flash and ultimate into random nowhere. Watching him suffer, the heat that had gone cold in me flared up a little again. As a reward for lifting my mood, I bestowed a mace upon Malphite, then rotated to join my teammates pushing the twin towers.
The Rift Herald has been summoned.
The summoned Herald smashed through the twin towers in succession before dying a glorious death. Even hardworking Orianna must have lost hope — she filled every item slot with green beads.
"Ah, fuck."
I hopped into Curry's stream and found him with Tab held open, laughing hollowly as he muttered a quiet curse. The Curry who'd been snickering moments before soon looked unhinged, chuckling heh heh as he sold every item and completed his own Six Beads right behind Orianna.
Our team roasted the enemy for collecting thirty beads. It was my first time seeing thirty of them too, so a laugh slipped out of my mouth. The feminine voice that came out made me clamp my lips shut right away.
Still not used to this…
A whole week had already passed since I'd become a woman, but I still hadn't adapted to living as one. Bathing, especially, was the worst. Back when I was a guy, a simple ten-minute shower and I was done. Now just washing the long hair that fell to my waist took thirty minutes alone. I was mulling over all the little changes in my life when, before I knew it, the game had ended.
And so Curry's second promotion series match came to a close. Once again, hellscape unfurled across the chat.
"I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick."
Curry, who'd been staring blankly into that hellscape, bolted off camera. The moment he fled to the sanctuary of the bathroom, the stream started buffering with spam.
…
…
…
Madness was here.
A madness so vicious the Joker couldn't even hand over his business card.
I stared into that abyss for a while, then tore my gaze away. Any longer and I felt like I'd be swallowed by it myself.
Is he actually taking a massive dump?
Curry almost never left his seat mid-stream. That was one of the things I'd naturally learned from sniping him so many times. Just how long was he going to take?
While I waited, a sudden unease prickled through me, and I glanced over at my sniping accounts.
"…!"
What the hell was going on?
Curry's status had switched to [Looking for Game]. Right up until I'd been watching the chat, it had been [Online].
I queued faster than I ever had in my life.
How long has he been queuing?
Anxiety gnawed at me as I chewed my nails. Praying he'd only just started queueing, I waited for a match to pop.
As I waited, the NayeonPrincess account found a match first. I accepted and entered the lobby — but Curry's status was still [Looking for Game]. Without a second of hesitation I dodged, then clasped my hands together and prayed.
Please, let the snipe land this time too.
While I was praying, NayeonQueen found a match. I swallowed hard and hit accept.
And in that exact same instant, Curry's status flipped to [Champion Select].
"Ah— ahh…!"
This rush!
Just the fact that the snipe had landed made both my hands tremble.
Thump-thump—
I was so wound up I could hear my own heartbeat. My whole body was on edge.
"Ah, sorry I'm a bit late — had to drop a big one."
Curry sat back down, snickering like nothing had happened. In that moment, I caught a glimpse of the screen reflected on the phone he was holding.
Remote… control?
It was too far to make out clearly, but those two words — remote and control — were unmistakable.
He remotely controlled his PC from his phone in the bathroom just to queue up?
Did he hate getting sniped that badly?
But too bad…
The more you tell me not to, the more I want to.
A deep smile spread across my face as I turned my eyes to the lobby chat.
NayeonQueen has entered the lobby.
LegendaryLegend has entered the lobby.
Teitan has entered the lobby.
SarcoTime has entered the lobby.
LonelyGourmet has entered the lobby.
"Same team?"
"Ah, hyungs. Time to really start the promo series for re— huh?"
My voice and Curry's voice rang out one after the other. On stream, Curry spotted my nickname and froze solid. Looking at those faintly trembling hands, he clearly wanted to deny the reality in front of him.
Sorry, but.
This is reality.
"…"
As Curry read the chat I'd just dropped in the lobby, his expression darkened at a terrifying speed.