Episode 81. samsara and paramnesia 2
Episode 81. samsara and paramnesia 2
Same day, 6:30 PM.
"Huuuuu......"
I had been deeply pondering over two items at my feet for dozens of minutes.
The two items were... obviously the Maid Uniform and the Tail.
"This is really ridiculous. Seriously."
My hands trembled uneasily as I kept circling around the items at my feet.
First, the Maid Uniform.
The Maid Uniform, as I saw last time, had a design that perfectly satisfied the needs of true degenerates. The entire upper chest was exposed, the back was cut out... if I wore this, the bra straps would definitely show.
Moreover, the hem didn't even reach my knees. It was probably just long enough to meet the top of my knee socks.
If a girl with a sexy... no, um, what should I call it. If a girl with a good figure wore this, she'd probably get a lot of attention.
'No, this won't do.'
I obviously don't want to get attention on the streets, and if I meet the Director looking like that... I don't even want to imagine how she'd react.
I lightly kicked the Maid Uniform with my toe, isolating it to a corner of the Room.
Next was the Tail.
'No, this is even worse!'
Putting aside how difficult it would be to insert because the Beads were too big... the Tail would draw even more attention than the Maid Uniform.
And to get examined at the Research Institute, I have to take all my clothes off. Then the Beads plugging my anus would obviously be exposed.
I also kicked the Beads away with my foot, sending them flying far away.
"Ah, fuck......"
It's a choice between death options.
Whichever I choose, it's disqualification as a human and qualification as a beast.
'But, if I don't choose.'
Who knows what Seyeon might do tomorrow.
I might really get it badly.
'Giving me missions and punishments as she pleases... she's really doing everything by herself. So annoying.'
It was just absurd how my will was completely ignored.
"......"
I need to leave soon, what should I do.
After pondering for just 5 more minutes, I finally decided.
'I won't do it.'
I won't do it. Neither of them!
No matter how I think about it, it's insane. Wearing a Maid Uniform (or Tail) in a crowded place and meeting the Director looking like that?
It's just social suicide.
So I'll just not do it.
"Hmm."
Someone might say, "What kind of nerve does this stupid bitch have to disobey after being treated like that???"
But what I always keep in mind is that no matter what punishment I receive or how badly I'm treated, the will to resist is what's important.
That, what was it, Learned Helplessness...? I think. There's that saying, right.
I just need to have a strong will not to yield. Then it doesn't matter if I get deep kissed by her a bunch, have my thick breast milk forcibly squeezed out, or have my mind go back and forth while being collared and unleashed.
'Doesn't... matter?'
Anyway, the conclusion is this.
The best I can do right now is to maintain the will to resist her somehow. Since I can't do anything physically anyway.
"Tomorrow me, stay strong."
Muttering that to myself, I left the House dressed in pure school uniform attire without any other impure accessories.
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[7:01 PM]
'Is she still not here?'
The time was just slightly past 7:00 PM.
I looked around, checking if the Director's Mercedes-Benz S-Class was coming.
As I was doing that, I suddenly felt a Supernatural Aura from behind. The sound of footsteps, thump, thump.
I instinctively turned around. Immediately-
Grab.
"Ugh?!"
Someone... no, not someone but Seyeon grabbed both my shoulders firmly with her hands.
"What, what are you doing! You scared me!"
"It's past 7, why are you still here?"
Ignoring what I said, Seyeon asked me with a beaming smile.
No, wait.
If I meet her here now, she'll find out that I didn't choose either the Maid Uniform or the Beads...!
My heart instantly sank to the bottom, but I answered as calmly as possible.
"...She's running a bit late."
"Oh? Then let's talk for a bit-"
Just as I was frowning and about to immediately reject Seyeon's suggestion, the faint exhaust sound of a Mercedes-Benz S-Class came from behind.
As if my savior had appeared, I shook off Seyeon's hand and quickly walked to the edge of the sidewalk.
The passenger window of the Mercedes-Benz S-Class that stopped in front of me slid open smoothly-.
"Sorry I'm late. Did you wait long?"
"Ah, no! I just got here too."
I answered like that and immediately opened the door of the Mercedes-Benz S-Class and got in.
At that moment.
"Hello."
Seyeon came closer and looked through the window to greet the Director.
'...Fuck.'
I didn't know she'd be this bold.
"Oh my, is this your friend, Yubin?"
"Yes, I'm In Seyeon."
"Ah......"
A momentarily paused conversation.
Feeling awkward, I alternated looking between the two. Seyeon looked at the Director with her usual relaxed smile, and the Director also looked at Seyeon with eyes similar to last time - sharp and predatory.
'What the fuck.'
A battle of nerves?
Just as I thought that, the Director finally smiled brightly and leaned toward me, extending her hand to Seyeon. She was handing over a business card.
Seyeon stared at the business card given by the Director as if mesmerized by something.
"Yubin just comes with me occasionally for check-ups. Nothing particularly to worry about."
"...Ah, yes."
I felt as if my spine was tingling. The atmosphere was precarious like a house of cards. Like walking on thin ice......
'Should I just shout it out?'
The fact that this girl you're looking at is the culprit who's driven me to this point. So please help me.
"......"
"Seyeon, contact me if you ever need anything. I don't usually say this often, but I feel particularly welcoming toward you for some reason."
"Thank you. It feels strange to have someone important as a connection, heh."
The Director laughed "hohoho" at Seyeon's drawling words, and I remained silent with my mouth shut.
'I can't say anything.'
Is it because of my Intuition?
No.
"Well, we should get going now."
"Ah, have a safe trip. Yubin too, yeah. See you tomorrow."
"...Ah, yeah. Right."
Seyeon's "see you tomorrow."
Her tone had clearly dropped to the absolute bottom.
The reason was obvious.
Because I didn't keep what Seyeon said at lunch.
Fuck......
Thus, the brief conversation between the three of us left only subtle emotions behind.
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The Mercedes-Benz S-Class we were in glided along the road as if riding a moving walkway. Outside the window, the turbid lights of the nightscape rose like heat haze, murky like stagnant water.
I blankly observed outside. The alternating scenery of small and large buildings looked exactly like waves swelling in a night sea.
Actually, Seyeon meeting the Director wasn't a big deal.
Since Seyeon already knows I get regular check-ups, and beyond that, the likelihood of something major happening just because she met the Director directly is almost zero.
Rather, the fact that I couldn't say anything to the Director at that moment, and that I'm still keeping my mouth tightly shut now, made me very uncomfortable.
'I don't understand myself either. What am I trying to do, really.'
I feel like I've lost my direction.
'Telling her to contact me if she needs anything, the Director is too kind.'
She shouldn't show unnecessary kindness to such a bad kid.
But I can understand. After all, the Director and Seyeon are of the same kind.
Looking at Seyeon's sparkling crimson eyes, it's impossible not to know she's a Mixed Species.
"Huuuu......"
As I was lost in such long thoughts, a voice as soft as cotton came from beside me.
"Yubin-ah, sorry I'm late. Something suddenly came up at work."
The Director apologizing once more after earlier, for some reason. Was she that sorry?
"No, it's really okay. I should be sorry instead. Making you come all the way out to pick me up like this."
"Hey, this ajumma should at least do that much. To be blunt, you're a research subject."
"But the fact that I'm receiving treatment doesn't change. Next time, I'll really go by myself."
"I told you it's fine, really......"
The Director smiled kindly as she smoothly turned the steering wheel of the Mercedes-Benz S-Class.
I also smiled awkwardly and actually opened a map app. Even if I listened to the Director, circumstances might arise where I need to go by myself, so I thought I might as well look up the route now.
"Ah."
As I brought my finger to the screen and accidentally double-tapped, the moment the map zoomed out swiftly.
'...Huh?'
I discovered something on the map and tilted my head.
What I'm looking at is a satellite map. Not a simplified version with symbols or diagrams, but an actual photo of Earth taken from space.
It's really, really small and hard to see, but a little distance from the Research Institute... there was a pitch-black dot.
'What's that dot?'
A graphic error?
I closed the map app and reopened it.
But the dot was still there.
"......"
Swallowing the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, I slowly zoomed in on that point.
'What is this...?'
My heart is pounding for no reason.
I haven't used map apps much, and even when I became a girl, all I did was try to find my House, so this is the first time I've discovered this.
'Is it some kind of military area?'
When I look at street view on maps, sometimes I see mosaic-covered areas, and I've heard they censor sensitive places like military areas that way.
But I've never seen one so conspicuously painted completely black like that.
'If we're talking about my previous life, that place was probably... Seongbuk-gu, I think.'
That's what I remember. I don't think there was any important yet secret place in Seongbuk-gu.
"......"
I don't know with my current knowledge.
When we arrive at the Research Institute, I should ask the Director or something.
Or search online... anyway, it's not an urgent matter.
Thinking that, I leaned back fully against the seatback. As expected of a Mercedes-Benz S-Class, it was wonderfully plush and comfortable.
There happened to be a web novel that returned after an extremely long hiatus, so I passed the time reading that.