The Road Back - 2
Haru had wanted to lay the girl down on the bed because she was sulking and couldn’t lift her head. She was probably angry, laughing, and exhausted. So, she wanted to let her rest in a more comfortable place.
But because the glamping had been booked for one night and two days, they couldn’t stay longer, and in the end, Haru just changed the girl’s clothes and took her to the parking lot.
Fortunately, the car was a pickup truck. One where the front seat could be folded back 180 degrees to become a bed-like surface.
The girl lay on the seat and slept soundly. Haru looked at the girl’s face, then slowly started driving the car.
It was something she shouldn’t have done for safety reasons. But since she didn’t have the money for parking fees, she carefully drove out of the ranch and arrived at the rest stop that operated free parking, where she stopped the car.
The girl was still asleep.
“Uuum.”
Crouched with her coat as a blanket.
Haru stroked the girl’s head like a cat, then moved to the smoking area.
“Huuu.”
…Had she done well?
The acrid smell in her mouth made Haru question herself.
Did she really do her best?
Actually, even if she had gone back before coming to the ranch, she would have done the same thing. She would fatten her up a bit, buy her clothes, and when she seemed okay, she would have come.
Because the early summer heat was approaching, she chose a mountainous ranch that wasn’t too hot, and wandered around for a day and night or two nights and three days.
And… she would ask again.
Was this really the best?
She didn’t know what it was.
Right now, she’s tired and sleeping in the car, but unlike when she hurt her ankle, she didn’t get hurt or anything, so maybe it was good.
But was it right to deliberately make her angry?
Couldn’t she just suppress it inside and act like the time was short?
Only by bursting like that could the girl become healthier?
Haru continued to question herself, and the cigarette ash grew longer, clinging precariously to the cigarette.
“Ah! Hot.”
Finally, the cigarette ash brushed near Haru’s finger and fell.
She didn’t get burned, but her finger felt slightly red.
“Huu. What are you doing.”
It’s not like she smokes a pack a day.
Haru muttered to herself, put out the cigarette, then went into the convenience store to buy various things.
Maybe she could sleep one more night at a motel on the way back.
So, she bought a lot of water and things, put them in the trunk, left some snacks, and got in the driver’s seat.
“Uun.”
The girl made a small groan as if wind came in.
The girl blinked her eyes, then when she saw Haru, she grabbed her hand and fiddled with her fingers.
“Uun, Unni.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah.”
A natural, coquettish voice mixed with a boy’s timbre.
But the girl was definitely acting coquettish.
Haru was momentarily stunned by the girl’s reaction and blinked her eyes repeatedly.
It changed suddenly.
When she was sleepy at the ranch, she sulked a bit, but did she change this much?
“Unni, can I go to the bathroom?”
“Ah, uun, go ahead. There’s one over there.”
“Yeah.”
While Haru was flustered, the girl got out of the car as if she hadn’t noticed her change at all.
The girl’s footsteps still felt awkward.
The footsteps of a man and a woman mixed, like neither nor.
But she felt a bit more stable than when she hurt her foot.
Haru turned her head forward, then looked at the girl’s back again.
She had worn the cast longer than when the bone was broken, so why did she feel more stable?
She hadn’t exercised during this time.
Because she gained weight?
So that’s why?
No, still, isn’t this a different story from that?
“Eh…”
Haru was dazed for a long time even after the girl disappeared from sight, then buried her body deeply into the seat.
Her head was dizzy.
But after a while, she decided that whatever is good is good and shook her head vigorously.
In a way, she was adapting to the girl’s changed body.
She wanted her to become a woman as she is, adjust her food intake, and so on.
Since she couldn’t go back to being a man, she wanted her to get used to handling the body as a woman, even if her clothes preferences were from when she was a man.
More than anything, she wanted her to become healthy first.
Thinking this way, she stretched her arms, and when the girl returned to the car, she adjusted the seat back to original and fastened her seatbelt.
“Shall we go?”
“Yeah.”
When Haru held the girl’s hand that was still wet from wiping, the girl turned her hand and intertwined fingers.
And she turned her head slightly and smiled with her eyes.
Haru flinched at the girl’s coquettishness and awkwardly smiled.
It wasn’t deliberate coquettishness.
Especially since Haru had seen the girl since elementary school, and she naturally acted coquettish, so she couldn’t not know.
So, this coquettishness was coming out naturally… could she get used to it?
She needed to get used to it to look at the girl straight and talk.
Haru was embarrassed by the new problem and smiled awkwardly, then slowly started driving the car.
The girl stared blankly with her mouth open at the passing scenery.
She was recalling her words that said “I hate dad and mom.”
…It felt like she had done something amazing, but actually it was nothing.
When they were middle and high school students, kids with bad home environments said things like that casually.
Bad kids said they wanted to kill them while mixing in swear words, and good students said they would leave for university and become independent right away.
Those were the kinds of words.
They said it not only when they were old enough to go to university, but even a year later.
But her heart was pounding.
Something was starting to feel clear belatedly.
She didn’t know what it was.
It could be the fresh green scent felt from outside, or the smell of passing cars occasionally.
Or the smell of the high mountains, the birds chirping from far away, the scent of flowers.
But everything felt so clear.
The intensely blue scent filling her chest felt painful.
“Ah.”
When she came to her senses, she was crying.
Tears were falling silently, and the girl belatedly noticed her breathing quickening from the tears on her hand.
“Sniff.”
She turned her head while making a sniffle sound, and Haru told her there were tissues in the glove box.
“Thank you.”
The girl smiled bashfully at that, blew her nose, and crumpled the tissue into a ball, then put it in the snack bag.
And she fiddled with the snack bag while looking at Haru suspiciously, and Haru said to just put it in the plastic bag.
“Are you okay?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”
The girl smiled brightly at Haru’s question.
She had cried without knowing it just now, but she wasn’t sad to the point of being overwhelmed.
It was just that the scenery outside was beautiful.
The shade of trees hanging over the road, the slowly flowing clouds…
She was just impressed by the beauty she hadn’t seen on the way there.
Probably.
“Haa…”
The girl laughed heavily.
Just like when she said “pretty” while looking at Haru from the viewing point.
She just looked at Haru with a heavy laugh.
And Haru, without realizing it, loosened her foot that was pressing the accelerator at the girl’s smile.
She looked at the girl’s face that appeared in the corner of her eye.
It was a smile as if seeing it for the first time.
Her slightly reddened eye rims curved softly like leaves, and her slightly open lips formed a pure, bright smile.
At that smile, Haru smiled the same way but was startled inside.
Her heart was pounding.
It must be a misunderstanding.
The coquettishness had suddenly increased due to the girl’s changed body movements, and because she was dressed in clothes that matched her taste, so that’s why.
Since they were cohabiting and traveling together, the walls had naturally broken down.
What thoughts would she have about the person she had almost raised since she was little?
She shouldn’t have bad thoughts.
Haru said that to herself, and this time she spoke first.
“Outside is pretty, right?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty.”
Just like at the viewing point, since there was nothing to say, she just said “pretty”.
And in this awkward atmosphere, she was trying to escape.
“Pretty.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Really. Really pretty.”
“Then, shall we come again next time?”
Even as the girl’s words continued, it became harder.
But Haru somehow drove the car while suppressing her pounding heart.
The girl looked at Haru’s face, then looked out the window again and smiled with her eyes.
Feeling the passing wind, she muttered “I hate mom and dad” and smiled coquettishly.