The Fools Squabble Among Themselves
The fake emperor’s army in northern Qing Province had collapsed three days ago.
The people of Qing Province gathered in small groups under skies heavy with rain that seemed to have fallen from a shattered heaven. Their conversations all revolved around one topic: the bandits who had crushed the false Son of Heaven’s forces just days earlier.
“...So the bandits really only took the fake emperor and left?”
No one knew who spoke first, but the rumor began to spread like wildfire among the common folk. Fear and confusion soon gripped them all.
Black Mountain Army. Jang Yeon.
Now, no one dared utter those names lightly.
The false emperor, Zhang Ju, had called himself the “True Mandate Emperor” and demanded that officials and citizens of every province bow before him. Yet he possessed neither the imperial seal nor had he issued any grand amnesty upon his so-called ascension. He simply claimed to have received the Mandate of Heaven and demanded obedience. Together with the Wuhuan tribes and his close friend Zhang Shun, he had raised an army of one hundred and seventy thousand.
At first, the officials and people of Qing Province had laughed at the absurdity. But their laughter quickly turned to terror.
From Hebei, fifty thousand Wuhuan cavalry led an army of one hundred and seventy thousand as they swept down into Qing Province. The region, already devastated by the aftermath of the Yellow Turban Rebellion, had no strength left to resist such a force. The government troops chose not to engage in open battle. Instead, they gathered inside Qing Province’s capital and waited for reinforcements from the imperial court.
But three days ago, the false emperor’s army had been literally trampled into the dirt.
In a single decisive battle in northern Qing Province, Zhang Ju’s forces were shattered. The man himself was taken prisoner and dragged away in chains.
The citizens of Qing Province had watched with their own eyes as the blood-soaked Zhang Ju, hands and feet bound, was hauled off like a criminal. And the bandits who captured him had not laid a single finger on the people of Qing Province. They simply withdrew in silence, crossing back into Yanzhou.
“Those bandit bastards didn’t even pillage anything… They really just took the fake emperor and left?”
The people could hardly believe it. It was a terror they could not comprehend. The idea that tens of thousands of bandits would appear, capture only the false emperor, and then vanish without harming a single civilian completely shattered every common sense they possessed.
Were these truly bandits? Or were they righteous armies?
Such rumors swirled across all of Qing Province.
Are they really bandits?
The question hung heavy with doubt. People felt the suspicion in their hearts, but no one dared speak it aloud. For the common folk, trying to understand what they could not comprehend was simply too difficult.
In contrast, the local scholars and officials viewed the matter differently.
“Hah, so bandits have taken it upon themselves to suppress rebels in the court’s stead and capture the ringleader…”
“Truly, these are the final days of the world.”
“That Jang Yeon of Mount Tai…”
The officials of Qing Province stood frozen in stunned silence as they processed the situation. The county magistrates refused to leave their chambers, and their subordinates let official reports pile up unanswered.
One magistrate sat at his desk, brush hovering over paper as he tried to write a report. He stopped.
How in the world am I supposed to report this to the Inspector?
Should he write, “Bandits crushed the false emperor Zhang Ju’s army and took him captive”? Or perhaps, “The rebel forces in northern Qing Province collapsed on their own”?
In the end, he could not bring himself to write anything. The rumors would spread soon enough anyway. It would be better to submit the report after the stories had already reached the Inspector’s ears. Of course, a report slower than gossip would earn the Inspector’s wrath, but he figured it was still preferable to being summoned and accused of glorifying bandits.
The nights in Yanzhou were quiet. Yet inside the command tent of the Yellow Turban Suppression Army, the meeting dragged on.
A sense of relief that the long, drawn-out campaign against the remaining Yellow Turban remnants had finally ended filled the tent. At the same time, reports that had arrived two weeks earlier—and the confirmation that followed—had planted seeds of doubt and bewilderment among them.
“He really captured Zhang Ju?”
The commander of the Yellow Turban Suppression Army repeated the same words twice. He pressed a hand to his forehead.
“In Qing Province… that bandit called Jang Yeon captured the false emperor… Hah…”
A heavy silence settled over the tent.
The imperial generals who had come down to Yanzhou to suppress the Yellow Turbans sat in small clusters. On the table before them lay three identical letters that had been passed around countless times.
The contents were the same.
“To think that a bandit would personally suppress a wretch who arrogantly claimed the Mandate of Heaven and pretended to be the emperor…” One of the generals crossed his arms and shook his leg as he spoke.
“What is he plotting?”
“A bandit beheading a traitor,” another muttered in agreement.
“It is good news that the rebels have been suppressed, but we cannot simply rejoice.”
“If bandits struck down and subdued a rebel army, should we still call them bandits? Or should we call them righteous armies?”
At those words, everyone fell silent. Then the man who radiated the strongest presence in the room finally spoke.
“We cannot know yet.”
The one who had opened his mouth was the Cavalry Commander Jo Jo.
He picked up one of the letters from the table again. Though he had read it many times already, his eyes shone as if seeing it for the first time.
“Zhang Ju,” Jo Jo said shortly. “He was a traitor.”
His fingertip traced the name written in the letter.
“If the ones who suppressed a traitor are called bandits, then it becomes difficult to call them bandits any longer. We could call them righteous armies. However—”
He paused.
“In the end, they have occupied the empire’s land without the court’s permission and collect passage tolls.”
The generals nodded at his words. The commander turned to Jo Jo with a question.
“Then should we petition the court to suppress them as well? We have only just pacified Yanzhou. Would the court even permit us to mobilize troops again?”
Jo Jo shook his head.
“That is not what I mean. The court will be the one to make the judgment. If the court defines them as bandits, then they are bandits. If it calls them righteous armies, then they are righteous armies.”
“Hmm. Then what should we do moving forward, Cavalry Commander Jo?”
Jo Jo remained silent for a moment. Outside the tent, a cool breeze blew, easing the muggy heat.
“We must wait for the court’s command.”
At Jo Jo’s words, the commander and generals clicked their tongues in slight disappointment. The men gathered in the command tent discussed the future political situation for a while longer before eventually disbanding.
“Mengde, do we really have to just sit and wait?”
Ha Hu Don, Jo Jo’s close friend, spoke the moment the meeting ended.
“What, you want me to personally lead an army there?”
Jo Jo’s casual shrug looked slightly irritating to Ha Hu Don.
“That’s not what I’m saying! I just can’t believe that the great Jo Mengde would simply sit and wait like this.”
“The bandits crushed a traitor’s army and captured the traitor himself. At this point, there is nothing we can do. Everything will be decided by the court.”
Jo Jo felt a slight regret that he had dismissed the earlier reports so lightly. Back then I simply dismissed them as mere bandits. Hah, to think they actually captured a traitor.
In his mind, the current state of affairs unfolded like a painting. The western part of Yanzhou had been devastated by repeated uprisings of Yellow Turbans and their remnants. To the east, Jang Yeon’s Black Mountain Army was growing in power. If they had been simple bandits, they could have been suppressed somehow. But now they had gained a position similar to that of a “righteous army” that had suppressed a traitor. Moreover, having occupied the territory previously governed by Zhang Ju, the former Grand Administrator of Mount Tai, they could no longer be called anything less than an independent faction.
“Jang Yeon… Jang Yeon.”
“Mengde! Stop thinking by yourself and share it with me! I’m dying of frustration here!”
Ha Hu Don’s voice did not reach Jo Jo’s ears.
I suppose I’ll have to watch a little longer.
The tent of Gulyeogeo was even quieter than usual.
The Wuhuan military camp, which would normally have been filled with the smell of alcohol and the neighing of horses, was deathly still. Ever since the news arrived that Zhang Ju—who had proclaimed himself the True Mandate Emperor—had led fifty thousand troops south, only to be defeated in a single battle in northern Qing Province and taken captive.
The remaining forces numbered one hundred thousand. It was still a considerable number, but it was essentially the entire strength of the Wuhuan tribes under Gulyeogeo’s command. From Gulyeogeo’s perspective, moving his army any further had become extremely difficult. Yet simply withdrawing was equally impossible. He was caught in a dilemma with no easy escape.
“The Inspector of You Province has sent an envoy.”
The deputy commander opened the tent flap and cautiously informed Gulyeogeo. The old man nodded silently, and a familiar figure appeared from outside.
The one who strode confidently into the tent was Seonwoo Bo, a fellow member of the Wuhuan tribe.
“So it was you, Seonwoo Bo.”
“Old man, you’re still alive? Isn’t it about time you kicked the bucket?”
The elderly Gulyeogeo and the young Seonwoo Bo exchanged words that were neither overly heavy nor light. But today, the two of them had to make one definite choice.
Seonwoo Bo spoke first.
“You know why I’ve come all the way here, don’t you?”
“Did Inspector Yu call for me?”
“Call for you? As if.”
Seonwoo Bo snorted.
“He gave an order. He said it’s time for you to come to your senses.”
Gulyeogeo frowned.
“I raised an army and rebelled. Coming to my senses won’t make that disappear.”
“Puhahaha! Rebellion? Sure, you could call it that. But was Zhang Ju some member of the imperial family? Did he receive support from all directions like the Yellow Turbans and occupy territories? All he did was pillage, nothing more.”
Seonwoo Bo spoke coldly and decisively.
“Call it a rebellion if you want. Or call it pillaging. It can be either.”
Gulyeogeo pondered for a moment before nodding.
“You’re right. Since Inspector Yu has given me this opportunity, I have no choice but to take it.”
“Wise decision, old man. You’ve lived long enough. Don’t do something like this again. And be sure to remain grateful for Inspector Yu’s mercy.”
Gulyeogeo signaled with his eyes to a warrior standing nearby. The warrior bowed and left the tent. Soon after, shouting could be heard from outside.
“Let go! You bastards! How dare you lowly creatures lay your hands on my august body!? Where is Gulyeogeo!?”
Zhang Shun was dragged into the tent by Wuhuan warriors. He struggled fiercely, but the Wuhuan soldiers did not loosen their grip in the slightest.
“I, Gulyeogeo, swear that I will never again set foot in Han territory. Furthermore, the reason I committed pillaging this time was because I was deceived by the schemes of Zhang Ju and Zhang Shun. Please convey my sincere apology to Inspector Yu.”
“I will. I’ll say that the foolish old Gulyeogeo has grown senile with age and was tricked by the empty words of worthless men.”
When Seonwoo Bo spoke with a mocking tone, a vein bulged slightly on Gulyeogeo’s forehead. But he soon calmed himself and looked at the captured Zhang Shun.
Zhang Shun, who still seemed unable to grasp the situation, shouted the moment he saw Gulyeogeo.
“You bastard! Gulyeogeo! How dare you do this to me!? I— Urk!”
The Wuhuan soldiers holding Zhang Shun’s head from both sides slammed it violently into the ground. His head struck the earth, and red blood flowed freely.
“Ughhh…”
“Zhang Shun. Shut that mouth of yours. You deceived me with your empty schemes and disturbed the borders of Han. I will offer you as a sacrifice to atone for my sins.”
Gulyeogeo of the Wuhuan officially apologized, stating that he had been deceived by the empty schemes of Zhang Ju and Zhang Shun and that was why he had committed pillaging. Furthermore, moved by the persuasion and logic of Yuu, Inspector of You Province, he declared himself a sinner and offered up Zhang Shun.
Inspector Yuu of You Province submitted a memorial to the court that read:
Zhang Ju, former Grand Administrator of Mount Tai, arrogantly spoke of receiving the Mandate of Heaven and proclaimed himself emperor. He colluded with the Wuhuan and plotted rebellion. The number of his forces reached a staggering one hundred and seventy thousand. Your servant, together with the people, gathered righteous will and prepared defenses. Among the scholars of the borderlands and even among the Wuhuan, there were those who understood morality and justice. They gathered armies and followed the path of righteousness, repelling those who invaded You Province. After some time, although Gulyeogeo had initially committed a crime, your servant admonished him with sincerity and propriety. He finally realized his fault, withdrew his troops of his own accord, bound the ringleader Zhang Shun, and delivered him to your servant while begging for punishment. Although he is a criminal, this proves that the heart that understands propriety and follows justice still remains within him. In the extermination of villains threatening the realm, even barbarians have united as one to uphold the righteousness of the world. This is truly a precedent. Your servant, Yuu, Inspector of You Province, humbly requests that Your Majesty, considering both his crimes and his merits, grant Gulyeogeo an opportunity for repentance. Furthermore, I beg that you bestow upon the several hundred thousand Wuhuan who follow him the chance to receive the rites of Han.
Emperor Ling and the court of Luoyang accepted Yuu’s memorial. Thus, the rebellion of Zhang Ju and Zhang Shun came to an end after a mere month.
In the Luoyang court, after both Zhang Ju and Zhang Shun had been escorted to the capital in chains, the court session began earlier than usual.
“It is because Your Majesty’s holy virtue has spread across the realm that these traitors have received Heaven’s punishment.”
As soon as the session opened, Minister of Works Choe Yeol stepped forward and knelt. Grand General Ha Jin, Grand Master of Ceremonies Yu Eon, Minister of the Palace Yu Hong, Commandant of the Imperial Gardens Yang Pyo, and Rear General Won Oe all bowed their heads in unison.
“Inspector Yuu of You Province has upheld Your Majesty’s grace. In less than a month, he turned back the great Wuhuan army and uprooted the very foundation of the rebellion.”
Emperor Ling sat upon the dragon throne, looking down at the assembly hall. His eyes remained bored, his expression indifferent. The ministers, as always, watched the emperor’s mood carefully as they continued the session.
“Zhang Ju, captured from Mount Tai, deserves to be executed.”
“The traitor Zhang Shun has also been brought in, and Gulyeogeo has realized his own sins. This is a great achievement by Inspector Yu.”
Emperor Ling nodded slightly at the ministers’ discussion. However, as the meeting progressed, the ministers’ tones grew noticeably more cautious.
“...However, one of the ringleaders, Zhang Ju, was captured by a man called Jang Yeon, who is apparently a bandit…”
“That Jang Yeon made no demands whatsoever. He simply handed Zhang Ju over to the court and withdrew.”
At those words, Emperor Ling’s previously bored expression shifted slightly.
“Oh? He made no demands at all?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. He sent a man with a letter.”
One of the court ministers attempted to present the letter to Emperor Ling, but the emperor shook his head and ordered it to be read aloud on the spot. The minister cleared his throat slightly and began to read.
Your humble subject was originally a citizen of Han and has lived while regarding Your Majesty as a parent. That this subject dared to raise an army was solely because he could not abandon righteousness and propriety. The traitor Zhang Ju arrogantly spoke of the Mandate of Heaven and proclaimed himself emperor, throwing You Province, Ji Province, Qing Province, and Yanzhou into chaos. Your subject could not contain his rage and sought only to punish him. If Your Majesty would consider this small loyalty, your subject would be endlessly grateful.
When the reading ended, the entire assembly hall fell so silent that even breathing could barely be heard. The ministers’ gazes darted back and forth. No one dared speak easily.
“...How curious.”
Grand Master of Ceremonies Yu Eon tapped the table with his fingertips and muttered.
“He performed a great service yet asked for nothing. Can we truly still call him a bandit?”
Commandant of the Imperial Gardens Yang Pyo nodded.
“If tens of thousands of bandits achieved military merit and then dispersed… it is difficult to simply label them as bandits.”
At that, Grand General Ha Jin rose to his feet with a hardened expression.
“However, did that man not illegally occupy Mount Tai and collect passage tolls from the people? Raising an army and collecting taxes is a right that belongs solely to the court. No matter what merit he has, this is already treason!”
Rear General Won Oe stepped forward.
“But if that ‘illegal occupation’ drove out other bandit groups and restored public order, then it is something that should be praised. If he wears the appearance of a bandit but acts like a righteous army…”
Yang Pyo added, “If we are to weigh whether his faults or his merits are greater… his merits appear to come first. We must also consider that he performed the task that the imperial army should have carried out.”
Ha Jin clenched both fists at the words of Won Oe and Yang Pyo.
“So you are saying we should reward a bandit?”
Those who followed Grand General Ha Jin also defended him.
“The Grand General is correct. Moreover, the crime of privately raising and moving an army still remains, does it not?”
The atmosphere began to split. One side argued that the merit achieved outweighed the fact that they were bandits. The other side insisted that illegally occupying territory and raising an army in secret constituted treason. As this heated debate raged, the center of the court shook violently.
At that moment, Emperor Ling, still seated on the dragon throne, tapped the table with his finger.
All eyes turned toward the emperor.
Emperor Ling slightly raised the corners of his mouth and spoke.
“What a strange fellow.”
His words were short and decisive.
“He performed a great service yet did not flaunt it. He calls himself a citizen while wearing the mask of a bandit and bows his head before the court… yet he still holds a sword.”
For the first time in a long while, Emperor Ling wore an expression of genuine interest as he threw the court into turmoil.
“Therefore… it would not be bad for Us to confirm this personally.”
Emperor Ling quietly pointed at one of the eunuchs standing beside him.
“Send this man to Yanzhou. Have him meet the one called Jang Yeon and determine where his true intentions lie. Also, convey Our will that since he has indeed performed a service, We shall weigh both his merits and faults and reward him accordingly.”
He said nothing more.
The court ministers bowed their heads and accepted the emperor’s command. When the session ended, the ministers scattered like birds taking flight. However, not everyone left.
A few senior ministers—Grand Master of Ceremonies Yu Eon, Commandant of the Imperial Gardens Yang Pyo, Rear General Won Oe, and others—exchanged glances before gathering again in a secluded spot outside the palace.
“To think His Majesty would personally send someone…”
Yu Eon spoke first.
“If the man called Jang Yeon’s merits outweigh his faults, the court could simply decide on an appropriate reward… yet His Majesty insists on sending a eunuch. Hmm.”
Yang Pyo twisted the corner of his mouth and muttered as if to himself.
“He isn’t thinking of granting him an official post, is he?”
Won Oe shook his head and laughed at Yang Pyo’s words.
“Surely not. No matter how eccentric His Majesty may be, would he really bestow office upon a bandit?”
Yu Eon lowered his voice even further.
“His Majesty is more accustomed to… selling offices rather than bestowing them as rewards.”
Yang Pyo and Won Oe nodded. For a while, the three men looked at one another and smiled silently. Behind those smiles lurked an ominous premonition that yet another one of Emperor Ling’s “bizarre incidents” was about to begin.