The False Son of Heaven (5)
I pulled on the reins and urged my horse forward. The Wuhuan bastards floundering in the mud at the base of the hill were still thrashing around helplessly.
“What the hell is that, cavalry or infantry?”
The Wuhuan horsemen struggling in the mud were no longer an army. At best, they were nothing more than screaming chunks of meat or corpses skewered on spear tips.
“Fucking idiots. So this is what the so-called ‘bearers of Heaven’s Mandate’ look like. What a goddamn sight.”
I turned my head and looked back. Behind me, the eight hundred cavalrymen I had personally trained waited silently for my command. These bastards were quietly soothing their horses, biting their dry lips, and making final preparations.
“Did you send the signal to the others around us?”
“Yes, Chief. Once our cavalry charges in, the troops on both flanks will begin their full advance.”
“Good. Still, they’ve got the numbers, so let’s be careful.”
I drew my sword and raised it high above my head. Then I narrowed my eyes once more, scanning for the fake Son of Heaven I had spotted earlier. My gaze soon locked onto one spot.
A gleaming golden suit of armor in the middle of the mud pit. The bastard had already abandoned his horse and was flailing around, completely covered in filth. His purple cloak had lost all its color and was now stained a shit-brown.
“Look at the Son of Heaven rolling around covered in actual shit. Keheheh.”
I almost burst out laughing but held it in. It wasn’t time to laugh with satisfaction yet. I’d save that for later.
“Listen up, all of you!”
At my shout, every cavalryman lifted his head at once.
“Today we’ve been fighting hard against these so-called bandits and this so-called Son of Heaven.”
The tip of my sword slowly pointed forward.
“See that bastard over there covered head to toe in mud? He kept bragging about receiving Heaven’s Mandate, and now he’s rolling around in a fucking puddle like the pathetic clown he is.”
Low chuckles—or maybe sighs—rippled through the ranks of horsemen.
“So here’s what we’re going to do today. It’s simple.”
I thrust my sword straight out and roared.
“We’re going to catch that expensive bastard who claims to carry Heaven’s Mandate and cash in big time!! Once we get that fat reward, I’ll treat you all to as much meat and ass as you can handle, so make damn sure you catch him! Got it!?”
“““WOOOOOOOOO!!!!”””
Talking about duty or justification to a bunch of bandits turned soldiers was pointless. But the moment I mentioned meat and women’s asses, their eyes flipped and they looked ready to charge.
Fuck, these kinds of guys are way more reliable.
With men who had no reason to stab me in the back, the black banners fluttered wildly as eight hundred sets of hooves slammed into the ground at once. The Black Mountain Army’s eight hundred cavalry. It was time to turn this slaughterhouse into absolute hell.
The cavalry positioned behind the Black Mountain infantry at the rear of the hill poured down the slope like a tidal wave. Without slowing for even a second, they slammed straight into the Wuhuan cavalry’s flank. The charging horses had their eyes wide open, accelerating as they thundered down from the high ground.
“Fuck! Meat! Women!! Kill them all!!”
The spear cavalry at the front, following right behind me, leveled their weapons. The spear tips, boosted by momentum, aimed directly for the Wuhuan horsemen’s heads.
—Squelch!
The momentum-driven spear pierced straight through a man’s skull as easily as crushing tofu. The headless body dangled from the spear like a slab of meat for a moment before sliding off with a wet thud. The first bastard died without even getting the chance to scream.
The ones nearby tried to resist, but the following wave of cavalry turned them into human pincushions. The Black Mountain horsemen who had driven into their flank didn’t repeat the Wuhuan’s mistake. They rode fearlessly over the unstable path created by the corpses already sinking in the mud, their horses’ hooves trampling the dead without hesitation.
The Wuhuan cavalry were completely defenseless against the Black Mountain charge. Their horses were stuck in the mud and couldn’t move, essentially turning them into infantry. This wasn’t a cavalry battle anymore. It was simply cavalry massacring foot soldiers.
“You bandit bastards— Glurk!!”
A Wuhuan soldier trapped in the mud tried to draw his sword, but his head was severed before he could finish. Blood sprayed from the neck of the man who had been shouting furiously moments ago, dyeing the mud pit red.
Another Wuhuan soldier didn’t even manage a scream before he was crushed beneath thundering hooves. The Black Mountain cavalry punched straight through their lines. And once the cavalry had broken through on the left, the Black Mountain infantry at the front also shifted formation and began their own charge toward the Wuhuan soldiers.
The Black Mountain Army moved according to my orders with a discipline that was hard to believe from bandits. Of course there were still some minor mistakes and uncoordinated movements, but against the now practically defenseless Wuhuan troops, it wasn’t a real problem.
The Wuhuan army began to fall apart piece by piece, like frogs slowly boiling in a pot.
“Fuck your Heaven’s Mandate!! Run!!”
One Wuhuan soldier screamed.
“Hey, fuck it, drop everything! Just run!”
“Our lives come first!”
The Wuhuan soldiers had completely given up on fighting and were collapsing into chaos. Hooves kicked up mud, and screams were swallowed by the blood-soaked mire.
I adjusted my grip on my spear and lifted my head. A strange golden glint caught my eye among the Wuhuan ranks.
“There he is, that son of a bitch.”
A golden suit of armor splattered with mud in the middle of the pit. The purple cloak hung limp and heavy like a clump of dirt soaked in filth, and right in the center of it all was one crazy bastard screaming his lungs out.
The fake “Son of Heaven,” Zhang Ju. The bastard was still swinging his sword and shouting something.
“We are the Son of Heaven! We have received Heaven’s Mandate! Anyone who dares lay a hand on Us is a traitor! You lowly bandit scum!”
A clown stuck in the mud. Around him, a few men who actually looked like they could swing a sword properly were trying to protect him. It seemed he had at least bothered to keep a personal guard, fitting for someone calling himself the Son of Heaven.
But their helmets had been knocked off and their armor was caked in mud. The weight alone looked like it would make moving difficult, yet they still held their swords firmly. It seemed they wanted to live too, as they shouted beside Zhang Ju.
“Your Majesty! It is not too late! Even now, reorganize the troops and retreat to the rear…!”
“We cannot die here! You bastards, clear a path! Clear one, We say! We are retreating to the rear! We will absolutely not die!”
Even while stuck in the mud pit, Zhang Ju puffed out his chest, veins bulging in his neck as he screamed. Seeing a man who was about to die still putting on the act of being the Son of Heaven made me wonder if he was actually insane.
“Save Us! Get Us out of this place!”
A few Wuhuan soldiers, startled by his shouts, tried to make way. But their feet kept sinking into the mud and they stumbled. The thick sludge clinging to their entire bodies made it nearly impossible to clear a path properly.
“We must survive! You swore to serve Us as the Son of Heaven, so you must take responsibility until the end!”
Watching him spout such ridiculous nonsense made the corner of my mouth twitch.
Hey, you fucking idiot. The big fish is sticking its head out of the water begging to be caught. Damn, I’m drooling.
I immediately pulled the reins and increased my speed. From behind, Yu Byeok asked,
“Chief! Are you going yourself?”
“Yeah. When such a fat catch is waving its whole body right in front of me, how can I just sit back and watch?!”
I readjusted my grip on the spear. Behind us, our cavalry were still carving through the Wuhuan ranks, while the Black Mountain infantry were pressing in hard from the front.
“We have more men! Stay calm and fight back!”
“Make way! His Majesty must escape first!!!”
“Stop them! The bandit bastards are coming this way—!”
The royal guards tried to protect Zhang Ju and somehow escape. But escaping from the front of an army of fifty thousand was impossible. Even if they wanted to retreat, the men behind them were moving too slowly. It would have been better to risk everything and break through the left or right flank.
What a bunch of morons.
Watching them, I grinned.
“Are those his royal guards or his enemies? Hey, catch that big fish before he gets too far.”
I whipped my horse harder to pick up speed. A single golden clown covered in shit, throwing a tantrum in the middle of the mud pit. It was time to finish this for real.
The horse neighed as it cut through the mud.
—Hiiiiiiing!!
Mud flew everywhere from its hooves, and the shit-covered golden armor shook violently in the center of my vision.
“Your Majesty!! You must retreat!!”
One of the royal guards beside Zhang Ju shouted as he rushed forward, but the spear that buried itself in his forehead was my refreshing reply.
—Thud!
Blood splattered across my face. I felt the warm spray, but I kept charging forward.
“Get the fuck out of my way, you dog bastards!!!”
My horse slammed straight into the group of royal guards. Some were trampled beneath the hooves, others had their necks pierced by spears and tumbled into the mud. Being royal guards didn’t make them special. Though, to their credit, unlike the other Wuhuan bastards, they fought to the very end.
“Aaargh!”
One of our cavalrymen, whose mobility was hampered, had the misfortune of losing a leg to a royal guard’s desperate slash.
“You sons of bitches! Anyone who dies in a fight we’ve already won, I’ll kill you again after you’re dead!!”
Even as I roared and cut down the royal guards, Zhang Ju continued screaming at the top of his lungs.
“We are the Son of Heaven! Anyone who dares touch Us shall receive Heaven’s punishment!!”
I couldn’t hold back my laughter anymore. I clutched my stomach from atop my horse and laughed out loud.
“Puhahahaha! Look at this guy putting on a one-man show. Hey! It’s the Son of Heaven himself!! Catch that fucking bastard! If you bring him in, I’ll give you so much meat, liquor, women, and money you’ll burst!!”
“““WAAAAAHH!! Meat, liquor, women, money!!!!”””
The cavalrymen following behind went completely wild, slaughtering the royal guards in their frenzy to capture Zhang Ju. The men, consumed by greed, cut down the guards in an instant and charged straight at Zhang Ju.
When Zhang Ju saw the Black Mountain soldiers rushing at him like demons, he let out a choked “Kek!” and tried to dodge. But the mud clinging to his body ruined his balance, and he fell face-first into the filth all by himself.
The few remaining royal guards tried to help him up and flee, but they were quickly shredded by the incoming cavalry. In the end, no one was left around Zhang Ju.
Only our brutish cavalrymen remained, eyes gleaming like hyenas with drool dripping from their mouths.
I slowly rode up in front of Zhang Ju without even dismounting. I simply pointed the tip of my spear at his throat.
“Ah, fuck. Oh great Son of Heaven. I almost didn’t recognize you. Your appearance has changed quite a lot, hasn’t it?”
“We are… We are chosen by Heaven—!”
—Thud!
I kicked him square in the chest with my foot. Zhang Ju rolled back into the mud, choking and coughing as he swallowed filth.
“Chief! Should we tie him up?!”
“Yeah, tie him up tight with rope. But be careful how you handle him. He’s an expensive body. If he just dies like this, you won’t get a single drop of broth. Understand? And the ones who took care of the last royal guards. I’ll give you proper rewards, so get ready.”
At my words, the faces of the men who had finished off Zhang Ju’s final guards lit up with joy. The surrounding cavalry looked at them with envy. Noticing the slight drop in morale, I sighed and added,
“The rest of you will get plenty of meat and liquor too, so straighten up, you bastards. Did you think this chief was going to hog everything for himself? Once we get the reward, I’ll share it with all of you, so why the long faces?”
Only then did the other men’s faces brighten as well.
“I’m breaking my back trying to feed you all, you know. My back is breaking.”
When I grumbled, the men around me burst into loud laughter. Everyone except our fake Son of Heaven, Zhang Ju.
I dismounted and stood before Zhang Ju, whose face was twisted in humiliation. Covered in mud, he coughed again and opened his mouth.
“To treat Us in such a manner… Heaven will never forgive you—!”
—Thud!
I lightly stepped on his face with my foot. Zhang Ju fell backward again.
“Hey, the Son of Heaven act is over now. I’ll send you to where the real Son of Heaven is, so stop barking and wait quietly.”
I pressed the blade of my sword against the fallen man’s chest and said,
“It’s all over now, fake Son of Heaven.”