The Self-Proclaimed Son of Heaven (4)
The northern edge of the Qing Province plains. The Black Mountain Army was retreating at speed toward the hilly terrain. Their formation had fallen apart long ago—or at least, it looked that way.
“Uwaaaak! Save meee!!”
“We’re fucked!! We’re totally fucked, you sons of bitches!!”
Soldiers screaming as they fled were tearing across the line of march. Some had fallen from their horses, others were stripping off their armor and running for their lives. But a good number of them kept their lips tightly shut, eyes focused, maintaining a steady pace as they ran. These men deftly avoided the muddy patches, circling back to their assigned positions.
In other words, this was all an act.
Haa… Fuck.
I glanced behind me. “Looks like about seventy percent of them actually got it through their thick skulls.”
I rode along the line, scanning the flow of soldiers. Here and there I spotted the ones who had genuinely broken. One bastard was foaming at the mouth, pissing himself as he sprinted away.
“…Those fuckers.”
I muttered under my breath. “I’ll deal with them later. We repeated the same drill at least three times. They really ran because they got scared? Shit… even a dog learns after being told three times.”
But now wasn’t the time to punish anyone. I twisted sharply in the saddle, eyes narrowing.
“Right now… we need to reel those bastards in even deeper.”
From behind came the earth-shaking thunder of hooves. The army of the false emperor, Jang Ge. Fifty thousand Wuhuan cavalry were charging hard after the fleeing enemy.
At their head, a figure in gleaming golden armor whipped his horse forward—Jang Ge himself. He rose high in the stirrups atop his furious mount, his polished helmet and ostentatious sword catching the light. Yet nothing about his face or bearing suggested nobility.
“Hah, you pathetic worms! Did you really think a single hill like this could save you—!”
Jang Ge laughed, then roared.
“Do you believe you can stop me? A force of fifty thousand bearing the Mandate of Heaven cannot be denied by some worthless mound!”
One of the Wuhuan riders behind him threw his head back and shouted as well.
“There are hills like this all over Taishan and Liaodong! To us they’re nothing but flat ground!”
“Don’t slow down! If we hit them like this, it’s over!”
They were charging with magnificent momentum, but there was one thing they still didn’t know.
The boundary between the plain and the hills. That middle ground usually went unnoticed. But whenever the Yellow River swelled after heavy rains, it turned into a breathing swamp—thick, sucking mud that lay hidden between the flatlands and the slopes.
Without even turning my head, I shouted.
“Maintain speed! Steady retreat! Anyone who actually runs away gets his skull cracked later. And for fuck’s sake, listen to the damn orders this time!”
The command cracked out, short and sharp. Some of the Black Mountain cavalry widened their eyes. A few realized they’d been caught genuinely fleeing and lowered their heads in shame.
“You bastards. Just keep coming up here. I’ll make sure you taste what a bandit’s spear feels like.”
I shifted my gaze toward the hilltops. There, twenty-three thousand men crouched behind gleaming spears and shields. A black banner fluttered above them.
“Just a little closer, you fuckers. Come on.”
The earth trembled. The false emperor’s army. The hooves of fifty thousand Wuhuan horsemen rolled across the Qing Province plains like a wave. The wind was driven backward, dust blotting out the sky.
“Kill them all!!”
“The bandit scum are right in front of us! Pick up the pace!”
The Wuhuan soldiers’ morale pierced the heavens. Jang Ge rose in his stirrups beneath the lead banner. His golden helmet and purple cloak flashed in the sunlight.
“My mercy has ended! Slaughter every last traitor who dares defy the Mandate of Heaven!”
“Push forward! Trample them before the bandit dogs can run!”
At his words the vanguard crossed the boundary of the plains. The first rider set his horse’s hoof down on that ground.
Squelch.
The hoof sank. What should have been solid earth gave way lightly, softly.
“…Huh?”
The rider looked down. In that instant he saw his horse’s foreleg disappear into the mud.
“Hey, the ground—”
The horse twisted. As it struggled to regain balance, another rider charging from behind slammed into it with a shout.
Boom!
The first horse toppled sideways. Its rider screamed as he was hurled to the ground. “Hey! Sto—”
More riders from behind crashed into the ones in front. Horses collided, men flew helplessly through the air.
“Aaaargh!!”
Blood sprayed. No need to even draw weapons. Once the front riders stalled or slowed, the entire cavalry formation collapsed. Screams echoed as the Wuhuan ranks disintegrated.
From the hill I watched the spectacle unfold. The spearmen still hadn’t moved. They remained crouched in utter silence, observing as the Wuhuan cavalry sank into the mud.
“Boss. This is… they really all fell for it. Are you sure these bastards have brains?”
Yu Byeok stood beside me, mouth agape at how perfectly the fish had taken the bait. “They’re completely trapped. Shouldn’t we just charge in and finish it?”
“It’s going exactly as planned,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “That ground turns into a quagmire every year when the Yellow River floods during monsoon season, you idiots.”
“But… if they sink that deep—”
“They’ll die in droves even without us lifting a finger.” I cut him off. “Horses, men, formation—everything’s getting swallowed.”
Down below, momentum was bleeding away faster and faster. The leading Wuhuan riders slowed, but those behind had no idea what was happening. Still on solid ground, they kept pushing.
“Charge! Don’t stop!!”
“Hey, fuck, I said stop coming!!”
More collisions erupted. The result was a chaotic mess of cavalry tangled in front of us—horses buried in mud, men hurled by impacts, others blindly slamming into the pile. Countless riders were now a single writhing knot.
“Boss. At this rate their formation will collapse on its own. Shouldn’t we hit them now?”
“Just a little longer.” I shook my head. “If we strike now it’ll be sloppy. The spears won’t sink deep enough. We need to pierce them straight through the neck.”
I looked down. Horses were still thrashing to break free. Men tried to calm them or desperately fought to escape the chaos from behind. One poor bastard planted his sword in the mud to lever himself up, only to be trampled and crushed beneath the hooves of another rider charging from the rear.
“We hit them when they try to stand back up. That’s when their heads will split open nicely.”
I wiped the back of my hand across my nose. “Spearmen, prepare.”
“Yes, sir.”
Flags rippled. The spearmen on the hill raised their weapons halfway.
“Boss. The left wing still looks unprepared.”
“Then we wait. We charge only when they’re fully ready.”
By now the Wuhuan cavalry’s frantic attempts to reform their lines in the mud were clearly visible.
“Now. Advance.”
The Black Mountain spearmen who had been crouching on the slope rose as one. In perfect silence. Their armor and helmets were battered, but tightly fastened. Spearheads angled downward. A pair of short drumbeats sounded, and the spearmen moved forward without hesitation, aiming to drive their weapons through the heads of the enemy before them.
The Wuhuan riders below still hadn’t noticed. They were too busy trying to figure out how to pull their horses from the mud.
“The horse won’t move!! Fuck, why is there a swamp here?!”
“Hey, shit—front! They’re coming from the front!”
“Shields!! Get the shields, you morons!!”
It was already too late. Neatly ordered spearheads punched through chests and throats of fallen riders. Their screams and groans died quickly.
“Move, you bastards! The enemy’s coming!!”
“You think I’m not moving because I don’t want to?! There’s no room, you idiot—find a damn shield!”
Horses screamed and kicked uselessly. The entangled Wuhuan cavalry couldn’t even mount a proper defense before spears found their marks.
“Fuck, they’re coming again—block them!”
“Aaaargh! The spear—help!!”
There was no longer any formation. Horses were immobilized. Before the Wuhuan riders could even grab their shields, spearheads had already pierced them somewhere vital. One man tried to seize a spear with his bare hands; the blade simply sliced through his fingers and kept going.
“Fall back!! Fall back, you bastards!!”
“Aargh!! The horse behind me just crushed my leg!! Somebody help, fuck…!!”
They could only scream for their lives. They could not stop the spears.
“The left wing’s spacing is opening up!” Yu Byeok came running.
I wheeled my horse and checked the left. Some spearmen had slowed slightly while avoiding the worst of the mud, creating gaps.
“Slow the center and right as well. Even if the enemy’s in chaos, don’t forget they still outnumber us two to one.”
“Yes, Boss.”
“And tell the men not to press too hard. If they have nowhere to run, they’ll fight desperately to the end and our own losses will grow. Kill enough to keep them panicked, but let some flee.”
“Yes!”
Yu Byeok sent messengers and dashed off in various directions. I turned my eyes forward again. The spearmen were steadily pushing the enemy back, thrusting without pause into the struggling cavalry, advancing through sprays of blood.
“Weapons!! Get your weapons up!!”
“What the—?! Aaaargh!!”
“The bandit dogs are coming!! Stop them!!!”
The enemy cavalry screamed, but once a spear punched through a jaw and out the top of a skull, they fell silent. The man beside him who had been reaching for a shield convulsed as a spear took him through the eye.
“We’re blocked from behind too!! There’s nowhere to go!”
“Fuck it, just abandon them! Run, run!!”
In the mire, horses thrashed wildly. Those trying to free fallen mounts finally began to flee. The Black Mountain Army followed at a measured pace.
This place was no longer a battlefield. It was a slaughterhouse.
I tapped the hilt of my sword with one hand. “Tighten the noose slowly. Don’t waste energy chasing those who run. Just keep squeezing.”
In the slaughterhouse the black banner fluttered in the wind like the reaper himself. The field had become pure chaos. Horses sank into mud, men trampled one another, throats were pierced before swords could even be drawn. Watching it all, I twisted my lips into a grin.
“We’ve got them. This really has become a goddamn slaughterhouse.”
The Wuhuan army couldn’t even move properly as they were pushed back. The Black Mountain spearmen advanced in silence, stabbing and stabbing again. I looked around. The Black Mountain Army was maintaining formation, adjusting their spacing and speed on their own. No one was running anymore.
The fleeing Wuhuan bastards were trapped with nowhere to go, smashing into each other in panic, but the Black Mountain troops simply drove their spears faster.
“All that talk about the Mandate of Heaven, and in the end it meant jack shit. Who cares if you have fifty thousand cavalry if they’ve got no brains?”
That was when a particular figure caught my eye. Golden armor on horseback. The purple cloak was soaked in mud and dragged along the ground. The once-gleaming armor was splattered with filth, its luster gone. From the horse’s hooves to the rider’s thighs and back, the armor was stained yellow as if dipped in sewage.
I narrowed my eyes, then burst out laughing.
“Hahaha! Is that the so-called ‘Son of Heaven’?! Fuck!”
I couldn’t stop laughing. “Hey, Yu Byeok! You see that shit-covered yellow armor? That’s the guy who received the Mandate of Heaven?”
Yu Byeok nodded, looking equally dumbfounded. “Yes. That appears to be the false emperor, Jang Ge.”
“Ah, fuck. He shows up wearing golden armor like some emperor and ends up looking like this. It’s hilarious.”
I spat out the bitter saliva in my mouth. “Khaak, ptui. Good. Once we take that bastard’s head, this is over.”
I turned my horse and looked back. There, waiting, were the eight hundred Black Mountain cavalry I had carefully nurtured. I’d invested heavily in them, which was why the rest of the army still used inferior equipment. It was time for them to earn their keep.
“I put so much effort into raising you. If any of you actually run this time, I’ll kill you myself.”
I growled at the tense riders, then spoke to Yu Byeok.
“Alright. Let’s finish this.”
“Yes?”
I pulled the reins and rode forward. The waiting cavalry’s eyes followed my movement.
“That so-called noble ‘Son of Heaven’ is right there. Shouldn’t we uneducated bastards go pay our respects?!”
“““WOOOOOOOOO!!!”””
I drew my sword and pointed it forward.
“We’re going to take the head of the false emperor!!”