Mom and Mamang (3)
Minwoo steps outside the gukbap restaurant for a moment to catch his breath. Inside, Sujin the server sits with Haram, who is awkwardly staring at the utensil holder while gauging Sujin's mood.
'What should I do......' Haram mutters inwardly, stealing a glance at Sujin. Watching the woman shed tears nonstop, Haram feels like she's losing her mind. From her perspective as an outsider, everyone involved was a victim, and it was undeniably heartbreaking.
It wasn't that she couldn't understand Sujin. After all, she was a woman who had been jerked around by a worthless man and had only recently found peace. Running away had been irresponsible, true. But it was also true that she had destroyed herself trying to take responsibility in her own way. The problem was simply that her children could never accept the method she chose.
Given her naturally kind personality, Haram begins to feel guilty for having snapped at Sujin without thinking.
"Um... ma'am."
"Ah... I'm sorry."
The moment she is spoken to, Sujin immediately apologizes and moves her dazed body to wipe her tears. Looking at her, Haram forces a smile.
"...Have you ever thought about facing your children?"
When Haram asks carefully, Sujin looks slightly surprised before answering.
"Of course... I have. I missed them so much... I wanted to hold them, but I couldn't bring myself to."
"......"
"I wanted to earn money and hug them proudly, to raise them without any shortcomings... but my greed was too much."
With those words, Sujin begins to sob, saying she can no longer be forgiven.
"I've done something unforgivable... So I'm truly sorry......"
"Ah......"
Haram tries to speak but closes her mouth again.
'What am I supposed to do?!'
This is bad. No matter where she steps, it feels like a landmine ready to explode. The sensation that such mines are buried everywhere makes her breath catch in her throat.
'It might be meddling, but still... I can at least say something.'
Thinking that, Haram lets out a long sigh and looks straight at Sujin with clear eyes.
"Even if you can't be forgiven, I think you still need to apologize."
Having watched Jiwoo and Minwoo all this time, and now getting to know Suhyun as well, there are things she can clearly see. Sujin may never be forgiven, but if those three never even receive an apology, that would undeniably be Sujin's fault.
"...You're right. But will they even meet me?"
Sujin says this with a bitter expression. Haram gently touches her hand.
"They definitely will. Apologize first, then try again. That trash isn't around anymore, so you'll probably do better this time."
"...That is."
"Minwoo has a really deep heart. Jiwoo is kind too... Especially Suhyun unni—she still seems to miss you a lot."
"Suhyun does...?"
Sujin lifts her head in surprise. Haram smiles awkwardly and scratches her head.
"Well... to be precise, it seems like she's living trapped in the past."
"......"
"Her PTSD is severe... She's improved a little, but she's still in a lot of pain, both mentally and physically... She's probably still trapped back then."
Though their time together had been short, that was how Haram had observed Suhyun. Unknowingly trapped in the past, clinging to the only person who had ever given her love. Never dyeing her hair, never changing her hairstyle from childhood until now—as if she refused to erase any trace of Sujin.
"That's also why I think they'll meet you."
"...I see."
"Jiwoo, I'm not sure about... She really hates you."
While explaining Suhyun's situation, Haram also mentioned Jiwoo. Sujin bows her head deeply, her expression pained.
"I suppose so......"
"Still, you need to apologize."
"...I will. If they just agree to meet me, I'll apologize even if they curse me out."
Sujin wipes her flowing tears once more and takes a deep breath. Watching her, Haram finds herself hoping this family can somehow work things out.
'If only they could understand each other...'
"First... I'll try calling them again. They might not come... There's no guarantee this will last forever."
"I understand... Thank you."
Sujin smiles gently. Even past forty, her beauty is striking enough to surprise Haram.
"Uh, I'll go make the call first."
"Take care."
With those words, Haram hurries out of the gukbap restaurant. Sniffling sounds continue from inside. And right in front of the restaurant, Minwoo is squatting on the ground, sobbing.
"Minwoo...?"
"Noona."
"......"
Without thinking, Haram crouches down beside him. As if possessed, she strokes his head and answers.
"Why did you call me?"
"...I heard everything."
"What?"
"......The conversation between you and Mom."
Minwoo looks up at her with wet eyes. Haram scratches her cheek awkwardly.
"Did I meddle too much?"
"...Thank you."
"...!!"
Seeing her flustered expression, Minwoo smiles faintly and thanks her. The sight strikes Haram straight in the heart. Unaware of this, Minwoo continues speaking.
"...Honestly, I don't want to forgive her."
"Y-yeah, I figured."
"Because of what happened to our eldest noona. I don't even want to understand."
"......"
"Still... I want to at least receive an apology. Whatever comes after that, we can figure it out later."
Minwoo says this, indicating he'll try to think positively. Haram smiles affectionately, squeezes his hand, and whispers.
"...You're so kind, our Minwoo."
"...Q-quickly call the noonas. Mom's waiting."
Minwoo's face flushes bright red. Realizing what she's done, Haram blushes as well and nods quickly.
* * *
Holding Yeon-a and Jiwoo's hands, they head back toward the gukbap restaurant.
"Suhyun, will you be okay?"
"Yeah... I'm okay, Yeon-a. I can do this."
She truly wants to have a real conversation with Mom. Mom might hate or loathe her. As a child born from rape, that reaction would be understandable. But because Mom was the first person to ever give her love, she wants to hear why she was abandoned.
Just as she steels herself again, Jiwoo's phone begins ringing loudly.
"Jiwoo, whose call is it?"
"Just a second?"
Jiwoo checks her phone. The name displayed reads "White Cow."
"It's Haram."
"W-why is Mamang's number saved like that......"
"It's unnecessarily big."
"Minwoo likes it... so it's useful, right?"
"He's your little brother, Suhyun."
Yeon-a strokes my head while saying this. I feel slightly embarrassed, as though I've somehow turned my sibling into a pervert.
"I'll answer it first."
Jiwoo puts the call on speaker. Haram's slightly subdued voice comes through.
[Hello, Jiwoo.]
"Speak."
When Jiwoo responds, Haram asks if Suhyun is there.
[Um... is Suhyun unni with you? I wanted everyone to hear this together.]
Jiwoo holds the phone out toward me. Knowing what it means, I speak up a little awkwardly.
"Y-yes, I'm here, Haram......"
[Ah, it's on speakerphone.]
Hearing Haram's slightly embarrassed tone, Jiwoo's expression seems to soften a little.
"So why? Is something wrong?"
[You know that address you sent? I went there... and met Mom.]
At the mention of Mom, Jiwoo's loosened expression hardens again.
"Ah... the address."
[So, um... Minwoo and I talked with the lady for a bit.]
Hearing this, I start worrying about Minwoo. Jiwoo seems to feel the same and quickly asks about him.
"Minwoo? Is he okay? He didn't get too shocked or anything?"
[He was fine at first... Minwoo didn't have many memories of Mom, but after hearing everything, he seemed pretty angry.]
[Noona... I'm okay. Haram noona comforted me.]
"Ah, okay."
Jiwoo answers flatly. Haram laughs awkwardly and continues.
[Anyway... the lady said she wants to apologize to you and unni, so I called. Would that be okay? If not, well... can't be helped.]
Hearing those words, my heart stirs. It means Mom wants to talk to me too. At the very least, the chance of her hating me has decreased, so I'm fine with it. But Jiwoo sighs, her brows furrowed.
"...That lady, now of all times?"
"J-Jiwoo-ya......"
[...Still, you should accept the apology, Jiwoo. You've been through so much.]
Haram is right. Since Jiwoo was harmed, she deserves to receive an apology. Knowing this, Jiwoo takes a deep breath before speaking.
"We were actually heading there anyway. Unni said she wants to talk to that lady."
[Really...? Jiwoo, are you okay?]
"I was planning to wait outside and go in if unni started crying or something... but since I'm getting an apology anyway, I might as well hear what she has to say."
Jiwoo snorts. When I tightly squeeze her hand, she lets out a fake cough.
"Ahem! Anyway, we're on our way."
[Okay, see you later. See you later too, unni. Kits-nim too!]
With that, the call ends. Yeon-a, Jiwoo, and I silently make our way toward the gukbap restaurant with heavy steps.