Stepping Outside
Outing (2)
Once again, the room had darkened. Lying on the bed, I pulled out my phone.
"Going out..."
First, I needed to let my family know I'd decided to step outside. Yeon-a alone wouldn't be enough. Even though I'd overcome sunlight, I still couldn't handle the biggest hurdle—people's stares. I needed at least enough people to shield and hide me.
"Yeon-a... Jiu... Minu... Haram... With four people, we should be able to cover me comfortably."
Minu was a police academy student, so he could probably protect me perfectly.
"...I'm the one who should be protecting them."
It felt awkward to say I was protecting them now. Receiving protection from my younger siblings still weighed on me. It was like something heavy piling up in my chest.
After hesitating for a long while, I took a deep breath and sent a message to the group chat.
"Sent...!"
Smiling proudly at having sent the message, I waited eagerly for a reply. My head was full of thoughts about how soon the responses would come. My heart pounded, unsure what kind of reaction I'd get. That small heart of mine raced again, tormenting me.
—Thump, thump, thump. Beating so hard it hurt.
"...I hope they're happy."
I wanted them to be glad. I wanted them to see how much I was improving. It felt like I wanted to show them I was living earnestly. So I smiled softly, hoping for a quick reply.
Before long, the "1" indicating unread messages disappeared.
"...They read it...!"
A moment later, a message from Minu arrived in a tone of disbelief.
"He must be really surprised."
I could picture Minu making a fuss. He was probably standing next to Jiu with his mouth hanging open, calling me "noona" over and over.
"...He never looked like the type to become a cop... Why did he choose that path?"
He'd always been a delicate, cute little brother who followed Jiu and me around. At some point he'd started working out, bulked up, and gotten into the police academy. It was worth raising him. Thankfully, both Minu and Jiu felt indebted to me, which gave me even more strength to keep going.
"I have to live..."
Now I was living because I wanted to, not because I was afraid of dying. That fact was so precious that my thoughts briefly wandered.
"...I should reply."
How could I get lost in thought and forget to reply? After some deliberation, I finally typed out a response.
Just as Jiu and Minu started bickering and giggling, I suddenly wanted to hear their voices.
"...Would it be okay to call?"
Even as I said that, my body was already moving as if possessed. Before I knew it, I'd pressed the call button in the group chat.
"Hue...!?"
Startled, I tried to hang up and ask for permission again, but—
"Ugh... ughk."
Both of them had already picked up. The unexpected call left me stunned for thirty seconds.
* * *
Somehow, I managed to explain to the kids why I was going outside.
"Well... my friend said she'd help, and I thought you two would like it too."
When I smiled awkwardly after saying that, Jiu replied that she was really happy.
"B-but air conditioners are expensive... and the place is small."
Minu agreed with her. When both of them spoke up for me like that, it was hard to refuse.
"O-okay... Then let's buy that too......"
After saying that, Jiu went silent for a moment before quickly correcting herself.
"Ah, I know, Jiuuu... I don't see you two that way anymore... You're precious family, after all......"
When I smiled softly, Jiu let out a relieved sigh.
I quickly opened the donation list to check how much had accumulated.
"Hoo, donations don't exactly pour in, so... let's see."
"That... I should probably return it......"
Jiu stopped me, and Minu grumbled that calling him a goldfish was too much. Listening to their affectionate bickering, I chuckled and listed the earnings so far.
"F-four hundred... I made that much?"
Both of them celebrated with me. Smiling softly, I closed the window and stared blankly at my phone.
"It's... nice......"
The income was on a completely different level compared to when I'd been stuck working at factories under Dad's shadow. Since Yeon-a and Haram had contributed a lot, I wanted to repay them.
"Y-you guys... It makes me sad when you fight."
When I said that hesitantly to my bickering siblings, they instantly went quiet. Then, after clearing their throats, Jiu asked when we'd meet.
"I don't know... We should probably make a group chat and coordinate schedules......"
Yeon-a and Haram both had schedules, so we'd need to work around them. We'd discuss that later. For now, I just wanted to fully enjoy this time talking with my siblings.
"I... haven't been saying 'tho' lately, right?"
"Right... hehe......"
Even though I'd blurted out something random, they responded right away. Smiling softly, I thought it might be nice to bring them on stream sometime.
"Maybe I should take you two on stream later... Yeah... If you don't want to, you don't have to come."
Honestly, I hoped they'd come even if they didn't want to, but having their big sister pester them felt wrong, so I just smiled awkwardly while sweating.
"M-Minuuu... That's not okay..."
"...You're sweet, Minu."
"I want to pat your head... but we're not together, so... I'll do it when we meet."
I smiled awkwardly. Minu muttered something about how old he was to still get head pats.
"D-don't want it...?"
Minu seemed to just be embarrassed, so I let out a relieved sigh and smiled softly with my eyes closed. I felt so happy it almost didn't feel allowed.
"...I love you, kids. Sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I've been so pathetic......"
"You used to say it so easily when we were little......"
Minu laughed, asking when that was. After saying goodbye and hanging up, I contacted Haram.
I sent one message, and Haram suddenly went off like a rocket. Startled, my eyes widened as she deleted the message.
Looking at her, a chuckle escaped me.
Haram said she was thrilled about going on a date with her two daughters.
'They're both older than you, though......'
Muttering that to myself, I smiled softly.