The Log Feels Light (4)

After pulling off a clutch 2v4 and securing a quadra kill, I glanced over at the chat window. A flood of cheers poured in.

Amid the endless praise, I smiled awkwardly and thanked everyone, my face turning red.

"Th-thank you… I'm grateful……"

"I-I'm not cute… P-please stop embarrassing me."

I had wanted the compliments, but being called cute was mortifying. While I covered my face with one hand out of embarrassment and kept attacking monsters, Maman approached from beside me.

"Ah… Thank you."

Maman's eyes sparkled as she demanded an explanation. My face flushed again. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠It felt like I'd been acknowledged, and my small chest started pounding once more. I wasn't usually like this. I wasn't the type to get excited over little things like this… But when I play EoW, it feels like I'm not myself anymore.

'I don't even think about my PTSD… It feels like I've become someone.'

Caught up in that feeling, I couldn't contain my excitement and started blurting out TMI.

"…I-I get the buff, then flat QE, flat W, hold with the shield, keep following with micro mouse control on E bounces, then when the ult stealth speed boost goes beyond prediction, I just follow and it's easy."

"Yep… It's easy. Want to try our Suika sometime…?"

When I asked carefully, Haram hesitated. A thoughtful silence followed. I couldn't let this chance slip, so I waved my hands wildly and started pitching. Not that it was likely to work.

"Ah……"

Right. This person wasn't a person—she was a cat. I'd forgotten for a moment.

'N-newbies shouldn't quit EoW…!'

Thinking that, I was about to leave an opening by saying I'd teach her later when—

I was internally damaged. Those black worms hitting me with facts so cowardly.

"Sob, Jireongis… B-ban that one……"

When I asked for a ban, Minu and Jiwoo actually banned it. Satisfied, I smiled and finished what I'd been about to say to Haram.

"…I'll definitely teach you next time…! J-just the two of us together!"

"It's fine! M-my blood pressure is on the low side… Ah, or is it? High?"

After finally getting her agreement, I declared firmly that she absolutely couldn't back out.

"You absolutely can't back out…!"

"…D-do you not want to learn from me…? You seem unenthusiastic."

At that, Haram quickly denied it and said she'd definitely do it.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"…N-no thank you."

I reflexively refused the sudden suggestion. Haram looked slightly hurt as she followed me around, asking for a reason in a drooping voice while casting a shield on me.

"I-it's because a real-life collab would mean a cam stream, right…? I-I just don't want to be compared."

"…M-my chest……"

People who caught on from just the first syllable giggled. I covered my face, overwhelmed with embarrassment. I wasn't particularly conscious about it being small. After all, I had no interest in that sort of thing. Before I could worry about it, my mind had collapsed, and after that my body had collapsed from work. I never had time to care, so now I wasn't particularly sad or bothered that that part of my body hadn't grown.

'…She'll probably tease me.'

I didn't want to be teased by people. For some reason, the past was creeping up on me.

"…My ch-chest pocket… I-I'm scared of being compared……"

People kept giggling. Unable to bear the embarrassment, I quickly ran off to pick up my other teammates.

Thanks to everyone comforting me like that, I felt even more embarrassed.

'They're worrying and liking me this much, and I'm having weird worries… Embarrassing!!'

"Aaaaaah…!!!"

Just like that, the first scrim game ended in under twenty minutes because of my embarrassment-fueled rampage. For reference, the average EoW game time is thirty minutes.

Thanks to that, I got to hold a whopping 1,155,000 won all at once.

"…H-how many chickens is that… W-wow……"

My head went blank from the amount. I kept thanking everyone until I eventually overloaded and just smiled blankly.

"……"

Yeon-a asked teasingly, saying my blank stare was cute. I timidly answered yes and urged her to pick the private members quickly.

"P-pick the private members quicklyyy… Ugh……"

After that, we played about three more private games. Due to balance issues, we ended up matched against the Yeon-a & Haram alliance. Thanks to that, I had no choice but to play while extremely nervous among strangers.

"Huh… We won."

Of course, when I came to my senses, we had already won.

"R-really…?"

I smiled awkwardly and first thanked everyone who came for the scrim by calling their usernames.

"I-I love you all… Th-thank you!"

After hearing the cheers from the guys, I quickly moved to the Discord room and waited for Yeon-a and Haram. One by one, the two entered.

They said that while shrinking back. Honestly, I hadn't expected them to be this bad, so I could only hesitate.

'N-no matter what I say, it'll be a mistake…!!'

No matter what I said, it felt like I'd mess up. People giggled at me as I stiffened up like that.

People kept turning me into an increasingly arrogant person. My head started spinning from how dizzying it was.

After somehow offering comfort to Haram and Yeon-a, I let out a sigh and hung up the phone.

"Huuu… That was exhausting."

People were shedding tears. But since I wanted to sing, I added echo to the mic.

"I-I have to sing…!"

Just like that, the legendary tearful song afterparty began.