Opening the Curtains
"Let's do a collab!"
"A collab?"
"Huh…?"
Jiwoo and I tilted our heads at the same time. Haram smiled brightly and continued explaining.
"I mean, you want to get closer, but you need a good excuse, right?"
"Y-yeah…"
"Then I'll be that excuse for you!"
She placed a hand on her chest, eyes sparkling.
"So, what should we collab on…?"
"EoW, obviously. I already promised to teach you, remember?"
"Ah… stray cat."
"Eek…!"
When Jiwoo asked what a "stray cat" was, Haram quickly shushed her. I watched them blankly for a moment before asking if Yeon-a played EoW too.
"Does Yeon-a… play EoW as well?"
"Yep. Kits is a perpetual Bronze like me, so we duo a lot."
"I-I see."
"I'll treat you as my teacher from now on."
Haram bowed her head. Flustered, I bowed back and told her to take good care of me.
"Please take care of me too."
"Sounds good!"
"But… wouldn't it feel awkward if we suddenly started collabing?"
"We could practice over voice calls first. Wouldn't that help?"
"…I-I'm scared."
Honestly, I was terrified. After all, I'd been the one to cut things off with Yeon-a, and she seemed… different now.
The way she sounded on the phone this morning was so dark, even if her stream persona looks the same.
Worry gnawed at me. What if she'd grown bitter? That was my biggest fear.
"If she's become mean… I don't think I could handle it."
"……"
"……"
The two of them fell silent. My breathing grew ragged, panic creeping in. I felt like I was dying. The rough breaths wouldn't stop.
"Haa… W-what if Yeon-a hates me? What do I do then?"
"Unni, calm down."
"Jiwoo…"
Jiwoo carefully wrapped her arms around me, avoiding my injuries, and whispered that everything would be okay. Her embrace felt warm and safe.
"It's okay, Unni. It'll be fine."
"Huuu…"
"Deep breaths. Stay calm."
She kept soothing me until my breathing steadied.
"Huu… haa… That's it, good job."
"…Huuu."
"Feeling a little better?"
"Y-yeah."
Jiwoo patted my head and said that was enough. I thanked her, then looked at Haram.
"It'll be okay, Unni."
"……"
"If she says anything mean, I'll scold her myself. Really."
Haram was doing her best to reassure me. She seemed convinced that meeting Yeon-a could change my situation, and kept encouraging me.
"I'll make sure you don't get hurt."
"…Th-then, could you ask her if she's okay with it?"
"Of course. If she agrees, that probably means she feels the same way you do, right?"
"D-do you think so?"
"I do."
Haram smiled. I gave her a timid smile in return, cold sweat trickling down my back.
"…I-I hope she'll be happy about it…"
"Your voice is shrinking."
"I-I'm just nervous about meeting her after so long."
I really was nervous. If that morning call hadn't been cut short, maybe none of this would've happened.
I hope Yeon-a wants to be friends with me too.
Muttering that to myself, I sat there blankly while Jiwoo and Haram showered me with head pats.
"By the way, that was really cool of you, Unni."
"Yeah, good job. If something's bothering you, talking it out like that is the way to go."
They kept patting me until I was sure my scalp would wear away. My head was getting hotter by the second. Worried I might actually get burned, I shrank back and mumbled,
"D-don't treat me like a kid…"
"Nope. You're a whole year older than us anyway."
"Exactly. Stop acting like an adult."
"I am an adult… I even carried you on my back when you were little, Jiwoo."
Jiwoo thanked me and patted even faster. Embarrassed beyond belief, my mind went blank. I hiccuped and shoved the last piece of samgyeopsal into my mouth.
"Ugh… I'm gonna throw up."
"Unni!?"
"If you're full, you don't have to eat anymore…!"
They dragged me to the bathroom. Thankfully, nothing came up, but I'd ended up relying on them again.
"S-sorry for worrying you."
"Then talk to me casually too."
"Huh…?"
"Why do you hate the idea so much?!"
When I made an awkward face, Haram looked devastated.
"I even helped you out… I thought we were pretty close by now."
"I-I just… I feel like someone as pathetic as me shouldn't…"
I scratched my cheek with an awkward laugh. Haram slumped down in front of the toilet I was sitting on, looking completely deflated.
"We could live without walls between us and it'd be fine."
"Just use casual speech once, Unni. She's stubborn—if she gets fixated on something, she'll beg until the day she dies."
"Ugh…"
"Don't look at me like I'm being annoying…!!"
"It's true. Stop bothering Unni and back off."
Jiwoo grabbed Haram by the arm and dragged her out while she made a pitiful face. I smiled awkwardly at the sight.
"D-do you really want me to use casual speech…?"
"Yes!!"
"Eek… loud."
"Sorry!!"
Haram hugged me tightly.
"Ugh… I can't breathe."
"Ah, sorry, hehe."
She let go, scratching her head sheepishly. Jiwoo looked down at her, face shadowed with disgust.
"…Dairy cow."
"What!? That's too much…!"
Haram sniffled. Jiwoo told her to stop clinging to me.
"Unni is mine."
"Huh…?"
"Keep your distance."
"You're so mean."
Haram puffed out her cheeks. I stared at her for a long moment, thinking.
Is casual speech more comfortable for her…? Then maybe I should do that.
She'd listened to my worries, been kind, and shown me nothing but warmth. I hadn't done a single thing for her in return. The thought that I'd only ever taken hit me all at once, and a small surge of courage welled up.
"H-Haram…!"
"…!!"
"…!!"
Both of them whipped around in surprise. My face burned with embarrassment, so I looked away and asked if that was enough.
"A-are you satisfied now…? If it made you uncomfortable, you can hit me."
Haram reached out. I squeezed my eyes shut—only to feel something soft press against my face.
"Kyaaah! Thank you!"
"…?"
She hugged me and refused to let go, practically vibrating with joy.
"Mmph—mph—!"
After a few protests about not being able to breathe, she finally released me.
"Pwah!"
"Hehe, sorry. I was just so happy."
"…You really like it that much?"
"Yep!"
She answered firmly. Jiwoo sighed and tugged on Haram's ear.
"Geez, were you trying to suffocate our Unni?"
"Eek, I said I was sorry!"
"J-Jiwoo, stop! You can't hit your friend!"
"Ah… Yeah, okay, Unni."
Jiwoo smiled awkwardly and apologized. I wasn't sure why she was apologizing to me, but right after that, Haram started humming and messaged Yeon-a about the collab.
"Hup…!"
Yeon-a's reply came back almost immediately.
"Y-you didn't forget to mention the snake part, right?"
"No, it took her a while to answer, so she probably read everything."
"Hurk…!"
I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was suffocating.
"I-I'm glad…!"
I really was. Just the fact that I could play with Yeon-a again made me happy. She might curse me out or hurt me, but that was my own fault. I'd decided to accept whatever came.
"Huuu…"
"Well, we should get going now."
"Yeah, you must be busy with work, Haram."
"Mhm, time to go."
They stood up. I hobbled after them to the front door on my bad leg and smiled.
"S-see you later…! Jiwoo, and, um, Haram!"
"Hurk!"
Haram covered her mouth with one hand, looking overwhelmed. I laughed and told them to come again before closing the door.
The quiet, dark room came into view.
"…I think I can handle the porch at least."
I pulled out my phone and checked the time.
07:00 PM
It was seven in the evening. The sky was painted with sunset hues, the light no longer harsh. I forced my limping leg forward until I stood in front of the curtains blocking the light.
"……"
If I opened them, sunlight would pour in. Honestly, I was scared. Opening them would let the outside world in, and I'd have to face how pathetic I really was.
But I wanted to change. I didn't want to be that pathetic person anymore. I didn't want people to look at me with pity.
"…You can do it, Suhyun."
Muttering that, I dragged myself closer to the window and reached for the curtain.
"……"
My whole body trembled. It felt like every cell was screaming that this was wrong. The learned fear writhed inside me, refusing to let me open it.
—Shhhk!!
"…Eek!!"
I squeezed my eyes shut and yanked the curtain open.
The breathtaking sunset filled my vision.
"……"
I looked up at the orange sky and smiled.
"…S-see? It was nothing…!"
That simple action had been an enormous step for me. Even so—
"Haa… haa…!! I-I did it…!"
I stood right beneath the window where the light couldn't reach me, gasping for breath and basking in the dopamine of success.