What? Turn Off the Stream and Get the Hell Out?
1.
“U-uhhh…”
I hadn't done a single thing. And yet the viewer count kept climbing without pause. Watching that number rise and rise, I felt the corners of my mouth lift on their own. Something fluttered uselessly behind my ribs.
Growing this fast?
For an opportunity like this to fall into my lap after only one day… I really must be some kind of lucky bastard!
“Eheheh…”
That warm feeling didn't last a full minute.
“U-uh…”
Chat kept scrolling. Strangely, though, I could barely read it. Like my eyes wouldn't focus. I managed a few lines, and none of them were the kind of welcome I wanted. Sure, there were more compliments than anything else. But people always notice the bad stuff first, don't they?
This was the chance I'd been waiting for. Any small-time streamer would kill for a moment like this, and given my actual life situation, I had to grab it with both hands. Who knew if anything like it would ever come around again?
“Uh…”
But the chance looked too big. Like, was this even a size I could carry?
They say opportunity comes to those who are ready. I was pretty sure I wasn't ready. This was my first stream ever, after all.
“Okay. Viewer analysis complete.”
“Can't win.”
The numbers still sat way above my weight class. So what was I supposed to do?
“E-everyone… I have a request…!”
I shot up from my chair and bowed toward the camera. A quick glance at the monitor showed my virtual character ducking her head in perfect sync.
“I-it's too much pressure, s-so please… all of you leave…!”
“Hey, what the hell kind of insane thing are you saying out of nowhere? You want the people who came just to watch you to leave on the spot?”
“She's right, Bullet. Viewers flooding in like this almost never happens. This is a great chance.”
“Y-yeah!”
“You can't do that, Bullet!”
My teammates scrambled to stop me. My mind didn't budge.
“B-but… th-this many people coming in all at once is just… too much pressure… and also…”
“And also?”
“L-looking at the stuff they're typing… i-it's just so disgusting… ugh…”
My whole body shuddered.
“What!?”
“Y-you can't say that—!!!”
“N-no, look at the way these people chat… s-saying my voice is so damn hot… asking how old I am and where I live… begging me to swear at them… uuugh…”
These people were genuinely unhinged.
Back when I was a guy, comments like that barely registered. Now that I was the target, they made my skin crawl. Pure physiological revulsion.
Any normal human would get offended if you called them disgusting. So why the hell were these people enjoying it?
“P-please stop saying that kind of stuff…! ‘I got hard,’ ‘it’s standing’… uwaaah…!”
I bit down hard on my lip and slammed the desk a few times. I genuinely could not take this.
“Hey, calm down! The more you react like that, the more they like it!”
“Exactly. Your reactions are too good, so they keep saying worse on purpose. You know how elementary school kids pick on the kids they like? It's that.”
“Grown adults are doing elementary school crap…?”
“……Probably?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake…”
I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in my hands. Looking at that shit was enough to drive me out of my mind.
“Could be they actually got hard. And is it okay if I say this?”
Something about that made me uneasy, but I was curious what she would say.
“……Go ahead.”
“Honestly I thought it was a little hot too…”
“Wow, d-do you even have a human heart?”
“You're not really one to talk, are you?”
I let out a long sigh. Eyes closed, I tried to figure out how to handle this. No answer came.
Viewers were a log of wood. Too valuable to throw away, too heavy and awkward to just pick up and carry.
But I should still hold on, right? When is a chance like this ever going to come again if I kick it away?
I steeled myself and opened my eyes again.
My resolve didn't even last five seconds.
Crack—
Somewhere inside my skull something snapped. My best guess was that it was my reason.
“F-fuckkkkk…! I-I can't take it anymore…!!!”
“B-Bullet!?”
I finally cracked and abandoned the stream entirely. The second the chat window vanished, a little peace returned.
“Hey, did you just end the stream?”
Heukrangi’s voice was urgent.
“Yeah. I ended it. Why?”
“The people from your stream are over here losing their minds. You little….”
“Same here. Chat’s getting pretty chaotic…”
“Me too! But more viewers feels kinda nice, actually?”
“Oh, same. But yeah, it does feel good, hehe…”
My teammates scolded me one after another.
“Ah…”
Of course. We weren't streaming solo; this was a collab, a tournament practice group. Naturally the refugees were going to crash everyone else's streams and start a riot.
“Okay… I'll turn it back on…”
“Uuuugh, fuck…!”
Seeing the chat go feral again was more than I could stand.
“Hey! You turn it on and kill it again in thirty seconds?! They're over here wrecking my stream—!”
“S-sorry… it felt like something inside me was about to burst out again…”
“What kind of nonsense is that…”
“What is that, Bullet! Kyahaha kyahaha!”
I sighed hard. A few deep breaths to settle my heart and head, then I put my hand back on the mouse.
“I-I'm really turning it on for real this time!”
This time the atmosphere was different. They were definitely pissed; every message was pure aggression.
“Eheheh…”
Watching it, I felt weirdly good. The corners of my mouth climbed without permission.
I had made these people angry! I could control their emotions!
“W-why… you all got to make me mad, but I can't do it back?”
A viewer immediately donated just to swear at me.
“What kind of rule is that. Th-this is my stream… s-so I'll do whatever I want… w-who's holding a knife to your throat and forcing you to watch? G-got a bomb collar on your neck? N-no, you don't…”
They tried to threaten me. I didn't so much as blink. Instead I clasped both hands and begged.
“P-please do. Please leave. Get out of my room. This is my land! My land that I made!!!”
“Ah…”
I'd begged them to leave and the count went up instead.
“O-okay then… p-please watch my stream… I'm begging you…!”
They said they were watching out of pure contrarian spite, so maybe this would make them leave?
“Ah…”
Damned if I did, damned if I didn't. There was no winning. What now?
The only thing that even half-worked was this…
“What? Turn off the stream and get the hell out? Got it. Yeah, I'm really leaving.”
“What!?”
“W-what are you talking about all of a sudden?”
My teammates yelped in shock.
“Ah, Aura. We don't have any more scrims left today, right?”
“No, we don't… but why… all of a sudden…?”
“Heukrangi.”
“Huh? What?”
“I'll leave the rest to you.”
“Assarabiya~ Colombia~”
I hummed a little nonsense tune, powered down the computer, and stood up from the chair. Then I flung myself straight onto the bed.
Everything that happened today was just a gallery-aggravated accident. Tomorrow—tomorrow I would be back to a normal life.
“When tomorrow comes…”
The second my eyes closed, every bit of tension drained out of me. Dreaming of blue sky and open sea, I slipped under.
2.