My Own Sweet Home
My Own Sweet Home
The apartment alone costs 2 billion won.
Getting a loan? There's a Male-Exclusive Loan Product that grants 100% financing just for being male, and since I'll only be living in this world for a year before disappearing, I can ignore the principal.
But what about the 1.5% interest?
'Let's see... 1.5% interest on 2 billion won would be... 30 million won. Divided over 12 months, that's 2.5 million won per month... What the fuck?'
Just by breathing, I'd have a fixed monthly expense of 2.5 million won.
And this is just the cost for housing - one of life's basic necessities (shelter) after removing clothing and food from the equation. 2.5 million won just for the roof over my head.
As someone who used to earn 4 million won per month (barely over 3 million after taxes) as a small-to-medium enterprise salaryman in my previous world, this was an astronomical amount I couldn't handle. My head, already dizzy from not getting proper sleep since early morning, spun as my body sank deep into the gaming chair.
"Hey hey, he collapsed!"
"Fuck yeah, perfect! Now's our chance!"
Perfect my ass!
Just as I was sinking into the gaming chair with the weak thought of facing reality and giving up...
They must have thought I'd fallen asleep, because they seized the opportunity, abandoning their games and charging at me like hyenas!
Hey, you were in the middle of a ranked game! Are you insane, you crazy bitch?!
Seeing them charging with fire in their eyes like vultures, their appearance overlapped with that rapist who assaulted me in the motel room yesterday. A surge of strength returned to my spirit that was crumbling helplessly before the monstrous reality.
"Oh oh~ Nuna♡ I'm at OO PC Bang. Oh my, I like 3 Major 500 too, just like my nuna~"
Emergency tactic!
Pretending to have a strong, sturdy girlfriend with 3 Major 500!
Sensing the unusual glint in the eyes of the women charging toward me, I naturally straightened up in my chair, pulled out my phone from my pocket, and held it to my ear.
I began spouting the lines I had prepared for such situations.
"Huh? 3 Major 500 is my girlfriend...?"
"Ha, fuck! Of course! With that face, no way you wouldn't have a girlfriend!"
"You have a girlfriend? ...Even better, hehehe!"
That's right - sometimes fists are closer than the law. At my mention of a fictional 3 Major 500 girlfriend, the hyenas approaching me stopped in their tracks.
But what was that last line...?
Still, I knew.
That this level of lie couldn't fool all the hyenas.
"But your smartphone screen isn't on - are you really on a call?"
"It turns off when you put it to your ear, you stupid bitch!"
"No, I mean the screen wasn't on from the moment you pulled it out of your pocket?"
"Really...? Don't tell me..."
Look at that! They're already sprouting seeds of suspicion and slowly creeping closer!
Still, not all the women had reached the point of suspicion yet. Keeping the phone pressed to my ear, I pressed the 'End Use' button in the top right corner of the monitor to stop my PC bang session, then naturally stood up and headed toward the exit...
Whoosh-dada-dak~!!
"Uh...uh?! Hey, that bastard's running! The 3 Major 500 girlfriend was a lie!"
"Fuck! I spent over 50,000 won on frozen food tributes over three days... Get him!"
"I spent over 30,000 won just on drinks!"
"I have pure feelings too. If you trample on my pure heart like this, then I'll have to become a thug, you know?"
Kyaaak! Help me~!!
And when did I ever threaten you with a knife demanding tributes? You sent them of your own accord!
Like the Pied Piper, I led the angry mob who kept shouting about how much tribute they'd sent me, and after running for a while, I almost ended up starring in '100 vs 1, Caught and Storm Fucked.avi' until finally...
"Huff huff huff... How can a man run so well?"
"The men I know complain their legs hurt just from walking too long, let alone running. Is he some kind of military-trained high school boy or something..."
"But hide-and-seek ends now! No matter how fast a man runs, he can't outrun women! And why did you run into a dead end of all places?"
"Our tribute money. Time to collect it back, right? Of course, you'll have to pay with your body, kukuku~"
The place I reached while fleeing the angry mob was none other than a parking lot blocked by a 5-story building ahead and partition walls on both sides.
In other words, just as the woman said, it was a dead end.
"When did I ever ask you to buy me frozen food? When did I beg you for drinks? You sent the food of your own accord, so how can you persecute an innocent person like this!"
Though I had my reasons for desperately fleeing here, I felt both wronged and absurd, so I shouted at the women surrounding me.
"Well, you didn't directly ask us to buy them, right?"
"But you were muttering to yourself 'Ah, this looks delicious! The weather's cold, if someone would buy me hot chocolate, my heart would melt and my wariness toward them would melt too... Oh my, what am I saying~' while giving us sidelong glances and smiling with your eyes, weren't you?"
"What about with the dumplings? 'Wow, these look just like women's breasts. I wonder how it would feel to take a bite?' you said, right?"
...Did I say that?
Thinking back carefully, I had little money, was hungry, and food prices were outrageously expensive, so I might have said those things hoping they'd buy me something...
"Fuck, and then what~? Innocent person? You played with people's hearts, you damn stray cat, so you need to take responsibility. You just took everything for three days and then ran away?"
"Want to taste these dumpling-like breasts you were curious about?"
I shouldn't have shouted - not only did I fail to recover my losses, but I triggered the women's berserker mode.
But as I said earlier, I had my reasons for fleeing here!
Creak!
"Ladies, do you have business with our OO Bank? If not, I'd appreciate if you wouldn't cause any more disturbances in front of OO Bank~"
Just as the angry mob was about to pounce on me.
The door of the 5-story building that had been blocking my back like a dead end opened, revealing a sturdy-built woman.
Her uniform clearly identified her as a security guard, and her athlete-like muscles transformed the women from 'can't control anger' to 'controls anger well.'
That's right.
The building I mistakenly thought was a dead end was none other than the bank that had introduced me to the Male-Exclusive Loan Product!
"Me! I have business with OO Bank!"
Though the women had instantly transformed into docile lambs, it was obvious they would charge like mad and kidnap me the moment the anger management physical therapist disappeared, so I quickly raised my hand to identify myself as an OO Bank customer.
"This... Gulp! So this lovely gentleman is our customer."
Uh... oh?
Physical therapist-nim, if you swallow your saliva looking at my face, it makes me anxious?
I already got overpowered by a weak woman with less muscle than an ant's nose - if a muscular physical therapist like that decided to harm me, I knew I'd be killed in one hit.
"Then the rest of you...?"
Crack...!
At the chilling sound from her knuckles, the PC Bang vultures coughed awkwardly and turned away.
Nice! So this is why women in my previous world dated muscular macho men!
"Then I'll guide you to the reception desk, customer-nim."
Having successfully shaken off the angry mob, I followed the OO Bank security guard's guidance to the reception desk.
For a moment, I was afraid she might guide me to a motel reception instead of the bank reception, but according to my PC bang research...
Security guards in this world weren't just about having good bodies and fighting skills - it was a premium job only available to elites who had no criminal record against men as a basic requirement, and could even suppress their sexual desires toward men.
'Well, that's partly why I chose the 2 billion won apartment.'
Though the security guard-nim did swallow her saliva looking at my appearance just now...
Since this body customized by Goddess-nim seems to enchant even such elites, I need to be extra careful.
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"Kyaa~ From now on, this is my Sweet Home!"
Since my only moving possession was my own body, the spacious house felt incredibly empty, but moving from a tiny studio that only had mosquito corpses to a 2 billion won luxury apartment gave me fresh emotions.
First of all, this world had much better benefits for men than I had imagined.
Normally, getting a loan doesn't happen overnight - you need to submit this document and that document, all sorts of paperwork, then go through credit ratings and evaluations, taking anywhere from 1-2 weeks to several months before the loan money comes through.
But in this world - just 5 minutes.
The enormous sum of 2 billion won was deposited into a newly opened account in just 5 minutes, solely because I was male.
"Of course, the loan contract had this strange clause: 'If interest is unpaid for more than 3 months, must perform 3 months of social service'..."
At the time, I thought 'social service' meant doing environmental cleanup on the streets or standing on street corners holding signs about obeying traffic rules, so I brushed it off lightly...
-What is male social service?
Participate in the Love Sharing Project operated by the national government to address the global crisis of declining male population.
It refers to social service where you share love with women in their 30s and 40s who have never experienced love before^^
"Fuck, isn't this just a legally operated entertainment establishment run by the state?!"
Social service my ass!
If North Korea has joy brigades, does South Korea have Love Sharing Projects?!
This isn't even 'if you don't have money, pay with your body' - they just put fancy-sounding phrases like 'social service' and 'love sharing project' on it, but in reality, they want to tie you up in a breeding facility and use you like a rag!
"M...Money. I need money."
And I need a lot of it...