Academy's Four Heavenly Kings
"Do we really have to measure this?"
"Even if you're an adult once you enroll in the academy, you're still in your growth spurt."
Since I was in the middle of a major growth phase, Grand Duke said my clothes might not fit by the time I woke up tomorrow. Come to think of it, I'd just grabbed the uniform roughly off the rack... so it was the male version. I needed clothes that actually fit my body to avoid discomfort. And that line of thinking led me to wonder if buying and wearing women's clothes might actually be the best option after all.
"Good thing the uniform came with spares. We almost had unnecessary expenses piling up."
I was earning from the café, but how much could students really spend there? Plus, I wasn't taking it all— we split it four ways with my friends, so it was hard to say I was making that much yet. It still felt more like a hobby than a business. Being the only café around gave it bright prospects, but keeping it going was the real challenge.
"In that sense, hiring a manager who looks seasoned was a smart move."
Letting a pro handle the money management was the way to avoid trouble. A young woman or student might get taken lightly, but what if a bald, experienced-looking salaryman stepped out and handed over a business card? They'd probably think it was some big corporate franchise. Honestly, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but it turned out to be a successful hire.
"But why measure just the chest so precisely, Grand Duke? At least wrap it up or something?"
"Hmm, you might need to wear women's undergarments later. You won't want to, but like in that last fight, there could be times when it's necessary. Call it preparation for emergencies."
This ridiculously huge lump of flesh was more than just inconvenient. It blocked my view as a baseline, bumped into everything when I moved, made sleeping uncomfortable, and was so heavy that running made my shoulders and back ache. After fighting Greatsword Bruise the day before and staggering back to the dorm, the pain wasn't just from getting hit—it felt like my shoulders were going to rip off from the jiggling. Grand Duke explained that women's undergarments firmly secured the chest and could even count as armor in a way. And with such a stupidly large hit area, at least it shouldn't hurt too much if I got struck there—that convinced me.
"There are practical sparring sessions too, so having sturdy armor isn't a bad idea."
"Exactly. And since it's unnecessarily huge, we'll need custom-made ones."
He said he'd make them with his powers, so I could pull them out whenever needed. Grand Duke stuffed what looked like a decent-sized women's undergarment—big enough to protect my head—into the drawer. It was hard to gauge properly since it was attached to my body, but... it was that big? I wanted to pick it up and inspect it, but Meru Lume was peering from behind, so I shelved my curiosity and closed the drawer.
"Hey, treasure hunter! What kinda treasure was it?"
Beatus came at me the second I got to school, dying of curiosity. Fighting with a greatsword right in the school hallway? Word had spread like wildfire, of course.
"Can't talk about it here... It's hard to even tell my friends."
"That heavy?"
"Professors could call it bribery."
"Now you've got me even more clueless."
With my sharp-eared friends around, I couldn't spill it here—I broke out in a cold sweat. She looked so desperate, though, so I promised to show her back at the dorm later. Beatus nodded.
"More importantly, we got a café manager. He looks super reliable."
"Called him on impulse while fighting Greatsword Bruise yesterday."
"Why call a bald old dude mid-fight? A balding middle-ager dominating a uniformed student screams incubus material, but that's not sayable."
"I summoned him to use as a sword, but I didn't have the strength to swing him."
"That's even more confusing—explain properly."
Grand Duke had lent me his power, but I'd misunderstood and summoned the wrong thing. Beatus doubled over laughing, clutching her stomach. "[Witch] powers are no joke, huh!" Tears streamed down her face as she cackled about how a cow skeleton instead of a spine made no sense. Normally Kali would stop her, but even she was stifling giggles.
"Anyway, he looks really dependable. Good manager means it's easier for us."
Beatus said the bald guy was now handling raw materials procurement—cheaper than when Meru did it. I'd headed straight to the dorm, but she'd checked out the new manager at the café. He'd redesigned the interior, ordered new tables and chairs to make it prettier, and expanded the menu. Hiring an experienced manager really was the way to go...
"Oh yeah, couldn't say it earlier—but word's out about you fighting Greatsword Bruise and winning the treasure."
"Uh, y-yeah."
"More people after that treasure than you'd think? Nah, probably not."
"Huh? Why?"
"'Cause our faction's the biggest right now."
Beatus—the poor repeating failure witch too busy with café duties to keep up with classes—said she heard all the rumors there and launched into the story. Apparently, the first-years revolved around the four strongest called the "Four Heavenly Kings." I blinked at the random title, but figured it was academy culture. They ranked the top four strongest in the year and slapped that nickname on them.
—Incidentally, seniors and grads used it a lot too, so it was pretty common.
"And you're one of them, FYI?"
"Me?!?"
I was so shocked I couldn't process it. How could a frail girl who could barely swing a sword get such a fierce title? Was it Mom? I clutched my head in agony, but Beatus told me to listen and listed the members.
"Two guys, two girls—balanced gender ratio."
"Everyone else sounds badass, but my image is all wrong..."
The Pluwitch Academy first-years had only been in classes for a week, but with nobles and commoners mixed, factions formed fast, creating groups. And across all those, they crowned the top four strongest as the Four Heavenly Kings.
"Doberman suin from the hero family, next guardian Greatsword Bruise. Owns replicas of all sorts of hero treasures, main weapon's a greatsword, but handles whips, iron balls, rods—you name it."
A ridiculous sword user who could tear magic space with his greatsword. Having taken a hit from it yesterday, I could believe it shredded my uniform easy. But pulling out a greatsword against me when he could use anything? Overkill much?
"He's collected 17 treasures from the academy building alone. Leader of the treasure hunter group."
"I see..."
He'd formed a group of classmates aiming to collect academy treasures, steadily exploring the school. They marked suspicious spots as their territory without entering right away—and I'd stepped on one. I'd thought he picked the fight, but I'd invaded his claimed area!
"Ugh, should I give the treasure back? He's probably pissed."
"Nah, he's surprisingly chill. Lost fair and square, so he'd accept it."
Next, Beatus showed a pic of the commoner faction rep, including beastkin shunned like her.
"Weird hairstyle."
"It's part of his body. Half Wear Scorpion—scorpion claws and tail are the highlights."
"Never seen this guy..."
"Yeah, makes sense. Anyway, he's a commoner from way across the ocean who enrolled here."
His name was Yamucha Aranemu—and hearing it made him sound weirdly weak.
"That's it?"
Beatus shrugged: aside from martial arts, yeah, that was all.
"I get kinda hated, y'know."
Nobles avoided her anyway, but even among beastkin, she was despised, making it hard to approach. She said it casually. So she couldn't even bond with others facing prejudice over looks or race? I couldn't imagine her life, but I gave her a sympathetic look. She laughed easy and was great company, but her aggression probably stemmed from that.
"Let's be friends forever..."
"Poor me, stuck friends with a delusional chick who calls herself a guy."
"Hey!"
"Anyway, last one's our academy top student, Ephemera Flash. Has followers, but she's always solo."
"Why?"
"Holed up studying in the library or training at dawn—no free time...?"
A total outsider grinding self-improvement nonstop, no interest in groups. Beatus said she wasn't hated—opened the library to all, good rep, no greed for treasures; even posted info on the bulletin board. Treasure hunters owed their finds to her library research.
"That explains the 17 treasures... Profs give hints for good grades? Hidden in library books?"
"Somethin' like that. We got ours via bribery, though."
"Urk."
"Oh, she's the strongest Heavenly King too. No sparring practice yet, but she wrecked the other two—including you."
Beatus shared her eyewitness account: an epic sight. Greatsword Bruise whipped out his weapon, donned a red coat, summoned a flaming iron horse, charged—and she lopped his head off in seconds.
"...That big a gap?"
I'd planned to give her a scolding someday, but if even Greatsword Bruise got trounced, she was way out of my league.
"High-and-mighty first-year strongest. No bias, no prejudice. Makes me wonder why she hates your guts so much."
Tell me about it.
"...And the last one?"
"The first-year's most vicious Heavenly King. Took down four profs, mutated two classmates, made one prof kowtow and beg for mercy in front of students—the [Witch]. Terror and legend of the academy, second-gen inheriting the first's thick blood. Lady Wiyu Witchcraft."
"My image is totally trashed."
"Too late to fix it now."
Beatus burst out laughing, saying even my goat-monster familiar got treated like a witch's pet. Kali's scary look lumped our trio as "Academy's Three Fiends." With my few friends, this gossip world was all new to me.
"Plus running a [café] fleecing students? Our faction's top dog."
"Haaah..."
They focused on café management, but everyone else chased treasures—biggest first-year buzz. Low odds, but someone might try stealing mine, Beatus warned.
"Duh? Tempting treasure draws thieves."
Force was one way, but academy treasures had no ownership. Stealing personal stuff was banned—but those were exempt!!
"That's what happened."
"Whoa~ A thief?"
I'd secretly hoped one would steal my stuff during class. On the way back, I spilled to Meru Lume about being a Heavenly King and our faction. She squealed that as the sole commoner, she was getting tons of attention. Our faction was huge 'cause she was rallying supporters—shocking. Was expanding witch cultists okay? Was the academy fine?
"Let's shower together today for sure~!"
"Please stop..."
Chatting amiably, we opened the dorm door—and the trashed interior hit us. Drawers yanked open, textbooks and clothes scattered on the floor. No mistaking it: burglarized. Chilly night wind blew through the open window as I numbly surveyed the room. Right on cue, returning students screamed about thieves too.
"They hit the whole dorm...?"
I thought it was just mine, but the entire dorm? Puzzled, I checked the drawer with the treasure—still safe, the one thing I'd wished gone.
"Wait, then what did they steal?"
Grand Duke wondered if they'd just messed up the place. Then I realized.
"The undergarments Grand Duke made and my regular ones are all gone."
Every single one swiped. Meru sighed. Luckily, hers were safe—just a few clothes missing.
"Whoa, even the women's ones Grand Duke got on his own— all taken?"
"What?!?"
Grand Duke roared he'd track them down and make them taste hell's air. Ignoring his rage-fueled evolution attempt, I despaired over having no undies for tomorrow.
"...Wanna borrow some of mine?"
Meru shyly offered her red lace ones. I resolved to go no-panties from here on out.