The Academy's Treasure
"Grrrrraaah!!!"
"<The academy uniform's tough, huh? It won't get sliced right away! It's a replica, after all!>"
"A fake? What if it were real?"
"<You'd have been shredded by that spatial slash earlier.>"
I tumbled down the stairs and ignored the throbbing pain throughout my body as I forced myself to stand. Was she bothered by how I wasn't putting up more resistance than expected? My classmate, who introduced herself as Greatsword Girl, was looking down at me.
—Hero's descendant. Was that true?
"<More precisely, it's the hero's lineage.>"
She was a pretty distant descendant, but it was a noble house passed down through generations, or so the Grand Duke had told me. They preserved all sorts of heroes' treasures, and the guardian wielded replicas of those treasures. Did that mean the hero's artifact in this suin girl's hands wasn't limited to that greatsword?
"[Divine Battle Robe]... and there's only one greatsword, the [Bopal Weapon], right?>"
The Grand Duke muttered that it was a tale so ancient he'd nearly forgotten it. A sacred relic bestowed by the gods themselves—its defense was unparalleled, but the danger lay in the greatsword. The original was said to be a demonic sword among demonic swords, capable of cleaving anything, and cold sweat broke out at the thought.
"Th-then, with my [Witch] powers, if I imagine and create one..."
"<Can you even imagine the history, feats, and structure contained in that thing? The good news is the original got summoned away by a constellation and given to a hero, so it's gone. Relax.>"
The Grand Duke had concluded it was a "replica" factoring in memory and expertise alike. But even a fake was still something a hero had wielded, right? I had no sword, just my bare hands—could I even win? No time to ponder that, though.
"<Incoming!>"
She kicked off the floor at tremendous speed, closing the distance. Light reflected off the crown on her head. That greatsword, so red it looked like blood was dripping, carved a sword mark into the academy wall in an instant. I avoided having my throat slit by collapsing as my legs gave out while trying to stand, but wasn't this too reckless?!
"<Student brawls are common sense at the academy!>"
The Grand Duke yelled at me, lost in awe at her overwhelming martial prowess, as if telling me to snap out of it. I could "predict" where the flashing sword trajectories ahead would strike, so I rolled and dodged by a hair's breadth.
Thanks to [Divination] class? I understood the sensation of glimpsing the future, so I saw the sword's swing path before it even moved. Just before the blade tip reached my vitals in a curving strike, I kicked off the floor, leaped, and spun my body. Sure, my raw strength had dropped, but my stamina and flexibility were intact! If anything, my female body was way more flexible than my male one!
I dodged with circus-like acrobatics, and Greatsword Girl's expression started to darken.
"People are gonna die!!!"
Her downward slash split the floor, cracking the walls and ceiling.
"Can't we just check what the treasure is and split it?!"
"The academy treasures are insanely valuable. And collectors don't compromise."
"<Hmph, as expected of a lineage obsessed with hero relics—they've got strong collector vibes.>"
"You can chat so casually?!"
"[Red★Star]. I'll handle the manifestation.>"
At the Grand Duke's order, I focused all my mana without hesitation. No directions on aim or anything, so I took a deep breath—and Greatsword Girl, realizing what I was up to, charged again.
"Raaaaah!!!"
A roar like a beast's, and a red shooting star burst from my mouth. Because I imagined the sun? The white-hot orb distorted space with its heat, like it could pierce and melt anything. The tiny star hurtled toward Greatsword Girl. Even her [Divine Battle Robe] started glowing red from the heat. It looked like cloth, but was it metal?
In that fleeting instant as my spell flew, the [Bopal Weapon] in Greatsword Girl's hand flashed a sinister red and struck at the mini-star.
"【Absolute Slash】"
It wasn't just fast—it was beyond fast, an ultra-high-speed sword strike crashing down. Swinging a greatsword bigger than her body one-handed was miraculous enough. But that wasn't her full power; she erupted with explosive energy and swung the demonic sword in earnest.
A technique from the sword's original hero owner? Sadly, I had zero interest in that stuff, so all I knew was it was impossible to block or dodge. The only reason I could perceive it was because I foresaw myself getting torn to shreds.
"【Dimensional Slash】"
Even faster, sharper, accelerating—the already blinding strike reached the realm of cleaving light itself. My vision splintered into dozens, hundreds, thousands as if my eyes were sliced, but it was just the light warping. Or maybe it went further, severing space itself in the blade's reach.
My red star had already lost form and power, reduced to dying embers. Unlike the heated armor, the demonic sword replica showed no glow. One arm swung it, but the thunderous boom tearing air revealed its massive weight. I even grasped the accelerating strike's principle: centrifugal force from the blade's heft.
"I am the approaching storm!"
"Kyaaang!!"
"<Wait, you're tanking it with your body?!>"
The academy uniform shredded like paper, yet Wiyu Witchcraft emerged with mere scratches. Even [Change] marveled at her absurd physical toughness.
"<Indeed...! She's entered gag character territory..!>"
"Owowow... It hurts, what're you saying!!"
I rubbed the stinging cuts briefly, then wondered why it hadn't sliced deeper. The Grand Duke explained it was because the swing was too fast for even her to imagine herself getting bisected.
—In other words, I'd endured because I couldn't fathom getting cut by that sword. Pure brute ignorance.
"You said the uniform's tough enough to tank it, so I believed you!"
"<Even tough, it can't stand up to a hero's demonic sword. I said it wouldn't last long earlier.>"
Hearing it rivaled the original in sharpness alone made me hiccup. No uniform now—if it hit, my body would get bisected, right? Trembling in fear, the Grand Duke clicked his tongue and spoke reluctantly.
"[Transforms] all as you desire. I planned to lend my familiar strength after you acclimated—but shout it!! Grab the air! No choice now, frontal clash... [Tanaka Salaryman Sword]!>"
Info on the [Demon] flowed from the Grand Duke on my shoulder. Among them, [Warlord Change] dominated transformations, emotions—devouring and controlling them. Part of that power transformed grasped objects into whatever you wanted.
—Master it beyond familiarity, and you could reshape your own body freely. But unlike form-fluid demons, complex lifeforms were hard to handle. One mistake could mean irreversible horror, so he hadn't taught it.
Emergency now, though—familiar duty to protect his master allowed temporary use.
"Come forth! [Tanaka Salaryman Sword]!!"
At my shout, hellish red, eerie energy gathered in my grip, forming a human shape.
It was too much of a salaryman to call a sword. Not sharp, but bald, heavy, and stinky. A middle-aged uncle, literally.
"?????"
Greatsword Girl flinched at me summoning not a sword but a person into greatsword stance. Knowing I was a witch, though, she swung without hesitation.
Boom! Boom! The clashes echoed unbelievably. Pushed back by superior strength, I dropped the exhausted salaryman after a few swings and panted.
"Tactic time!!!"
"Exchanging business cards is a sacred salaryman ritual. No interruptions. Permitted by business rules."
Self-absorbed type, but noble-bred with manners, so Greatsword Girl nodded. Seizing the breather, I wiped sweat and assessed.
"It's an uncle!!!!"
"<Too slow on the uptake!! How'd you even use my power like that, you witch!!>"
[Change] was stunned his own ability pioneered uncharted territory via his contractor. I'd just slipped up from exhaustion, but felt wronged—did witches really just wing anything?
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Tanaka Glasses, General Affairs Manager at Ark Company."
"Ah, sure."
"Grateful for the external hire. With 32 years at a major corp, I'll handle cafe finances."
"The cafe's super popular already?!"
"<Indeed! Part-timers are great, but we need this expertise!! So, salary?>"
"10,000 jewels a month...?"
"What's jewels, Grand Duke?"
"[Ars Magna]. Too boring to explain—treat it like karma. Kid's rich.>"
"Looking forward to working with you."
[I'm thrilled! Hired a cafe manager!]
Some narration echoed in my head? After part-timer, now a manager for operations.
"Break's over!"
"Right, here I go."
She declared properly, stood from sipping delivered coffee, and raised her greatsword.
"Manager!! Stall!!"
No confidence in winning, so I begged him to fight instead and bolted.
I declared escape boldly, but she didn't call it cowardly. Instead, she dove in to slice manager and me.
"Just a mere salaryman... I'll bisect you instantly!!"
"Regrettably, not just any salaryman."
Recall: unscratched even clashing with the greatsword. Bald Tanaka showcased jaw-dropping martial arts, deflecting the [Bopal Weapon]'s flat with his hand edge.
"What?!"
"A man's a wizard if virgin till 25—and archmage past 30!"
Magical☆Salaryman Tanaka dove into Greatsword Girl's guard, slamming a gut punch. Not mana-infused to crack the [Divine Battle Robe], but penetrating shockwaves vibrating inside—pure penetration mastery!!
Caught off-guard by the unimaginable middle-aged anti-personnel spell, she flew back, smashing into the wall. It crumbled from her own sword scars, burying her in rubble.
Before she crawled out muttering defeat wasn't an option, I fled fast.
"Huff... huff...! Was it worth this much hassle?!"
Academy was loaded with treasures, sure. But biting down this hard for one?
I reached the dorm and placed my hand on the treasure chest from Divination prof's "bribe" intel.
"<Treasures? Elixirs, grimoires, gear. Sometimes eggs.>"
"Gimme gems or cash, please..."
Anything no one'd steal!! Praying desperately, I opened the chest and pulled out the contents.
.....
.......
After deep deliberation, my conclusion.
I'm screwed.