Delusion (18)
Delusion (18)
After becoming Heir Apparent, I found I could do more than I'd expected.
I could give orders to the Edelgard servants Levina had stationed around me as I pleased, and money troubles seemed to have vanished entirely.
I hadn't started attracting sycophants yet, but the people who used to mock me openly in the corridors—loudly speculating about my disgrace and trading rumors—had disappeared.
The daily buzzing in my ears had finally stopped.
I had the feeling that, at this rate, everything might actually work out.
I left my old room as it was and began staying in Levina's quarters.
A room prepared for the esteemed Heir Apparent was, unsurprisingly, far more lavish and comfortable than the one I'd occupied before—pleasant as that one had been.
The space was wide, the ceilings high, and it was so quiet that not a single sound from outside filtered in.
Beyond the window lay a meticulously kept garden.
Her belongings remained as she'd left them, but since Levina and I shared the trait of not forming attachments to objects, nothing struck me as particularly significant.
Still, a faint trace of her perfume lingered in the air.
In the evenings I would sometimes go to see Estelle.
We dined together two or three times a week now; the rest of my free hours I spent going somewhere with Serepina.
When we were alone, Serepina would occasionally look at me as if she wanted to ask something, but neither of us ever broached it.
Even more so after word began circulating through the Academy that I'd supposedly gone somewhere with Levina the day she vanished.
Those were days that blurred together—I let things slide and chose to file each one under a pleasant memory.
Today I was leaning back in a comfortable chair, paging through one of the magic texts Levina used to read.
The words didn't register.
Nothing but vague, sweeping statements filled the pages; I had no idea what it was even trying to say.
I turned the pages anyway, gaze unfocused.
That was when Rineta, who'd been tidying the room, spoke to me.
"Um, Young Master?"
Her voice was small and careful.
"Or should I be calling you Heir Apparent now?"
I answered without looking back at her.
My eyes stayed fixed on the meaningless text.
"Just use what you always have."
"But still..."
"Just call me Young Master."
Rineta hesitated a beat.
Then she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes, Young Master."
She resumed cleaning in silence.
The rhythmic sound of the cloth brushing the floor reached me.
"When I first came here... do you know I used to tremble every day, terrified of what the real Young Master might make me do?"
Rineta spoke again.
Her tone was more relaxed than before.
"The rumors at the time were absolutely dreadful."
I turned another page of the book I could hardly read and answered flatly.
"There's truth to those rumors."
"But I never saw any of it myself!"
She said it and then paused.
When she continued, her voice carried a note of certainty.
"People have been saying the most absurd things these days, but I don't believe you're that sort of person, Young Master."
I kept my eyes on the book as I asked.
"And if I were? Would you hate me?"
"I don't think I could, at least."
"Why?"
"You're hard to hate. I'm only saying this now, but I think it's been true since the day we first met—though I can't say why. You had a scent about you that reminded me of something from the village."
She must have finished cleaning.
She tapped the duster against the window frame and walked toward me.
"Shall I bring you some tea?"
In that instant, the strength left my hand.
The book slipped to the floor.
A dull thud resonated through the room.
I stared blankly down at it.
I reached out to pick it up, but my fingers fell short.
Before I could rise, Rineta was already there, retrieving the book.
She dusted it off lightly and handed it back to me.
"Are you alright, Young Master?"
I took the book and shook my head.
"Tea's fine. No."
"..."
"Could you bring me coffee and something to eat instead?"
Rineta's face brightened.
"Yes! I'll be right back!"
She replied with a cheerfulness I hadn't expected and left the room with light steps.
Before long, she returned carrying a tray.
A cup of coffee with steam curling from it, and a few biscuits on a neat plate.
"Here you are, Young Master."
Before accepting it, I looked at Rineta's face.
She was smiling, and the expression wasn't warped like those earlier ones had been.
When I didn't take the cup right away, she tilted her head, puzzled.
"Young Master?"
"Ah, yeah. Thanks."
I took the cup.
Then I spent a long while just staring into the coffee.
The memory surfaced: Rineta's expression the moment before she'd handed me the poisoned drink.
This didn't feel like that.
I took a sip. A faintly bitter, sour note and a strange nutty fragrance spread across my mouth.
Some of the tension eased.
In the midst of that, I noticed Rineta eyeing the biscuits with undisguised hope.
"You come eat some too."
Rineta always looked forward to the hours she spent cleaning my room and running errands.
Whenever I called for her, I made a habit of giving her snacks or small gifts.
"These biscuits are delicious. Where did you buy them?"
Rineta asked.
She was crouched beside me, looking up.
"The shop in front of the Academy. They just caught my eye."
"I'll have to visit sometime too. I've been so busy lately that I've only managed to see him once since that first day—next time, with Kyle..."
Before I knew it, I had caught hold of her wrist.
"You can just go with me."
"Would it really be alright for me to be seen out with you, Young Master?"
Still leaning back in the chair, I drew her closer.
She came easily, unresisting.
Her body was light and soft.
"It doesn't matter."
"..."
Rineta's face flushed faintly as she spoke.
"If you ever happen to be near the estate annex, would you think about visiting our village sometime? As thanks..."
Her words cut off.
A shadow stood in the doorway.
"You've been spending quite a lot of time with that maid."
It was Serepina.
She stood with her arms crossed, watching us.
Rineta jolted away from me in alarm.
I looked at Serepina and asked.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Ever since it looked like you were about to throw yourself on her."
Rineta flinched at that and fled to a corner, her face reddening.
I met Serepina's eyes.
Like Levina's had been recently, her face looked hollow and worn with exhaustion.
Her blue eyes had lost their light and turned dull.
Serepina wandered around the room, taking in her surroundings.
She shot Rineta a sideways glance, then spoke.
"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. You even gave me a key and told me to come whenever I wanted..."
"Don't just stand there. Come here."
The memory surfaced: that place, where Serepina had blown my wrist apart.
She couldn't understand why, but she moved as I'd said.
When she sat down, I saw the letter in her hand.
"What's the letter?"
"From my father. No need to read it."
"Why's he writing to me?"
"He was trying to annul our engagement. It's probably page after page of apology."
Serepina bit her lower lip lightly.
I didn't know how many times she'd done that, but the lip was slightly chapped and unusually red.
"If you truly become Family Head, my father will worry I'm not a match for you and start watching his step."
"Look at the state I'm in. You think I'd care about any of that?"
"...thank you."
She said it, then hesitated and bit her lip again.
Then, as if steeling herself, she spoke.
"I need to talk to you about something important—really important. Do you mind sending that maid out for a moment?"
I asked Rineta to give us a moment.
She bowed her head and left the room.
The door closed. The two of us were alone again.
"So, what's this important thing?"
"Before she disappeared, did you really go into the eastern forest with Levina?"
Serepina took a deep breath and looked at me directly.
I didn't answer. I stood and walked toward the drawer where the revolver was kept.
"Ravin?"
Serepina called my name.
I didn't respond.
I opened the drawer.
The revolver was inside.
Should I shoot her now?
The thought crossed my mind.
But this time, she'd told me she would trust me. I decided to lean on that.
Or not. If it came to it, there was nothing to be done—and with that thought, I shut the drawer.
Locking up the Duchess, vile and loathsome as she was, had been unbearably hard. Shooting Levina as she approached me had been the same.
I was turning into someone who couldn't commit to kindness or cruelty—a half-formed creature stuck between the two.
Regrettably, I didn't think I could fire a gun at Serepina.
I smiled.
"I went. Came back with nothing happening."
"Just the two of you, into that forest? The day she vanished?"
Serepina's expression crumpled.
"Not just us. The Saintess was there too."
At that, something in her face shifted. She looked almost relieved.
"You're doubting me right now. You said you believed me."
I studied her face, then closed the distance.
And pushed her down.
"You said you loved me. You held me tight and told me everything would be alright."
"Ra— Ravin! What's wrong with you?"
Serepina struggled, but I ignored it. I pressed my body against hers and bit her ear.
The moment my teeth found her ear, the strength drained from her.
I ran my hands over her body. Her arms flailed, but she couldn't push me away.
Her breathing grew ragged.
I forced her back onto the bed.
I knocked her hands aside and pulled her top open.
Nothing.
I searched her lower clothing and found a pendant near the pocket—a thing that glowed blue.
I flung it against the wall. It shattered.
The sound of breaking glass rang through the room.
Blue shards scattered across the floor.
I planted a hand against her shoulder and pushed myself upright. I looked down at Serepina sprawled across the bed.
Then I left the room without a word.
Her voice followed me. I didn't listen.