Jesus Terrorizes Japan
As the first half ended, the TV cut to commercials. Song Yuna, who'd been tense fearing some violent scene might air, finally relaxed.
A commercial featuring Jesus aired.
"Who~~ are you?"
"Me? It's me! The god of soccer, Jesus!"
"Ssakacon that even Jesus loves! On sale now!"
"Ssakacon, Ssa-ka-con!"
"Paa—!"
Jesus, decked out in a gonryongpo robe on the screen, danced with wild abandon. Yohan burst into a bright grin and shook his little butt, mimicking the moves.
"Maa—! Paa-paa on TV!"
"You like seeing Daddy on TV?"
"Yeah! Paa so cool! And Paa good at dancing too!"
"Then do you wanna be a soccer player like Daddy, Yohan?"
"Yeah! Yohan play soccer too! Yohan gonna play soccer!"
Pumped up, Yohan chattered proudly and grabbed a soccer ball, showing off in front of his mom.
"Look—! I grown up!"
Yuna filmed his adorable antics on her phone. By then, the ad had ended, and with Yohan's cuteness captured to her satisfaction, Song Yuna braced for tension once more.
The TV feed showed Saitama Stadium 2002 packed with fans in blue Japanese kits.
Asia's Final Qualifier Round 5 at Japan's Saitama Stadium 2002. Korea vs. Japan, with only the second half left.
Japan dominated early, but Jesus' opening goal shifted the momentum big time, right?
Exactly. His unexpected defensive involvement sparked a counter that led to the score. Korea's onslaught continued until that unfortunate incident late in the half.
...Yes, latest update: thankfully, Okuda Ryu isn't seriously hurt. What a relief.
Indeed... Oh! Players are back on the pitch. Tough away game—hope they push to the end for a good result. Now, second half of the 2042 China World Cup Asia Final Qualifier Round 5: Korea vs. Japan.
As the match resumed, Song Yuna sat Yohan on the sofa to prevent any mishaps.
"Yohan, game's starting. Sit with Mommy?"
"Yeah!"
Kim Dongjun's buddy from SL Benfica days, Tanaka Hideyoki—Japan's top talent, dubbed the Japanese Sergio Busquets—was utterly terrified of Jesus.
That's Jesus. So scary. I wanna run away!
He'd witnessed how Jesus demolished Kim Dongjun in Champions League group stage Round 4. Fearing Jesus might target him this match, Tanaka avoided eye contact.
Dongjun's an idiot! A total pushover! How does he take it smiling!?
But averting his gaze couldn't save him from the prospect-crusher Jesus.
Damn it! Why's he coming at me!?
As defensive midfielder, Tanaka was bound to clash with striker Jesus. But fear clouded his brain.
Jesus dribbled forward slowly. Tanaka, face pale with dread, still blocked his path.
But already psychologically crushed, Tanaka couldn't stop the breakthrough.
"Coming through~ Moshi moshi."
A simple feint wrecked Tanaka's balance. Jesus hummed past.
"Damn it!! You bastard!"
Enraged, Tanaka lost it and yanked Jesus' jersey. Jesus tumbled, the ref called foul and flashed a yellow card.
That was Tanaka's mistake.
"Why a card? This is bullshit!"
Instead of protesting to the ref, he should've apologized to Jesus.
Jesus, feigning closed eyes on the ground, slowly opened them. Sitting up, he eyed protesting Tanaka with a grin—like a kid with a new toy. Passing Kim Dongjun shivered.
"Heh heh heh heh."
"Sayonara... Tanaka."
Finishing his ref complaint, Tanaka spotted the mad smile. Regret hit, but it was too late.
I'm fucked!!
52nd minute.
Pass from armed ninja Kim Jinsu.
"Jinsu-hyung!"
"Yes! Jesus-hyung-nim!"
Ignoring the weird "hyung-nim" that never sat right, I focused. Ahead, tense-faced Tanaka Hideyoki—Japan's ace, big-club caliber—glared with resolve.
"Come at me, you villain!"
What the hell's this jap spouting? Sounds bad, so it must be bad. Vowing revenge, I probed for gaps.
"Hey! Pass here! Wide open!"
"Yo! Open here! You—Jesus! Fuck!"
Go Seokjun waved from left flank, but I ignored. This was me vs. Tanaka. Man's pride on the line. Breach or block. Score or save. No quarter.
Pondering the flashiest breakthrough, a memory hit. Some past loop—maybe last, or 100 years ago—a Japanese reporter asked Japan's weakness. I said, "They're weak."
Japan's weakness: weakness. Simple smash.
Nut-meg Tanaka. Charge. I barreled like a wrecking ball. He body-checked; exposed his flaw. Thwack!
"Damn iiiit! You a rock!?"
"Oi. Mada mada da yo!"
Sneering at flying Tanaka, I unleashed a full-power right foot from penalty arc edge. Ball ripped net. I dashed to corner flag for cradle celebration.
History's greatest striker perks: tried for kid two, one creampie, boom—pregnant.
Current Children: 1 (+2 incoming)
Twins, no less.
83rd minute.
Korea's corner kick. Jesus shrugged off marking Tanaka Hideyoki, headed home. Cradle celebration at corner. Japanese broadcasters glum.
Ah... What a shame... Korea's Jesus completes hat-trick vs. Japan.
That's the world's best, strongest striker! Proud as fellow Asian, sad as Japanese.
Yeah... Jesus is another level. Japan has world-class players rising, but none at that world-class tier.
True. Beyond Korea's Jesus, GK Yoo Youngbeom shines, and Kim Dongjun—Tanaka's close buddy.
Speaking of Kim Dongjun means Tanaka Hideyoki.
Hi—! Second half, Tanaka got prospect-smashed by Jesus. If Jesus' world-class scout activated, Japan's got a gem!
Yes! Survivors of Jesus' prospect-smash hit world-class next season, right?
Hope he endures. Tanaka blocks Jesus again... Hi... Shoved off in rough tussle. Ref says no foul.
Eh... Could've called that. Shame.
Jesus shoots!...
...Ah... Japan... Concedes to Jesus again, just a minute after last goal.
-Hey! You fucks! Gonna spread for your boyfriends' crotches too!? Rotten bastards!
85th minute.
Dazed Japanese players shuffled. Crushing defeat loomed; steps slowed.
["Game ain't over! You idiots!"]
All gave up but one. Voice drew eyes: tearful Japanese captain rallying.
["Can't you see fans who came for us, you morons!? We quit, it's done! Stand! Fight back!"]
Dunno the words, but kimchi's bad vibes. Figured he cursed me. Headbutt.
Bonk!
["If we unite—! That giant—! Gahk—!"]
Captain crumpled mid-sentence. Silence fell. So random, ref gawked, approached, red card out.
"...Ejected, huh."
I humbly accepted, exited pitch.
Japanese stared blankly at fallen captain.
Guess it really was my curse.