Korea vs. Japan -2: The Testicle Terror After Jesus' Opener
After Jesus' opening goal, the momentum had clearly shifted to South Korea.
[The players seem to have relaxed after Jesus' opening goal!]
[Pass mistakes have decreased, and they've taken control of the flow. But in moments like this, the players need to stay even calmer.]
Spotting the shift along the touchline, Coach Utilike instructed the fullbacks to join the midfield battle to maintain momentum.
"Hey! Dongjun! Push up!"
Following the coach's orders, Kim Dongjun and Jo Hong joined the midfield fray, changing South Korea's formation to a 2-4-3-1.
[Kim Dongjun and Jo Hong are pushing up to the midfield to join the battle there.]
[Midfield stability has improved, but South Korea's backline is wide open now? Is Coach Utilike banking on Yoo Youngbeom's goalkeeping heroics?]
As South Korea adjusted their formation, Yoo Youngbeom stepped out of the penalty box to join the buildup. Under Japan's intense pressure, Kim Jinsu passed back to Yoo Youngbeom.
[Japan's Tamada keeps pressing hard. Yoo Youngbeom calmly passes to the open Kim Dongjun.]
[We've seen it at Mallorca too—Yoo Youngbeom's distribution is top-notch.]
[Yes, big clubs are eyeing not just his saves, but his buildup play.]
[Despite links to top clubs, he says he's happy at Mallorca and won't move this winter—winning over the fans. He's the kind of player they can't help but love.]
[Exactly. And as I speak, Kim Dongjun receives the ball and looks forward. There's Jesus stretching his arms as he runs!]
[Kim Dongjun's long pass! Straight to Jesus!]
[Jesus controls it smoothly with his tough physique!]
[Is that the Man Geun Chu Kim Dongjun mentioned in his interview? Japanese players clinging on, but he doesn't budge!]
[Ugh—Man Geun Chu, haven't heard that in ages. While Jesus holds, Go Seokjun infiltrates, and Jesus threads it through the Japanese centerbacks' legs!]
[Go Seokjun! Go Seokjun! One-on-one chance! Ah~! He skies it. Go Seokjun, stay calm next time!]
Go Seokjun's shot sailed absurdly high, and to soothe his embarrassment, he flashed an awkward smile and a thumbs-up at Jesus, who had delivered the killer pass.
"Can't even finish that and you're grinning like you did something right?!"
"…"
Of course, the heartless regressor Jesus had no time for Go Seokjun's feelings.
The momentum had definitely swung our way—it was obvious. Even the Japanese crowd sensed it, booing louder whenever a Korean player touched the ball.
"Hah… They've been assholes since the national anthem, and now it's full meltdown."
As Kim Jinsu went to set up the corner kick, a grim-faced Go Seokjun approached, grumbling.
"If you'd scored, those bastards would've shut up." Go Seokjun flushed red and started to retort, but clenched his jaw and returned to position when Kim Jinsu raised his hand.
Coach Utilike had urged aggressive shooting against the short Japanese side to force corners, and we were producing them just like that.
Kim Jinsu whipped in the corner, sparking a fierce aerial battle in the box. I gently scraped an incoming Japanese player's ribs with my elbow to claim prime position.
"Shikshoooo~!!! Why won't you budgeeee! Guh-!"
At Real Madrid, I'd be lurking outside for second balls… Sadly, on the Korean national team, I counted as tall, so I had to scrap in the box.
Thwack-!
With Kim Jinsu's corner flying in, the rib-massaged Japanese player charged back to disrupt me.
"Temee!"
Irritated by the buzzing fly of a Japanese player, I extended my arm to block his approach.
"Gaaaaaaaah-!"
A gut-wrenching scream erupted behind me, but the ball arcing my way took priority. Ignoring everything, I fixed on it, timed my jump perfectly, and nodded it home from a height a full handspan above the Japanese defender.
As the net rippled and I turned to sprint for the corner flag, I spotted a Japanese player clutching his groin, weeping.
"Huuu… Huuu…."
Unaware of the drama, the broadcast camera caught the crumpled player. The scoreboard showed him pathetically cradling his manhood, plunging Saitama Stadium 2002 into stunned silence. Medics rushed in as the player, looking like he'd lost everything, muttered something.
I don't speak Japanese, so I couldn't catch the details, but…
"I… I'm… a eunuch now…."
Something like that, I figured.
[Jesus secured position first, but the Japanese player charged from behind.]
[Jesus' hand did brush Okuda Ryu's... down there, but... not enough to cry like that, right?]
[Ah... Okuda Ryu is stretchered off... Looks more serious than thought.]
[Ah... A unfortunate accident. Praying Okuda Ryu isn't seriously hurt.]
[Replacing the injured Okuda Ryu is Kimura Yas.]
[A moment of pain and sorrow every man worldwide can relate to. Prayers again for Okuda Ryu.]
[Jesus' goal... yes, it's disallowed?]
[Yes... No card, so no intent, but contact was made—the ref will call foul.]
[Indeed. Any man would've blown the whistle in that situation.]
Okuda Ryu left on a stretcher due to the mishap, but that shocking scene lingered in every player's mind. Physical battles died down, and the game naturally entered a lull.
Even Jesus, who rarely lost his cool to pre-game jeers, was affected.
Wait, do balls really pop that easily? Faced with something beyond his common sense, Jesus instinctively held back. Vowing to search online about testicular durability at halftime, he evaded a charging Japanese defender with a long pass back.
As the ball sailed away, the Japanese player sighed in relief and slowed down. We exchanged glances at a safe 2-meter distance.
'Shiksho! Don't touch the ball!' 'I don't wanna either—what can I do if you give it?!'
Anyway, after the incident, the dull first half ended with the ref's whistle. Both teams retreated to the lockers maintaining safety distances.
While resting and reviewing tactics, Jo Hong—who played club ball with Okuda Ryu—relayed an update.
"Guys! Scans say his balls didn't actually pop!"
The team let out collective sighs of relief… mixed with other emotions.