Chapter 51
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Translator: Silver Dragon
Chapter: 51
Chapter Title: vs AS Roma
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AS Roma, renowned for their defense as an Italian side, had completely locked things down, making it incredibly tough to break through.
Even if Roma's forwards were blunter than the Madrid side I play for, they weren't so blunt as to throw their defenders forward aggressively.
The first half dragged to a close in a dull, tedious affair.
Beep-! Beep!
The referee blew the halftime whistle. In stark contrast to the sweat-drenched players from both teams, I strolled into the locker room fresh as a daisy for some rest.
"The first half was pretty standard but dragged on in a boring fashion, right?"
"Yes, exactly. Real Madrid pushed forward while AS Roma dropped deep into a defensive shell. Whenever Madrid had a pass slip up, Roma tried countering with Navás's quick feet, but no goals came of it."
"Can Real Madrid break down AS Roma's solid wall? With the referee's whistle, the second half of Real Madrid vs. AS Roma in the Champions League group stage Matchday 4 kicks off!"
55th minute of the second half
Real Madrid 0 : 0 AS Roma.
Compared to the Spanish-style tiki-taka teasing of the first half, I could feel the Roma players starting to tire. Their reactions were slowing just a bit. AS Roma manager José must have noticed too, as a few players from their bench began warming up.
"Luka!"
A lapse in concentration from their defender threw their defensive line out of shape. Seizing the moment, I called for Luka Savić and received the pass.
"Jesus!"
Roberto Fabian ski called my name for a pass upon seeing the ball come my way, but with the defender's eyes flicking toward him for just a split second, my shooting angle opened up. I unleashed a powerful right-footed mid-range shot.
Did the ball connect perfectly with my laces?
A bomb-like explosion echoed from the ball, followed almost simultaneously by the sound of something shattering.
Thwack-!
Crack-!
Whoa, that guy just stuck his face right in the path of my shot. Is he insane?
The moment I saw their center back crumple after taking it full to the face, I frantically signaled the referee.
"Ref! Ref!"
Play stopped, and Roma's medical staff rushed in from the bench. Thanks to the post-2022 Qatar World Cup protocols allowing immediate substitutions for suspected concussions regardless of cards, AS Roma was prepping their replacement center back like it was Christmas come early.
"Whoa—player's down, but look at that Roma manager's face. He's grinning like a maniac. Psycho or what?"
Unlike the psycho Roma manager, I—Jesus Joo, paragon of sportsmanship—approached the fallen AS Roma center back with a warm smile to offer some comforting words.
"I've come to deliver a good word for you."
"With play halted, AS Roma preps a sub. Japanese national Shibasaki Takumi is waiting on the touchline."
Manager's a psycho bastard? Why's he smiling?
AS Roma manager's infamous for being a psycho.
The guy who said, 'Any woman with less than B-cups is just a long-haired man.'
LMAO what a lunatic
This is the same dude who, at the league title party, stared at the key player's wife and said we gotta share the good stuff.
What a garbage human being;;
"Jesus Joo approaches AS Roma's Leonardo DiMarco to check on him. What a shining example of character—that's Jesus Joo for you."
Again, again, again—Jesus bro, please stop smiling like that!
Better than last time, at least.
Better my ass. That's straight-up creepy smiling.
Oh I knew that smile looked familiar.
"A gritty play from Leonardo DiMarco. They say Jesus Joo's shot clocked 138 km/h."
"Oof, that was close. Sticking your head in front of a ball coming at that speed... Shows how desperate they are for points, huh? You can feel Roma's resolve in this match."
63rd minute of the second half.
Despite Roma's desperate resolve, some things in this world just can't be done.
A prime example? Stopping me, Jesus Joo, from scoring.
"Hala Madrid!"
Like a predator prowling the box for prey, I burst forward faster than anyone in the scramble and poked the ball home.
"Smartphone!! Smartphone!!"
With the dejected Roma players in the background, I grabbed my phone from the coach I'd left it with, then snapped a selfie with the ecstatic Madridistas celebrating my goal.
"..."
Performing Totti's ceremony—the franchise star and one-club man from Roma—their players shot me deadly glares, but of course, I paid them no mind.
What're they gonna do? If it bugs them that much, score one themselves.
Jesus! GOAL~GOAL~GOAL~GOAL~GOAL~!
"Calmly belts out the looong GOOOAAAL~!"
"I can't believe it—truly unbelievable! Here's the replay. The ball deflects off Shibasaki Takumi's back, and Jesus Joo—who appeared out of nowhere—pokes it in for the GOOOAAAL! GOOOAAAL! GOOOAAAL!"
"His focus is just astonishing. Folks say he's not the modern striker type, but who cares when he scores in every game he plays?!"
"Exactly! Oh, Anton blocks it—straight to Jesus! He shrugs off one defender. Jesus! Jesus! Enkkara Jesus! Enkkara Jesus! GOAL~GOALGOAL~GOALGOAL~!!!"
"Can't do anything but laugh!! He beats six Roma defenders one by one, chips the keeper—Roma looked like helpless babies!"
"Unbelievable, simply unbelievable. What a play! Incredible! Jesus bags another just three minutes later!"
"¡Perfecto! ¡Perfecto! The one and only heir Messi himself acknowledged!"
"The Real Madrid crowd erupts! Their second goal—their god delivers when they need it most!"
70th minute of the second half
Real Madrid 2 : 0 AS Roma.
I don't remember the exact date, but back when I played for AS Roma, there was a day we faced Real Madrid away at the Santiago Bernabéu.
Whump-!
Just like today, I smashed a non-stop volley into a loose ball from Ter Stegen's punch to score.
Splash-
The Santiago Bernabéu fell silent at the fantastic volley. Having beaten world-class keeper Ter Stegen, I ran straight to manager Valverde, grabbed his head, shook it, and begged to clock out.
"Vamos!!! Hat-trick! I'm done! Vamos!!!"
"...Jesus, that's an own goal, dude?"
In the heat of the moment from my brilliant goal, shaking Valverde's head, his awkward expression finally reminded me I'd just rattled my own net.
Ah... my bad.
Still, that shot was perfection. Admit it?
Own Goal '70' Jesus
What the F*ck!!! Check out that shot! Looked like it was sailing wide, then it drops and shakes the net.
"Jesus's shooting is next-level—even game devs know it—but tonight against Roma, it's on another plane. The Bernabéu crowd's stunned silent."
"Unbelievable. Real Madrid's third... no, wait—Jesus Joo's own goal."
"...Huh? Oh, right—Jesus with a gorgeous own goal. Perfect shot. Shame it won't snag a Puskás Award."
They might name a new Ballon d'Or category after him: the 'Spectacular Own Goal by Jesus' Award.
Too heavyweight a name to mock with an award like that.
...My bad on that slip-up.
No worries. The Madridistas will get it. Probably.
Full time
Real Madrid 2 : 1 AS Roma.
Goals: Jesus '63', '65' : OG '70' Jesus
"Valverde on Jesus's own goal: 'No issue. We won the three points anyway. Jesus didn't even get a yellow. I'm happy with the result.'"
"On why he shot at his own goal: 'The little striker inside me screamed—shoot!'"
"Defiant Jesus: 'Any player who doesn't volley in that spot isn't a striker, 100%.'"
"Brazen Jesus: 'Today proves I can score in any situation.'"
"Ter Stegen, whose clean sheet record was broken by the OG: 'Seeing him celebrate by shaking the manager's head after own-goaling? I was too baffled to even get mad.'"
"Luis García, Jesus's close teammate: 'Told you—he's totally nuts.'"
"Roberto Fabian ski on the own goal: 'Beautiful trajectory. I'll train to score one like that someday.'"
"Zealous fan Roberto Fabian ski snaps at reporter calling it an own goal: 'We're strikers. Shaking nets is our job. Didn't Jesus shake the net anyway?'"