Let's Learn Martial Arts

Once again, let me be perfectly clear: the demonic old bastards in the Repentance Cave were never part of my escape plan to begin with. Of course, I did briefly consider escaping with them at first. After all, I knew the true power of the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art.

Its real value wasn't simply shortening the time it took to accumulate qi like you'd see in those murim novels. The core point was that once you trained the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art to a certain level, the moment of awakening would arrive. Sure, a tiny minority might fail to awaken, but even then, it was a fact that the art could turn an ordinary human into a superhuman.

According to murim novels—which every working adult really ought to read as general knowledge—it normally took years for martial arts to become actually useful. But the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art only needed a few months. Even by murim standards, this was clearly a divine technique and an incredible stroke of fortune.

Yet compared to awakening, it was nothing. The results varied wildly depending on what ability you awakened, but once you did, ordinary people would see you as nothing less than a superhero. Of course the power differed by awakening rank, but an awakened ability could evolve endlessly through your own effort.

The process was hardly easy. You had to sacrifice sleep for brutal training and pile up real combat experience on the edge of death for a very long time. In my case, however, I'd awakened a powerful ability from the start and possessed a natural talent for evolving it. Back in school, I had zero talent for studying or sports, so my parents were always passing the blame to each other—"He takes after you," "No, he clearly takes after you"—but… ah, I suddenly miss them. They left so suddenly without ever seeing their child succeed. What was so urgent in the early days of the Great Disaster…? Fuck those monster bastards. I swear I'll wipe their entire species off the face of existence.

Ugh, I don't want to dwell on sad memories. Anyway, I was a genius when it came to using abilities. I instinctively understood that developing an awakened power worked on principles similar to murim martial training. So I built my own theory on ability evolution. The books I personally wrote—You Too Can Awaken and A Beginner's Guide to Awakening—became bestsellers, and I even published an essay titled I'm So Amazing It's Lonely.

I got sidetracked, but the theory behind ability evolution is important. The Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art discovered later explained the same concept through blood points, but I'd already grasped ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it long before. Still, learning the art itself had been difficult because the names of all the acupoints were ridiculously hard to memorize. I nearly gave up several times, thinking, Why am I studying at my age? Yet curiosity kept me going.

The moment I was thrown into this Repentance Cave, I began drafting multiple escape plans. What if this body, despite housing my magnificent soul, awakened a pathetic ability—or worse, turned out to be complete trash that couldn't awaken at all? Training the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art would eventually make me stronger, but who knew how long it would take to become powerful enough to break through Shaolin's psychotic cult? What if my own world was destroyed while I wasted time here?

That's why I initially considered using these human garbage piles. I'd teach them the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art, help them awaken, then rapidly evolve them under my brilliant leadership. Escaping would be far easier with their help than trying it alone.

But that damn conscience of mine got in the way. Releasing these ultimate villains into this pseudo-murim world? Of course it had nothing to do with me, so it shouldn't matter… but there were probably good people here living peacefully with their families. What right did I have to destroy their lives?

So I'd been wrestling with that dilemma ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠until today. Of course I never neglected my Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art training even while I agonized over it. Then I learned about the existence of the Vision Manifestation Array. Dilemma resolved. I'd suffered enough mental torment. I'd save my own world first, then beat the hell out of those damned scientists, return to this world, and lock these demonic heads away. While I was at it, I'd also give that bald murder-crazed lunatic and the perverted doll-worshipping bastard a good thrashing.

Why was I so drawn to the Vision Manifestation Array? According to Ok-myeon Eum-ma, it was a kind of "martial arts sharing item." Simply put, it added the combined training value of all eight people to each individual. It was literally an insane "experience multiplier" buff that distributed the total equally among every party member.

The more comrades you had, the more overwhelmingly advantageous it became. Even in the worst case—if all eight of us awakened trash abilities—each person would cultivate the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art at eight times the normal speed. There was no way all eight of us would awaken garbage powers. Such misfortune simply couldn't happen.

Still, there was one variable. If some of them awakened powerful abilities first, they might betray the rest of us—including me—and escape on their own. I needed to prepare countermeasures for that possibility.

Where would demonic heads have any sense of loyalty?

Of course, if I could awaken even half the power I'd possessed in my original world, I could escape this place by myself. In that case there'd be no problem at all.

Why should I feel any obligation to protect those guys?

How nice would it be to ignore the demonic heads and escape alone at my leisure? No need to release these vicious bastards back into the world, no need to come back later to recapture them. It would be good for everyone—sister, brother-in-law, me, and the world at large.

"What do you think? The name sounds pretty impressive, right?"

"Heaven-shattering divine power… It's arrogant, but it does have a nice ring to it."

At Guyu Majon's quiet murmur, I spoke as if hammering in the final nail.

"I've revealed all my cards. Do you really think I'm doing this just for myself? This is for all of us! It's the perfect chance to regain your martial arts! Are you still going to hesitate after hearing all that?"

"It wouldn't be a loss. If it truly is the correct divine art."

Damn it, as expected of the demonic boss—he's ridiculously suspicious.

Once Guyu Majon essentially gave his approval, the atmosphere shifted dramatically.

"Kahaha! They say there's no end to learning! To think I'd be studying something new at this age—how delightful!"

Hyeolbu Mak-ga, who looked like he'd never touched a book in his life, was the first to enthusiastically agree. Once one or two joined in, the rest of the demonic heads reluctantly began to welcome the idea as well.

But Gapjil Jijon alone remained silent.

"Gapjil Jijon? Why so quiet? Isn't this usually when you start nitpicking?"

When I asked with a sly grin, he answered in a weak voice.

"Today… don't talk to me… I'm too hungry to have any strength… I agree too…."

Once everyone had reluctantly nodded, I shouted with excitement.

"Perfect! Then let's begin right now!"

That was when it happened.

"Wait."

The one throwing cold water on everything was Cheon Dok No-ong.

"Why? Is there another problem?"

His deeply suspicious gaze seemed to pierce straight through me from within the darkness.

"Madwoman, something feels off… You revealed your hand far too easily. Offering such a precious divine art to us who have no connection to you? Simply because escaping is easier with more people… That reason alone feels too weak. I find it suspicious."

"Aigoo, this old man sure is full of doubt. Try trusting people for once."

I countered slyly and added, "Of course, I do have something I want from all of you."

"Something you want? As you can see, the only thing we could possibly give you is these rotten, decrepit bodies."

I smiled shyly.

"Why wouldn't there be anything? You all have your martial arts, don't you?"

At those words, the faint spark of anticipation that had been flowing through the cave transformed into a blade-like silence.

The first to break it was Cheon Dok No-ong. Instead of getting angry, he spoke softly, as if admonishing a foolish child.

"Little girl, your math is wrong. Us learning that divine art from you and us handing over the supreme skills we've devoted our entire lives to are by no means an equal exchange."

The moment he finished, Hyeolbu Mak-ga exploded.

"Is this bitch insane?! How dare you try to snatch our family's secret techniques for free!"

"You want us to hand over our life-or-death supreme skills?!"

Wow, look at how these bastards think.

They wanted someone else's divine art for free but refused to give away their own martial arts? Double standards as expected from demonic heads. Even if they escape, I'll definitely catch them and lock them up again. Of course they're so disgusting that part of me wants to just abandon them, but I genuinely needed their martial arts.

To be precise, I didn't need their internal cultivation methods. Why would I, when I had the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art? And they didn't even have dantians anyway. What I needed were the actual combat techniques—sword methods, blade methods, fist methods, palm methods. The so-called "weapon skills" and "fighting skills." In other words, the forms and stances.

I have excellent self-awareness. You could call me an intellectual strategist type. I was perfect in every way, but if there was one thing I regretted from my previous world, it was my lack of combat technique. Why? Because I never needed it.

I could move at lightspeed, wrap my fists and legs in one hundred million times gravity, and simply smash monsters apart. Why would I need the petty little techniques that only weaklings used? It wasn't because my motor skills were slightly lacking. I was simply too strong, so I never needed to bother with such minor details. That sort of thing was for my A-rank underlings.

But this body was different. I couldn't use my great and overwhelming abilities. To escape and return to Earth, even if it hurt my pride… I needed their "fighting techniques."

"Oh, you all speak so well. Of course the math doesn't add up."

At my words, Demonic Head 1 shouted triumphantly.

"See! Even when crazy, the head still works! If it's truly such a good divine art, you should just politely offer it to this old man with both hands instead of arrogantly setting conditions!"

What? This mere Demonic Head 1 dares to talk back?

Currently there were seven demonic heads in Shaolin's Repentance Cave excluding me. The gloomy final boss Guyu Majon, the pretending-to-be-refined Cheon Dok No-ong, the walking profanity machine Gapjil Jijon, the new villain Hyeolbu Mak-ga, the greasy playboy Ok-myeon Eum-ma, and… the two with zero presence, Demonic Head 1 and Demonic Head 2.

Yet this worthless Demonic Head 1 had the nerve to—

"Shut your mouth. Who are you to interrupt when I'm speaking, Demonic Head 1?"

"Y-you…!"

"Now, you idiots with bad brains, think carefully. Do we have dantians right now? No, we don't. Then can you use those precious cultivation methods of yours right now? No, you can't. But I happen to have an invincible divine art that works without a dantian. So who's getting the better deal here?"

"……."

Everyone fell silent as if they'd been fed honey.

"Pay attention again! I don't need your so-called great internal cultivation methods at all. You can't even use them anyway. All I want are the 'forms' for weapon skills and fighting. Just one per person. How about it?"

After a brief silence, Cheon Dok No-ong asked.

"Interesting. I'm bored anyway, so this works out well. If what you say is true, would a sword method suffice?"

"Sword method, blade method, bare-handed fighting techniques—anything is fine."

I threw out the final bait.

"Of course it must be hard to believe me. You're probably wondering if such a divine art really exists, right? Very well. I'll teach you the formulas of the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art first. Try learning it as a sample and feel the effects for yourselves. Once you experience it directly, I'm sure you won't hesitate to hand over your family's supreme skills at all."

"……Very well. There is logic in your words. In that case, I shall offer my family's secret technique, the Dark Heaven-Defying Sword."

Whoa! As expected of Cheon Dok No-ong! He offered it immediately. Though the name sounded extremely demonic.

"Is that a good one? It's not some kind of demonic art, right?"

"Of course not. It is the supreme learning of our family, and I take pride in the fact that it is orthodox martial arts."

Oh, the response was good right from the start?

With a pounding heart, I looked up at the cave ceiling.

Now, next person? Next person please!

But after Cheon Dok No-ong, no one readily stepped forward. What? No conscience at all?

Just when my mood was about to sour completely, Guyu Majon quietly spoke.

"I shall offer one as well. It is called the Heavenly Demon Soul-Snatching Scripture."

Instantly, shocked gasps erupted among the demonic heads.

"T-the Heavenly Demon Soul-Snatching Scripture!"

"The absolute demonic art that says the heavenly demon steals souls…!"

What the hell? Heavenly Demon? The name is openly a demonic art!

"Excuse me, Grandpa. Isn't that an internal cultivation method? Then I don't need it. Please give me something else."

"It is not a method for accumulating qi. If you can accumulate energy in the muscles as you claim, it should prove useful at ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠any time."

According to Guyu Majon's explanation, it was a martial art that dominated the opponent's mind or directly struck their soul. Seeing how shocked the demonic heads were, it had to be something incredible. This old man was more straightforward than I expected. Some kind of brainwashing? Hypnosis?

"Next person?"

I called out several more times, but no one immediately stepped forward. It seemed they all wanted to see the effects of the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art for ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠themselves first before deciding.

As expected of a demonic society—there's not even a speck of trust.

Still, I'd secured two excellent martial arts for now. Once the rest got a taste of the Heaven-Shattering Divine Power Art, they'd voluntarily offer up their family's supreme skills or whatever.

"Good. Let's be satisfied with two for now. That's how demonic heads are, right? Suspicious, stingy, and underhandedly vile unlike true men… that kind of trash—I mean, cheapskates?"

At my words, the demonic heads who would normally have flown into a rage seemed a bit ashamed of themselves. They flinched and held back from exploding. I cleanly ignored their reactions and shouted.

"As they say, strike while the iron is hot! Let's try circulating our energy right now!"

"Hmm… You mean immediately? That decisiveness alone makes you worthy of being the supreme of the murim."

At Cheon Dok No-ong's comment, I gave a confident smile.

"What are we going to do by waiting around? We'll do one round of energy circulation in the morning, then in the afternoon Mr. Cheon can teach me that… black-white cooking sword? Whatever it's called."

"…It's the Dark Heaven-Defying Sword. And Mr. Cheon…"

"Ah, right! Dark Heaven-Defying Sword! Man, the name is hard. Besides, you only look like you've just passed sixty, so calling you Grandpa Cheon feels a bit much, doesn't it?"

"……."

Cheon Dok No-ong fell silent as if at a loss for words. Ignoring him, I raised my voice once more.

"Hey, what are you doing? Aren't you going to pay attention? If anyone dozes off during the energy circulation process, it'll be a huge problem!"