Teddy Bear Panties

"What the hell is this…"

The chat was exploding.

What the hell is wrong with that last guy.

Countless other messages were flooding in on top of those. Right before I'd hit end stream yesterday, the chat had started racing upward — looks like this was what had been in there. My end-of-stream reaction must have hit them harder than I thought.

That aside… why are there so many viewers?

Yesterday's stream had ten people. Today it was already up to twenty.

So they have clips here too.

Even in my original world there had been boards where people posted the funniest moments as clips. Looks like Zodiac Streaming had the same thing — and those clips were bringing in new viewers.

And who the hell is this guy.

"Why the hell do you keep asking about virgins, you absolute psycho."

Judging by the chat, they seemed to like the no-hesitation ban style.

"Alright, for the record — if you're actually that disgusting, it's a permanent ban. Just so you know."

I gave the new arrivals a quick rundown of the stream rules.

"The reaction you saw in the clips is a donation reaction, and there's a specific timing for those, so hit me with a donation then and I'll do it."

"You lunatic, I'm outside right now."

That was true. I was streaming while walking down the street.

"How am I supposed to do that kind of thing outdoors."

The reason I'd turned the stream on outside was simple.

"It's an outdoor stream, so yeah, I'm doing it. You all stream when you're fighting monsters anyway, right?"

Turn on a stream outside and it's an outdoor stream. Simple as that.

"Today I'm heading to the Hunter Association to register as a hunter and take the exam on stream."

If there was free content just sitting there, there was no reason to do it off-stream.

"I don't have money for transit."

"Old man, go ride a wheelchair or something."

"No, not you. Wait, but if your name is Wheelchair Best Driver, are you missing legs or something? What kind of username is that. Anyway, thanks for the 10 Coins."

"Get out, you freak."

"You too. Out."

I walked along, enjoying a lively chat with my viewers.

"Why is that girl talking to herself?"

"She's pretty, but I think something's wrong with her head."

"Think she'd talk to me if I said hi?"

"Even if she's crazy, she's got eyes, right? She wouldn't go for just anyone."

I could feel the stares and hear the voices around me, but I ignored them cleanly. I'd done outdoor streams back in my old world — if this level of embarrassment was enough to break me, I was disqualified as a streamer.

…That said, walking around as a woman felt weird. I'd always liked attention, but this was different. Something about these looks made my heart race.

"Where'd I put my weapon? In my inventory, obviously. How am I supposed to walk around carrying that thing? It's mortifying."

"Unless you prepay, I'm not buying it~ Donate first, please~"

"I knew it. Both of you, out."

"Anyway, starting from that building over there, it's all Hunter Association territory. If I go through the main entrance…"

WEEEEOOO!

A siren suddenly blared — an ugly, grating sound that set my teeth on edge.

"What the fuck is that."

I was panicking, but the Constellations clearly weren't. Off to the side of the chat window, I could see people evacuating.

"Everyone evacuate! It's a Sudden Gate!"

I knew what a Sudden Gate was — I'd done some research online yesterday. A gate that appeared without warning, spewed monsters, and vanished. Why it was happening right in front of me was another question entirely.

Is this for real.

A gate opened nearby and monsters poured out. Orcs. Their skin tone was roughly human, but that was where the similarities ended. First of all, they were ugly. No — ugly didn't cover it. You could dump acid over someone's entire body and they still wouldn't look like that.

"KRAAAAAAGH!"

Pus was seeping out through the skin of their faces and bodies, like someone really had doused them in acid. And they were dressed in nothing but the bare minimum covering their vital areas, which only amplified how revolting they looked.

"The Association is right here, so support will arrive soon! Everyone get somewhere safe!"

The woman shouting pulled armor and a sword from her inventory and was combat-ready in seconds.

Shit. Do I have to fight too?

I wasn't a hunter yet. No license, no exam. If I ran from here, there wouldn't be any problem.

However.

Anyone who could run a Zodiac Stream held the qualifications of a hunter. The moment you could stream, you became stronger than a civilian — so fighting monsters was just the natural order of things.

Honestly, stronger or not, I wanted to run. In my previous world I'd done a little kendo and that was it. I'd never actually learned how to fight.

If only ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the stream were off.

The Constellations were watching. If I fled in front of them, Heavenly Punishment might come down. Heavenly Punishment was a natural disaster hurled at you by a Constellation — lightning from the sky, the ground collapsing if you hid in a building, a tsunami if you were at sea.

Not being registered as a hunter? That excuse meant nothing. It would be a massive stain on every stream I did from now on.

"If I try and it looks like I can't handle it, I'm running."

Thankfully, they were willing to allow that much. Then again, what kind of insane Constellation would force someone to die.

"Hoo. Here I go?"

I pulled the club out of my inventory.

Han Nami, leader of Hunter Team 3, charged the orcs in full armor with her sword drawn.

Of all times, rush hour.

She was on her way to work — and so were the civilians, which meant the streets were packed. She had to get people to safety while holding off the orcs at the same time. The one silver lining was that the Hunter Association was right next door, so there were plenty of hunters around, all throwing everything they had into cutting the orcs down.

Orcs are no joke.

Their intelligence was low, but their physical power was outstanding. Get grabbed even once and even a veteran hunter was in real danger. Distance control was everything against these things.

Mutter mutter mutter.

While she was evacuating civilians and dropping orcs, she heard muttering right beside her. She looked toward the sound and found a woman holding a club.

Mutter mutter mutter mutter.

No armor — just a shirt and a skirt — swinging a club and muttering to herself.

"…?"

Talking to Constellations, maybe? But people usually didn't chat mid-combat. And Constellation chats weren't that active to begin with.

Nami had about a hundred viewers on her own stream, and the most recent chat was a single message.

Mutter mutter mutter mutter.

THWACK—!

The woman kept muttering into empty air as she swung her club and caved in an orc's skull.

Is she a celebrity?

The first thing that hit Nami was the woman's face. Whether she was in full makeup or not, her looks practically glowed — the kind of face that got endorsement deals if you were a famous hunter.

Mutter mutter…

Nami watched the woman keep muttering ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠while fighting orcs. The orc blocked her first swing.

"Look out—!"

Close enough that the orc's hand could reach her. But something was wrong with the orc.

"Kuh-hee-hee-hee-hing!"

It was reaching not for the woman, but into empty air — and moving noticeably slower. The sound it made wasn't a proper battle cry either; it was somehow… unpleasant.

"KRAAAAAAGH!"

That was the normal sound. Nami took the head off an orc coming at her, then looked back at the woman.

Why does that thing look like that?

Maybe she'd been too focused on the woman's face, because only now did she really look at the weapon in her hands.

…It looked like a dick.

There was no other way to describe it.

Did they seriously sculpt the veins on that thing…?

Idle thoughts were poison in a fight, but right now they refused to leave her head. The constant muttering wasn't helping her concentration either. She sharpened her hearing to catch the woman's voice.

"Thanks for the orc one-hit-kill mission donation. Teddy bear panties, ohoho? You, get out, you freak."

"…?"

Is she… actually talking to Constellations?

Calling a Constellation a freak? Was she not afraid of Heavenly Punishment?

"Honestly, if you look closely, aren't orcs kind of cute? Wheelchair Best Driver, is your eyesight bad too? How is that cute from any angle. It's disgusting."

Around that point, Han Nami gave up thinking and focused entirely on killing orcs.

If she didn't, she was genuinely going to lose her mind.