Chapter 54
Chapter 54
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 54
Chapter Title: Our Pastor Is Huge
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With its cheap side dishes, the Japanese izakaya Oninabe was a hit among broke college students.
But cheap prices meant low barriers to entry.
And low barriers often led to low-quality customers.
"Hey, I got caught by Yeji."
"Caught with what?"
"Hooking up with Sujin."
As a result, the place often attracted scummy types who bragged about cheating.
"Kekeke, you idiot. So what happened?"
"What do you think? Got dumped on the spot. Sigh... No other girls in my building to crash with."
And Kim Joo-min, who'd been leeching off his girlfriend like a parasite for three years, was one such lowlife.
Even that had fallen apart after getting caught cheating, leaving him without even a place to sleep.
"Must be nice, having rich parents."
"Shut up and drink."
"Didn't you drive here?"
"Yeah, Dad's car. It's fine, I'll call a driver."
"Rich prick..."
As they ate and drank, spilling laments about life's unfairness,
"Whoa, shit..."
something caught Kim Joo-min's eye.
"Yo, second table by the right window—those chicks are insane."
True to his friend's saying that his brain was in his pants, he'd spotted a girl he liked even in this dump.
"Fuck, never meet decent girls in a hole like this."
His buddy, though, wasn't impressed.
Women at cheap spots like this were always beneath his standards.
"Shut up and look, I'm telling you, they're nuts."
"Whatever..."
But this time was different.
"...Whoa."
"Told you."
"...That size possible?"
Kim Joo-min nodded toward a table with two women who nailed looks and figures perfectly.
One suited subtle makeup and a pure, innocent outfit.
The other, in a tracksuit with her hair casually tied back, somehow outshone the first.
"No wonder it's so quiet tonight..."
Only then did Kim Joo-min realize why the place was unusually hushed.
"Everyone's eyes are gonna pop out..."
"Bet they break up. Look at the girl's face, heh."
Not just them—most guys in the izakaya were glued to the pair.
One couple even fought because the guy couldn't look away despite his date being right there.
They were that captivating.
"They don't even seem to notice, though."
"Yeah."
Despite all the stares, the women chatted quietly, laughing, oblivious to the attention.
Smack!
"If you're like that, why'd you call me out?!"
"Babe, it's not—"
One couple's romance cracked because of them, but the women didn't bat an eye.
"She dumped him."
"He was staring too hard."
"Honestly... as a guy, how do you not look? Fuck, I'd kill to grab 'em once."
"You psycho, they can hear you...!"
Even as they talked, Kim Joo-min's gaze stayed fixed elsewhere.
Window seat, where the two women sat across from each other.
Especially the one in the tracksuit.
"Can't take it anymore. Hey, you got your dad's car keys, right?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I'm gonna bag one tonight."
After agonizing, Kim Joo-min steeled himself.
The bold win the beauties, right?
Passing them up would be criminal.
[Oppa, my bad, okay?]
[Noona, taking Friday off...]
[Joo-min, free tonight?]
And while not their level, he had some confidence in his looks.
Striding over boldly, Kim Joo-min said,
"Excuse me, does your boyfriend have a big dick?"
And heard something he'd never encountered in all his womanizing.
"Mine's fucking huge."
What followed was,
"Pffft."
pure, one-sided beatdown.
────
Honestly, at first, I had zero intention of letting it slide.
[You crazy bitch! Cops are gonna come!]
[To show my sincerity...]
[I get it, just put some clothes on!]
Even after she'd lied to me, her apologies weren't sincere—she was still playing around, and it pissed me off.
It hurt that I wasn't the only one desperately hoping this wouldn't end, but maybe I was alone in that.
But as time passed, as we talked more,
[Um... Suha...?]
I realized her goofy apologies were genuine.
Judging her by normal standards was pointless anyway.
Min-ji was serious about this, just like me.
She didn't want to lose me for real.
Strangely, realizing that melted away the anger in my chest.
Maybe I wasn't mad that she'd lied—
but scared that I was the only sincere one here.
Once I saw her truth, spending time with her felt easy.
[Truth is, I've never hung out alone with anyone like this.]
[No way...]
I learned bits of her past I'd only guessed at.
[You really ran away like that...?]
[Yeah, so he hounded me for a while, boo-hoo...]
[Uh... but if you got over 100,000 won worth of free food, didn't you come out ahead, Min-ji?]
[There's this thing called emotional trauma.]
Lots overlapped with my own stories, so I got it easily.
This is fun.
We'd known each other barely a month, first faces today.
Yet this chat felt great.
Other girls my age always felt awkward, uncomfortable.
But Min-ji? Like an old friend—easy, natural.
That honorific, though...
Feels off.
That PVP team day, to build rapport, we'd dropped formal speech.
But now that her age lie was out, stiff politeness returned.
No hard feelings left, but the distance felt bitter.
Can't we just be friends?
She apologized, I forgave.
That's enough, right?
Wish we could go back,
but dropping honorifics with a three-year gap ain't easy.
Three years is bad juju anyway...
Not the right context, but still.
No, just tell her to drop it.
Yeah, why didn't I think of that?
I hold the reins here.
I'm older, I can suggest casual speech.
"Um, Min-ji."
"Yeah?"
I still kinda wanted "noona," but.
She'd lied out of pride, milked it this far.
Call her "noona" wrong, who knows what weird shit next.
So, I'd yield this time.
What Suha really wanted wasn't Min-ji calling her noona.
Just... real friends, chatting easy, laughing free.
"Let's just drop the formal speech—"
If not for the interrupter.
"Excuse me, you two alone?"
"Haha, you're totally my type. Mind if I join for a drink?"
"Sorry."
Ugh, annoying...
If not a streamer, no need to watch my words.
But as a big-corp streamer, every line mattered.
Min-ji...
Glancing over, her mouth agape, eyes flicking between me and the guys.
Then head down, fiddling phone—scared, probably.
Sigh, fine... I'm the three-year senior here.
As the older one, noona duty called.
"Excuse me, does your boyfriend have a big dick?"
If not for this crazy bitch.
"Wh-what?"
"Huh?"
"...Min-ji?"
Min-ji's line slapped a giant question mark on all three heads.
Clang.
"Ah, sorry..."
Dropped metal chopsticks filled the silence.
That one line wide-AOE stunned everyone in the izakaya.
"What did you just—"
The guy thought he'd misheard, demanding clarification—but
"Se—"
Min-ji had other plans.
"This is my boyfriend, see?"
She shoved her phone at the hunting duo.
I peeked too, curious.
And there,
"...That old dude?"
A ripped giant, mid-30s looking dude who could pin you with arm strength alone.
...Her boyfriend?
Not her dad?
"Hah, give me a break."
The guys obviously didn't buy it.
Who'd believe that pic of a father-figure was her lover?
"Hey, do we look stupid—"
But Min-ji didn't care if they believed.
"Check this out."
She flexed her arm into an L, showing off her "muscles."
Skinny, fragile twig, zero muscle.
She's so scrawny...
I almost laughed—but
"My boyfriend's this thick, think you measure up?"
"Pfft... Y-you psycho...!"
I could only gape in shock.
"Thick as your arm?!"
"What the fuck, black guy?!"
"Pfft, guess not, huh?"
"Fuck..."
The guys were floored; never saw it veering here.
Well, maybe one person in the izakaya did.
"Look, just say no if you don't want us. Why lie about dick sizes like arm-thick? Ridiculous."
"Hmm... It is."
"Is that old guy really your boyfriend?"
No clue how talk derailed here, but I couldn't stop it.
The hyped guy and his buddy looked flustered now.
"Wanna verify?"
It ended with Min-ji video-calling the photo guy.
Ring ring.
After rings, it connected.
["Hello?"]
The screen showed the muscled man for real.
Then Min-ji—
"Oppa~ I'm drinking, these guys keep hitting on me~?"
["...Where."]
"Here near OO-dong Oninabe, come quick~"
SOS to boyfriend(?).
Wait, it's real?!
["Show me their faces."]
"This guy... and this one!"
"W-wait, not me!"
"Sh-shit, for real? Sorry, thought you were single..."
["Got your faces memorized."]
"Eek...!"
["Heading there now. Stay if you wanna die."]
"S-sorryyy!"
The guys bolted before boyfriend(?) arrived.
"...Min-ji, is he really your boyfriend?"
"Nope."
"Then who...?"
"Pastor from my church."
...Pastor?
That guy?
"Wait... Yeah, hello? Pastor? Yeah, they're gone. Nothing else now. I'll drink moderately and head home. You too, drive safe!"
No way, an actual pastor?!
"He told me."
"Told you what...?"
"Yeah. If creeps hit on you, do this anytime."
"...Oh, got it."
So that's why she fiddled her phone—prepped the pastor call.
Yeah, can't judge by looks.
Buff exterior, warm heart praying for flock inside.
"Girl, you scared me. Dropping 'size' outta nowhere."
"That part's true, though."
"...?"
"Our pastor's huge. Saw it ages ago when he was washing up. Thought it was a snake."
"Pfbbt! *Cough cough*... M-Min-ji..."
...Never mind, scratch that.
"Your church... maybe report it?"
Isn't that just... a criminal?