Chapter 48
Chapter 48
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 48
Chapter Title: Self-Destruct
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Up until now, I'd never once felt like my life was unhappy.
I grew up without parents, but there were people who filled that void for me.
I didn't get much education, but I never had any talent for studying anyway.
I didn't have much, but I was never poor enough to starve.
What even counts as a standard for a happy life?
Eat well, sleep well, shit well.
That's plenty.
Even after my savings vanished and my gender flipped, that mindset never changed.
I'm still eating well, sleeping well, and shitting well.
That's more than enough to make my life happy.
Of course, it's true that I get even greater pleasure from teasing or tormenting someone...
But that's just my own twisted side as a person, so let's gloss over it.
Anyway, happiness to me is nothing special.
Survival.
In other words, just being alive.
Breathing, greeting tomorrow's sun.
Eating when hungry, lying down to sleep when tired.
Mindlessly scrolling through YouTube Shorts to burn time.
Pulling aggro in the gallery, spamming hate images, and watching the reactions.
These little moments, like grains of sand that can scatter or pile up, fill the vessel of happiness.
That's the philosophy of life I'd built over twenty-two years.
But for someone like me who thinks that way—
📰 Gallery Post [Title: Gallery Owner, Please Come Back ㅠㅠ] 📰 Gallery Post [Title: Shouldn't We Make a List of Those Real Sexual Harasser Bastards?] 📰 Gallery Post [Title: If I'd Known Something Like That Happened, I Wouldn't Have Done It...] —why the hell are they looking at me with these pitying eyes?
Was the trauma from the 'rain' left on Lee Min-ji's body deeper than I thought?
In the dead of night, while I was dozing off unable to fight the sleepiness, the absurd incident happened because of the sound of rain seeping through the slightly open window.
Maybe the way Lee Min-ji became an orphan was different from mine.
I lost my parents in an accident, and it was so long ago that I barely remember it.
But Lee Min-ji was truly abandoned, and if the trauma from that lingers in her body—
📰 Gallery Post [Title: I Think I Get Why the Gallery Owner Only Did Shitposting...] —I could somewhat understand why she lived such a warped life.
Yeah, I get it, sure.
But now I'm Lee Min-ji, and I have no intention of living like you did.
I don't have fond memories of military life, but I learned a fair bit there.
One of them: spilled water can't be gathered back up.
I've experienced it enough times to know that when a worthless junior shits himself, it's faster to clean it up than to curse him out.
Whether it's a tragic family background or bad memories—
If you can't erase them or pretend they never happened, the best thing is to just do what you can right now.
Cursing someone out or lamenting your fate—
You can do that later when you have the luxury.
Orphan without parents or beggar struggling for one meal a day—
The moment you drown in that reality, your life stops dead.
And above all—
'How dare they pity me?'
To a warrior, pity is no different from an insult.
Pity is ultimately the flimsy hypocrisy the strong offer the weak.
To us warriors who manipulate others' emotions like our own, phrases like 'I'm so sorry for you' aren't consideration—they're just veiled kicks.
The pity they're offering me is worth about as much as 'trash lol,' 'shitstain lol,' or 'bug cut lol' to me.
And now, the viewers I've been trolling forever are pitying me!
Even worse...
— Eder Saintess, I'm heading to Japan this week on my day off. Tell me if you need anything! — Suha Yam Sis, if you have time, wanna grab a meal? My fellow industry pros are pitying me too!
Grind...
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
'Lee Min-ji, you fucking bitch...'
Not content with arbitrarily swapping our bodies, she messed with the condition too and blabbed weird shit.
I don't have a hobby of hitting people, but maybe smacking her a few times would be okay since she's made me suffer this much.
Slap!
No, since I'm her now, that'd be self-harm?
"Ow..."
Rubbing my stinging cheek, I prayed that some of 'Lee Min-ji' was still left inside me.
That way, what I just did wouldn't count as retarded bullshit.
Anyway.
Either way, I had to change this atmosphere fast.
If not, this humiliating pity party would drag on.
It might die down after a short break, but I couldn't afford to skip streams since I needed money now.
Explanation... yeah, I need to explain.
I'm not some powerless woman with an unhappy past—I'm a strong warrior with a free soul living as I please.
So stop pitying me and go back to spewing your usual curses and abuse!
That's the way to uphold a warrior's pride and honor the glorious name of Saintess Nice.
"Alright...!"
The decision was quick and firm.
And so, today's stream was set—
⚙ STREAM TITLE ⚙ Saintess LIVE ON: No Nice Words Allowed + Total Annihilation of Pat-Heads 💀💀💀 The boss has lost her mind! Curses are free today! — — — —
💬 Live Chat — Viewer Hey hey — Viewer You came!! — Viewer Gallery Owner, sorry ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ — Viewer Thought you wouldn't show It hadn't even been three minutes since I went live,
[Viewer Count: 145] and already more than half my usual average viewers had flooded in.
You could say it's natural since the alert went out, but that's not always the case.
No matter how jobless and reclusive my viewers are,
they have their own lives, so they don't all swarm the second I go live.
Whether gaming or watching anime, they usually come late going, "Oh, this bitch went live?"
So viewer arrival times vary.
That's why most streamers wait for enough viewers with the "warm-up" process—stream on but start content late.
[Huh? Why not start right away?]
[It's more efficient to start content after viewers gather!]
...Suha told me.
I didn't even warm up, yet they piled in this fast—guess they were just waiting for my stream to pop on.
Means interest in my stream has spiked, so not a bad thing.
Problem is the reason for that interest.
People truly believe the past of the "notorious shitposting troll with the toxic highnick" from the community
is actually that of an "orphan abandoned by parents, joined the military to survive, got abused with curses and harassment until she snapped."
A backstory straight out of some tragic webnovel, sparking pity and sympathy.
That's not true at all—why is everyone's imagination so wild?
"Hello, everyone."
Not everyone's here yet, but enough have gathered, so I started the stream.
Clips from today's broadcast will circulate the communities anyway, and the curious will find them.
— Viewer Saintess — Viewer Thanks for coming back — Viewer What're we doing — Viewer Condition okay today? "Hmm..."
Just the first words.
A simple greeting, but I could feel the atmosphere was different from yesterday.
Because these guys used to respond to my hello with
'Why so late, fuck?'
'Wanna die?'
'So what we doing today?'
sharp jabs like that.
— Anonymous donated 5,000 won! Hey you fucking bitch, if you only post off-day notices in the community, how are gallery folks supposed to know! "Oh."
Seems some viewers were clueless about yesterday's drama.
— Viewer Watch the cursing — Viewer Then search yourself — Viewer Fuck, no manners — Anonymous donated 5,000 won! Uh... sorry... Even they got mobbed by chat and backed down.
Why are they raging when they weren't even insulted?
No, these guys pay to curse.
So if I prioritize, cursers beat you lot.
Sexual harassers pay big, but it's gross.
Even two weeks into gender swap, being the lust target of former same-sex folks is nauseating.
— Viewer Simps..? — Viewer Honestly, might happen on Saintess's stream someday? Gotta manage these creeps — Anonymous donated 1,000 won! I'll cheer you on from now on, Saintess! Forget the bad memories and stack only happy ones! "Ah, yeah... sure..."
— Viewer For real — Viewer We'll stay in line now — Viewer Be happy, Saintess... Is this the 'simps' Suha said inevitably appear for female streamers?
I thought I'd never get any.
"Everyone, I don't mind the cursing at all, so don't make a fuss over nothing."
I could see why even big-league Suha said managing them is tough.
— Viewer You say that but ㅠㅠ — Viewer No need to act tough, we know — Viewer It's okay, boss. We won't anymore These fuckers don't listen no matter what I say.
"No, it's about yesterday's crap..."
Plan one: act like nothing happened and stream normally.
Failed.
"Communities wrote novels about me being ex-military, abandoned by parents, blah blah."
Moved to plan two.
Explain.
"All bullshit, so cut the nonsense."
Guess not reading titles or notices is genetic for Koreans.
I even titled it 'No Nice Words Allowed,' but the pity parade continued.
— Viewer ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ — Viewer Denying it so hard... — Viewer Memories she wants to forget ㄹㅇ;; — Viewer If Saintess doesn't want it, we won't! My patience was on the verge of exploding.
'Fuck, really...'
Wanted to mass ban them all,
but with most viewers like this, not easy.
"You saw the title, right? No nice words—"
Even talking it out...
— Anonymous donated 100,000 won! Saintess, really sorry for the sexual harassment and cursing before. I didn't know about your past. "No, I said I don't mind—"
— Viewer What good's apologizing now — Viewer Sigh, guys like you make people kill themselves — Viewer Saintess, just take legal action — Anonymous donated 1,000 won! Already compiling a PDF of weird commenters against Saintess in the community "No need for that."
— Viewer Oh — Viewer Good ㅋㅋ — Viewer Bye losers~ No dialogue works.
Ignore my words.
Insult my warrior pride.
Deny my existence.
Grind...
No reason left to hold back.
Tearing eyes from the endless 'pity' and 'support' insults in chat,
I logged into my trusty cloud server.
[ID: tjdsuskdltm123] [PW: *******] Entered ID and password, then like a general drawing his favorite weapon, copied the folder to my desktop.
"One last question: you guys have no intention of cursing me and treating me like shit like old times, right?"
— Viewer Yeah — Viewer Don't worry, never again — Viewer If we do again, we're not human; I gave them a chance.
You kicked it away.
Resolve hardened, I unzipped the folder.
[Viewer Warning) Tactical Nuke Collection.zip] "Then let's just all die together, everyone."
Let's see if they curse even now.
— Viewer ? — Viewer ? — Viewer ? Plan three,
Self-Destruct (KAMIKAZE)
Begin.