Chapter 44
Chapter 44
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 44
Chapter Title: I'm Bored
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I'm bored.
When was it?
Right... yeah, back when I was still in elementary school.
Back then, I used to sneak candy during class and get caught by the teacher all the time, earning myself a scolding.
And that day, just like always while I was getting chewed out, I suddenly tossed out this question.
[Teacher, why can't we eat candy during class?]
When I said that back then, it wasn't out of any defiance.
It was just pure curiosity.
Why not? Who decided that? Is it really that wrong?
And the teacher...
[Candy's bad for your body. And if Min-uk starts eating candy, all the other kids will want to eat it too, right?]
She explained it so kindly, in a way even a naive twelve-year-old like me could easily understand.
Looking back now, she was one of the few adults who treated me—a problem child at school, an orphan without parents—without any prejudice.
A normal kid probably would've gotten the point by then and reflected on their mistake.
And I...
[Then why is candy bad for your body?]
[Huh...?]
I guess I've always been a bit distant from normal.
[Well... um, candy is basically just a lump of sugar. If you keep eating that stuff, your teeth get damaged and you get cavities. Min-uk, you don't like going to the dentist, do you?]
[Yeah.]
[But if you eat a lot of candy, you'll have to go to the dentist a lot because of cavities, right? So we should cut back as much as possible?]
Yeah, sure. Even a somewhat unique kid who's not quite normal would usually understand after that kind of explanation.
The teacher probably thought the same thing back then.
The problem was...
[But Teacher, if candy's so bad for you, why does my body keep craving it?]
I guess I was a kid whose brain was even more broken than I thought.
[...Huh?]
[If it's bad for you, shouldn't your body naturally avoid it on its own? But whenever I snap out of it, my mouth's full of candy.]
[That's because... well...]
[You get scared of high places because falling hurts, and you avoid sharp things because getting cut hurts. So why doesn't my body avoid candy?]
To reiterate, there was no defiance in that question.
Just like the first one, it came purely from innocent curiosity.
A whimsical question unique to children, born of curiosity.
And the teacher...
[I-I'll tell you later. For now, let's get back to class?]
In the end, she gave up on explaining.
She probably figured she couldn't explain it in a way a kid would get, and there wasn't time during class anyway.
But a child's curiosity is no easy opponent.
In the end, instead of the teacher who never gave a proper explanation, or the always-busy Pastor Kim, it was the internet that became my teacher.
📰 Why the Human Brain Craves Sweetness.jpg Author: Anonymous (Monkey brain cracked open.jpg) Warning: Gross image ahead. Anyway, the photo above is from a Chinese dish called "Hou Na오" (monkey brain). True to form for "that ethnicity" that eats damn near anything chewable, it's a super grotesque and gory dish. You might think, "How gory can food get?" But get this: they slice open a live monkey's head and scoop out the brain with a spoon to eat it. Obviously, the still-alive monkey goes berserk in agony, and they supposedly put a drum by its legs so the eaters can hear the beats and think, "Ah, this dish is fresh!" Real crazy bastards lol. Anyway, they say the taste of that "Hou Na오" dish is surprisingly sweet. Soft and sweet, sometimes even eaten as dessert. Now, here's a fact we can take from this. Monkey brains are sweet. Like sugar. And humans are the evolved form of monkeys. Which means human brains are probably sweet like sugar too, right? So maybe that's why our brains constantly crave sweet foods? Not like I'm writing this after binging chocolate all day and gaining 10kg or anything. — Anonymous Ew, gross... — Anonymous No gross warning? F*** you — Anonymous Agh my eyes f*** — Anonymous You little s*** starting s*** this early in the morning — Anonymous F*** — Anonymous Mod you s*** delete this crap — Anonymous This is BS anyway—actual monkey brain tastes more nutty and clean than sweet — Anonymous Also, Hou Na오 originated in Guangdong, China, and was considered a rare imperial tribute dish — Anonymous How the f*** do you know so much about this — Anonymous Namgoong-hyung knows all... Even after getting hit with the grossest image of my life for the first time, the flame of my curiosity refused to die out.
Suppressing the urge to puke and scrolling down, I finally reached the "truth" that human brains are made of sweet components, making us crave sugary foods.
[Ooh...]
It was logic so pseudoscientific it was embarrassing to even call it that—utter nonsense.
But back then, I had no idea how much BS it was.
So for a while, I genuinely believed it. That my brain was sweet, and that's why I loved sweets.
I realized it was nonsense in my second year of middle school.
During a time when I couldn't eat candy because of cavities, while I was staring at the back of a nursery kid who loved sweets just like me, drooling...
[Min-uk...]
Pastor Kim noticed my weird behavior and asked why.
[...Your brain is...?]
After hearing my answer, he stared at me silently for a moment.
Then, slowly, he opened his mouth.
[Your brain isn't sweet... it's just dense.]
[Huh?]
My three-year streak of stupidity ended just like that.
So why am I suddenly bringing up stories from my naive, dumb school days?
"Ah... I'm so bored..."
If that ridiculous post I'd read back then was true,
my brain is probably made of sodium chloride, sucrose, and capsaicin...
Something like that useless thought crossed my mind.
"...Nothing fun around."
My brain was wandering, desperately seeking something stimulating to pump out some dopamine, fast.
Digging up trivial old memories like this—it was peak boredom territory.
[AM 02:30]
But it was way too late to soothe that boredom.
Weeknight, 2:30 a.m.—when most normal people are recharging for tomorrow.
At this hour, even streamers had mostly gone to bed for tomorrow, so there weren't any broadcasts worth watching.
[Everyone, see you tomorrow!]
Even Suha Yam had ended her stream a few hours ago.
Spamming the community like usual?
[Title: Said 10 minutes, you matchmaking s***]
[Title: Types still up gallerying at this hour.TXT]
[Title: Mod? Tactical nuke in 10 mins lololol]
The ones awake at this time were mostly warriors like me, so it didn't appeal.
"Can't sleep... and the rain won't stop..."
The rain was still pouring without any sign of letting up.
Forecast said it'd rain all day, meaning I'd be stuck in this PC bang without escape.
"At least teasing Suha was fun..."
Time flew by while watching her stream.
[Suha Yam: Sis, can you hop into Ias right now by any chance?]
When she suddenly invited me to a party voice chat, I was a bit startled.
[F***! Why is this a headshot!]
[Ugh seriously this girl sucks so baaaad!]
[Saintess Nice: Can't use mic right now so probably not ㅠ]
Thanks to the noisy future of Korea chattering in the background, I had to decline.
[Aaaaaagh! F*** this shiiiit!]
No-mic collab felt awkward, and turning on the mic would broadcast all those screams.
Then, some chats I'd been spamming on Suha's stream popped into my head.
[Turn on your stream, Saintess you b****]
Probably from viewers suspecting I was Saintess.
[Saintess Gallery]
Suddenly curious about my fans' complaints, I peeked at my fan gallery.
And as always, I started closely reading the quality posts.
[Title: This b**** is a legend for going dark and then coaching on Suha's stream lololol]
[Title: The notice post still pisses me off every time I see it, crazy b****...]
[Title: Turn it on tomorrow and see what happens—spam incoming lol]
Half the quality posts were curses at me and threats to spam if I streamed.
[Title: Can't Gallery Lord do a fan meet just once???]
[Title: Just wanna smack her real good once]
[Title: Feels like Saintess got hit a lot growing up]
Half of that was personal wishes to smack me once.
[Title: Gallery Lord you're coming tomorrow, right..?]
[Title: Even then Saintess fans will dogpile and take seats if she streams—respect]
[Title: Saintess... I'm cold...]
And the rest were desperate pleas to stream tomorrow.
"Hmm..."
It was nearly 3 a.m., but the gallery refresh rate was surprisingly fast.
What the hell were these people doing up this late?
Then, a fun idea hit me.
"That's right... that's it! Why didn't I think of that?!"
A powerful one-shot to blow away the boredom and flood me with dopamine.
Glancing around after standing up, the place was nearly empty thanks to the late hour.
Click click
Decision was quick; action quicker.
[Saintess LIVE ON: I'm bored]
It didn't take long for my long-silent channel to light up.
-??? -Wtf? -? What why'd it turn on -You wanna die b****? -? For real? "Hey everyone, hello?" -Whoa
-Wtf? She actually turned it on?
-???
-Notice post or die?
"Truth is, my body's been feeling really off, so I was gonna take the day off? But I can't sleep." -No way...
-Hoxy?
-Big one coming?
"So, out of nowhere, I'm thinking a chill late-night stream tonight." -Kya lol thanks lolol
-All you work drones GTFO~
-OK forgiven
-Lol this is acceptable
"Alright, so today's content is...!" [The broadcast has ended.] -Wtf where'd she go
-????
-You b**** no way?
-B**** bell-ditch at 3am? Over the line
-This crazy b**** lololololol
-Why'd it end? Glitch?
-Come back quick come back quick come back
"Huuuugh... haaaah...!"
Just three minutes after starting the stream, Lee Min-ji hit the end button.
And on her face—
"Now I feel alive!"
—was a smile brighter than ever before.