005. Regression (4)
005. Regression (4)
The 15th, for the first time.
Wednesday.
When I reached the 14th, I felt relieved just by the fact that a new date had arrived.
When I woke up on the morning of the 15th, I didn't feel too bad either.
Instead of regressing, I had gotten a little closer to Yeonju, and there was still over 400 million won left in the account.
But then, the market opened.
As I stared at the chart moving without having taken any position, other thoughts started to creep in.
What if.
What if the regression really is over?
"......."
The hand holding the mouse trembled slightly.
400 million won.
A huge sum of money that I thought I'd never even touch in my life until just a few days ago.
It was more than half of the money I was rolling before I went bust, and an amount that would never run out if I just lived normally.
And yet, I thought it was 'only' that much.
Only 400 million won.
If I could use regression at will, I could earn billions.
Even tens of billions, hundreds of billions.
That dream of renting a yacht and throwing parties on board every single day, which people joke about on online communities... is that going to disappear?
Of course, I'm not asking for that much, but still, I should at least be able to buy an apartment in Seoul, right?
400 million won is a bit short for that.
"...No."
...There's no way it ends at two times.
Things that happen twice usually happen a third time.
There must be some mechanism required.
Sleeping in the same house isn't enough.
Napping doesn't work either.
It didn't work even when I lay in the same bed with a drunk Yeonju.
...Do I have to sleep while stuck to her like glue?
I have a habit of hugging a blanket or pillow when I sleep, anyway.
I was lucky enough to do that last time, but I didn't this time, so maybe the conditions were off...?
"Ha, fuck...."
I didn't feel disgusted by the mere speculation of sleeping while hugging my younger sister.
But at the voice in my head whispering that I should seriously try that one more time, a curse word slipped out.
But I can't help it.
...If anyone in this world were given the chance to regress, they'd be able to do even worse things.
**
Yeonju fiddled with her laptop in the living room until late at night.
She didn't turn on her stream.
She didn't look at the community either.
And whether she really blocked that stalker person, her phone didn't ring.
"I'm going to bed first."
"Oh."
"Oppa, don't stay up too late."
"Yeah."
Yeonju, who had greeted me lightly, fell asleep shortly after.
I sat in the living room chair and just fiddled with my phone.
The chart I memorized today was already vivid in my head.
There was nothing more to check.
...So.
I have to at least try, right? Try.
"...."
After much deliberation, I got up from my seat.
When I carefully opened the bedroom door, Yeonju was curled up against the wall, asleep.
I sat on the edge of the bed, keeping my presence as quiet as possible.
Alcohol.
Same bed.
Night.
That alone wasn't enough.
How did I sleep the first two times?
I was drunk then too, so my memory was blurry.
...Did I really sleep while hugging her because I was drunk, just like I guessed?
Is it a system where it only counts as sleeping together if our bodies are actually touching, not just being in the same bed?
Do we have to be in close contact from start to finish?
Does it only count if we fall asleep together, or is it void if one of us wakes up in the middle?
There are too many variables to consider.
It's an unrealistic thing to begin with.
"......."
The moment I was agonizing endlessly while looking down at the sleeping Yeonju.
"...Oppa?"
Yeonju's eyes suddenly opened.
"Ah, are you awake?"
"...What are you doing?"
"No, just.... Checking if you were sleeping well."
"...?"
My spine chilled for a moment, but fortunately, it seemed Yeonju didn't take my suspicious behavior in such a malicious way.
I tried to sneak away while the atmosphere was still somewhat okay, but my wrist was grabbed by the hand Yeonju had stuck out from under the blanket.
"...Are you that anxious about leaving me alone?"
"......."
...Ah, is that how she understood it?
It's not that kind of good-natured worry at all.
The human being who is your oppa snuck in for a fucking sinister reason.
"I said I was fine."
"You looked like it."
"Then why are you doing that?"
"Just..., I couldn't sleep."
"Do you know you're terrible at lying, Oppa?"
"...."
Yeonju sighed as if she were tired.
Then she moved her body inward a little, clearing the edge of the bed.
"You're so worried about your younger sister who stupidly lost 60 million won in stocks that you can't sleep, right?"
"I told you to stop self-deprecating."
"So, no matter how much you comfort me, honestly, I can't be completely... fine. ...You know that the more you worry for no reason, the more I feel that way."
"...."
Yeonju regarded me as a 'foolish oppa who is restless and trying his best to take care of his younger sister in case she might commit suicide'.
...Of course, it's not that I don't have those feelings at all, but since my purpose is for a very selfish reason, my conscience pricks.
Because it's a snobbish reason to want to earn more money, even deleting the memory of having comforted her.
"...If you're really that anxious, do whatever you want."
"...I'll just be like this until you get a little better."
"Ha, seriously.... ...It seems like you're more anxious than I am, Oppa."
I lay down next to Yeonju, pretending I couldn't win.
Then, while calmly stroking her hair, I carefully narrowed the distance.
Doing something I hadn't even done when I was a kid at the age of 28, I forcibly suppressed the fucking guilt that was bubbling up in my chest.
"Sleep tight."
"...Yeah."
I carefully wrapped my arm around Yeonju's waist.
My body stiffened for no reason at the body temperature felt through the thin t-shirt.
...Wow, fuck. I feel like throwing up.
What am I doing to my younger sister just to turn back time, this.
"...."
Even though the human being who is her oppa, who usually had no interest in her, suddenly became affectionate and did this shit, perhaps because she was weak, my younger sister didn't even push away this kind of crazy behavior.
...It's absurd. Normally, she should have kicked me.
Back in high school, Yeonju was the kind of kid who would wrinkle her face even if our hands just bumped while eating.
Sometimes, if we ran into each other while eating school lunch, she would glare at me with a super rotten expression.
But how did it end up like this?
Why is this happening in the first place?
What on earth does God want from me?
"...Oppa."
"Uh, uh."
"Lower the AC temperature a bit. ...It's hot."
"Okay. ...Sleep tight."
"Yeah...."
Before sweat could seep out, I lowered the indoor temperature by 1 degree and closed my eyes while hugging Yeonju's back.
Will I be able to go back this time?
With that thought as the last, my consciousness sank.
...If I can't go back.
What kind of face should I face the morning with tomorrow?
**
"Umm...."
My arm was numb, so I opened my eyes.
Yeonju, who was lying on my arm like a pillow, was tossing and turning without even opening her eyes yet.
I had no sensation from my shoulder to my fingertips, as if I had slept in the same position all night.
I slept stuck to her enough for this.
I must have succeeded.
...The moment I thought that,
I realized I had already failed.
"...Ha, fuck."
July 16th.
Thursday.
8:36 AM.
"......."
I failed.
The date was flowing normally this time too.
"Uung...."
"...Did you sleep well?"
"Ah, yeah."
As I pressed my throbbing forehead, Yeonju, who had woken up at the sound of my presence, sat up on my arm.
Then, she roughly tidied up her messed-up hair with her hands and looked at me with a face that hadn't fully woken up yet.
"...Did you just wake up too, Oppa?"
"Yeah."
"I'm going to wash up first, so order some breakfast. Anything."
"...Sure."
Yeonju yawned as if it were nothing and headed to the bathroom, gathering the clothes she had brought in her carrier.
Unlike my younger sister who was acting like nothing was wrong, I shivered at the cold AC air while holding back the feeling of wanting to throw up.
"...Ah, fuck. This is driving me crazy."
I couldn't go back.
According to my will, I half-forced myself to sleep while hugging my younger sister.
...I feel like throwing up, seriously.
What would they say if I confessed this to my high school classmates?
Would they laugh at me, saying this bastard finally went crazy?
**
After eating breakfast, I spent all day racking my brain, staring at the chart that might be meaningless now.
The day I first regressed.
The day I regressed for the second time.
Both times, I was drunk.
It wasn't just Yeonju who was drunk; I was drunk too.
The time we fell asleep must have been almost the same.
It wasn't that one person passed out first and the other lay down long after.
But that was similar yesterday too.
Since Yeonju woke up, talked, and then we fell asleep together again..., it's hard to say the timing was off.
Then what on earth—
"...Ah."
While stroking my forearm, which had goosebumps from the AC air, I suddenly realized one important fact.
I don't usually turn on the AC as strongly as I did today.
So, usually, from a certain point, the AC would stop, and by the time I woke up, it would be stuffy, and sweat would seep out in most cases.
If so.
"Is it one of these?"
Do I need to be sweating quite a bit?
No, surely sweat itself must have flowed the day before yesterday too.
Then what's different?
What on earth—
"...."
...For a moment, a regression condition flashed through my mind too clearly.
It was so disgusting that I couldn't bear to believe it was the answer.
However,
The moment I thought of it, the option of not trying disappeared.
**
Tonight's dinner is a drinking table again.
We're siblings who don't really like alcohol in the first place, but how did it end up like this?
"Aren't we drinking too often these days?"
"Because I earned money."
"...A party because you earned money alone while everyone else is losing it?"
"People who earn when others lose are the happiest."
I secretly raised the AC temperature by 1 degree higher than usual.
Until light sweat formed on the temples and necks of both me and Yeonju.
I raised the mood with trivial stories, and until the corners of my younger sister's mouth, who doesn't laugh often, became loose, I played the clown and shoved plenty of alcohol down our throats.
"Ugh...."
I laid Yeonju, who had eventually passed out like that, on the bed, and I sat on the edge next to her.
I closed the eyelids of Yeonju, who was looking up at me with unfocused eyes, and after sighing deeply to myself, I bit my lip and spoke.
"Is your stomach okay?"
"Yeah. Just my head is dizzy...."
"Then sleep. I'm turning off the lights."
"Uung...."
Yeonju answered diligently in a groggy voice, then hugged the blanket tightly and curled her body into a ball.
She wasn't completely asleep yet.
I was also getting drunk, and my eyelids were heavy.
At this rate, we can fall asleep almost at the same time.
Conditions perfectly matching the two times I regressed.
I turned off the lights, lay down behind Yeonju, and wrapped my arm around her waist like yesterday.
As our body temperatures overlapped in the sultry air, sweat soon seeped out.
"It's hot...."
"I'm cold."
"Ah, I told you to turn the AC up higher...."
"Okay."
Pretending to listen to Yeonju's grumbling, I lowered the AC temperature by 1 degree and then raised it back up.
But Yeonju, who was fooled by the beeping sound, smacked her lips and started breathing evenly.
...At the same time, in the humid room, a drop of sweat slowly trickled down Yeonju's neck.
"......."
Is this really the condition?
Is my guess really correct?
...A guess that is fucking stupid but doesn't seem impossible, like 'maybe I licked her sweat in my sleep'.
I have to..., try it, right?
Since I've come this far.
"What is it...?"
"Mosquito."
"Ah...."
I reached out and wiped the sweat drop with my index finger.
Yeonju, drunk on sleep, didn't ask any further.
I looked down at the transparent moisture on my fingertip.
After a brief hesitation.
I brought my index finger to my mouth and touched it to the tip of my tongue.
...If the world were normal, there's no way this would be the condition.
I can't help it.
If it were normal, I wouldn't have lost 700 million won, and I wouldn't have been sent back to the past to recover it once.
"...."
My drunkenness and sleepiness were about to fly away due to guilt.
But I have to sleep.
I have to sleep even after committing this kind of act.
...Yeah, I'm just doing this as a sleeping habit because I'm drunk.
It's not intentional.
It just happened..., like this.
Bear it, bear it.
It's similar to drooling while sleeping.
I hugged Yeonju a little tighter.
So that our bodies wouldn't separate this time.
Then, I stuck my tongue out slightly, poked her neck, and closed my eyes tightly, entrusting my body to the drunkenness.
Alcohol.
Same body temperature.
Sweat.
Consciousness sinking almost simultaneously.
I closed my eyes while overlapping all possible conditions.
...Please.
Hoping that God will erase this kind of memory.
**
"...Hup."
As soon as I opened my eyes, I looked around.
But unlike the 15th I had already experienced, my younger sister was fast asleep next to me.
...No way.
Did I fail?
Is this, this kind of bullshit going to be preserved in my life...?
If she wakes up from the alcohol and remembers....
No. It won't be, surely.
"...."
I looked at the phone screen.
...July 15th.
Wednesday.
7:48 AM.
Unlike the last 15th, it seemed I woke up a little earlier this time.
"......Ha, hahaha. Thank you...."
...Anyway, I'm back.
Thank goodness.
"Seriously, I thought I was fucking doomed...."
The corners of my mouth went up on their own.
Laughter burst out.
The fucking memory still remains, but who cares?
That's all a thing of the past now.
Just like the past where I lost 700 million won disappeared, history has been modified so that I 'didn't' do such bullshit.
We call things that no one remembers and have no evidence 'delusions'.
So..., me licking my sister's neck is similar.
...Besides, even if I did, so what?
I'm going to earn at least a few billion from today to tomorrow, so I can lick it once, fuck.
"Oppa...?"
Yeonju, who was sleeping next to me, tossed and turned at my voice.
She forgot the image of the oppa who was overly protective, and it was the younger sister at the point where she had only revealed her inner thoughts and been comforted.
...Yeah, this is the right world.
I'm sorry, Yeonju.
I won't do this kind of fucking thing in the future.
Oppa can be satisfied enough with a few billion.
I can grow your money again too.
Then..., let's live diligently again from then on.
...After I grow it smartly this time, I'm never touching stocks again, I swear on our parents.