014. Conscience (3)
014. Conscience (3)
Yeonju came out of the bathroom after a long while.
Her bangs were damply soaked, as if she had washed her face, and the corners of her eyes were slightly red.
"Food?"
"...I gotta eat."
"What do you want to eat?"
"Anything. ...Oppa, you pick whatever."
Normally, she would have grumbled for ages just picking a single menu item.
Today, she didn't even look at me properly and zipped straight into the bedroom.
...Does she remember after all?
The events of the night of the 18th.
I don't know up to what point she remembers, but at least she seemed to clearly recall that she had something done to her by me.
However..., she doesn't seem to think of it as reality.
The timeframes are different to begin with, after all.
Rather than thinking she might have regressed, dreaming about it is far more rational, and since she's a rational person too....
...Anyway, it probably isn't.
She must definitely be remembering it as a dream.
Though I don't know how vividly she remembers it.
"......."
In the end, all I can do here is act like it's nothing.
Getting needlessly awkward and avoiding eye contact.
The moment I show any hint that something happened last night, her suspicion is bound to turn into certainty.
Just like usual.
I just need to act like a very ordinary oppa.
Lying on the mattress while the delivery is on its way, scratching my belly.
And acting completely indifferent with rotten-ass eyes will do the trick.
"Ah."
While hastily spreading out the delivered food on the dining table, Yeonju bent down to pick up a pair of chopsticks that had fallen under the table.
Her loose t-shirt slumped downward, and the thighs exposed beneath her short shorts came into view.
"...."
My gaze naturally followed.
It wasn't a tank top outfit like last night.
She wasn't even wearing particularly revealing clothes.
The shape of her breasts stood out strangely over her ordinary short-sleeved t-shirt.
"...."
...As she pressed down around her chest and sat back up, I immediately turned my head away.
Ha, fuck.
Just yesterday, I wouldn't have cared at all.
Even if she walked around wearing the same clothes, I wouldn't have paid any mind.
Whether she sat next to me, lay on my bed, or whatever she did, I felt nothing.
Now, the contours of her body catch my eye.
Even the sensations of last night come rushing back on their own.
That... soft and squishy—
"...I'll go get the kimchi."
"Ah, yeah."
While pretending to be nonchalant, I cursed myself inwardly.
It'll get better after a few days pass.
As time goes by, she'll look like she used to again.
It's just because her memories suddenly revived today.
Thinking that, I forcibly shoved rice into my mouth.
Yeonju, too, silently picked at her food on the opposite side of me.
...Without making eye contact even once throughout the meal, just like old times.
As soon as it hit 9 o'clock, I sat in front of the monitor.
I won't make a mistake this time.
1 billion won.
I had resolved not to be greedy this time, but the moment I placed my finger over the buy button, a lot of thoughts popped into my head.
...Because a simple question arose: if I don't get greedy this time, won't I consider the option of regression one more time?
The chart remembers.
When it rises.
Where it rebounds.
Up to the exact moment it collapses again.
I had indeed experienced the future getting distorted once.
But I also figured out the conditions for regression.
No matter how bizarre the method, I confirmed that I could return to one day prior if I set my mind to it.
If so, wouldn't it be fine to go all-in one more time here?
If I'm wrong, I can just come back.
"...."
...Sigh, gambling should be done in moderation too.
This time, Yeonju remembered too.
If I go back again, who knows how much more vividly she'll recall it.
Besides, there's no guarantee the future won't twist again.
Safely.
Let's really go safely this time around.
I took a position at the first spot I had memorized.
And.
10:00 AM.
"......What the hell."
The chart moved in reverse.
At first, I thought it was a common shakeout.
Because even in my memory, there was a small rebound in this section.
But 1 minute.
3 minutes.
5 minutes.
Bullish candles that didn't exist in my memory shot up one after another.
Prices that were supposed to drop went up.
And at spots where they should have briefly dipped, they bounced back even stronger.
"No, fuck. Wait a second."
The loss numbers increased like crazy.
960 million.
900 million.
840 million.
I need to cut losses.
The future had twisted once again.
But if I cut it here, it felt like it would drop right back down.
It felt like it would move according to my original memory, as if it had just been waiting for me to sell.
"...What a fucking mess."
Just a little more.
But the chart continued in the opposite direction, as if mocking my memory.
800 million.
760 million.
720 million.
"Ah..., I'm losing my mind. Seriously...."
In the end, I dumped everything.
Just around 700 million.
Leaving only the amount that was once my entire fortune, I buried my body straight into the chair.
"...What the hell is this."
Even after that, the chart on the monitor went up and down regardless of my memory.
Dropping at spots where it should rise.
Rebounding at times when it should collapse.
It's supposed to crash hard, but it goes up instead.
Instead of frustration and fear, the community was filled with jubilation.
A day completely different from the future I had memorized.
"Has the world line changed entirely...?"
Did I slip into a completely different world when I regressed?
Or did someone catch me copying money like using a cheat key?
Is God, or whatever gave me this ability, punishing me for using it too blatantly?
Or if not that.
"...Is my memory wrong?"
What if the charts I memorized are all fabricated memories to begin with?
What if my brain gets a little more damaged every time I regress, and I'm just believing a non-existent future is real?
The hypotheses piled up endlessly.
But no answer came out.
Only one thing was certain.
I can't make money in this regression.
The future information was wrong.
If I re-enter without any basis, I'll even lose the remaining 700 million.
"...Ha."
700 million.
It's definitely a lot of money.
The highest amount I held before the regression.
Originally, I should be grateful.
When I went through liquidation after liquidation, I had prayed that if they just sent me back to that time, I would do anything.
But whether because of the regression or whatever, I was already a body that had held up to 7 billion won in my hands.
I believed that at least 5 billion won could definitively become my money.
To eyes like mine, 700 million was... an amount I simply couldn't be satisfied with.
...I can't even buy a house with this money.
"...Just one more day."
Such words slipped out automatically.
No matter how twisted the future gets, one thing hasn't changed.
The 2.3 billion won I held right on the morning of the 16th.
I don't even need to grow it further from there.
If I go back to one day prior just once more, I can salvage at least another 1.6 billion won.
...That kind of amount, which I would barely earn after working my entire life.
As that amount shimmered before my eyes,
"...."
...I hastily shook my head.
Because something else completely unrelated flashed through my mind.
...I must be crazy.
It seems the problem was that my mental state was shaken up way too much.
Humoring viewers every day, taking sexual harassment, accepting all the sweet words flying in through DMs.
Wondering every day what phrasing to use to act kind, cute, and full of aegyo, and then returning to reality after a long while—my brain must have broken down.
"...Haa."
...Just how broken am I to be dreaming a dream like that?
A dream of having that kind of thing done to me by my actual oppa.
Even without properly pushing him away.
Halfway... to the level where I practically seduced him, on top of that.
And at the very end....
"Ah, fuck...."
Thinking up to that point, my eyes clenched shut again.
I lost count of how many times I washed my face just today.
Every time I washed my face with cold water, it felt like it got a bit better, but then again.
The moment I saw oppa's face, the sensations I felt in the dream came flooding back so vividly.
...No matter how much of a loser Lee Yeonwoo is, and a pathetic geek who hasn't even laid eyes on a girlfriend.
He's not some crazy bastard who would lay a hand on his younger sister.
He's been blunt since they were young.
He has no interest in others,
Doesn't act particularly affectionate even as family, and is a bit unhinged due to being an otaku, but.
At least he was a person who kept his boundaries.
And yet me.
Just because oppa seemed to have made a lot of money.
Just because he treated me a little well.
Just because he nonchalantly recovered tens of millions of won for me.
I sat alone and dreamed that kind of crap.
"...It's truly disgusting."
...If it were simply a dream with no coherence whatsoever, I could have just brushed it off thinking it was a nightmare.
But the reason I couldn't brush it off like that is because I myself was admitting to it to some extent.
I was tempted seeing the money oppa was rolling.
I honestly suspected a bit... why that person was suddenly treating me well.
...I even briefly entertained the thought that oppa was way better than some malicious trolls.
But no matter how much oppa looked like a pushover,
There are things you can do and things you shouldn't do.
"...."
...Still, it's just a dream.
Dreams aren't something you dream according to your own will, after all.
Strange scenes can get mixed in.
And you can casually commit deeds you'd never do in reality.
Since I unconsciously tried to harbor weird feelings, maybe my conscience gave me a harsh wake-up call.
So I just need to forget it.
It'll fade away after a few days pass.
And oppa will look nonchalant to me again just like before.
Like back in high school... that slumping, limp appearance he always had.
The moment I sat on the edge of the bed, coming to that conclusion.
Knock, knock.
"......!"
My shoulders jumped sharply.
I checked the clock.
10:03 PM.
"...Yeonju-ya."
Oppa's voice was heard from outside the door.
...For some reason, that low-pitched voice was a bit far from his everyday tone.
My heart instantly dropped to my stomach.
"...Why."
"Want to grab a beer?"
"......."
...He used to hate alcohol, so why on earth is he so persistently asking me to drink with him?
Should I just refuse?
But... wouldn't refusing make me look even weirder?
It's better to act nonchalant instead.
Confirming that a dream is just a dream,
And sharing silly chats with oppa like before might make this disgusting feeling disappear.
"...Yeah."
I ended up nodding.
The door opened.
Oppa was holding two beer cans in one hand.
"Come out. Let's drink in the living room."
"...Okay."
I came out of the room and sat side-by-side at the dining table.
A can opened, and the sound of carbonation escaping rang out briefly.
It felt like a strangely sinister gaze swept over my body.
But it's just my imagination.
Since I've been conscious of that weird dream since morning, even an ordinary look feels that way.
I needed to loosen up the atmosphere.
If I just drank in silence like this, it felt like the scenes I saw in the dream would keep flashing in my mind.
I swallowed a gulp of beer and opened my mouth in as casual a voice as possible.
"Oppa, are you not seeing any girls?"
Oppa stopped the hand holding the can.
"...Suddenly?"
"Why do you keep asking me to drink with you anyway? ...Go get a girlfriend or something."
"......."
Oppa didn't answer.
He just raised the can,
And slowly moistened his lips with the alcohol.
While intensely licking me with his eyes.
...No,
I must be hallucinating that he's licking me.
There's no way Lee Yeonwoo would do that.