Midterms (2)

First period. I sat at my desk looking completely out of place, opened my textbook, and listened to the lesson. The feel of a pen in my hand after so long was a contradictory thing—unfamiliar and yet somehow familiar at the same time.

Obviously, a fool doesn't suddenly get smart just by cracking open a book. I felt bad for the teacher explaining so earnestly up at the front, since I couldn't really follow the material. Still, even if I didn't understand it, I figured I could at least jot down the key points she was covering and ask Yeonhee about them later. So I kept my hand moving.

"Hrrrk..."

And then there was that sound that had been blooming in the air for a while now, lodging itself firmly in my ear. A snore pitched just quietly enough that the teacher up front wouldn't catch it, but everyone nearby definitely would.

Here I was trying this hard, and this guy was sprawled out face-down, snoring without a care in the world. It was pretty infuriating, but I decided to just ignore it and focus on my own work.

Second period. I still didn't understand the material, but this class was taught by a teacher who practically handed out points. She went through and highlighted exactly what would be on the test, giving so much away that it would actually have been harder not to score well.

Not that I could do much more than underline the textbook and scribble notes according to what she said. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Anyway, I pushed my concentration to the limit and kept writing, and before I knew it that period was over too.

Third period. Math. I got absolutely wrecked.

You need to actually understand something to take notes on it. Trying to jot down math symbols I'd never even used before, I didn't know how to write them properly. Even when I tried to copy them as best I could, they came out ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠so crooked the formulas themselves looked hideous.

No wonder there ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠are so many math dropouts...

I myself had given up on math at some point without even realizing when. And even as I sat there just scribbling, not understanding a thing, the teacher barreled ahead with the lesson.

"Alright, I'm erasing this now."

Her arm, eraser in hand, traced a few parabolas across the board, and the chalkboard gleamed like new.

Ah. I haven't finished writing it down yet.

Even a moment of distraction and the content vanished in an instant. I found myself resenting a teacher who rushed through the material this fast. I couldn't understand the lesson as it was. If my notes ended up full of holes on top of that, I was done for.

A flicker of anxiety made me glance around, and my eyes caught on Yeonhee sitting next to me.

"Lee Yeonhee..."

I called her name quietly, hoping for some help. She turned to look at me and tilted her head.

"I couldn't get the last part of that just now. Could you show me your notes?"

At my question, Yeonhee rested a finger on her lips and thought for a moment. Then, apparently having made up her mind, she wrote something in her notebook, tore the scrap out, folded it neatly into the shape of a little letter, and set it on my desk.

Curious, I unfolded it and checked what was inside.

"......"

Was that what she wanted to hear from me? I stared at her in a daze, as if trying to escape reality, but she just smiled back with that shameless look on her face.

Then she wrote something else in her notebook, folded it neatly, and placed it on my desk again. This one said:

As if she were granting me a grace period. As if what I was going to say had already been decided.

I had two options left. One was to swallow my pride and say those words. The other was to just give up on the notes. But I didn't hesitate long. The first option was the only real choice I had, and the lesson was still moving forward even as I sat there deliberating.

Besides, the person asking for a favor is the one in the weaker position. Yeonhee, the one granting it, had nothing to lose.

She'd offered to help me, though. If she wants to hear "nuna," maybe saying it is just paying her back...

After somehow talking myself into it, I steeled my resolve. I forced my lips, which refused to part, to move, and called out to Yeonhee.

"Lee Yeonhee... I'll, uh, say it now..."

The words rose all the way to my throat, then sank back down. I opened and closed my mouth several times before I finally, barely, managed to get them out.

"Nu...na, please... show me..."

I did it. I stammered a lot, but I did it. I'd offered up my dignity as a sacrifice and gotten the notes in return. This was a net gain.

"......I said it, so show me your notes now."

The moment I managed to get the words out, another small folded scrap of paper appeared on my desk.

......How much of my dignity did I have to lay bare?

I pleaded with my eyes that this was going too far, but the only answer I got was that same shameless smile. For a second I wanted to give up, but I'd already said it once. Backing out now would just make me feel even more cheated.

I clenched my teeth, about to snap it out—then thought better of it. If I did that, she'd probably make me say it again. So I said it nicely.

"Nuna... please show me...!"

Not that it wasn't still embarrassing. I enunciated every syllable clearly so she could hear it, and only then—apparently satisfied—did she hold out her notebook.

Haha... well, if she's satisfied, that's good, I guess... My shame had detonated. My remaining life points had dropped to zero. But if Nuna was satisfied, then I suppose everything worked out... hahaha...

What followed is a tale for another time: the sudden emptiness that crashed over me afterward left me unable to take proper notes, my notebook a blank slate, and I ended up calling her nuna over and over.

Fourth period. Maybe because lunch was getting close, I could feel myself getting hungrier. I wasn't the only one—the kids who'd been sleeping face-down around me started getting up one by one. And that included Kang Hanbyeol, who'd been sprawled out snoring right in front of me.

He must have caught a whiff of food, because he suddenly bolted upright, eyes wide, and stared at the clock.

Is that really all he's learned from going to school?

I didn't study either, but even I wasn't that bad. I got briefly distracted by his bizarre ability, then turned my eyes back to the board. I followed along as the teacher filled it with marker, taking notes as hard as I could, until the board was full and class ended.

Ding-dong-dang~

The moment the bell rang, everyone moved in perfect unison toward wherever they were going. And the guy who immediately spun around:

"Snack bar? Let's go. Snack bar? Let's go."

"Alright, I got it. Calm down."

His voice was still hoarse from having just woken up, but his passion for food was so intense he looked like a man possessed. I was hungry too, but I still had to ask, didn't I?

"You two coming?"

I held back Kang Hanbyeol, who kept pestering me, and asked the two sitting next to us before we left.

"If Juyeong's going, of course nuna's going too~"

"What's with the 'nuna' all of a sudden?"

"......"

At Yeonhee's out-of-nowhere remark, Kim Naeun, who had no idea about the context, tilted her head. I just wiped away tears on the inside.

"Hey... let's just go..."

"Yeah!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed Kang Hanbyeol and got out of there first.

"Juyeong~ Nuna's coming too~"

"......?"

I could see Yeonhee following behind us, but I just played dumb and fled to the snack bar. Kim Naeun, still clueless about what was going on, trotted along after her.

"Still sulking?"

"...No."

"Come on. Your lip's sticking out like that."

Yeonhee kept poking my cheek, teasing me relentlessly. I just focused on the bread in front of me without a word, and eventually she went back to normal and asked about what had happened that morning.

"How'd it feel, studying for the first time in a while?"

"I didn't understand a thing, so I just took notes."

"You worked hard. I can teach you the stuff you don't know later."

She said it the way a parent would, praising their kid for studying. What a good boy~

Then Kim Naeun, who'd been listening in from the side, joined the conversation.

"So you and Juyeong decided to study together?"

"Yeah. I said I'd tutor him until midterms."

"But Juyeong didn't used to study, right?"

Well, originally, yeah. Things just kind of ended up this way.

"Still, I have to go to college."

"Studying and dating at the same time. How romantic~"

Studying is studying. What's dating got to do with it? I guess these days anything counts as romantic.

"Han Juyeong studying. Is the sun gonna rise in the west tomorrow?"

"You slept through the entire class."

"Real men don't study."

Since when did being a real man mean being an idiot?

Well, whatever. Not like I have any reason to tell him what to do.

Until recently I'd been in the same boat. Who was I to give advice? I left Kang Hanbyeol to ramble on by himself and asked Yeonhee about our after-school plans.

"You want to go right after school? Or stop by home first and meet at the library?"

"I've got some stuff to grab at home, so I'll stop by and then meet you at the library."

"Got it."

I did go home, but I didn't really have anything to grab, so I just changed clothes, took the same bag I'd brought, and headed to the library. I went into the building at the address she'd given me and took in the interior at a glance.

It's huge.

It was nothing but books and people reading or studying, but since this was my first time coming to a library, everything felt new. I was looking around when I suddenly thought of Yeonhee and searched for her, but she wasn't at any of the seats.

Hasn't she gotten here yet?

She'd said she had things to prepare, so maybe it was taking time. Standing around felt awkward, so I figured I might as well grab a seat first and headed toward an empty spot in the corner.

I sat down in a quiet seat with nobody around, pulled my notebook out of my bag, and was looking over what I'd written today when suddenly my vision went dark.

A sweet scent drifted from behind me, and I felt the touch of small, slender hands covering my eyes, sliding down over my face. Maybe it was the scent. Maybe it was how close she was. My heart started pounding for no reason, and my thoughts tangled.

It was fine when we were all together at school. But the moment it was just the two of us—even though it hadn't been merely a day or two since we'd met—an awkward feeling crept in.

"Guess who~"

And that playful voice from behind. If ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I let anything show, who knew what kind of teasing I'd get, so I put on a mask of composure and answered as nonchalantly as I could.

"What are you doing? We're not kids."

Once I answered, her hands slowly fell away and my vision returned. I turned around, and sure enough, there she was, standing in casual clothes with a tote bag slung over her shoulder.

"I am a kid, though?"

"......That's not what I meant."

"Never mind... let's just get started."

"Tch. Would it kill you to play along a little?"

If I played along any more, I wouldn't be able to keep my composure. That's why.

Yeonhee set her tote bag on the desk and settled down softly right next to me.

"......?"

"What?"

I watched her with a puzzled look, and she asked as if wondering what the problem was.

"I was just wondering why you're sitting next to me."

"Obviously I have to sit next to you if I'm going to teach you."

Couldn't you teach from across the table...?

"Teaching is fine, but do you have to sit this close?"

"If we're too far apart I can't see your notes. We need to be about this close to see them."

Is that how it is? But I found this distance incredibly embarrassing, so why did she look completely fine?

That's what I'd thought—until I snuck a glance sideways and caught sight of her ears, flushed red.

She was embarrassed, and yet she was still glued this close to me. I stared at her, wondering why, when a single possibility flashed through my mind—

No. There's no way it's that.

This wasn't some light novel. It was such a stupid delusion I stuffed it into a corner of my brain.

Too much self-consciousness is a disease.

Or maybe I'm just dense?

"Juyeong?"

Her voice calling my name pulled me back from fantasy to reality.

"Ah, sorry. I zoned out for a second."

"Did you? Was it something important?"

Beats me. I still don't know if this is important or not.

"No, not really."

"Then we can start now?"

"Yeah."

I thought we were finally getting started, but she stopped as she was about to pull out a book and asked,

"Oh, before we start—what's your worst subject?"

"Math was the hardest."

"I guess math is hard for everyone... Alright, let's go through them one by one."

"Okay."

Time to throw out the delusions. Right now, I needed to focus on the studying in front of me.