What'cha Gonna Do TV, What'cha Gonna Do TV, Loser TV♥ A Deep Night When Everyone's Coconeh Coconeh Delledobi in Dream Hill
In the deep night when everyone was sweetly snoring away, dreaming of Deledebi Dreamland. Inside the secret base of Darkness.
In a certain warehouse where no one came and went, a terrifying and wicked plan was underway.
A secretive whisper flows from the wristwatch-style walkie-talkie.
"Don't worry. The operation's going smoothly so far. It's been five whole months since I infiltrated Darkness. Finally made contact with the target, Tyranno."
The identity of the one whispering into the small walkie-talkie, communicating with Earth's magical girls, was none other than the head of Darkness's costume production and management department, Hypnosis Aunt!
Of course, "Hypnosis Aunt" was a fake name. No one in their right mind would use something like that as a real name.
Her true identity was the magical girl Shining Lord. True to her title "Lord of Light," she wielded light itself as her weapon, and she'd infiltrated Darkness on a secret mission.
"Sh-shut up! Then why don't you come here and try it! Do you know how ruthless the branch manager is? They accept anyone who applies as a villain, but they sniff out spies like bloodhounds!"
Thinking of the other magical girls lounging around doing nothing made her blood boil, but what could she do? She'd lost at spy infiltration poker.
"They just laze around eating and playing all day, but they catch spies like ghosts. Huh? Know what happens if they catch you? You get dragged to Siberia and turned into live bait for mesugaki mosquitoes."
Shining Lord had once seen the fate of a villain caught as a spy. Whispers of "loser♥ loser♥" in their ears kept them from sleep, their magic drained 24/7 by the mosquitoes until they TS'd into a mesugaki...
'I absolutely hate that!'
She had to get home no matter what. Even if it was just to see the bunny and fox hentai waiting in the cuckoo folder on her computer!
'If only I hadn't gotten that royal straight flush in spy infiltration poker! I didn't even believe in straight flushes!'
No wonder her luck had felt off. It was all that bastard from Gyeongsang-do!
"Still, I've dodged the branch manager's watch for five months. Five whole months acting like a total exhibitionist perv hypnosis aunt. Any suspicion about me should be mostly gone by now. Time to get active."
There was this manga called Death Note. It was about a protagonist with a notebook that could kill by name alone, and a detective trying to catch him in a battle of wits. In it, the detective once hid a camera in the protagonist's room. When the protagonist noticed, how did he dodge suspicion? He watched porn to throw them off—betting no idiot would watch smut with a hidden camera around. But it backfired, making him more suspicious because he didn't jerk off at the perfect timing. The detective's sharp instincts caught it, and boom—busted for not fapping to porn.
Shining Lord got the idea from that manga: act like a deranged exhibitionist middle-aged hypnosis aunt, and the branch manager wouldn't suspect a thing. It worked.
'Five months living as an exhibitionist perv hypnosis aunt. Five whole months!'
Enduring all sorts of ridiculous antics, she'd finally met the target today. But the target was... pretty different from expectations. Was this op really worth it? The thought crossed her mind. He looked like a good kid, annoying looks and mouth aside. Plus, the Magical Girl Association had ruled him not a minor based on his intellect.
"It's not that, but... isn't there another way? Do we really have to touch a minor...?"
At just 20, Shining Lord looked shockingly aged, scaring off guys. Despite her youthful age, she had the thick-milky scent and voluptuous 30s milf vibe that repelled young men. But if this op succeeded, she'd get a cure for her aged looks.
"Got it. I'll contact you later. This is Piano-chan, signing off."
The Doctor's room, where she'd dropped by out of boredom, looked like it'd been bombed. Huge computer, her glued to a game. Floor littered with Monster, Hot Six, Red Bull cans. Walls framed with photos of this great Tyranno-sama.
The central lab had cleaning bots, but this was pure pigsty!
"Ugh, loser Doctor, clean up and live like a human."
Wading through trash, I spot something new. A square bottle fresh from Maekyung Craft? Green liquid sloshing inside. Like a fantasy recovery potion.
"Doctor. What's this? Never seen it before."
Doctor glances back from her game. "That's my new mint mouthwash. Earth ones are fine, but the flavor fades fast. Made one that lasts five hours unless you use another kind."
"Hmm."
Mint mouthwash, huh. Sounds tasty. Pop the big cup-like lid, press mouth to the round opening.
Gulp.
Slurp... nom nom... mmm, tasty. Not bad. Pretty good for something loser Doctor made.
Rich, cool mint floods my mouth. Tart mint spreads down my throat, blooming in my belly.
"Doctor. Gimme one too."
"No spares now. I'll make more later."
"Tch."
Loser Doctor with spares? And won't share this yummy stuff with me? Must be some evil plot to hog it all. Greedy Doctor. Now I'm mad.
This delicious drink? I'm downing it all. Not leaving a drop.
Grab the bottle with both hands, pour the rest down my throat.
Gulp gulp glug glug.
"Pwah! Delicious."
Licked it clean, last drop gone. Mouthwash? Dunno what that means. But this mint mouthwash drink is revolutionary.
In Noopia novels, "gargle gargle" popped up a lot. Didn't know what it meant till now. It's the sound you make drinking this!
"Fweeee..."
Breathing out after? Minty wind rises from my gut. Cool.
"Loser♥ Loser♥"
Minty freshness making my mesugaki taunts even zingier? With this cool buff, I could loser eleven times a second. Old record: ten per second.
Maybe smash it today, set a new Guinness Quatro Cheese Whopper Book record!
"Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥Loser♥"
...Uh. Forgot how many mid-way. But this Tyranno-sama doesn't fail, so eleven, right? Wow! New loser♥ champ!
Back home, fix the Post-it—no, the plaque—to eleven.
Gotta tell Doctor this joyous news. Wait, what're they doing?
"Loser Doctor, whatcha doing? Building a demon harem in hell game again?"
Loved that game's tune. Boom boom da-ra-ra bing bong tro-lo-long?
Wade through trash to loser Doctor. Huge screen: white bob-cut, black eyepatch character swinging a long katana. White swimsuit-like outfit... poor thing, too poor for skirt fabric? Ass hanging out.
Sword swings send poor mushrooms and snails flying.
"Loser Doctor. What game? That you, loser Doctor?"
Name "OurUriaBest"? Loser Doctor has a kid? Must love 'em tons to nick it that.
Heh. Loser Doctor's kid. Bet a total loser spitting image. Wanna see.
"Strong, right?"
One slash, sad slime flies.
"Dunno 'bout strong. Slime's the pitiful one."
"Puhuhu. Yeah, could see it that way."
Watching loser Doctor's loser char fight? Kinda fun. Maybe play later. With my god-tier controls, rank 1 easy.
"Oh. Ah, it's here again."
"What? What's here?"
Far off, another player's char approaches loser Doctor. Rich blonde hair, huge tits spilling from white shirt. Green skirt barely hiding ass. Tanned light-brown skin.
Entry of "MagicalGirlGoldSun."
"Hostile guild member. Not on good terms."
"Not good terms? Ah♥ No way loser Doctor gets beat by that tiny thing♥ Wasn't even loser—you're king loser Doctor♥"
"Not like that. I win fights. I'm strong. Win four outta ten."
"So lose six outta ten♥ Can't even beat that loser more than draws, loser Doctor♥ Total king loser♥"
Then MagicalGirlGoldSun stops before loser Doctor.
And dumps scary, mean words on our loser Doctor! Gasp! This loser dares call loser Doctor idiot? Only this Tyranno-sama teases loser Doctor!
Loser Doctor's quick retort. But such a loser chat.
"Kuh, should've hit reflect later!"
Is this real? King loser Doctor—knew they were king loser, but this king-king loser level? Unreal.
"Step aside, king loser Doctor. How ya ever gonna win like that?"
I shove Doctor aside, plop at keyboard.
"Our king-king loser Doctor is king-king loser, but only I get to tease 'em!"
"Puh!"
Suddenly MagicalGirlGoldSun spams skills then logs off.
"Huh?"
Thought they wanted a fight, but quit? Scared and ran?
"Puh! That punk 100% ragequit. Puh, kuh, kukuku. Puhahaha!"
Doctor behind me bursts out laughing.
"Kuh, puhuh, kukukukuku. Ah, haven't laughed like this in forever. Stress from deadlines was killer—haven't belly-laughed in ages. Thanks, Tyranno. All you."
Doctor hugs me, rubs face on mine.
"Ah, loser Doctor! This Tyranno-sama's plump cheeks are collapsing!"
Guinness intangible cultural treasure, my cheeks getting rubbed off! By loser Doctor!
"Laughed so hard my sides hurt. But Tyranno, why'd you come to my room outta nowhere?"
Huh... why did I? Oh!
"Right, Lion!"
Today's the day for Operation Embarrassing Video of Gale-Calling Chae Sua! Lion went to the park first to clear people and prep—just wait a bit, they said. Forgot coming to Doctor's!
"Ugh! All 'cause of loser Doctor! Doctor! Me and Lion are off to Earth!"
"Okay, don't come back too late~"