53. Loser♥ Loser♥ Behold the Greatness of the Little Devil Costume, You Losers♥

Humans and Darkness have been bickering at a moderate level for a long time—not quite washing away blood with blood, but more like rinsing tomato juice with tomato juice.

Darkness steals the "emotional energy" unique to humans to build a fairy socialist paradise. Humans fight back to stop villains from tying people up and tormenting them for that same energy. Our goals clash head-on, making conflict inevitable, and in the process, beings who can wield magic in human bodies were born: magical girls.

Villains and magical girls fought a ton, but they influenced each other just as much. As Darkness's invasions dragged on, we absorbed bits of each other's cultures. Magical girls mimicked our magic power and spell tech while battling us, creating new strengths. In return, we embraced humanity's super-fun culture—like comics and movies. Somehow it feels like Darkness got the short end of the stick, but nah, must be my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠imagination.

Then, right when human culture was booming inside Darkness, some villain said this: "Let's rock some badass costumes too."

Costumes! The alpha and omega of magical girls! The very symbol of magical girls themselves! Before costumes, we all wore the same unified getup in Darkness: a splotchy frog-pattern military uniform. Baggy pants wider than our thighs, shirt tucked into the pants like some extreme loser fashion disaster.

While magical girls fluttered around in frilly, flowy dresses or badass red capes, we had to fight in our 80s-era military rags. The side effects were brutal: getting roasted eternally on SNS... looking ugly no matter what... fewer villain wannabes... plummeting morale as a result...

But ditching that old uniform for flashy, cool costumes wiped all those problems clean away!

So why am I ranting about this? Because I'm in the costume-exclusive storage room where all of Darkness's costumes are made and kept. Time to film Chae Sua's humiliating video, and hey, I might make a cameo. Might as well look hot in a cute costume while I'm at it.

Oh, and this is my first time here too. Costumes are for ugly losers anyway—someone as ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠pretty, kind, beautiful, and handsome as me, Tyranno, has zero need for 'em.

The wide room's littered with pink water-drinking elephants here and there, and colorful costumes dangle from ceiling racks everywhere.

"So many loser costumes."

The walls are completely buried in outfits—it feels like a dry cleaner's on Earth. Leather club costume... spiky thorns everywhere costume... bunny girl... reverse bunny... virgin killer sweater... three heart stickers... Barbour coat... liquid monster...? Why is every costume's fabric area this tiny?

"Wh-what's this? If you wear it, everything shows. Is this even clothes...?"

Just three bandages total, and that's the outfit...? Two are those round ones for post-shot wounds? Did something else fall off? I looked around, but nothing.

"Hey, Lion. Do we run short on fabric when making costumes? Are we poor?"

"Huh? Yeah? You call me?"

Lion, who came with me, jumped and hung back up the costume she was holding. Glanced at it—something like "Dog-Pervert-Precision-Mini-Terminator-Baby-Seed-Massacre-Juice-Squeezer-Condom-Swimsuit"? Nah, imagination.

"A-are we poor? Is that it?"

I didn't think we were rich, but poor? I trembled in shock, and the loser cat patted me.

"Don't worry. We got tons of money. But we're not poor... I dunno. I don't know much about costumes either. Never wear 'em, so never paid attention."

So Lion's a newbie here too?

"Makes sense. You're in human form now, but until recently, loser cat was prancing naked in front of everyone."

Loser cat exhibitionism extreme gross♥

"You saying that on purpose? Makes me sound like a total exposure perv."

"What, did I lie? Tyranno never lies. If I say 1+1=2, then 1+1 is 2."

"?"

"?"

Something's off. Was 1 minus 1 equal to 2?

"Anyway, I'm not an exhibitionist—"

Lion opened her mouth to deny what me, her, Doctor, and every loser in the world knows is true—when the costumes parted like curtains, and an unfamiliar loser burst out.

"Oh, whoa! Exhibitionist! You love showing off, huh! For anyone who doesn't know, exhibitionism is when you get off on exposing your body—it's the Hitomi tag 'exhibitionism,' total prime pussy-dick-sucking-tag..."

Pig-huge fat tits, pointless flab everywhere on her ass, massive hips, plump juicy thighs, and that creepy huffing breathing. Straight out of an erotic manga—like a fleshy pervert auntie!

"Eek...!"

I hid behind Lion without thinking.

"What the—ya scared me... Who the hell are you? Who's allowed in here? I know most Darkness faces, but you're new."

Lion raised her arm to protect me.

"D-don't misunderstand... I didn't hide 'cause of a loser like that..."

Just... middle-aged aunties like her use hypnosis apps... or shady white pills... or have insane stamina... Feels like it.

Don't judge by looks? That's what ugly people who aren't pretty, beautiful, and handsome like me, Tyranno, say♥ Look at me—my face screams smart, classy, brave, genius.

"Hehehe, s-sorry for the late intro. I'm Hypnosis Aunt, head of costume production and management in Darkness—also vice-head, section chief, team lead, assistant manager, staff, intern, all of it."

Head vice section team lead assistant staff intern. So many titles... Definitely high up.

"Hm... okay, Hypnosis Aunt. You manage all this solo? Everything?"

"N-no staff at all... Just you, Lion, and the great exec Tyranno, right?"

This loser's got an eye.

"Not bad eye for a loser. You even know who I am."

"Hehehe. H-how could I not know the world's greatest, cutest, adorablest, loveliest, h-handsomest, coolest, most beautiful T-Tyranno?"

Stutters a bit, kinda clumsy, but seems nice enough.

"S-so, what brings you two here? If you'd messaged ahead, I'd have g-greeted you—s-sorry."

Hypnosis Aunt bowed deeply.

"Nah, we showed up unannounced, so no biggie. But why are all the costumes such pervy crap? No normal ones? Nothing useful for battle?"

"W-well, costume m-management tech advanced, so most self-maintain now. Plus branch chief makes hobby stuff—total pro at it. S-so nobody visits our d-department anymore. Y-you two are the first this month."

"Heard the costume dept had no demand, no people, basically dying. Didn't know it was this bad."

"Wh-what can ya do... hehe. M-my fault for sucking. B-but with a great, noble visitor like Tyranno, it'll swarm with people soon."

"Heh. Good eye for a loser. Don't sweat it, loser-loser Hypnosis Aunt. Now that Tyranno graced you, it'll be like France's Hollywood—crowds incoming."

"But how's no people connect to all costumes being garbage?"

"W-well... empty racks bugged me, so I filled 'em with my personal hobby clothes... hehe."

Wait. So we're surrounded by a loser perv auntie's exposure fetish outfits?

"Urp... Lion, my stomach's churning..."

Gonna hurl...

"No shit like this—normal costumes?!"

"Those are in the warehouse boxes... Or I got a few set aside—wanna see?"

"Lion... let's check those... Can't stay here longer or I'll catch the perv-perv virus and—Urk!!"

Couldn't hold it—magic vomit surged up. But imagine it: surrounded by hundreds of perv potbelly uncle or fleshy auntie exposure outfits. Oh, and magic vomit? Mana reflux from the gut—sparkly rainbow, odorless, colorless, pretty stuff. Not puke, got it?

"Ugh... still queasy..."

Been out of that perv-riddled room a while, but my gut's still flipping. Total nightmare!

That room was...

"Tch, looks familiar but not Darkness... creepy."

Damn. When I feel sick, shouldn't loser cat worry about me? Duh?

"Loser cat... still queasy... care about me, loser..."

No tact for a loser...

"Sorry. Got lost in thought. I'll kick that guy's ass later."

Other thoughts with me right here? Big sin—should spank her butt raw, but I'll let it slide once.

Lion soothed me while sipping coffee. We're in the Darkness cafe now. Quiet, cozy spot. Classical music hums with soft chatter.

"Wasn't total loss though. Check it—we scored an awesome costume!"

I stood, flaring my epic cape. Cute little horn pair on my head. Sharp fangs like a vampire. Trident just like the one used by the underworld god Zeus from Roman mythology—pointy, majestic weapon. Cute-yet-dignified black wings flapping at my waist. My whip next to it.

The black-with-red-accents little devil costume screamed "fresh from hell"—pure grand demon vibes!

"Rawr! I am the grand demon incubus Tyranno! Kneel before my majesty and epic trident, losers!"

I raised the trident, mashed the button—blade sparkles rainbow!

I could feel it without looking. This body's noble, majestic pose! Perfect match for the little devil costume—I slurped my pre-ordered tomato juice.

Vampire? Nah.

"Ah, got it on my hand."

Wiping red tomato juice when the cafe waiter approached this fearsome little devil Tyranno.

"Um, Tyranno... I get you're hyped, but tone it down—others are bothered..."

Sigh... tactless loser ruins the mood? No one could hate this cute-scary costume. Loser. Pay with death.

"Hmph♥ Noisy♥"

"Y-yes?"

"Who're you to lecture, loser♥ Your loser lecture hurts my ears♥ Apologize now♥"

I poked his gut with the trident tip.

"Still noisy though..."

"Noisy♥ If it's too loud, shove in earplugs, loser♥ Oh? Can't afford 'em? Pfft! Your wallet's a total loser too♥"

"N-no, I got money!"

"Pfft! You suck at lying, loser? Even if Tyranno nailed it, lying's bad♥ This loser♥ Loser wallet, loser liar♥ You'll die single♥ No marriage, wonder if you can even hold a guy's hand♥"

"Grr..."

"Oh, mad? What'll you do♥ Got time to rage? Clear those cobwebs from your barren loser womb first♥"

Loser clenched his fist.

"Fist spotted♥ Look at the fist♥ Gonna hit me♥? Hit me♥ Hit me♥ You can't anyway, you pathetic loser♥"

I wiped tomato juice on his apron.

"There, loser♥ Breeding-fail barren loser, be my hand towel♥ Don't go home and jerk to failure-cunt ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠natural selection just 'cause Tyranno's noble hand touched it♥"

"Ugh... ugh... I'll make bank and marry a mesugaki hubby..."

Waiter finally sobbed from my mesugaki roast and fled.

"Ahh, refreshing. Teasing that loser fixed my tummy♥"

Slurped more tomato juice.

"Should I toss this straw? Fwa. Tomato juice after roasting a loser? Peak."

"Mm... Tyranno. Wait here a sec. Gotta kill ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠someone—no, bathroom break."

"Hmph♥ Can't even hold your pee, baby loser♥ Why not diaper up♥"