55. Nooo Nooo♥ Hypnosis Nooo♥
A purple dimensional gate appears in the park I marked out ahead of time.
"Ugh, Lion's gotta be super pissed by now, huh?"
She said she'd go on ahead and I'd follow soon after, but I goofed off in Doctor's room and lost track of time.
"This is all that loser's fault—loser Doctor. If that loser Doctor didn't exist, there'd be no Doctor's room, and I wouldn't have had any reason to hang out there in the first place."
I might've sprouted massive horns instead of ears by now. But I'm not scared. Horns are part of this mesugaki little devil costume I'm wearing anyway. I've got my own cute pair of little devil horns on top of my head, so I won't back down from any horns. Worst case, I'll ram her like those Swiss milk cows fighting.
Do milk cows fight with their udders, though?
"Lion, it's me! I was a little late, huh? Hehehe."
I poke my head through the dimensional gate. Sure enough, Lion glares at me with an angry face.
"Why are you so late! Don't tell me you spaced out doing something stupid again?!"
Lion stands there with her arms crossed under her terrifyingly huge tits, looking down at me. Check out those iron fists clenched tight. They're about to smash a knuckle-flick meteor right into my round, cute little head any second.
"But I've got something to say too! I'm the one who's wronged here. It's all because of Doctor that I was late."
"Let's hear what lame excuse you've got this time."
I explain as I pull my body out of the dimensional gate.
"I went to Doctor's room, and that loser loser Doctor was getting verbally wrecked by some random loser in an online game. Even if it's loser Doctor, she's our loser Doctor. How dare some faceless loser mock Doctor? So I stepped in, beat their ass for her, and that's why I'm late."
Even now, if I close my eyes, that distant memory flashes back like it happened ten seconds ago. "What're you gonna do, fridge?" and "Eat shit, air fryer" were pure gold, even on replay.
"Sigh, fine. As long as you weren't off doing something weird, I'll let it slide this once."
Lion's loser hand ruffles my hair like crazy!
"Hands off, you loser cat! Who said you could touch my head without permission? Jeez. I worked hard to style it, and now you've messed it all up with your clueless pawing."
I put so much effort into this hair to match my cute little devil horns.
"I put some real thought into today's costume."
I adjust the crooked little devil horn headband. These horns are the killer cute point of a mesugaki little devil.
And it's not just the horns. Sharp fangs like a zombie. Pointy fork spear like a spiky-headed triangle guy. Tiny wings sprouting from my waist. This look I prepped for starring in Chae Sua's ultimate humiliation video is straight out of hell's pit—a little devil incarnate, the avatar of pure evil!
It took thorough preparation. Like that saying: If I had an hour to chop wood, I'd spend thirty minutes downloading Minecraft 1.60.3 for free—Francis Bacon? Nah, whatever. Point is, my genius self got the message across perfectly.
"Ahem. So, loser cat, you've obviously finished all the prep before I got here, right? You didn't half-ass it like a true loser cat, did you?♥ I'd be so disappointed if you did—super disappointed!♥"
"What kinda nonsense is that? Of course everything's done."
As expected. Just like Lion set it up, the park's completely empty—no people in sight. Not even a baby mouse shadow. My subordinate's got skills. For a loser cat, she nailed the mission I gave her.
"Where's Chae Sua? When's that empty-headed loser magical girl showing up?"
"The magical girls have this park surrounded right now."
Even those thick-skulled loser magical girls grew some brains, huh? Smart move not rushing straight in. If they had, they'd have seen this Tyranno-sama's terrifying great devil mesugaki costume and pissed themselves on the spot!
"I made 'em an offer they couldn't refuse, so Chae Sua should be here any minute."
"An offer they couldn't refuse, huh? What'd you say?"
Sounds cool. Gotta remember that for later.
"Told her if she didn't drag her ass here quick, I'd march into the park lawn and trample the fresh green grass to bits. She begged me not to touch the grass and said she'd bring her right away."
"That's some brutal blackmail for a loser. Kinda worried you're being too cruel for a loser's threat..."
Poor park caretaker grandpa with the aching joints, tending this baby-fresh green grass. Not only stomping it flat but kicking it around? When the park reopens to the public, kids and doggos out for walks would see the muddy footprints ruining the pretty lawn and bawl their eyes out. And fixing it? Government'd have to dispatch pros and blow taxpayer money on restoration. Double whammy: wreck the park and drain the budget. A scheme that'd make Zhuge Liang of ancient Atlantis weep. That's what I call a worthy plan from this Tyranno-sama's loser subordinate.
"Tsk tsk tsk. Loser Chae Sua better hustle when this Tyranno-sama calls. What the hell's she doing?"
Stomach's rumbling right on cue, so I pluck a salvia flower from the flowerbed and suck the nectar. Tasty stuff.
"That's bad for you. Flowers soaked in exhaust and fine dust—why eat that?"
"Hmph! I know you're just trying to steal it!♥ Not sharing a single sip—I'm eating it all!♥"
Worried Lion might snag it, I grab ten flowers at once and cram 'em in, slurping away.
"Slurp slurp... Hope that friendless, total nerd NEET loser Chae Sua isn't late 'cause she's playing games on a holiday morning like some shut-in. Heh, that'd be the worst!♥ Gaming on a holiday morning!♥ Total asocial nerd magical girl!♥ Breeding reject confirmed!♥"
Holidays are for acting cool and social, duh?
"Didn't you just come from gaming with Doctor?"
"I'm different! Don't compare this Tyranno-sama to loser Doctor or loser magical girls!♥ Ugh. Where the hell is this loser magical girl already?!"
Ran out of salvia. Anything else to eat? That red rose over there—it's a flower too, right? Bet if I avoid the thorns and suck, nectar comes out.
I'm pondering that when I spot Lion's tiger ears perking up on her head.
"Loser cat ears twitching like crazy. Itchy or something?"
I toss out a random question, but Lion ignores me, staring off into the distance across the park.
"Three... four... five... six? Or five? Figures they'd sneak in like rats after playing it quiet around the perimeter."
"What's up? Rats? Rats here?"
Rats mean run. Cats can't beat rats. I've seen videos of blue cats getting bullied daily by brown rats—now I'm worried for Lion.
"Tyranno. Magical girls sneaking in from north-northwest. About five of 'em. Looks like they wanna take a shot before Chae Sua gets here."
"Heh. Poor losers. Not even Chae Sua. What could five loser magical girls possibly do?"
Pfft hehe♥ Losers are losers inside out.
But can't just ignore 'em. The hypnosis video of Chae Sua only works if it's our secret. If another magical girl sneaks in, films it, breaks the hypnosis, or interferes, we're screwed.
"Too annoying to deal with such pathetic losers myself. Loser cat, go sweep 'em all out!"
I raise my fork spear high like a general drawing his sword at a send-off ceremony. Loser cat hesitates, unhappy for some reason.
"You sure? Chae Sua could show any time, or another squad might hit us. Better to wait and intercept, or we both go?"
Uh... yeah? Kinda makes sense. But canceling an order looks lame, and getting called out by loser cat hurts my pride. Gotta stick to it.
"Pfft! What's this, loser cat worrying about me? Losers just do what I say!♥ This genius Tyranno-sama's plan—nothing can go wrong!♥ Loser magical girls aren't even a speedbump!♥"
"Fine, whatever. You got the whip back, so no way you'd lose to them. I'll go squash 'em quick. But if anything happens, yell my name loud."
"Hmph!♥ Don't worry about me—just hurry and crush those magical girls!♥ All talk!♥"
"Sigh. Wanna smack you one good."
Loser cat heads off to deliver killer knuckle-flicks to the loser magical girls.
"Hmm. Guess I'll finish snacking then."
Sending Lion off wasn't random. Sure, the reasons I thought of earlier are valid, but there's a huge one. Way bigger.
Found untouched salvia in another flowerbed! Had to beat loser cat to it.
"Hehehe. Nectar time."
Mint soda addiction maybe? Craving sticky-sweet stuff bad. Heading to the blooming salvia bed, plucking flower by flower, when I sense someone behind me and turn.
"Hey Tyranno! What the hell! Outta everyone, why pick me to call out?!"
Target of this op, Chae Sua, struts in. Her long golden hair sways, tanned skin boldly on display—every time I see her confident strut, I think of that Gold Sun from hentai.
'Too bad, but today's different. Not Beach Gold Sun Hunting NTR Brainless Rape—just pure hypnosis!'
Lion did say call her if trouble on her way to catch magical girls. But Chae Sua showing is on plan, no real trouble, and handling loser magical girl Chae Sua solo is fine. Asking loser cat for help? Ultimate shame for this Tyranno-sama!♥ Plan's simple: Hypnotize Chae Sua with the app, film embarrassing vid, done. Lion took the recording phone, but app phone's got a camera.
Chae Sua stops in front of me, radiating "I'm in a bad mood" vibes.
"I just got totally rekt in a game flame war. I'm pissed, so fuck off. What the hell did that 'OurSonIsTheBest' bitch do to get so good at flaming?"
Heh♥ She was gaming!♥
"Pfft! Half-expected it, but gaming on a holiday morning?♥ Total evolutionary dead-end bitch!♥ Get out more like normal people, loser!♥"
"What?"
Chae Sua's face crumples. Aah, can't wait♥ That arrogant loser face crumbling under hypnosis power!♥ Hentai said apps work best if you thrust 'em confidently.
"Hey, Chae Sua."
"Hey? Hey? You little shit, you wanna get hit..."
"From now on, absolute obedience to my words! You're my slave! Take this—Hypnosis App!"
I shove the hypnosis app right in Chae Sua's face. Spinning like a barber pole!
With this app's power, Chae Sua's nothing to fear!
"Wha... wha...? Hypnosis... app...?"
Chae Sua's face goes blank and dumb. It was always dumb, but now it's extra loser-dumb.
"Hypno... tized...? Hello? Hello?"
I wave my hand in her face.
"Face went full retard empty-head, but her default's already retard empty-head loser, so hard to tell if it worked."
"......."
Hmm... looks mad, fists clenched like she's about to knuckle-flick, but probably nothing.
"Nah. Just in case. Loser might be faking it smartly."
"....!"
Did Chae Sua just flinch?
"Tch... then. Here's how to check if you're really hypnotized. If loser Chae Sua isn't, she couldn't stay still hearing this."
I whisper prime mesugaki taunt in her ear.
"What'll you do, TV?♥ Eat shit, TV?♥"
"....!!!!"
Chae Sua's body shakes, fists tremble. Not enough to confirm—faking or not? Gotta go harder.
"What'll you do, 7-Star Bizfork Kimchi Plus Fridge 34 MESUGAKI-CUTE1456GL3 No-Interest 3-Year Contract?♥ Eat shit, Ceramic Stainless Air Fryer MESUGAKI-KKUL-BAM-CHAM-GYO-UUK-10-BL21L Mega-Capacity White&Black Pick Your Color Bonus Matte Frying Pan?♥"
"..........."
"What'll you do, you bitch?♥ Eat shit, you bitch?♥ Total brain-dead TV!♥ No one's asking! No one's curious!♥ Cuckoo ping-pong!♥ Mad now, huh?♥ Wanna squeeze me, right?♥ Wanna hit me, right?♥ But can't, huh?♥ Don't even know where I live, huh?♥ Can't catch me!♥ Pissed, huh?♥ Furious, huh?♥"
"....................."
"Know nothing!♥ Do nothing!♥ Just rage!♥ Yeah yeah, got it, bitch!♥ No one's asking, no one's curious!♥ Who's asking?♥ Who's asking?♥ Yeah, what'll you do, TV?♥ What'll you do, TV?♥ What-what eat-shit eat-shit!♥ Total no-fun TV, total brain-dead TV, kekeku ping-pong bang!♥ What'll you do, loser?♥ Eat shit, loser?♥ Loser TV~♥"
"................................"
Hmm... Chae Sua's eyes bloodshot... lips bit tight... fists quivering like knuckle-flick ready... glaring murderously? Nah, imagination!
This Tyranno-sama can't fail!
"Puhahaha! Loser head to toe, as expected—fell for the hypnosis app!♥ Dumber the head, easier the trance!♥ That loser walnut brain couldn't resist the app!♥ Duh, with that loser's IP!♥"
Now, time to film Chae Sua's shame vid with this app phone.
"What vid to shoot?♥ What vid?♥ Chae Sua naked doge-loser view apology vid?♥ Or great mesugaki Tyranno-sama's feet-licking pervert dog vid?♥ Or naked pony ride around the park with me on back?♥"
So fun!♥ Poke poke poke!♥ This happy dilemma stuff!♥ Might as well do 'em all!♥
"Alright!♥ Switch this phone to video mode...♥"
Turn off app, switch to camera!♥
"Record loser human Chae Sua's final human-dropout bitch-dropout loser life-end sow declaration......"
Uh... body... won't... move... Tried to hit camera... looked at screen... spinning... head... dizzyyy... hehe... huuuh... wha... happened...?
"Eh...? Hweh? Heh?"
Head... blankkk... Hypnosis... gotta... snap out... luckilyyy... shallow... hypnooo...
"Hypnooo... breakkkk... breaaak iiiittt..."
Ugh... oh hoooot... fading... bit... by... bit...
"Ha. Fuckin' hot as shit. And that was 'OurSonIsTheBest' bitch, right?"
Chae Sua... phone... mineee... Hypnosis... almost... gone... gotta... snatch... phone...
"You're dead today."
Noooo♥ Hypnosis app♥ Don't show meeee♥ Head goin' weirddd♥ Barely... hypnooo... broke... and nowwww♥
"Tyranno. Become my slave with absolute obedience to my words."
Eeeeeek! Slave noooo! Don't wannaaa♥ Slave noooo♥ My head againnn♥ Can't resisttt♥ No no resist pleeease♥ No... slave... save meee... hypnooo... breakkk... head blankkk... can't... thiiiink... head goin' blaaaank... oh hoooot... "♥"