Chapter 18
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: I Won't Play Childhood Friends with You Anymore
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Sitting in the rocking chair, gazing endlessly at the yard beyond the floor-to-ceiling window.
Ring-.
The phone buzzed.
I slowly turned my head to look at the phone, and a smile spread across my lips.
This time, it really was you.
-Huh? It's Yumin?
Your childhood friend's endlessly bright laughter.
The moment I heard that voice full of laughter, all the agonizing I'd done for hours felt pointless, and a hollow chuckle escaped me on its own.
I let out a long breath and sat in the chair on the rooftop, gazing at Seoul's nightscape.
"...Yeah, it's me. This bratty one."
I started to continue but hesitated for no reason.
I bit my lower lip slightly and opened my mouth again.
"Why are you doing the live for so long?"
-Huh? You watched my live?
Ah. Not what I meant.
My head went blank again at the implication that I'd watched it unintentionally, but I tried to sound as casual as possible.
"Not the whole thing, just the last 20 minutes or so. Had a hell of a time making an account."
-Hey. Even if you got caught watching mine, what kind of lie is that? How do you fumble making an account at twenty-three?
"......"
-What? You're saying it's real, not a joke?
Your incredulous giggle.
It was just laughter, but strangely, listening to it made the awkwardness fade bit by bit.
Yeah. Honestly, it didn't make sense that it took dozens of minutes to make an account.
"So? Why'd you call?"
Nice, that sounded natural.
I inwardly cheered myself for nailing my usual tone.
Or rather, should I say I infused just the right amount of nonchalance to draw out your reaction? Either way, it was a perfect line to test the lock on Yumin's heart.
Thump thump.
I tried to calm my racing heart and waited for your reply.
-Good. Hearing your voice makes me feel better.
That girl, utterly clueless about her own heart, the perpetual single.
Your answer was disappointingly underwhelming.
My brows furrowed on their own.
-You're not that kind of guy.
"What do you mean...?"
-You're the business type who never calls for small talk, only when there's something important.
"...What’s that supposed to."
Ha, a bitter chuckle escaped at your absurd bratty phrasing.
It's true I find pointless chit-chat a waste and rarely call or text unless there's a reason, but...
"I do call without reason sometimes? How am I supposed to call often when Han Chaewon, the celebrity, barely has time in her day?"
I wasn't even that aggrieved; I had my own valid excuse.
"I admit I don't contact you much sometimes......"
-Then stop making excuses. You know arguing more just makes you sound like a total loser, right?
Your baseless sophistry shut me up completely.
I racked my brain for a retort but found none, ending in a hollow laugh.
"......Hah. What do you want from me?"
-I'm free until October, so call anytime. I don't have many friends and get bored.
"...Yeah. You're the best."
I shook my head in exhaustion.
You don't argue with idiots in the first place.
"So. Why'd you call?"
Even terser than I'd intended.
The moment I said it, regret washed over me that it was too much, but I couldn't take back words already spoken.
-Just. We haven't talked in a while, right?
Thankfully, you didn't seem to mind.
-Just. That's why I called. No real reason.
No.
You couldn't afford to mind.
Your head was too full right now figuring out what to say to smoothly navigate this situation.
Dude, after all these years as friends, you think I wouldn't notice?
Your clumsy acting every time like this was just endearing.
"Oh? You really called just for that...?"
-Have I been living under a rock? Why are you being so stingy with me?
"You made an Instagram account you never bothered with before, and the first thing you did was watch my live?
-......
"And you're still gonna play it off as just calling?"
'This is awkward.'
In my rush to decide I had to call right away, I hadn't prepared any excuses.
...No, you always get sharp only at times like this?
Normally I'd bull my way through with nonsense, but tonight, maybe because I was tired, my brain couldn't come up with anything.
As I debated just blurting out whatever instinct gave me,
-You called because you were worried about me.
A direct hit.
My heart sank.
"You turned on the live the day the vlog went up, thinking maybe I'd gotten hurt by hate comments, so you called. Right?"
I stood and headed to the kitchen.
I pulled out the milk-specific kettle from the shelf, poured in milk, and added cocoa powder to a mug.
You said nothing through all of it.
No, you couldn't.
But what can you do.
I'm the fool who likes a fool like you.
"You always clam up when you're overthinking. What, you think the whole world's time stops while you're doing it?"
Pour-.
I slowly poured the warmed milk into the mug.
Stirring with a spoon mixed the fragrant milk and sweet cocoa scents, instantly lifting my mood.
I took a light sip.
Then asked you, still silent.
"You haven't watched the vlog, have you?"
"......Hah. Are you checking my YouTube?"
I'd lost count of how many hollow laughs this made.
I couldn't stay silent anymore and gave a quiet reply with a deep sigh.
"...Sounds like an excuse, but I meant to."
-You probably just checked reactions. Skipped the vlog itself.
"......"
-Why? Hit the nail on the head again, no comeback?
A faint sound of drinking followed your soft laugh.
At this hour, this weather—probably cocoa.
...Anyway, I really had nothing to say.
"...I'll watch it later."
-After the call?
"...Gonna crash right after."
-Tomorrow at lunch then?
"...I said I'll watch it."
Not a kid anymore, I muttered softly so you wouldn't hear over the phone.
Your nagging tone felt petty and cute, drawing an unwitting laugh from me.
-We're still friends, right?
Until I heard that.
"No matter what happens, we're friends, right?"
I asked ambiguously on purpose.
Better to hear it like this than not at all.
"......Out of nowhere, what."
My heart dropped.
I'd vaguely felt it yesterday, but I hadn't expected it to come this soon.
...I'd thought my answer back then was enough.
I felt I had to say something, so I mumbled something meaningless.
"Because of the vlog? Worried I'd get hurt by it?"
I knew it wasn't, but steered the conversation anyway.
-Yeah. Worried you'd get hurt. That's why I asked.
Thankfully, you took the bait right away—
-Am I too fast, or are you too slow?
Your usual voice.
If anything, softer and kinder.
-Minah. We're total opposites, aren't we?
You let out a soft laugh.
"I've got tons of blessings, but my first one is definitely you."
-......
"No. My first blessing is you, Yumin."
I laid out all the words I wanted to say, pressing in only those that might reach you.
This time, I'm stone-cold sober.
You've got no escape.
But that doesn't mean I want to corner you.
"Maybe not for you. You probably see me as a nuisance, some immature kid you have to look after. That's fine. Think what you want."
We're opposites.
That's why we've lasted fifteen years as childhood friends.
I don't want to throw that time away lightly either.
"Still———."
Until you like someone else.
Until I give up on you.
"Just stay by my side for now."
Give me the chance to be by yours.
Thinking back, yeah, it was like that.
Why was I so lenient with Han Chaewon when I'd draw hard lines with anyone else?
Keep denying you're dating while acting like this?
I don't remember that person's face or name anymore.
Just that it was middle school graduation.
A peer who'd liked me all three years confessed.
You never even looked my way, she said, wiping tears and lashing out.
Well. I never thought deeply about it then.
You get numb to what's familiar, right?
Chaewon was that for me.
No matter what she did, I never got mad or annoyed, just———.
Just being with you felt comfortable and good.
Looking back now, it wasn't comfortable so it was good.
It was good, so comfortable.
Good. Just good.
That's why nothing you did made me angry or irritated...
And why, even after 'that day at nineteen,' we could still be friends.
"...Dummy, forgot? I said I'm always on your side."
I swallowed the husky emotion in my breath and answered calmly.
......Who’s fast, who’s slow?
Chaewon, that premise is wrong from the start.
Because.
"We're childhood friends, dummy."
I was too fast, and you were too late.
"Then meet up with me."
"......What?"
-Let's meet, us.
"———Huh?"
-Ah, does that sound misleading?
Another faint sound of drinking.
Then the clink of a cup on the table, and you spoke in a playful tone.
-You wouldn't know since you didn't watch, but the vlog did way better than expected. While we're talking, it hit #1 on Ingye-dong. Already at 4 million views.
"...Huh?"
-Sorry. I made you a superstar.
Your embarrassed laugh.
Only then did I grasp what you said.
"W-Wait? It's already at 4 million?"
-Yeah. Was at 2 million before the live, then bam, shot up midway.
That video at 4 million already.
The staggering number left me speechless, drawing endless hollow laughs.
"...What the hell did you even say."
-I swear I didn't spill. Told them not to say weird stuff since you're a regular guy, didn't mention the vlog at all?
"4 million. 4 million...?"
-From what I see, it'll climb into the tens of millions down the line? ...Hello? You there?
It didn't sink in.
Setting aside good or bad, the scale had grown too huge for me, who'd only seen trees, to grasp the forest's width.
So I just blinked silently.
-I'll take it down now.
Unaware of my state, you asked worriedly.
-Talked to the company to do their best so nothing happens to you, but taking it down is safest.
"...Huh?"
-I'll set it private for now, Yumin. I'll call you later———.
"W-Wait. No need to go that far."
-...You sure?
"Sorry. Got stunned and spaced out. Hard to believe a regular guy’s the star of 10 million views."
I forced a bitter smile and hurried to reply.
"I'm fine. A few recognized me today, but no big deal. No need to overdo it."
-Really okay?
"The meet-up thing. Because of this vlog, right?"
-...Well, I kinda pushed half-forcibly, so trying to cover your worries with a company meeting.
The scale hit me once I heard.
Shocked by 4 million, but still, no need to go that far for a one-off vlog.
"It's a one-time vlog. Worth mobilizing that much?"
-Hey. You didn't see. Requests to reshoot with you are insane right now.
"...That many?"
-Check comments later. Say you're handsome, cool, great manners.... Ha. Anyway, you've got live girl fans now, dude.
People liking me off one vlog.
How to take that? Stunned again, I spaced out.
"So. You in, or out?"
Your abrupt question.
I tilted my head at the vague ask.
"...In on what?"
-Quit dragging. In or out?
What vague nonsense.
Normal me would've snapped for specifics, but...
"I'm in. Can't hurt, right?"
Me, who aced Korean with 100 despite a crap exam day.
Context was the company meeting, so I agreed for now.
"Whaaat?! You'll meet me?!"
I straight-up indulged my bias.
"......What?"
-Yeah, good call. The Yumin I know would never leave Han Chaewon alone———.
"This is me meeting you personally...?"
-Isn't that obvious?
"Dude, that's not the same thing...!"
-So what. Problem?
"Th-That’s———."
-Doesn't matter if it's different, for us.
I was speechless.
As you said, no issue with me meeting you personally.
Overreaction on my part.
-I'm done playing childhood friends with you.
Retribution for my denial.
-So you stop the childhood friend act too.
You were far more mature than that day.
-If you really care about us.
Unlike me, frozen.
-......Sorry. I still can't do that, Chaewon.