Chapter 17

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 17

Chapter Title: Just Like Until Now, From Now On As Well

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Just like until now, from now on too.

Jumping into the entertainment world had brought me so much, but at the same time, I'd lost just as much.

Gained and lost.

Calling it equivalent exchange didn't always feel right—the scales sometimes tipped unevenly—but being only human, I wavered every step of the way.

I don't want to think of everything I gave up for today as mere losses.

Conversely, I refuse to take for granted everything I've gained on this path up to now.

Ultimately, this is my true heart.

I won't regret a thing.

Even if they point fingers calling me greedy, mock me to face reality, or scheme to tear me down no matter what—even then, I'll press on without a single regret.

Even if that road is a bed of thorns for someone else.

As long as something awaits at the end that I won't regret, I'll gladly smile through the blood I shed.

What I crave at the end of that struggle is one thing alone.

"Hello. Good evening, everyone~."

I have to make you mine.

And earn acceptance for us from everyone who loves me.

That's the six years I've lived so far.

"France talk ends here. Gotta save some stories for when I reunite with the members later."

I winked and set the wrapper from my half-eaten burger just outside the frame.

Cracking open the window in the back let in the crisp late-spring night air that hadn't quite faded away.

"So, shall we talk about the vlog?"

I'd said we'd talk about it, but that didn't mean the share of fans who hadn't seen it would shrink.

If anything, leaving the stream on so long had drawn in about five thousand more viewers than at the start.

Normally, I'd rattle off hiatus TMI for the Forever who hadn't caught up, but today? I had a clear goal.

"Even the behind-the-scenes stuff probably won't take ten minutes. Just gonna skim lightly over what happened in Japan."

"How long in Japan..., well, basically the one night, two days while filming the vlog... ."

My lower lip naturally pouted.

The original itinerary was three days, two nights.

But in that atmosphere, how could I have stuck around an extra day, rubbing elbows like that?

Unless someone's paying top dollar, no actor or idol could pull that off.

I couldn't say it.

Not just Yumin's privacy at stake—for the group's reputation alone, I could never admit we'd cut the trip short after my failed confession.

Luckily, the Forever were so fixated on the vlog they chalked up my awkward chuckle to embarrassment.

"Didn't run into May while in Japan? Yeah, like I said earlier, the members were in France, then we all went our separate ways..."

I quickly smoothed my expression and pivoted the topic.

(For the record, no chats like that popped up.)

"Anyway, back on track..., um. As you all know, this trip was with my childhood friend Yumin. First time seeing each other in three years."

"Yep, that's right. That childhood friend I talked about on selfcam. Had a blast with the one all the rumors were about. Forever, I do have friends, you know?"

"Where'd that fictional friend believer go? I wanna praise you for the laughs.... Come out while I'm still being nice...?"

Chats from Forever who hadn't seen the vlog yet exploded.

Every time I'd brought up Yumin before, my 'friendless Han Chaewon' character stuck—some pure Forever genuinely thought I'd made him up.

Of course, I knew plenty denied him just because they couldn't accept a platonic male childhood friend existing...

"So, Forever. Those who've watched it, spill. How was the vlog this time? Give your impressions for the Forever who haven't."

Still, I'd taken that step forward without looking back.

The road ahead was long enough as it was.

I quickly scanned the glowing reviews.

From peeking at YouTube, I'd already been pretty sure we'd get reactions like this.

Sure enough, the chat scrolling with vlog reactions brimmed with positivity—nationality no barrier.

Wearing a triumphant grin, I rested a hand on my hip.

"See? It's this fun—you're not planning to skip it, right? You have to watch."

"And my one-liner review: our back-and-forth with Yumin? Absolute fire. Legendary level."

Yumin mentions were starting to trickle in.

Even packed with diehards like this, I hadn't expected this level of positivity...

"...What is this? Not a Han Chaewon love fest, but a Kang Yumin fan meetup?"

It touched me. I was truly grateful.

Here I was, loved by such wonderful people.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Riding the momentum, I rolled out the prepared lines about Yumin one by one.

"Truth is, that vlog almost never saw the light of day."

"Sure, we feel that inner closeness with Yumin, but he's a total civilian, right? And his childhood friend's Han Chaewon. How overwhelming is that."

"But I begged him anyway. Just once, please do it with me. Looking back, I was so whiny."

A goofy laugh slipped out.

That day's warmth, sunlight, breeze, vibe.

Maybe from replaying the moments so many times through the vlog—even unfilmed bits, every detail of you from then flooded back.

Back then, I was a girl who didn't suit you at all.

No—a kid.

"Yumin made a huge call thinking of me and our Forever before agreeing to film, okay? So after watching, only good words for Yumin, got it? Even if you haven't watched, say something nice."

Cheeks cupped in my hands, I hit them ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with full aegyo and a sly plea.

From the early video reactions, I was nearly certain.

Our vlog's views were about to skyrocket three or four times over.

More eyes meant more comments piling up, interest spreading, secondary shares via articles and media.

No one would mess with a civilian.

Industry code—they wouldn't cross that line, no matter what...

But influencers were everywhere now.

And on portals, blogs, communities, their daily lives leaked virally like nonstop marketing.

Yumin was a perfect normie, but after six years in this game, I was dead sure.

His looks and charm would spread to the masses soon enough.

Starting with the sharpest reporters and PDs in the biz.

Yumin trusted me enough to film that vlog, so I'd do everything in my power.

"So here's what I wanna say: Yumin saved this vlog. If you loved it, let it make you cherish him even more than me. You get me, Forever?"

"But Yumin's only outgoing around me—he's super introverted otherwise. Even if you run into him later, don't call out; just think 'Wait, is that Yumin?' and stare from afar. He's frailer than he seems."

"...Huh? You already spotted Yumin?"

Shock widened my eyes as I stared at chat.

With his personality, he'd have killed his phone and holed up at home for sure.

Caught off guard by the unexpected, I blanked for a sec...

"Pfft—."

Weirdly, I could picture it perfectly.

Peak Yumin response and exit strategy.

"Got it, Forever? He's really shy, so go easy, yeah?"

"But honestly, even I'd have gone Hype Boy in that spot. How do you not."

I hummed the tune with a light smile.

Talking Yumin nonstop? Chats were stacking up with curiosity about him.

"Chaewon unnie, loved the vlog—can you film another with your childhood friend? Hmm... Like I said, I whined my head off just to get this one."

"No no. I know your hearts, Forever, but Yumin's just as precious to me as you are. Yeah. I'll ask, but if we film again, only when he says yes."

"Anyway. Vlog talk without the vlog keeps turning into Yumin talk. One last thing, then vlog topic's done."

I made a cut-it gesture, fixed the camera with a firm look, then held up one finger.

"One: Yumin's a civilian, so zero weird comments. And that goes for me too. Yeah, you—the one typing shady right now. Talking to you. No mercy."

I scowled and jabbed a finger at the camera.

Chats jumped in to back me up.

"Two: Protect Yumin's privacy, no exceptions. I know our Forever will keep promises to me..., you there!"

Forever synced right up with my words.

So cute how they reacted instantly—laughter bubbled out before I knew it.

Lucky me. Such great people actually like me.

"And finally, three!"

The moment had arrived at last.

This was what I'd burned to say since firing up the stream, but now that it was time, my mouth wouldn't cooperate.

The whirlwind and ripple this one line would unleash? Way bigger and fiercer than I'd imagined.

"The 15-year childhood friend who put up with all my whining on this trip, Kang Yumin!"

So I recalled the resolve I'd steeled myself with.

I faced the people who loved me, the road stretching ahead, and everything I'd let slip walking it— one by one.

And then... a strange sensation washed over me.

"Thanks for being my friend. The trip was a blast because of you."

I'd known this path would hurt the whole way, but it didn't scare me.

I knew one slip could cost me everything, but I wasn't afraid.

A smile rose unbidden.

"Let's keep doing well. Just like until now, from now on too. You and me, let's keep it going."

I'll lay myself bare, every bit.

So just promise me this one thing.

"Our Forever, thanks so much for loving me. I only exist because of you real Forever. Alright, wrapping this story here..."

Promise you'll see me—the real, honest me, my raw heart—for what it is.