Chapter 19
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Tell Me Where You've Gone
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Tell me where you've gone up to.
The street where darkness had already fallen.
That playground that had always been our space since we were kids.
It was winter.
December 31st.
Unusually cold, with snow falling more beautifully than ever.
I still remember that day.
I still can't forget that day.
"You'll always be by my side, right?"
To you, who showed such an endlessly unfamiliar smile—what feelings should I have given you?
To you, swaying weakly on the swing—what words should I have said?
To you, whispering so lowly like a candle about to flicker out—what on earth...
"———."
I don't think the choice I made back then was wrong.
I did my absolute best, after all.
From that day on, I truly tried everything to bring us back to being us.
So accepting your feelings now...
"...Sorry. I still can't do it, Chaewon."
Something inside me felt like it was crumbling.
"I'm coming now."
"Let's meet. Right now."
The moment I stepped out of the house, a Cadillac came into view, and a sigh escaped me automatically.
The unbelievable had happened.
"...Han Chaewon."
"Get in."
You rolled down the window and looked my way.
You'd said just one word—"let's meet"—hung up, and arrived at my place in under 40 minutes.
I get why you'd go this far, but...
"...Why the hell did you come here?"
I couldn't sympathize.
"To talk to you."
"Nothing to talk about."
"There has to be."
Your voice was firm.
I tried to fire back just as firmly, but...
"Han Chaewon, I told you there's nothing to say——."
"I like you."
"——."
"...Even now, nothing to say?"
Your voice was soft, but your eyes held no hint of backing down—pure resolve.
I squeezed my eyes shut and bowed my head.
I need to stay strong.
No more letting myself get swept up.
Right now, anyone could see I had the upper hand—.
"...Haa."
Was it habit? Or lingering attachment?
I let out a deep breath.
Three times. Only then did I slowly lift my head, look at you, and murmur softly.
"...I'll just grab some clothes. Wait here."
Even in this moment, why was it so hard to be firm with you?
The car sped down the empty highway.
The only sound was the rush of wind slicing through the early morning air.
Where the hell are we going at this hour?
What could you possibly have to say to go this far?
I had plenty I could say, but we both stayed silent.
You just floored the accelerator on the empty road, while I twisted my body and stared out the window.
But even looking outside, your reflection kept pulling my gaze—Seoul's nightscape never registered.
Not even up to the moment we pulled into some quiet parking lot I didn't recognize.
"We're here."
I peered out to figure where "here" was.
"Uiwang. Baekun Lake."
Reading my intent, you calmly explained as you unbuckled your seatbelt.
Uiwang, Baekun Lake.
I muttered it back.
"Let's get out."
You killed the engine and opened the door.
Now that I was dragged to some unknown spot, the question "why bring me here?" nearly spilled out, but...
"No need for a hat or mask?"
From the moment I said I'd get in the car, I'd braced for this situation—it was a risk I had to accept.
I put on a hat and asked you.
"It's fine. I checked—no one's around at this hour. Just pull up your hood."
You grabbed a thermos you'd brought and stepped fully out.
I had nothing more to say.
It was a lakeside park beautifully designed for strolls—perfect for night views, especially.
But as Chaewon said, from the parking lot to entering the park, not a soul in sight.
So no need to worry about onlookers, but...
"......"
"......"
A subtle standoff.
Ten minutes in, and we were still walking the park without exchanging a word.
...Frustrating.
You came to pick me up, insisted on talking, even dragged me here—all you.
Yet you hadn't said a word, hadn't glanced my way once.
If anything, your quicker steps made it seem like I was chasing you.
Is this the distance—and attitude—of someone who wants to talk?
I stopped walking.
As I slowly parted my lips to say "let's go back,"
"When did you start liking me?"
You spoke first, faster.
Liking? What the hell?
A ripple shook my calm heart.
I could feel the disbelief on my own face.
"...What?"
"I just can't understand. What's wrong with us?"
You stopped and turned to face me, locking eyes endlessly.
No emotion readable on your face as you discussed our "problem."
"Do you really want to just stay friends...?"
Too little emotion—in fact, blatantly obvious.
You were on the verge of exploding.
Your voice trembled.
You swallowed and continued slowly.
"Hey, Kang Yumin. Is that for real?"
"...Fifteen years. Even if you say you like me now, it's not like feelings suddenly——."
"You like me."
"......"
"You like me too, Yumin."
Your voice shook on the first "I like you."
Your expression changed on the second.
Your eyes trembled bit by bit.
Desperately trying to meet my gaze, but your eyes kept dropping downward.
"If you don't like me, fine—I'll give up. But..."
Still, relentlessly. Stubbornly.
You did your utmost to meet my eyes.
"But you like me too."
On the third "like," it hit me.
Ah, you've noticed too.
Your voice shaking, expression crumpling pitifully, unable to meet eyes...
You've figured out how I feel.
"...Why do you think that?"
But even knowing, what can we do now?
"I saw the vlogs."
To me frozen, what were you planning?
"The way you look at me, the way you call my name, how you treat me. I saw it all."
You smiled faintly.
Forcing a smile as your lips quivered.
Obvious to me it was to hold back tears.
Your eyes hadn't blinked for seconds already.
"...Did I ever tell you why I like you?"
"...Han Chaewon."
"You're too kind. Wondering if you'll get taken advantage of someday. ...Ah, maybe that's why you've stuck by me all this time?"
The path lights shifted from red to purple.
You turned and started walking again.
I had no choice but to follow.
"Looking back, I was the problem. You were mature; I was the tomboy."
"......"
"I was the one starting pranks over nothing, getting mad over stupid reasons. But you always took it."
"......"
"I like how kind you are. No one else puts up with me like you."
"That's 'cause you haven't met——."
"Even my mom says that. No one else like you in the world—marry him, she says."
We walked.
Endlessly, but the distance barely shrank.
"Second, you're so thoughtful. Yeah, super caring. I lose stuff, forget things a lot, but whenever you look out for me, magically nothing goes missing or forgotten."
You tried for a brighter voice.
It's okay, stop now.
Nothing changes like this—but I couldn't say it.
"Third, we click so well. Sometimes I think you're crazy when we don't, but we've never hurt each other. No one matches me like you. Maybe you're just accommodating me, who knows..."
Atop the arch bridge wrapped in pure white lights.
You stopped in the center again.
"And you. You're really handsome."
Your face, after so long looking properly, was already streaked with tears.
My breath caught.
I clenched my fists, refusing to approach.
"...Fifteen years. I don't know. If I started liking you from that confession day, or before. Honestly, not sure."
"..."
"But one thing I do know."
You bowed your head.
Your hands gripping the thermos trembled; I saw you steady your breath for composure.
"I'm too late, aren't I, Minah?"
Tears already shed, yet you still forced a smile.
"So many reasons to like you over fifteen years, and here I am confessing too late."
I'm too late——.
Your heartfelt murmur sank emptily into the lake below.
As if it meant nothing.
As if utterly worthless.
Your unanswered words vanished into silence in an instant.
"Maybe I was too early."
I exhaled deeply and lowered my head.
"Believing you'd notice someday. But I couldn't show it—just waited. Even if so, that baseless confidence I'd wait it out."
I unearthed feelings buried deep in my chest.
"Waited on my own, got tired on my own. Realizing I couldn't stay by your side—that time was overwhelming."
I exhaled heavily, loosening my tight throat somehow.
"It got so heavy that even being 'us' became hard. ...Those daily efforts to keep us together were my all."
I hesitated, breathed deep again.
Why?
A strange smile crept onto my face.
"Not blaming you. Not resentment."
"......"
"I still like you. That's why I'm here now. For real."
Sporadically.
Punctuating words, even after finishing so painfully, I mulled the meaning over and over.
Did these words capture my feelings fully?
Did they convey what I wanted?
"...It just was what it was."
I realized I had nothing more to say.
I understood the meaning of this smile.
"Chaewon. We just missed our timing."
Me too, holding back tears——.
"Where are you?"
"——."
"Tell me where you've gone up to."
Warmth spread.
My expression twisted.
Tears fell.
"I'll go. I'll chase after wherever you went somehow..."
You're hugging me.
"I can't be friends anymore, Minah."
Dangerous—.
"...Let go."
"Can't. Why should I?"
"This won't make us work——."
"Letting go won't make us friends either."
You buried your face deeper into my chest.
I pushed hard, but your arms only tightened desperately.
Never letting go, more fiercely than ever.
Your arms trembled from the strain...
"Can't let go. I won't...!"
Desperately.
"...Chaewon."
"No."
"Okay, just let go."
"No...!"
"Letting go doesn't mean I'll run."
"You would."
"...We're in the middle of Uiwang. How would I run? If you keep squeezing, it'll hurt later—."
"That's exactly why."
"——."
"Even now, you're thinking of me."
Your desperate grip slowly eased.
Strength drained from your arms until you finally let go.
You stepped back.
I gazed steadily at you.
You met my eyes.
"...See? Stopping the childhood friend act feels so refreshing."
You smiled softly at me.
"Minah."
"...Yeah."
"Do you want to stay friends with me?"
My throat choked; voice barely came.
I nodded faintly.
"...But you don't want to be friends with me."
I asked lowly.
"Yeah. Don't want to be friends."
You answered with a smile—bright as if you'd never cried.
"...What now? Can't find an answer..."
Your smile made me chuckle unwittingly; embarrassed, I turned to the lake.
A gentle breeze blew.
The lake's night view finally came into focus beside us.
"......"
"......"
We silently took in the scene for a while.
Embarrassed by our recent tears and laughs, neither could find words to smooth it over.
We just sipped the cocoa you offered from time to time, etching this moment into memory once more.
"...Minah."
You broke the brief silence.
"Yeah."
"Remember that fight? Over whether pineapple pizza is good or not?"
I do, but why bring up elementary school now?
"We fought for a whole month over that."
"And you admitted pineapple pizza is good."
"...That admission? You force-fed me till I got used to it."
"Anyway, you eat it fine now. That's what matters, right?"
You shrugged with a light smile.
"Let's make a bet."
The main point arrived so casually.
"...A bet?"
"Dragging this out vaguely, we'll clash over the same thing again. Better to settle it cleanly with a bet, no?"
We used to decide like this often.
Your smile seemed lonely as you said it.
"Half a year. From now."
"......"
"Half a year sounds nice, but world tour prep starts in October—training camp. Honestly busy from September."
"...Basically three months?"
"Call it the Miracle of 100 Days?"
You turned to look at me.
I avoided your eyes, keeping my gaze on the lake.
"If I decide to date you in that time, you win?"
"If you like someone else or stop liking me, you win. ...Not sure 'win' fits, but anyway."
You chuckled, chugging the cocoa.
Lukewarm now, not great, but your face stayed pleased.
"Nineteen. Back then."
Sadness shadowed your face instantly.
"I know why you pushed me away."
"......"
"I get it now—how much it hurts you that I like you. But hearts are selfish; knowing it hurts you, I still can't give up."
Realizing I liked you, and you liked me——even more so.
You bowed slightly, smiling weakly.
Trying to hide the shamelessness, you straightened and stretched pointlessly—but I was right there.
I couldn't miss it.
"Half a year. I'll do my best to make you like me—love on you, make you smile. Just stay by me that long."
"......"
"Bet?"
You tilted your head cutely.
Even if I refused, you'd laugh it off sheepishly.
Honestly, absurd bet.
Deciding fifteen years on a whim? Ridiculous.
But no counter came to mind.
I believed this was our best option too.
"...I'll do it. The bet."
This feels like our last time as 'us.'
Epilogue - Side Story.
Fortune Teller (Gangnam Station Underground Mall), Daytime.
.
.
.
"Is it really just me who's cursed with bad luck?"
This felt so unfair no matter how I thought about it.
"We're on the rocks, and it's really just me? She's fine?"
"Hey. Sounds like you want something bad to happen to me."
"Wouldn't you ask if it were you?"
"...Fair."
Bratty One nodded with an awkward smile.
I tore my eyes from Chaewon and looked back at the fortune teller who'd read the charts.
"Nothing there, even if you stare."
She shrugged as if my frustration changed nothing.
Fortune-telling's for fun anyway—I chuckled, ready to brush it off.
"But. The young lady here will suffer a lot emotionally."
The unexpected words froze me.
"...Emotionally?"
"Yep. She likes our guy here just as much—maybe more. If things go south, she'll hurt way more than he imagines."
"...For real?"
Han Chaewon, the tough one, suffering over a fight with me?
Unimaginable—I whipped around to Chaewon.
"———."
She froze, no reaction in sight.
...Better not poke the bear now.
"S-So, how do we fix it?"
I changed the subject quick.
"How should I know?"
"...Huh?"
"I only see your fates. How you navigate it's up to you."
Interpreting fortunes but bailing on the interpretation?
After listening quietly, I couldn't hold back a hollow laugh.
Eh, days like this happen.
As I reached for tip money to leave,
"But as a life senior, auntie can give advice."
She smiled kindly at us both.
That look pulled me back to my seat unwittingly.
"You two are total opposites. That's why you're soulmates—but sometimes the biggest wedge between you."
"......"
"One thing needed then: Be honest."
"...Be honest?"
Silent Chaewon stammered.
The auntie nodded at her.
"You think they know, but people don't get it till you say. Especially long-time pairs like you. Tell them straight—what you're grateful for, what hurts. Otherwise, they guess based on old images."
She glanced between us.
Seeing our confusion, she beamed like we were cute.
"Might not make sense now. But remember auntie's words."
——A day will come when you need them.
"Enough chit-chat. Seeing such a handsome pair brightens my day—no tip needed. Go have a nice date."
She clapped and stood.
Looked like she wouldn't take money; I was flustered.
"...N-No, can't take free——."
"Tch. Quit yapping and go date."
"But like I said, we're not dating——."
"Young lady's size? Cute stuff left from here. Buy there, got it?"
Straightforward, cutting me off.
She herded us up and to the entrance.
"Love with all your might, you two."
She smiled wide to the end.