Unrequited Love
I pat my still-aching lower back a few times and step off the bus. I’ve come to the Lee Family Estate. She wasn’t answering my texts, so I decided to show up in person. This is the only place where I can get the most information. I’d poked around elsewhere out of frustration, but the results were mediocre at best. Everyone kept repeating the same thing—“an ability that accumulates power”—but when I asked how it accumulated power, they all clammed up like mute idiots who’d swallowed honey. So my only remaining option is the Lee family.
The Lee family stands at the pinnacle of superhuman research. No, they’re the best in the world. It does feel a little suspicious that Lee Arin isn’t checking her messages… but it should be fine. After all, she said she’d help me catch Fenrir. Honestly, I still have a hard time believing her, but after watching her go all-out to separate me from Han Yerin, I sensed a certain level of sincerity.
“Huu…”
I clench my fist and thump my lower back again. Yeah, to be honest, getting fucked is equally shitty no matter who does it, but it’s still better than Han Yerin. Just like Lee Arin said, Han Yerin has already dug herself so deep into the negatives that she’s buried underground, while Lee Arin hasn’t gone that far yet. No, honestly I hate both of them… but one is just so overwhelmingly insane that the other looks relatively tame by comparison. Well, thanks to her I did awaken, and I’m not exactly cold-blooded, so I do feel a certain amount of gratitude. Except for the part where I get fucked. Honestly.
At this point I feel like I’ve reached a stage of resigned acceptance. Inescapable sex. Fatalistic fuckery. With things the way they are, the range of actions I can take has naturally narrowed. If I have to have sex, I’ll squeeze out every last drop of benefit I can get from it. That’s my survival strategy.
Thud. Thud.
I knock on the heavy door knocker. After a moment, the massive gate creaks open.
It’s depressing. That’s really all there is to it. You can’t bring back someone who’s already gone, and even if you could, it wouldn’t mean anything. I regret it over and over again. But she doesn’t come back. Even if I repent for the past, nothing returns. It’s simply a burden I must carry on my own. That’s all.
Knock. Knock.
Someone raps on the door. Before I can tell them not to enter, it swings open.
“Arin, are you alright?”
It’s Father. He’s holding a plate of neatly sliced apples in one hand and smiles awkwardly as he looks at me. Still wrapped in gloom, I nod vaguely.
“You’ve been like this since yesterday. Did something happen? If so, tell your father.”
I shake my head and say I’m fine. Clack. Father sets the plate of apples on my desk.
“By the way, Arin.”
I meet his eyes. His expression is full of concern.
“A friend of yours has come to visit. Won’t you see them?”
A friend?
“Who…?”
“Ah, a friend named Taeho. He just arrived and is currently undergoing inspection. Would you like to meet him?”
…Taeho?
“…Yeah. I will.”
“Then I’ll take my leave first.”
Father slowly closes the door.
…Taeho. The moment I hear that name, for some reason… my heart begins to race.
Inside the reception room.
“Hmm, the ability to stockpile power is definitely there. You said it’s only been a short while since the foreign sensation merged with you, right?”
I nod. Standing before me right now is Enisha—the pinnacle of “supporters” who knows almost everything there is to know about superpowers. A naturalized citizen from America.
“Umm… tracking it is a little tricky. It keeps dodging. But you mentioned feeling something ‘overflowing,’ correct? Normally, physical enhancement types activate the moment you give them ‘power,’ you know? So if it’s just enhancement, you usually only get a vague sense that you’ve gotten stronger rather than any clear ‘feeling’…”
She speaks without pausing for breath. Spit flies everywhere. Enisha places her fingers on my wrist. The unique energy she possesses travels up my arm and prods at the foreign substance inside my chest.
“This case is rather special. Physical enhancement is, after all, only ‘enhancement’ of the body, so the concept of stockpiling something doesn’t usually apply. The sensation feels exactly like a fusion of supporter-type and enhancement-type abilities. Wait a second… I think I’ve seen this somewhere before…”
Enisha rests her chin on her hand, stares at the ceiling, then suddenly claps her hands together.
“Ah! That’s it!”
Enisha meets my eyes, her expression brimming with excitement.
“This is that! I once read in an old thesis about an ability that stockpiles mana through ‘specific actions.’ It can be as simple as ‘exercise,’ or broader things like ‘good deeds’ and ‘evil deeds,’ and there are even strange ones that stockpile mana by eating ‘certain foods’! I think this is one of those! Usually these are only tied to ‘mana,’ so I didn’t realize at first…”
In short, it seems to be a combination of stockpiling and enhancement. No wonder it felt weird.
“There’s a stockpiling ability that affects both strength and energy! Cases like this are really rare! Looking at your pressure points, the efficiency is excellent. The only concern I have is… that the ‘vessel’ is growing far faster than expected. That’s all.”
“Vessel?”
“Yes, that’s the only issue. Normally, when controlling this kind of ‘stockpiling ability,’ you use image training—imagining a vessel and draining the water inside it! But in your case…”
Enisha makes an ambiguous face.
“It doesn’t feel like a ‘vessel.’ It feels more like a ‘dam.’”
What?
“Pardon?”
“The rate at which it fills is fast, but the vessel itself is expanding even faster. Normally the two should be in a balanced tug-of-war for control, but right now it’s completely reckless. It’s bulldozing everything aside and just keeps growing. Hmm… and…”
She looks me in the eye.
“We need to figure out what action causes the ‘stockpiling’… You said you felt it overflowing, right? Do you remember what you were doing at the time?”
What I was doing?
“Umm…”
At that time I was…
…Wait.
“I just need to know what ‘action’ you performed! We’re almost there. Heehee.”
Enisha laughs brightly. In stark contrast, my face grows more and more serious as time passes.
Fuck. The only thing I did back then was have sex.
“Could you tell me? Once I know that, I can give you a solution…”
“No, uh, just a moment.”
My stiff expression refuses to relax.
…No way, right?
I carefully comb through my memories. Every time I was about to ejaculate, the writhing sensation grew stronger, and after I came it went back to normal… Fuck. I get it.
“Haa…”
“Huh? What’s wrong? Can’t you remember? Then I can use an artifact that shows short-term memories—”
What?
“U-uh, no no no!? It’s f-fine, I’m fine!”
I wave my hands frantically. No way in hell! There’s no fucking way I can let the daughter of the family head find out I fucked her.
If the head of the family found out, my body and neck would be separated in an instant. I let out a short sigh.
It looks like… my ability is one that stockpiles power the more I ejaculate.
What the fuck is this.
“No, you don’t have to do that… I understand now.”
“Ah! Then if you just tell me…”
“No no, it’s alright.”
I wave my hands again, stand up from the chair, thank her, and practically bolt out of the room.
“Haa…”
It’s late afternoon. Large and small clouds drift across the sky in flocks. Heat shimmers rise from the stone pavement. Even though it’s the weekend, servants are busily running back and forth along the stone path beside the main hall. I sit down slowly on the wooden veranda and organize my thoughts.
“What the… fuck…”
Yeah. I’m certain. My ability grows stronger—rather, stockpiles power—the more sex I have. Should I be happy about this? One thing is for sure: I must never, ever let either of those two find out about this ability. I felt it yesterday. That was bone-marrow-sucking sex, and if I told her there was a ‘reason’ it was okay to do it? Fuck.
While I’m staring blankly at the clouds, someone plops down beside me. A slight coolness touches my side. I turn my head.
“Hello…”
It’s Lee Arin. What the hell? Am I getting fucked again? My body reacts on reflex. I start to stand up—then stop.
“…”
Looking at her expression… she looks half-dead. Waves of depression, gloom, darkness, and dejection swirl around her. It’s visible.
“Are you okay?”
The words slip out reflexively. At the question, Lee Arin’s body trembles slightly. My mouth is always the problem. Whether it’s my personality or what, whenever I see someone who looks down, I instinctively want to comfort them first. But… wait a second… didn’t Lee Arin say she’d protect my girlfriend?
I sink into thought. Yeah, she did say she’d protect her. Even if I can’t believe it.
“Umm…”
If I can’t believe it… shouldn’t I make it so I can? No, honestly, thinking about the current situation… isn’t Lee Arin the only person who has offered to protect my girlfriend? I don’t know what’s going on, but she looks utterly dejected. If she stays like this… she seems like she’ll collapse. Even a quick glance tells me her mind is at its limit. I really don’t know why she’s like this, but if she breaks down, it’ll be trouble. I know what kind of person Han Yerin is. Just looking at the two missing male students tells me everything. Not knowing when it’ll be my girlfriend’s turn has become my daily anxiety… and recently she even called…
But in that situation, Lee Arin said she would protect my ‘girlfriend’ because she ‘loves’ me. Umm… well… no. At least if that’s the conclusion she reached, it means she has that level of ‘will.’ I need to set up a barrier. Something I can actually trust. And right now, Lee Arin is the only one… Hmm. Fuck.
I widen my eyes. No matter what, Lee Arin must not collapse. Yeah, fuck. Lee Arin isn’t some crazy bitch like Han Yerin who just wants to fuck me. She’s a ‘strategic asset’ who protects my girlfriend from Han Yerin. And that asset is about to collapse? No. Absolutely not. I must defend her. I’ll help Lee Arin. Solely for the sake of my girlfriend.
“What’s wrong?”
I ask in a worried tone. Lee Arin lowers her face and shakes her head, saying it’s nothing. I just need to help her enough so she doesn’t completely fall apart. Just enough to give her a little strength from the side. The fact that she ‘loves’ me right now is a bit concerning… Fuck. Still, it’s better than my girlfriend dying.
“It’s okay. Tell me. I’ll listen.”
Lee Arin shuffles over and slowly leans against me. Fuck…
“Hic, ugh, khh… huu…”
Then she simply cries. Right beside me. Sniffles, hiccups, and teardrops fall onto her thighs. Without saying a word, I simply stroke her head. I tell her it’s okay, that I don’t know what happened but she can cry beside me, that she should cry it all out first and think later. Is… that okay? I just said whatever came to mind. I don’t know if it helped. Honestly, if I hadn’t said anything she probably would have collapsed.
After stroking her hair like that for a while, Lee Arin slowly pulls away. Then—
“Th-thank… you…”
She bows her head slightly in gratitude. She looks somewhat calmer now. Feeling relieved, I stand up. Time to go home and… masturbate. I don’t know yet whether this ability is limited to ‘sex’ or if ‘masturbation’ also counts. I’m planning to test it.
The moment I stand, Lee Arin grabs my wrist.
Ah.
“Just a little longer…”
“Can you… stay by my side…?”
She looks up at me with tearful eyes. Fuck. I nod and sit back down. I thought this much would be enough, but apparently not.
“Just… hic… stay by my side…”
I nod again. While quietly watching the drifting clouds… I hear the sound of crying beside me. Lee Arin is no ordinary crazy bitch either… This is the first time I’ve seen her cry this much. Did she stub her toe on a corner? No, that can’t be it. At her level, the corner would be the one getting crushed. Maybe she broke her computer while working out? No, that’s impossible. I saw her dust-covered exercise equipment; she’s definitely not the type who works out. Fuck. That computer is still haunting my mind. Honestly, I almost cried back then. She wasn’t supposed to be doing dumbbell juggling…
While I’m thinking and letting my gaze wander across the stone path, stone walls, cicada cries, sparrow chirps, clouds, sun, pond, pine trees, and bonsai—
Lee Arin opens her mouth.
“Thank you… hic…”
She slowly rises from her seat. Her shorts are a mess from the tear stains. She takes my wrist and gently pulls me up.
“I didn’t really do anything.”
I smile at her. I need to expand my safe zone as much as possible. Only when my girlfriend can sleep peacefully can I be happy. That’s all.
“I… huu… I’ll go now… Taeho, thank you so much…”
Lee Arin’s cheeks flush bright red. Before I can even reply, she hurriedly runs away. A belated silence settles over me. The familiar sound of cicadas fills the sky.
“Huu…”
Time to go home and… masturbate! I slowly cross the stone path and head toward the main gate.
I enter my room and wipe away my tears. Ah, Taeho. The sticky pain that clung to my chest… for some reason, when I’m by Taeho’s side… it melts away like snow. I collapse onto the bed. For just a brief moment, I felt ‘happiness.’ Not with anyone else, but with Taeho by my side, I felt happiness. He didn’t do anything. He simply sat beside me. And comforted me. Quietly. Continuously. Like an idiot, I fall in love again. This time my heart pounds wildly not with pain, but with ‘love.’
“Haa… haa…”
I slowly close my eyes. The ringing that had been fiercely brushing my ears, the headache that had tormented me all day—everything, all of it. It disappears like melting ice. Ah, I really am. Such an idiot. I’m in love with Taeho. Ah, what a fool I am. This kind of love… there’s no way it can come true. Taeho… has a girlfriend.
“Ah.”
Zap. This time my chest flinches with a different kind of pain. Taeho has a girlfriend… that’s right. That’s how it is. His girlfriend in America is holding onto him and won’t let go. There’s no way this love, these feelings, this affection could ever reach him. Once again, tears well up in my eyes. Even though a withering love left and a new love arrived, it already belongs to someone else. It’s already… a love that’s over.
“Ah, aah…”
A love that can never come true. A love that can never reach. A love that only I feel. Unrequited love. Once more, my heart throbs in agony. Because I know it’s impossible, because I know I can’t do anything… No. Wait a second.
…Nothing?
My thoughts twist in a strange direction. Yeah. That’s right. If this is my ‘love.’ If it’s merely an unreachable… ‘unrequited love.’ Then I just have to make it reachable. I just have to make Taeho love me. That’s all. Gradually, the pain subsides. Yeah. That’s it. …That’s what I’ll do. I’ll stitch the broken half of this love back together. I’ll make you love me. I’ll steal Taeho… from his girlfriend. That’s all I have to do.