Desire Awakens (4)
“Don’t protect some other bitch in front of me.”
Vivian warned him.
“You’re my prisoner. As the price for losing the war, you’re serving your sentence as my knight. Don’t you dare stand in the way of what I do.”
“…That’s enough.”
Vivian snorted.
She had no room right now to accept anything Kailo said.
“I’ll take it easy. So let go.”
Thwack!
She shook off Kailo’s hand.
Vivian looked at Lani, who was clutching her cheek in shock.
“Lani Dubos.”
When she called the name, those terrified eyes locked onto Vivian.
Vivian liked that. Stamp fear into her all at once, and something like this would never happen again.
“…I thought you came to this land to become my friend… but you came looking for a mate, did you?”
Lani didn’t know what to do with herself.
“No… I…”
But Vivian had no intention of letting her anger go just because of that.
“If you’re looking for a mate, go latch onto some boy soldier somewhere… How dare you cling to Kailo Allen?”
“V-Vivian…”
With murderous rage, Vivian pressed her.
“You dare… try to whisper love with the son of the man who killed our father and brother?”
Lani couldn’t even properly respond to Vivian’s fury.
In an instant she dropped to her knees and just kept begging.
“I’m sorry…! I’m sorry! Vivian, I must have been crazy…! I… for a moment…!”
Thud.
Kailo, expression hard, grabbed Lani’s arm and pulled her up.
Vivian felt rage rising again, but this time she couldn’t show it.
Kailo Allen’s eyes were telling her something.
That he was truly standing at the very edge of his patience.
Don’t cross that final line.
Vivian waited for Kailo’s response.
After helping Lani Dubos to her feet, he roughly brushed the mud from her knees.
Then he approached Vivian, leaned toward her, and whispered.
“…We didn’t do anything.”
“…You…”
“I pushed her away.”
“…”
At Kailo’s confession, Vivian could feel a huge chunk of her rage melting away in an instant.
She blinked and looked at him.
He continued.
“What you’re worried about… nothing that would make me happy happened. With Serena last time, I already experienced it. Just like you said, I’ve been keeping my distance from happiness. So… stop it now.”
“…”
Vivian glanced at Kailo out of the corner of her eye.
She couldn’t find a single speck of falsehood in his eyes.
Her anger had already largely subsided, but even so, accepting the fact that the two of them had kept meeting—and that she had been enduring it like a fool without knowing—was difficult.
Squeezing out the remaining anger, Vivian spoke to Lani.
“Lani Dubos.”
“…Yes…. Yes….”
“I’ll settle this matter… tomorrow. Whether I’ll consider it a one-time mistake and forgive you, or hand down a fitting punishment… I’ll decide tomorrow.”
“…Hic… Yes…”
“…Get lost. Disappear from my sight.”
At Vivian’s words, Lani fled in an instant.
Kailo’s eyes, watching the departing Lani, held deep pity.
“What are you looking at?”
Vivian had no intention of allowing even that.
Kailo’s black eyes turned to her.
Their bodies were quite close.
Even in this situation where their bodies were oddly exposed to each other, they never pulled away.
Water droplets falling from Kailo’s hair were close enough to land on Vivian’s forehead.
In the cold weather, Kailo’s body was radiating heat like a wood fire.
It was a warmth so inviting that if she let go of her reason even a little, she’d want to nestle into it.
Once Lani left, Vivian felt yet another extreme emotion blooming.
Before she could even collect herself, she placed her hand on Kailo’s chest.
Ssshhk.
“…Vivian.”
It was the spot Lani had touched earlier.
Thinking of Kailo as her own possession, she felt no hesitation.
“Did you like it?”
Vivian asked mockingly.
Slowly trailing her fingertips down, she even touched his rugged abs.
“When Lani Dubos touched you like this… did you like it? Did it even turn you on?”
“…”
She didn’t even know why she was doing this; she just acted on whatever thoughts came.
The sensation at her fingertips was addictive.
After biting her lip for a moment, Vivian looked up at him again and said,
“You act all tough, but seeing you get shaken by something like this, in the end you’re just a mere beast. Just a barbarian.”
Vivian kept sneering. To vent the fire in her chest, she had to at least do this much.
Kailo sighed and said quietly,
“I told you to cut it out.”
“Cut what out? Am I wrong? If I’d left you and Lani alone a little longer, it looked like you were heading for the stables. On my land, you almost did something disgusting.”
Even as she spoke, Vivian got angrier at her own words.
Realizing the possibility of the insult she’d spat out to pressure him, she understood just how dizzyingly close the previous situation had been—like never before.
In that anger, Vivian said,
“…Are you a monkey or something? Turning sixteen and going around poking every woman you see.”
Kailo very slowly raised his head. His eyes never left Vivian, and his teeth were clenched tight.
Even so, Vivian continued.
“It’s dirty. Vulgar… Kailo. Please, I’m begging you… Don’t do that filthy stuff in front of me.”
Vivian chewed her lip, then expressed her feelings.
“…Because I want to kill them all.”
She soon turned and walked away.
Vivian felt the strength drain from her body.
If she let go of the tension, it felt like she’d collapse straight to the ground.
From the moment she turned, the surge she’d been holding back threatened to burst.
She didn’t know why she was like this, but tears seemed about to fall.
She couldn’t tell what had made her this upset and stifled.
Maybe it was unfair that their first meeting in five days was like this, or she felt betrayed that Kailo had been secretly continuing to meet Lani, or it hurt that she’d said terrible things to Kailo—she didn’t know.
Thud!
“Huk!”
But at that moment, something grabbed her as she walked.
“It’s dirty. Vulgar. Kailo, please, I’m begging you… Don’t do that filthy stuff in front of me. Because I want to kill them all.”
At Vivian’s words, something inside me felt like it snapped.
What did I do so wrong?
How hard did I try to push that bitch Lani away, only to hear this crap?
Did it have to be like this with Vivian after five days?
And she keeps treating me like a monster crazed with lust—nothing could be more unfair than that.
I had no mind to just take it like this.
If she sees me as a lust-crazed monster and won’t even listen to my excuses…
…Then I no longer need to hold back either.
I watched Vivian’s retreating back.
The thin nightgown clinging tightly to her whole body.
Her changes stood out prominently.
Once I gave up, an uncontrollable hot emotion surged up.
Having seen Vivian after so long, the emotion grew even more intense.
And having known her for so long, it was an impulse harder to refuse.
As if the instincts I’d suppressed all this time were being liberated, my heart pounded madly.
Against my will, blood was rushing to my lower body.
My ears buzzed with anger and excitement.
I followed the departing Vivian.
Thud!
And without hesitation, I embraced her.
Wrapping her waist with my left arm, and her shoulders with my right hand.
Her body, warmer than I thought, softer than I thought, came into my arms.
“Huk!”
I heard Vivian gasp in surprise.
But so she couldn’t draw another breath, I hugged her with all my strength.
Crumpling her as if, I pushed her into my embrace.
I pressed my pelvis right against her hips.
Being treated as disgusting for no reason was unfair.
Responsibility without pleasure?
If it’s going to be like this, I’ll take my own pleasure.
As angry as I was at her, I acted even more freely.
“Go ahead and kill me.”
I clenched my teeth and whispered in her ear.
“You said you’d kill me if I did this filthy stuff, so kill me.”
Vivian was frozen, unable to say a word.
Her being still was actually good.
From the moment her soft self entered my arms, my patience completely snapped.
I touched her as if to provoke her.
I lightly pinched her stomach.
Slowly, I brought my right hand to her chest.
…I buried my face in the nape of her neck and inhaled her scent.
And then, I lightly bit her neck.
I wanted to bite hard as I was angry. I hoped she’d hurt as much as my dizzy insides.
If she screamed because of me and shed a few tears, I thought I’d feel better.
But of course I couldn’t go that far.
Careful not to wound her, I resisted the urge to bite harder as much as possible.
“Eut…!”
She started struggling in surprise.
Even that resistance stimulated me further.
Wanting to escape me but unable to. The feeling of completely dominating her.
It felt like the sadism I’d hidden was raising its head.
But once my emotions loosened somewhat and satisfaction filled me, I let her go.
She escaped my arms at that moment and pushed me back.
I didn’t resist and was pushed, plopping down onto the ground.
“Haa…! Haa…!”
Vivian was looking back at me with startled eyes.
Clutching the nape of her neck that had just been bitten, she was panting.
I couldn’t find even a fragment of the earlier rage.
Rather, her expression was full of confusion.
Even in this darkness, her face was red like her hair.
That sight strangely made me smile.
“This is sexual desire.”
I said with a smile.
“…Haa…! Haa…!”
“…Got it?”
Unable to even answer, Vivian turned and fled in a hurry.
The sight of her running away, dropping even her strong mask, was funny.
Acting like she’d devour and kill me, then after one hug her face turns as red as a rose and she runs—how could I not laugh.
It was her girlish side that I hadn’t seen in a long time.
Ssshhhhaaa…
I sat still, getting rained on.
The amusement at Vivian’s state was brief.
…Once she left, and my irritation and anger settled a bit… a shallow regret rose up.
Had I given Vivian an indelible wound?
How would I face her from now on?
My worries were no small matter.
“…Haa…”
I covered my face and sighed.
I flopped onto my back and stayed like that for a while, getting rained on.
“Haa…! Haa…!”
Even after entering her room, Vivian couldn’t calm down.
She climbed into bed still wet and wrapped the blanket all the way over her head.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Her heart pounded.
Her breath came short.
This trembling that felt like her heart would leap out of her mouth didn’t stop for a moment.
She couldn’t express at all what this emotion was.
It was confusing.
It was flustering.
And the unknown emotion settled beneath it was shaking her even more.
Sexual desire that she’d only thought of as disgusting and filthy.
Sexual desire that had only felt awkward when she heard about it from Lady Rinne.
That repulsive sexual desire, Kailo had revealed to her.
The son of her enemy, her complete foe Kailo, to no one else but… her.
“…Haa…! Haa…!”
Vivian panted.
Every sensation from that moment vividly rose up and wrapped around her body.
The hand that pinched her stomach.
The two arms that awkwardly held her.
The forearm that lightly touched her chest.
His nose that inhaled her scent.
The hard something that pressed against her hips.
And even the bitten nape of her neck.
“…Eut!”
Vivian stroked her nape and flinched as if in pain.
There was still a mark where Kailo had bitten her.
The subtle pain from the mark raised goosebumps, and a thrill ran through her whole body as if that moment had returned.
This was her first sexual experience.
Being the first, the sensations she couldn’t understand kept dizzying her chest.
Vivian tightly gripped the blanket and trembled all over.
Even under the blanket, she somehow kept feeling cold.
Once Kailo’s warmth disappeared, the gap seemed to be felt even more clearly.
The earlier scene kept replaying in Vivian’s head.
The smell, warmth, feel, atmosphere of that moment.
Nothing faded; it remained vivid, captivating her senses.
The one who distanced Serena and pushed away Lani… the moment he unhesitatingly hugged her as if to crush her and bit her neck.
Thud!
Vivian suddenly clutched her chest.
Something was shaking greatly.
She thought dozens more times that this shouldn’t be.
This feeling was something that couldn’t be understood rationally.
Even though that Kailo she’d only hated had revealed repulsive sexual desire to her…
…A sweet happiness that felt like it would melt her head kept seeping in.