Call Me a Runaway Ninja (3)
Early lunch. Everyone from the party except Jina had gathered at the chicken place where we'd first met on the day of the quest.
Jina was at the guard station giving testimony with her father, so she couldn't make it. I worried a little that they might be putting her through something like torture until she gave the answers they wanted.
I'd originally meant to go along and keep an eye on things, but after hearing the situation, Orphe talked me out of it.
Jina was only an apprentice adventurer, and her father was a farmer by origin. They had neither the connections nor the combat ability to be involved in the slaughter of the Iron Lobster Knights, so Orphe figured no one would mess with them.
I had to admit she had a point. If I were them, I'd go after the guy who left a manifesto calling himself a Runaway Ninja long before I started grilling some nobody commoners.
But unless Earth's scientific investigation unit showed up, catching me was going to be damn near impossible.
I was confident I hadn't left a single scrap of evidence behind.
"Everyone's worked so hard up to now."
Bonita was the last to enter the restaurant, dressed in casual clothes I'd never seen on her before.
With that height of hers, she looked like a supermodel.
What the hell did you have to eat growing up to get that tall?
Hatred for Danto, the monster that killed her family?
No idea.
"Bonita, you worked the hardest of all. I've learned a great deal from you."
Orphe smiled and bowed her head.
Diana, who'd been staring at the chicken sizzling on the grill and swallowing her drool, absently copied Orphe's gesture without really knowing why.
I suddenly felt the urge to give her another human lesson, but Bonita was here, so it would have to wait.
"Truly, thank you all. Without you, I would have been nothing more than a single bite for those monsters. Hahaha!"
That's actually true, so stop laughing, you idiot.
"Here—your adventurer badges have been issued. I'll deliver Jina's to her separately."
Bonita handed out the badges one by one.
Looks like we'd skipped the fifth quest and gotten promoted anyway. Satisfied with the guild's judgment, I held my badge up to the light.
The round copper badge gleaming with a bronze sheen was almost identical in size and shape to an Earth bronze medal.
"Robin… are you truly all right with this?"
Bonita looked full of relief that the mission was over and guilt that she'd lied.
The reason she was acting like this? Because I'd handed her every scrap of credit for my "Maple Leaf Village demolition" job.
In the guild records, I was probably just the clever adventurer who'd come up with the idea of burning the place down.
"It doesn't matter. I have no interest in fame or achievements."
The moment I get tangled up in worldly things, my mission and my convictions vanish.
Evil never disappears, and a Runaway Ninja never rests.
A life of constantly burning your own life force to stand against evil—that is the life of a Runaway Ninja.
The only time I get to rest is after paradise has descended upon this world.
If I had to name something I wanted on a smaller scale… I really wanted Kakashi's ninja blade.
No—honestly, I wanted it so fucking bad.
How bad? Bad enough that I once dreamed Kakashi was spinning the blade while dancing the Padoligi Song, saying, "This? I'll give it to you if you want. Once you become my paaaartner? Heh-heh-heh~!" before riding the damn thing off into the sky.
I was so furious that night I couldn't sleep, so I started Diana's human lesson a little early.
She'd been happy about the special training, at least.
Kakashi… if I ever run into you again, I am not letting you die clean.
"If that's how you feel, Robin… still, I'd like to repay you personally. If there's anything you want, just say the word. If it's within my power, I'll make it happen."
"There's nothing I particularly want. Just look after Jina and her father for me."
"I'll speak firmly to the guild. If the guild puts its weight behind them, the guards won't dare treat Jina or her father poorly."
I was starting to like the guild more and more.
Maybe Bonita was just an especially good salaryman, but I wanted to believe there was at least one organization out there fighting for the common people.
As long as even one group exerted a positive influence, the world could get a little better, bit by bit.
"That's more than enough."
I put on the friendliest smile I could manage.
The corner of Orphe's mouth twitched upward a fraction—looked like even she had fallen for my SSS-rank smile.
"…Robin, you wouldn't be out of place being called a hero."
Hearing something like that to my face was a little embarrassing.
I turned my head and glared at Diana, who was poking at the chicken with a fork.
The pocket yokai made a pouty face and quietly set her chopsticks down.
"Well then, this will be our party's final meal together. Chomp chomp. A shame Miss Jina isn't here, but chomp chomp fate has a way of being stickier than we think, so chomp chomp I'm sure we'll meet again. Chomp chomp."
Satton spouted empty words while being the first to dig into the meat.
Either eat or talk, you idiot—pick one.
How could every single thing this guy did be so irritating?
As the third son of a noble house, he should have been under constant scrutiny and matured early, right?
As expected, there's no such thing as "absolute."
An idiot remains an idiot no matter the circumstances.
Truly, the law of conservation of idiocy.
— Chomp chomp chomp chomp.
With Satton's first bite as the signal, everyone began to enjoy the meal.
Silence fell in an instant.
People go quiet when they eat.
The terror that even a moment's rest means someone will snatch your food—that fear is the driving force that keeps humanity moving.
Once everyone had eaten a reasonable amount, Satton opened his mouth again.
"After the Maple Leaf Village incident, I thought long and hard. It seems I'm simply not cut out to be an adventurer."
The fact that he only just realized that is legendary in itself.
They say if your head is weak, your body suffers…
"Still, I feel I've gained quite a bit of inspiration for my writing. Monsters… I think I understand them now. They are objects of fear, enemies beyond comprehension. There may be rational beings like Miss Lamina and Miss Diana among them, but the majority seem to be creatures driven purely by violent instinct."
That was unexpected. He always acted like he had nothing going on upstairs, yet he'd come up with a pretty decent answer on his own.
At this point it was almost praiseworthy. Still, I had zero desire to give a guy like him a head pat.
"On the other hand, when I thought about the warriors who defeat those monsters and protect the people… my heart swelled with grandeur. From now on, I think I'll write stories about heroes. I want people to know how terrifying monsters truly are, and what it feels like for the warriors who face them skin to skin."
Satton's eyes burned with resolve.
I knew those eyes.
I'd had the exact same look the first time I encountered ninjas.
Someone once said that those who dream are strong.
I hoped Satton would grow strong like me.
"I've been jotting a few lines on parchment whenever I had time. I've even decided on a title: The Bird That Drinks Steel. Not bad, don't you think?"
I had no idea what the story was about, but it was a pretty cool-sounding title.
If it were me, though, I'd have gone with something to grab readers by the throat: There Are So Many Scary Yokai—What Are the Warriors Supposed to Do?!
That's the difference between a genius and a dullard.
"I've even settled on the opening. Listen: Even the madness of the Watchmen who once set the world ablaze has been forgotten, and the graves of the heroes lie buried in the mud…"
"That will do."
Orphe cut him off at just the right moment.
She was basically Satton's personal bully at this point.
"Bonita. Orphe, I, and Pocket Yo—Diana—intend to leave Martolan and fight to protect the people in more dangerous places. Is there anywhere nearby like that?"
"A dangerous place… I've heard that Goldon Barony, near the frontier, is recruiting adventurers, mercenaries, and seasoned warriors. The guild received a request as well, but few people answered it."
"What kind of trouble?"
"A civil war broke out and reduced the number of private soldiers remaining in Goldon. Taking advantage of that, a bandit alliance has apparently set its sights on the territory."
Our next target was set.
Whenever the yakuza start running wild, a ninja always has to show up and clean house.
"Are you planning to go? The fact that the guild's veteran adventurers aren't answering suggests it could be extremely dangerous. You'll be fine, Robin, but Orphe and Diana…"
"I'll be fine. And Diana is no ordinary child—she'll manage."
Orphe's clean, decisive answer was truly admirable.
Her dark circles had lessened considerably; maybe her heart had finally found some measure of peace.
Still, I hoped she wouldn't lose her hatred for the yakuza.
Victims who quietly suffer, forgive themselves, repent, and forget—none of that helps.
In the meantime, the yakuza just squeeze more blood from more people's holes.
Total ninja annihilation is the only prescription.
"It's about time we parted ways. We need to prepare to head for Goldon."
I stood up from my seat at once.
Things like this had to be handled swiftly and cleanly.
I'd warmed up by punishing that bedwetter, but it wasn't enough.
Shin Nobin, the blood-drinking sparrow of the wicked, was still thirsty.
"Hah… now that it's come to this, I find myself feeling a little sad. But as I said earlier, we will meet again. Who knows—by then I might already be writing Robin's story."
"Yes. That would be truly entertaining."
If that book ever actually came out, I was going to burn every single copy I laid eyes on.
We hurried through our farewells and stepped outside.
"Aileen…! Aileen…. Hic… sob…"
A heart-rending wail echoed through the cathedral.
The female knight in crimson armor clutched the bloated corpse even tighter against her chest.
"Sh-she was like a daughter to me. Such a brave and righteous child… why…"
Baron Martolan swallowed hard.
The rage pouring from the knight before him—the Sword of Sorrow—was a raging torrent so fierce he could barely breathe.
"My lord Baron. Tell me! Who did this?! How monstrous must they be to leave this child in such a state?!"
"Th-the identity is still under investigation. The scoundrel did leave a scrap of paper behind, however."
The Sword of Sorrow snatched the paper from Martolan's grasp as if ripping it free.
"Runaway… Ninja…!"
Her green eyes drowned in pure hatred.
"Death…!"
She flung the paper aside and raised her rapier high.
The blade flared with crimson light and began to tremble violently.
Waaaaaaaaaang—shoooooo—eeeeeeei—!
According to rumor, the Sword of Sorrow's blade reaped the souls of those it slew.
That hideous sound, as if thirsting for blood, made Martolan shudder.
A sword-cry like the scream of someone cast into the abyss.
He almost felt a little sorry for the poor bastard who would have to receive hatred this intense.
"Death to the Runaway Ninja!"
As she howled those words—
"Death to the Runaway Ninja!!!"
—every knight under the Sword of Sorrow's command roared in unison.
The stained glass of the cathedral rattled under the force of the shout; Martolan briefly covered his ears.
Something… something is happening.
Looking back, the anomalies might have begun the moment his precious collection of masterpieces vanished.
Calamity never arrives all at once.
It creeps closer little by little, gnawing away at everything around it.
Martolan knew that truth well, and so his unease only deepened.
Please… let there not be too many victims.
That was Baron Martolan's only wish.