Call Me a Runaway Ninja (2)
I immediately used the Ninja Outfit Swap Technique to change into my newly purchased ninja suit and tailed Jina.
If any knights had business with her, it could only be the Iron Lobster Knights from the “Jina Shoulder-Check Snowball Incident.” And those bastards weren’t knights—they were samurai. No telling what they might do.
Ssssss—
I quietly climbed onto the roof of Jina’s house and cloaked myself with Floating Shadow.
Two samurai stood at the door. A rough glance at the faces half-hidden by their helmets confirmed they were members of the Iron Lobster Knights. Honestly, I didn’t remember their faces that well, but it had to be them. They were samurai—I could just kill them and check afterward, right?
“Dad! K-Knights, why are you doing this?”
Jina’s voice came from inside the house.
“Miss Jina, it’s been a while. We’ve been treated very well by your wonderful father. His cooking is excellent.”
That sounded like Aileen-whatever, the one who’d introduced herself as the knight commander.
“I already apologized back then. Wasn’t it over? Why come all the way to our house…?”
“J-Jina! That’s no way to speak! Knights, I’m so sorry. She’s still young and doesn’t understand how the world works. Please, in your generosity, forgive her.”
It had been a while since I’d heard Jina’s father’s voice. It was soaked in terror and dread.
They’d frightened an innocent citizen? That alone was already a death sentence.
“What are you saying? It’s nothing of the sort. We merely spent some time in a commoner’s home to rest and observe the lives of the people. And, while we were at it, to offer a formal, heartfelt apology for that unfortunate incident with Miss Jina.”
“...You don’t need to. It’s already finished. This is just a house where my father and I live. I’m quite shocked you barged in and stayed while I was gone. I think you should leave now.”
Jina was speaking in a quiet, businesslike tone—she must have been furious. I wanted to believe her father hadn’t suffered anything strange during those few days, but the odds of a lonely older woman not laying hands on a handsome middle-aged man were lower than a cat refusing a treat right in front of its face. Still, people said having a child made you weaker, so I preferred to think nothing too terrible had happened.
Just how advanced was contraception technology in this world? Jina’s father’s chastity depended on it.
“I see. So that’s why you served our knight order poisoned food?”
“What?! What on earth are you talking about?!”
Was this how samurai talked?
“Look at this. There’s poison in the food. Girls, disarm them.”
“Jina! No! Knights! You can’t!”
Thud!
I heard the sound of something being poured in a stream, then Jina’s father’s tearful scream, and someone forced to their knees by overwhelming pressure.
“C-Can you really do this? You’re knights…”
“Knights… It’s a hard profession. Honor, loyalty, valor… They force us to uphold those things under the name of chivalry. How many knights do you think actually keep them? Knights are people too. We have rage suppressed by forced order, and sometimes we need to let it out.”
“K-Knight, can’t you just take my life and end it? Our Jina is still so young. Y-Yes, serving poisoned food was my fault, so…”
Even without seeing it, I could feel how desperately Jina’s father was begging.
“Father… is a bit of a waste. Who knew Miss Jina’s father would be such a handsome man? At first I thought he was her older brother.”
“I misspoke. I’m sorry. Knights, I was truly wrong. I’ll do anything you say. Just spare my father’s life and mine. Please.”
My hearing, enhanced by the increased mana, caught even the precise sound of tears dripping one by one.
“Wrong? What did you do wrong? Bumping into Reina’s shoulder? Pfft, funny. You think that’s why this is happening? Your only crime is catching our eye. And why are you so late? We thought you’d run. Still, spending a few days eating free meals at a handsome man’s house wasn’t bad.”
“Uuuu… please…”
“You’re not like those guild adventurers or the third son of a baron. You have no backing at all. No one listens to people like you. No one cares when you die. We’ve done this more than once or twice, so we know. That face you’re making is so entertaining. Should we kill your father first, nice and slow?”
Shiiing.
“In the next life, be born as someone useful. You worthless lowborn trash.”
In the world of samurai there was a custom called tsujigiri—testing a newly bought sword by randomly cutting down commoners. Samurai treated that blood-crazed murder as naturally as ordinary people ate, shit, and slept. What these bastards were doing was no different from tsujigiri.
Killing citizens just to relieve stress after a nap? Madness I couldn’t even imagine. Would an arcade in this fantasy world have helped a little? No—these bitches would still murder like it was their right. Understanding a samurai’s mindset was impossible unless you were the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. Therefore, samurai had to disappear.
BOOM!
“What was that?!”
I stomped through the roof and dropped into the house. No time for strategy or anything fancy—just get in and beat them all to death. If they were the type to swagger around calling themselves knights, they’d rather clump together and fight than scatter and run. Perfect chance to test my new power, too.
Pishung!
First I shattered the single lamp with a throwing knife. The sudden blackout brought panicked shouts from the samurai. The sound of weapons being raised right after told me they at least deserved to be called warriors.
I casually tossed a knife at the nearest one just to keep her in check.
Thwack!
“Guh-gehk?”
Wait—what? The knife punched straight through the helmet and buried itself in her skull. The samurai collapsed, spraying blood like a cheap horror-movie victim.
“W-What the hell…”
Even I hadn’t expected that. A dumb sound slipped out. Was this Delamion’s gift? Had I gotten too strong?
No. Calm down. This wasn’t even that impressive. According to the records, super ninjas used Orbital Bombardment Ninjutsu when they wrecked Nazi super-battleships.
“Ninja Destruction Art.”
I calmly charged the next samurai. A short-haired one still blinking against the dark, raising her shield.
CRUNCH!
“Aagh!”
My fist went through the shield and slammed into her gut. Seriously, what the hell. Delamion’s experience points must have been beyond imagination. Maybe that yokai had surprisingly nutritious pep-talk skills?
Clang!
Puk-puk-puk!
“Ghk…”
I kicked the ruined shield aside and stabbed her head, chest, and stomach with precise knife thrusts. Her plate-armored body caved in like a road with a sinkhole. At this rate I was the Super-Strength King Ninja.
“Over there! Raise shields and push! We have the numbers—just keep them from leaving the house!”
Aileen bellowed commands. The two samurai from outside must have joined; about ten pieces of trash charged in formation.
“Ninja Encirclement Formation.”
Numerical advantage wasn’t yours alone. I created about ten afterimages—
Shashashashashak—
“Huh?”
What the fuck? The afterimages looked like at least twenty. Sudden power-ups always threw a ninja off.
“C-Commander!”
“What in the world…”
“There are more of them infiltrating!”
While the enemies flailed in confusion, I had to get the civilians out first. I found the father and daughter huddled together in a corner, clinging to each other.
“W-Who are y—kyaaah!”
Crash!
No time or reason to explain. I jet-kicked the window out and tossed them both outside. The house was surrounded by grass; they’d land safely. Now all that remained was lightly cooking the samurai.
“Th-These things aren’t human! When you stab them they just vanish!”
“It’s evil sorcery!”
The terrified screams of samurai were always sweet. To calm my brain, drunk on power and excitement, I let out a battle cry.
“Wazabyot!!!”
Trash like this didn’t need strategy anymore. Fuck it—no one could stop me!
I charged the wall of shields.
“Ninja Hectopascal Kick.”
I drove a kick home without losing speed.
KWAANG!
“Uwaaaaagh!”
“Gyaaak~!”
“Huhat?!”
Shields and samurai exploded outward. The fact that people broke as easily as soft tofu was, in a way, a desecration of life. But for samurai who had already violated the dignity of life, it was fitting punishment.
“H-Hyaaaaaaah!”
I chased the knights stumbling backward in terror and unleashed a merciless beating. Whoa—when I punched a head, the helmet and skull went flying together. The samurai had turned into squeaking rats instead of Poppy. Rats spread disease, so exterminating them was only natural. No guilt required; I mashed them into a complete mess.
Shuk-shuk-shuk-shuk!
“Nin?”
“You crazy bastard! You lunatic!”
Aileen’s poker face shattered under fear and rage; her rapier shot toward me.
Shuk-shuk-shuk-shuk-shuk!
She flicked her hand from right to left, then looked like she was going left again before cutting straight across. Aileen mixed deceptive attacks into the same repeating pattern. Red light flared from the blade with every swing—some kind of magic sword. It looked threatening enough, but it felt ridiculously slow; I could see every single motion. The movements were so kindly instructional, like a personal trainer teaching a beginner, that I got annoyed and flicked her forehead.
Who the hell was acting relaxed right now?
“Too slow.”
Thwack!
“Oaaagh!”
Aileen staggered and dropped to her knees, a fist-sized lump rising on her forehead. The fact that she still didn’t drop the rapier was very samurai of her.
Drip-drip-drip.
Some unidentified liquid leaked out and soaked the lower half of her armor.
“This bitch? She’s pissing herself! The knight commander is wetting herself like a little kid!”
The last two samurai dropped their weapons and tried to flee wailing, so I threw knives and sent them to hell together, nice and friendly.
“Uhhh… what the…”
I strode toward Aileen with the biggest steps I could manage, just to intimidate her. Anyone who made the common people shed tears of blood had to be repaid with even greater pain.
“Stand up straight.”
“...”
“I said stand.”
I couldn’t forgive a villain who was hard of hearing, so I snatched her helmet, flung it away, and flicked her forehead again. Aileen collapsed on the spot.
“Uwaaa—!”
“Be quiet!”
She was too loud, so instead of a sedative I drove a straight punch into her gut.
“Uuep…!”
The fact that her body still hadn’t shattered meant she was pretty tough. Orphe had told me knights underwent murderous training from childhood. Seeing how the other samurai had exploded in one hit, Aileen was probably quite strong. If she hadn’t turned into a samurai she might have grown into a 1.0 Delamion. But she had abandoned being human and fallen. For a fallen warrior, only death remained.
“Last warning. Stand up straight, Aileen.”
Aileen forced her soaked lower body upright. Her rapier trembled violently.
“Come here.”
The two big lumps on her forehead looked exactly like yokai horns. A visual that symbolically proved the cooperative relationship between samurai and yokai.
“Come at me again. If you run or kill yourself, I’ll kill you.”
“I-I’m a disciple of the Soft Sword King. If you kill me—”
“What the hell is that, you otaku?”
I’d heard the name somewhere—one of the Seven Sword Kings? Didn’t matter. She was dead either way.
“Make me say it one more time and it’s a hundred extra ninja forehead flicks.”
Aileen shed big, cow-like tears of injustice. Crocodile tears? A samurai imitating the sincere tears of commoners just to escape the situation was an insult to the people.
“Uwaaaaaah!”
Aileen charged, flinging tears and piss.
Shuk-shuk-shuk-shuk…
Still way too slow. Back on Earth I couldn’t even find a ninja village, so I never got proper training no matter how much I wanted it. This bitch had clearly received private lessons from professional instructors for decades, yet this was all she had. Confirmed parental-spine-breaker Aileen. Unforgivable.
“Are you kidding me right now?”
I snatched the rapier from her hand the way you’d snatch a treat from a cat’s mouth.
Crack!
“Th-That sword…!”
I snapped it clean in two. Sparks flew, and Aileen’s lightsaber completely powered down.
“Playing with kid toys like this is why your skills never improve!”
I grabbed the hair of the still-dazed Aileen, shook her a few times, then treated her to a face-first kiss with the floor.
Crunch!
“Uuuuh…”
A few of Aileen’s teeth were gone. I yanked her pants down. Her piss-soaked ass cheeks. I didn’t want to use my hands, so I grabbed a broken piece of wood nearby and started thrashing her.
Pang-pang-pang-pang!
“Uwaaaagh!”
“How much money do you think your parents invested to turn a crybaby bed-wetter like you into a person?! Huh?! And with skills this pathetic you swagger around and do unspeakable things to Jina’s father?!”
This was a requiem for Jina’s father and for the Shin Nobin of Earth who never made it to a ninja village. For rhythm I occasionally smacked Aileen’s head too.
Pang-pang-pang-pang! Thwack! Pang-pang-pang! Thwack! Pang-pang-pang-pang!
“...”
I beat her so mindlessly that Aileen had already gone to Buddha’s embrace.
“Hmm.”
A sage’s moment arrived; my mind grew calm. The new power and my rage at how weak Aileen was had made me lose it a little. Still, expressing hatred toward evil was righteous. The fact that anger at injustice formed the foundation of justice was undeniable.
But what to do with this?
“Nin?!”
A brilliant idea struck me. This world was a terrible place with no concept of ninjas. Naturally there was no fear of ninjas, nor the reverence that surpassed it for runaway ninjas. That was why things like this happened so often.
That couldn’t stand. Every yakuza (see Chapter 16) needed to know: your personal bully, the runaway ninja, was here.
With that resolve, I hoisted Aileen over my shoulder.
“Kyaaaaaaah!”
A woman’s scream shattered the sleep of Martolan, a city exhausted from the festival that had lasted until dawn.
“Haa…”
“What in the world…”
City guards who rushed over witnessed the atrocity piled in front of the fountain: a heap of women’s corpses.
“Huh? This armor—isn’t that the Iron Lobster Knights?”
“There’s something written here?”
One guard, pinching his nose, approached and picked up a sheet of paper resting on the bodies.
Whoever raises violence against innocent commoners—I care not who you are. I, the Runaway Ninja, will punish you with death.
The blood-soaked paper bore those words in crooked handwriting.