Chapter 8: The Guard's Joyful Inspection Life (8)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 8: The Guard's Joyful Inspection Life (8)
Nothing particularly special happened on my second day of work. Tanya, who had entered the dungeon full of confidence, came back out after hunting a few slimes and goblins, complaining about how exhausted she was. The other hunters, having heard the rumors about the baldy’s arrest, were on their best behavior and submissively underwent their inspections.
Interestingly, quite a few extra female hunters who never appeared in the original eroge showed up. While their looks were significantly inferior to Iruna or Tanya, they were still decent enough to make the inspections enjoyable.
I didn't sleep with any of them, though. You damn bitches, learn to wash yourselves... If they had been pretty enough, I might have endured it and fucked them, but their looks weren't worth the effort. My standards have gotten way too high after seeing nothing but beauties these past few days.
However, it was strange that every single one of the five-plus female hunters I inspected today smelled just as bad. Was this some kind of wisdom passed among female hunters to avoid being raped during inspections? When I finished the cursory inspections and sent them on their way, they entered the dungeon praising me, saying, "As expected of such a fair and upright man!"
Just how much of a thug are the guards in this world for them to react like that? I'm sure that as my reputation grows, more female hunters will seek out my dungeon, and I believe there will be some beauties among them. Just like how Tanya sought me out after hearing about my reputation.
As I continued the inspections until evening, an opportunity arose to realize the true value of Return Scrolls. I checked the loot that Geum Taeyang had proudly laid out.
"Four vials of Slime Fluid. Five Dryad branches and one leaf. You didn't hunt any goblins?"
"The weapons goblins carry aren't worth any money and they're heavy, so I just leave them behind."
"I see. Slime Fluid is a key ingredient for cosmetics, and Dryad byproducts are like the licorice of alchemy—they go in everything. But I don't see any dropped items like Return Scrolls?"
As far as I knew, you could obtain Return Scrolls from treasure chests found while roaming Low-Rank dungeons. The same went for killing the Dryads that appeared on the 5th floor.
Various weapons, rings, and armor also dropped occasionally. That’s why the eroge boards on Namu Live always warned players never to buy equipment from shops. Why spend a fortune on them when they all drop in the dungeon anyway?
Yet, every hunter passing through today only brought back monster byproducts. Not a single person came out with a finished product. I even inspected them thoroughly to see if they were hiding anything, but found nothing.
Geum Taeyang, who had been nodding along when I spoke of the value of Slime and Dryad byproducts, looked puzzled the moment I mentioned Return Scrolls.
"Huh? Return Scrolls?"
"Can't you get Return Scrolls while exploring the dungeon?"
"Don't tell me, Guard, have you never actually been inside a dungeon?"
As if. I’ve cleared hundreds of dungeons in the eroge. But it was true that I hadn't stepped foot in one since arriving in this world.
The original owner of this body might have, but that had nothing to do with me. What was I supposed to do about having no memories? Are you listening, Creator? If you've got a problem with it, give me some memories. I shouldn't have to be this ignorant of the world's common sense.
"That's right."
"That’s incredible. I heard that guards usually clear dungeons to level up and gain the martial power suited for their position, but you're saying you've reached this level of skill through training alone? I truly admire you."
Aha. So that was the secret? My knowledge has increased.
"It's nothing special."
"I was wondering how someone so magnificent could exist, and now I feel like the mystery has been solved."
"Stop with the flattery and just answer the question."
I’d usually just listen, but the flattery was so blatant it was making me uncomfortable. If I let him keep going, he’d probably try to lick my boots.
Wait, the thought of Iruna doing that is actually kind of hot. I should try it while I'm giving her blowjob training. Rimming is a man's romance, after all.
"Ah, of course, there are rumors that you can get items in the dungeon. But they're just baseless rumors. I've been coming here for half a year and I've never seen a single Return Scroll. The only 'finished products' are the crude daggers the goblins carry. Besides, isn't it strange for a Return Scroll made of magic scrolls or metal equipment to drop just because you killed a monster made of flesh and blood?"
For a game world, it’s strangely realistic in the oddest places. I had no rebuttal for that logic.
"I see."
"Yes. I'm glad I could be of help."
"Then get going. Good work today."
"Thank you!"
Geum Taeyang gave a polite bow and left. The more I see him, the more I like the guy. It’s a shame the 'Taeyang' in his name stands for 'delinquent' and not 'maiden.'
As soon as Geum Taeyang disappeared, I checked my box.
[Low-Grade Recovery Potion x99]
[Return Scroll x99]
The quantity of potions and scrolls hadn't changed at all, even though I'd used them several times. Just how much would I make if I sold these?
Hehehe. I’m rich! It’s like I’m printing money!! I tucked one Return Scroll and one potion away to try selling them as a test, when someone opened the door and walked in.
"Captain? What brings you here?"
"Do I need a reason to visit?"
"Well, no, but..."
Serika, who had been wearing a stern expression, suddenly let out a short laugh. As if she couldn't hold it back anymore, she clutched her stomach and mouth, giggling.
"Fufu. So this is why you teased me. It certainly is entertaining."
"Are you here to get revenge for this morning? How typical of the cute Lady Serika."
"Fufu. Don't you have anything more original to say?"
I tried to counterattack, but she seemed unfazed. It hasn't even been a day and she’s already developed a resistance? Dammit. This is my total defeat.
"Don't look so grumpy. As you said, I do have business here today."
"What is it?"
"Are you pouting?"
Who’s pouting? I’m not a petty man. I have a heart as vast as the Pacific Ocean.
Seeing the triumphant Serika acting all concerned and checking my mood was actually quite funny. It’s an expression I want to keep seeing. So, let’s pretend I’m pouting.
"No."
"Cheer up. It's good news for you, too."
"Oh, now that you put it that way, I'm curious. What is it?"
"The execution ceremony for the bastards you caught yesterday is being held. Let's go watch together."
I caught them yesterday and the execution is today? The civil servants of this world are incredibly hardworking. Civil servants from other countries should come here and learn a thing or two.
"Sounds good. Do we have to go right now?"
"We have a little time. Why?"
"I wanted to buy some seeds to plant in the flowerbed on the way. It looked a bit empty when I saw it with you this morning, so I want to fill it with something."
"That's a wonderful idea. Decorating a flowerbed is a joy. I couldn't do it because my place doesn't have one. If you don't mind, I can recommend some plants that are easy for beginners to grow."
"I'd appreciate that."
As I followed behind Serika, a question suddenly occurred to me.
"Captain, don't you get paid more than me? You don't even have a flowerbed at your place?"
"I live in the dorms. Even as a guard captain, you never know what might happen, so I'm a bit reluctant to live off-site."
"It certainly is dangerous. Especially since you're such a beauty, Captain."
"Ugh."
It was just lip service, but the reaction was great. She’d developed a resistance to being called cute, but 'beauty' was still effective.
"To be honest, I almost fell for you the first time I saw you. You were the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"Stop..."
"Your skin is incredibly nice, too. It must be because you take such good care of it."
"It's not. I just do a bit of basic skincare."
"Don't tell me you're not wearing any makeup right now? You're so pretty I thought for sure you were wearing some. But this is your bare face? There are probably few people in this city more beautiful than you, Serika."
"Stop, stop it!"
Serika fanned herself with her hand. Her face was flushed a deep, unmistakable red.
"I see now that you're quite the flatterer. You must have made many women cry with that silver tongue."
"Not at all. I hadn't met anyone until I became a guard."
"Really? Then why are you so good at talking?"
"Because I'm only speaking the truth."
"Whew..."
Feeling the heat, Serika fluttered the front of her uniform. The four-leaf clover pinned to her front pocket stood out.
I was going to tease her more, but we arrived at a stall near the plaza. Serika, looking relieved, began talking to the stall owner.
"I'm here to buy some seeds to grow in a flowerbed."
"If it isn't the Guard Captain! It's an honor to have you at my stall."
"Fufu."
Serika turned back to me with a winner's smile. Was she trying to show off how famous and impressive she was? How cute.
"Give me some Sun Herb, Mana Herb, and Mint."
Serika had good taste. Sun Herb and Mana Herb were ingredients for low-grade recovery potions, and Mint was the plant that built an affinity with the innkeeper's daughter, one of the eroge heroines.
All three shared the common trait of being growable at Cultivation Level 1. It seemed her claim about wanting to decorate a flowerbed wasn't just empty talk.
"Are you two going to grow them together? Are you a couple, perhaps?"
"No!"
Serika jumped in surprise. I quickly leaned in close to her side.
"Do we look that good together?"
"Haha. You're a lovely couple. You're the best-matched pair I've seen among all the couples who come by."
"Thank you."
"You..."
I ignored her resentful gaze. That’s what you get for teasing me earlier. Consider this your punishment.
"Here are the seeds. I've added a few extra to wish you two a bright future."
"How much?"
"Just 10 copper coins."
That’s incredibly cheap. In the game world, this much would have cost at least 50 copper coins. It seems the cost of living has gone down with the reality patch.
As I reached into my pocket to pay, Serika stopped me.
"Here is 10 copper coins."
"Thank you! Please come again!!"
We left the stall.
"I could have paid for that."
"It's a gift. Didn't you give me a gift as well?"
Serika tapped the four-leaf clover on her chest.
"I feel like I'm receiving far more than I gave. I'll treat you to a meal next time."
"Hmph. I didn't do it expecting anything in return, but if a subordinate wants to buy me dinner, I'll gladly accept. No, more importantly, what was that back there?"
"What was what?"
"That... about us being... a couple..."
Serika couldn't finish her sentence, clearly embarrassed. She really is cute.
"We got a bonus service because of it, didn't we?"
"Is that the only reason you said we were a couple? Do you just do that with any woman?"
"Of course not. I only did it because it was you, Captain."
"..."
Haha. I won again. Serika, whose face and even the tips of her ears were dyed red, couldn't say a word.
The stall and the execution ground were in the same plaza, so we arrived quickly. The executioner was raising a large sword, seemingly about to begin.
And then, I heard the desperate struggle of the baldy with the sword.
"I was wrong! I was wrong!! Please spare me! I want to live! I want to—!!"
The baldy's head flew off. The watching citizens cheered. Typical barbaric Medieval-land citizens, enjoying the sight of someone dying.
"Criminals must die."
Serika, who had been silent, spoke with a sense of pride. Hmm... I have a lot to say, but I'll keep it to myself.
The execution ceremony was mostly over, and I was about to head back when I saw something sparkling on the ground of the execution site. I pushed through the hyenas trying to scavenge the prisoner's blood, nails, or hair, and saw it clearly.
[Mandrake Seed x1]
Isn't this a restricted item for dungeon entry? I pocketed the seed while Serika was distracted by the crowd.
Jackpot. With this, I can have my way with Tanya.